Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ A Brother's Love ❯ Chapter Fourteen ( Chapter 14 )

Author(s): Anime-Blade and Kikyana

Rate: M

Pairing: Tabloidshipping- SetoxMokuba

Warnings: yaoi, incest, occ-ness in characters, language.

Disclaimer: We don't own anything except the plot! And all OC's

Status: 14/---

A/N: This is a roleplay-turned-fanfiction between my friend and I. It starts out with Mokuba and from there will alternate between the two, gomen if it gets confusing.

 

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Chapter Fourteen:

 

Pain, pain... So many different versions... Some stung, other's burned, it could even numb you... And then there was the type that was all and then again none at the same time, it wasn't something that could be described. What was his brother thinking?! Liking pain... he didn't have a clue as to what the word meant! "What the fuck is wrong with you?!"

 

"I'm sorry!" He cried out. He himself didn't know just why the feeling of pain was so alluring. He didn't know why he liked the feeling, but he did. And he knew he did. There was nothing he could do to change that. His sobs turned louder and he buried his face into his hands. Ashamed. He wanted to run, but again found movement impossible...

 

The bathroom door was open again in seconds, Kaiba staring at his brother like he was insane. "Sorry?! You were practically asking me to fucking RAPE you and you're say sorry?!?!"

 

He couldn't control the sobs that tore through him. His brother, his lover, his everything, hated him now. Why did he tell him that!? He could have lied...he could have made something up. "Niisan…please...I'm so sorry...please stop yelling..."

 

"How can you say you like pain when you've never even felt it!!" Tears of frustration and anger coursed down his cheeks, though he made no move to rid himself of them. Sorry wasn't going to cut it. Sorry wasn't going to change the fact that Seto was losing it.

 

Mokuba cringed as his brother screamed at him. He felt like dying. The thought of his brother leaving him, abandoning him, it was to much to handle. He didn't want to explain it to his brother, because he knew the older would never understand, and probably hate him even more, "Oh god...niisama...please...I love you so much...please don't leave me...please...I'm so sorry....so sorry..." he shook violently as he cried.

 

He tried to calm himself down, stop himself from shaking as much as he was. Seto shakily sat down on the edge of the bed, burrowing his face in his hands. "Just get out..."

 

He looked up at him, his breathing was completely shaky. He crawled over to the bed quickly, and reached up, grabbing one of Seto's hands, holding it with two of his, rubbing his cheek against it. He was doing anything to make it feel like his brother wasn't abandoning him, "Please niisama....don't leave me...I love you...please don't hate me....I'm so sorry....Aishiteru....Aishiteru...."

 

"Don't touch me!" He immediately pulled away from him, moving back as far as he could. Mokuba's words fell on deaf ears as the brunette wasn't even listening anymore. He was still shaking uncontrollably, while the tears continued to streak his face.

 

His tears stopped. What his brother had just done, pulled away from him like he did, yelled at him like he had. It was all too intense...his heart was shattered. He gasped, trying to fill his lungs with air. The air seemed to keep escaping him. Then, he burst into tears again, crying uncontrollably. Seto had told him, that he would never abandon him...why now? He needed his brother. Without him he was nothing. He could no longer sit up, to weak to keep himself up. He laid down on his side on the floor, continuing to cry. Seemingly lost to the world around him.

 

His face was buried in one the pillows, smothering the sobs that continued to escape him without his consent. He couldn't keep his thoughts together anymore, everything running together and making his head spin. Too many memories, too much pain, pain... pain... pain, nothing else but intolerable pain... He'd worked so well to drive everything back, putting up walls around himself and forcing him to forget. Yet in the span of mere seconds, five years worth of work of suppressing it became useless.

 

He finally managed to sit up, shakily. The next step, actually standing took a little bit longer. His tears still fell freely. Eventually, he managed to get himself to his feet, stumbling. He looked over to see Seto, crying. His brother never cried...he felt terrible. He wanted to comfort the older...but Seto didn't want to be touched by him. He walked over to the bed, and looked down at his brother, "Niisama...please..." he managed to croak out, "Please...please don't hate me..."

