Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ A Brother's Lament ❯ Do you Hate me? ( Chapter 1 )

I have done a lot of bad things over the years. Things I am not particularly proud of. Things I wouldn't want my little brother to know. And some things he already does know.

 

I am an asshole. I know that for sure. I have done terrible unspeakable things all in pursuit of power. I have hurt people. Complete strangers and the people that I love alike.

 

People? More like one person now. Our happy little family…gone.

 

The one person I have left in this world. My little brother. My family. I fear that I have hurt him the worst. He looks up to me to help him if he falls, to save him if he's in trouble. He never knew our parents; the cruelest injustice in this world: the fact that he never got a chance to even look at out mother. All he has ever had is me. He is the best little brother I could ever ask for. I remember the day he was born. He was so innocent…fragile.

 

On her deathbed our mother asked me to protect him.

 

And I have failed him. I am the worst big brother ever. I couldn't save him in Duelist Kingdom or in Noah's virtual world. I couldn't spare him from the one thing that even I feared: the truth. Yes, now he knows. Every sordid little detail, all the wrongs I have committed- everything, thanks to Noah. I failed again that day in the worst way imaginable. I have never known more fear until that day when I was dueling against Noah. And there he was by Noah's side, a human shield, ready to protect Noah -against me. I was afraid. Genuine fear crawled into me, humbling me. The realization that I could possibly hurt him -again. Indeed, power is a very scary concept.

 

I don't blame him. I wasn't angry that day, I was only…afraid. Of hurting him again.

 

I bet Noah didn't even have to try that hard, all he had to do was to show him the truth. The person who I really am. The truth is I am a terrible person. I know that, the world knows that, and now even he knows it.

 

He's a good person, unlike me. He's only twelve years old and he has more conviction than I ever will. He's short now but one day he'll be taller than me.

 

He's a good person. He is the best brother that I could ever possibly ask for, and I am the worst. I have neglected him. I have used and manipulated him. I have hurt him, the one person I have left in this world and I hurt him.

 

I love you Mokuba. I am so sorry….

 

I know “they” hate me. If there is a “God” I think he'd hate me too. But I don't care anymore. Nothing else matters. That's why I need to know.

 

Do you hate me, Mokuba?

 

I wouldn't blame you if you did. I'd hate me too.

 

The truth is you're the only reason I've lasted this long. You never needed me, I needed you. I don't deserve you. I know that now. I am not worthy of your love or of the title “nisama”. I am so sorry. I need to ask you something. I am more afraid of your answer then anything else in this world, but I need to know.

 

Do you hate me?

 

I wouldn't blame you if you did. I'd hate me too.