 

He still wasn't paying attention, merely gazing ahead of him blankly. Why did it always get worse? It never seemed to stop... stop... never stopping, only getting worse and more frequent. It was hardly above a whisper when he spoke, a silent plea to no one, since no one had ever done anything before... "Make it stop..."

 

Mokuba heard it. He was good at hearing the quiet things his brother said. He kneeled down beside the bed, and slowly, reached a hand out, rubbing the older's back soothingly, as his brother did to him. "What, niisama?" His voice was soft and gentle, "Make what stop? Please....tell me..."

 

He continued to murmur it over and over, eyes snapping shut as he clutched his head, feeling it spin again. Nothing was making sense anymore; the pain was mingled with confusion so even that was difficult to understand.

 

He was scared. He didn't know what was wrong with his brother. He moved, so he was sitting on the bed beside him. With some difficulty he managed to grab his brother, and pull him into an embrace, "Shhh.... Niisama... It's okay... it's okay.... shh..."

 

He clutched to the younger, burying his face in the other's chest. The exhaustion that had been threatening him before was once again on the borders of his mind, threatening him with the black abyss that sleep granted. He didn't want to give in though, he needed to stay awake, needed to make sure nothing happened...

 

He'd never seen his brother so desperate. He didn't want to cry, he felt he had to be strong for the other, but he couldn't help but let a few tears drop. He took to rubbing the older's back again, trying to comfort him, "Shhh... It's alright now, nothing's going to happen..." his voice was just as soft, just as gentle. He rocked the other back and forth very gently, like a mother would her child. Trying every way he could think of to bring some amount of comfort to the older.

 

His breathing slowly started to calm down, though he continued to hold onto his brother tightly, refusing to let go. Blue eyes were still tightly clenched shut, giving slightly as the minutes went by. He wasn't shaking anymore, merely shivering like one would from the cold.

 

He allowed his eyes to slip shut, as he continued to rub the other's back, in a desperate attempt to get him to calm down more. "There, there..." He looked back down at him, on the verge of tears again. It was his entire fault his brother had become so upset..."Niisama...can you speak now?"

 

The words hadn't even registered in his mind right away, still slowly calming down. When he finally took note of what of the younger had said, dulled blue eyes glanced up at the raven haired teen for a moment, before turning to stare blankly at the wall. In response, he merely tightened his hold around his brother.

 

Mokuba nodded slightly in response, "It's alright...there isn't any need for words right now, niisama...Just know that I love you very much..." He continued to try and soothe the other, as much as possible, "There now...go to sleep...You need it, niisama..." He was trying to sound calm, cool, and level headed. But he couldn't help the way a little bit of worry slipped through.

 

The word sleep somehow made sense to his mind, and he silently agreed with it for now as his eyes slipped shut again. His breathing had calmed and was once again normal, although his hold on the other only lessoned ever so slightly. Confusing and painful thoughts left him for the moment, leaving in its place sweet oblivion that offered sleep as its comfort.

 

-- -- --

 

Hours passed by. How many, was unknown to the raven-haired teen. But it was dark. He had spent them, watching his brother. Looking for signs of discomfort. He himself couldn't sleep, even though he wanted to. He wanted to be conscious when his brother woke up. He wanted to be able to make sure the other wouldn't go hysterical again.

 

Sleep was what his body had needed, and his mind used the time to straighten itself and slowly begin suppressing everything again- it just hurt like hell with having to remember everything. Something of a whimper escaped the brunette before blue eyes slowly opened, slightly blurry from the remnants of sleep.

 

He had been absent-mindedly staring at a spot on the bed, when his brother's soft whimper snapped him from his daze. He shook his head slightly, to clear his thoughts, and looked down at the other, "Niisama..." He bit his lip slightly, hoping the sleep had helped him.

 

Seto blinked for a moment before glancing up at his brother, he merely stared at him before he released his hold on him and pulled away. He moved to sit next to him, leaning back against the headboard.

 

Mokuba stretched slightly, and then moved so he was sitting in front of his brother. He looked up into Seto's face, finding the other's blue eyes in the near complete darkness of the room, "Niisama...what happened?" he questioned.

 

Seto turned his gaze away from his brother, staring at a random spot on the ground. "Gomen..." He murmured quietly, remembering the last bit now, before he had fallen asleep. He knew he'd hurt Mokuba, hadn't meant for it to turn out like that, and hadn't meant to just snap like that... "Gomen..."

 

"Iie niisama...." He moved forward and grabbed one of Seto's hands, holding it much like he had before. With both hands. "Don't apologize...it was my fault..." He nuzzled his cheek against the hand, a few tears dripping onto it, "...I made you cry..."

 

"You're crying now... again..." His voice cracked slightly as he spoke, he didn't seem to care like he normally did. Moving slightly, he pulled Mokuba against his chest, so that he was facing away from him. Seto wrapped his arms tightly around the younger one, trying to fight back his own tears again.

 

He reached up and wiped his own tears away, "It's okay, really...I just got so worried...I thought you were going to leave me...and then you started crying, and you scared me...I've never seen you cry like that...It's all my fault..." He shifted slightly, leaning against his brother as much as possible.

 

"I promised I wouldn't leave you... No matter what happens I'm not going to leave you." He was whispering again. He hated that his brother thought that, though... Seto couldn't really blame him. "I love you too much..."

 

He shifted so he was facing his brother, "I love you too Seto...more then anything else..." He buried his head into his brother's chest, crying loudly once again. "I'm so sorry...I should have never said anything!"

 

Seto tilted the younger's face up, staring at him for a moment before pressing their lips together. He didn't want to think about it again, so distracting both of them was the only thing coming to mind.

 

He kissed him back, eyes closing tightly. He could still feel that tears were streaking down his cheeks. He couldn't remember a time that he had cried so much. He deepened the kiss, keeping it passionate and loving.

 

Seto could feel his own tears once again streaking his cheeks, leaving them and instead deepening their kiss. He lightly licked his brother's lower lip, before running it along his upper lip as well.

 

Mokuba opened his mouth, drawing the older's tongue into it. He chastised himself mentally for making his older brother cry, but those thoughts were soon leaving him as he focused on nothing but the kiss.

 

He broke away from Mokuba once his lungs started to burn from the lack of breathing, causing him to pant heavily as he watched the younger, keeping his eyes focused on him. He lightly touched the other's cheek, caressing it softly.

He kept his eyes closed. He didn't want to look up, and maybe be faced with a disappointed or maybe even angry look. When he felt the older's hand touch his cheek softly, he allowed his eyes to slip open. "Seto...please...tell me what happened to you..."

 

"I just... remembered something..." He turned his gaze away from the other, lowering it to the bed sheets. He wasn't going to tell Mokuba, not now, not when he had kept it to himself for the past ten years.

 

Mokuba frowned, "Seto, you didn't just remember something to be crying like that! What was it...please tell me...I want to try and help you..." He felt like a failure as a lover.

 

"Mokuba... please... don't ask me..." Seto shifted so he was lying down again, curled up slightly on his side. He lightly touched one of Mokuba's hands before lacing their fingers together. He needed to be close to his brother right now...

 

He moved so he could lie beside the older. His free hand took to stroking through his hair, "Niisan...I'm sorry for making you cry...please don't be upset anymore..." he gently continued to run a hand through the other's hair, trying to comfort him, "I love you..."

 

"Go to sleep... I know you're tired..." He murmured quietly, still feeling exhausted himself. He already knew he would have to finish prepping before he left for his meeting, not that it bothered him too much. Seto had done it before, so he didn't see a problem in doing the same thing again. Beside's, even though he knew he was tired, sleep still wouldn't come easily to him again. Blue eyes glanced at Mokuba, locking with stormy ones for a moment before Seto let his eyes slip shut. "Aishiteru..."

 

Mokuba was tired, his whole body was tired. A few hours of crying could do that to a person. But he didn't want to sleep. He wanted to stay awake, feeling the warmth of his brother's touch. "Please...let me just stay with you a little longer...don't let go..." he said, sleepily. He felt his eyes slip shut as he laid his head back down on Seto's chest.

 

Seto wrapped his arms around him, hugging him close. He hadn't wanted this to happen, especially not like this. They'd both been hurt because of it. Blue eyes opened for a moment to watch the younger before slipping shut again. A few hours more of sleep, then he'd work...

 

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It was roughly five in the morning when he next woke up, though he didn't feel like moving from his current spot. Glancing down, he found that Mokuba was still resting against his chest, while his own arms were still wrapped tightly around him. Sighing, the older shifted and moved Mokuba until he was lying against the pillows, before getting up and walking over to his desk- he needed to finish prepping, since his meeting was in less then three hours.

 

Mokuba shifted uncomfortably. He could feel that his brother's presence had gone. This forced him to wake slightly, "Niisan..." he muttered. He moved around, trying to point his head in the direction of his brother, but his eyes were still shut, he couldn't pry them open. Still so tired...

 

Seto glanced over at Mokuba, a half smile on his lips. Sighing again, he took his work and moved back over to the bed, sitting next to the younger while he started working again. At least his brother would still be able to get the sleep he needed.

 

Mokuba felt the bed move when his brother sat down, and he immediately moved over to him. He curled up against the other, nuzzling his cheek into the older's thigh. He made a light noise of relief, and muttered something that sounded a lot like "I love you."

 

Blue eyes glanced down at the younger for a moment, Seto pausing briefly in his work to gently caress his brother's cheek. Smiling once again towards to the younger, he grabbed a sheet of blank paper, making a note to himself to leave some cash for Mokuba before he left- since he knew that when his brother next woke, he would already be gone.

 

He had the same thought vaguely resting in the back of his mind. It was one of the reasons he didn't slip back into sleep. "Mmm...Seto..." He nuzzled against him again, "Cuddle with me?" he questioned. And then regretted it because he knew his brother was working.

 

"If I finish before I leave, go back to sleep, Mokuba." He murmured quietly, continuing with his typing, only pausing briefly to shuffle through papers. He wasn't going to get angry with the younger, even if he might be worried about it- that's how their last argument came about, and he wasn't about to have a repeat.

 

He didn't want to press the matter any longer. He, of course, didn't want a repeat of before, "Then I'll just lay here and snuggle you," he said happily, "If I go back to sleep I won't see you before you leave..."

 

"If you want." Blue eyes shifted to him once again, before Seto shook his head slightly and went back to focusing on the screen in front of him. He was going to try and finish this quickly, or at least take only two hours instead... He wasn't sure if he could manage it though.

 

Mokuba snaked his arms around the older's waist, holding him close. "Can you...talk to me while you work?" he asked. He still wanted to try and find out exactly what Seto had remembered but he assumed it had to do with Gozaburo...

 

"What do you want to talk about?" He had a feeling his brother was trying to get him to talk about earlier, but he wasn't about to let it slip that easily. Seto frowned for a moment at the computer screen, finding something wrong, but found the problem a moment later.

 

He shrugged his shoulders slightly before yawning, "Anything really..." he nuzzled against the older a little more, "You know...once we were adopted...we never really got to talk that much...maybe start with stuff that happened back then..."

 

Seto tensed slightly, knowing he was right in his guess. "There's nothing to talk about." He stated simply, switching to type with one hand while the other sorted through the papers next to him.

 

He sighed slightly, "Come on Seto...it was a long time before Gozaburo was gone...there must be something to talk about..." He knew it had to be something bad, for his brother to get as hysterical as he had, but he was determined to find out what it was.

 

"Mokuba..." There was a tone of warning in his voice, blue eyes glancing down at the teen briefly before turning back to the flickering monitor of the laptop. "There's nothing to talk about…"

 

He sat up; the blanket that had been covering him fell off of his shoulders, "No Seto! It wasn't nothing! Nothing wouldn't have made you cry like that.... please... just tell me... I want to know everything about you, niisan..."

 

"Don't start this again! Why don't you just drop the subject already?" Why was he starting this again? Hadn't they just gotten past this, and yet his brother was trying to get him to talk again.

 

He nodded slowly, not wanting to anger his brother. He hung his head, looking at the bed, "Gomen, niisan..." He moved away slightly, and laid back down on his side, back facing Seto. He pulled the covers up, drawing them tight around his body. He hated it when his brother yelled at him, it was the worst feeling in the world.

 

"Mokuba..." Seto sighed and set the laptop down on the bedside table before moving closer to his brother. He let his fingers run through the raven hair for a moment in silence before speaking. "Don't you think I would have said something before if I wanted you to know? Don't you think there's a reason why I haven't said anything before?"

 

Mokuba shifted slightly, and looked over his shoulder at his brother, "I know that you don't want me to know...I understand that...but I want to know, Seto...I want to know everything...I know there must be a reason, but I don't know what that reason is..."

 

"And I can't tell you the reason because then you would want to know even more. So leave it be. It doesn't matter anymore, it's not important now." Seto said quietly, continuing to play with the younger's hair.

 

He shook his head slightly, "No niisan, it is important...whatever it was that caused you to have a mental breakdown...I'm worried about you. And I know I triggered it...so if you tell me what it is, I can make sure I never say anything to make you think of it again..."

 

Seto merely shook his head and sighed, moving back over to pick up where he had left off in his work. He knew Mokuba wouldn't drop it, but now was not the time for it, he needed to get this finished before the meeting started. "I'll tell you when we return home, no sooner then that." Though he honestly hoped his brother would forget, he highly doubted that would happen.

 

"You have to swear you will tell me." He said, watching his brother as he moved. He turned so he was now on his other side, facing the older.

 

"I'll tell you when we get home." Blue eyes glanced over towards the younger, staring intently into the stormy eyes of his brother for a few moments before he turned back to his work.

 

He nodded slightly and closed his eyes once again, "I'm sorry niisan...can I just ask you one favor?" He took in a deep breath, "I want you to forget what I told you before..."

 

Seto didn't reply, instead he simply continued typing, acting like he hadn't heard him. He wanted to forget that himself, but considering that's why this whole mess started... It was a bit hard to. "Go back to sleep, Mokuba."

 

He curled up, closing his eyes. "Hai, niisan..." He wanted to fall back to sleep. But he just couldn't his mind was swimming with so many different thoughts, that it was hard to push them all back and allow sleep to take over. There was never a time in his life when he hated himself more.

 

The room stayed silent for the following few minutes, their breathing and Seto's typing the only sounds. Without looking to the younger he spoke again, "I'd have thought you would have noticed... Or maybe you didn't think to look?" He murmured quietly, whether to himself or Mokuba was left to be seen.

 

He only vaguely heard what his brother said. He sat up slowly, looking at the older. His head tilted to the side, "Didn't think to look for what?" He questioned, confused. He had assumed Seto was talking to him.

 

"You wouldn't have had a reason though.." He mused, apparently not hearing the other. "I suppose it's more obvious to me since I know, but I'd have thought..." Seto sighed and shook his head before going back to simply typing.

 

"Uhm...niisan?" Mokuba moved closer to him. He sat beside the older, and rested his head on his shoulder, "What are you talking about, I'm confused..." He sighed slightly, "And don't give me any 'I don't want to talk about it' or 'it's nothing' crap...tell me."

 

"Hm? Ne, if it confuses you, then you'll have to wait until we get back home." He preferred for Mokuba to figure it out himself, rather then actually having to tell him. But why would he look for the faint scars running across his chest and back?

 

He sighed again, a bit more heavily this time. "Fine, you win...as usual..." He moved away from his brother and laid down again, "I just don't see why you refuse to tell me...are you scared to?"

 

"Perhaps..." He'd let his brother think about it, and hopefully something would click... Mokuba would have to start thinking back on little details, things that would seem insignificant at the time, but were vital in figuring this out.

 

Mokuba nodded. He knew what it was like to feel scared to tell someone something. And this, it was obviously bigger then even his older brother could handle, "I'll have plenty of time to think about it today...I'm going to go back to sleep, okay?" he said and yawned.

 

"Fine." He murmured quietly, once more turning his full attention back to his computer, intent on getting everything finished before eight. He had after all promised to try and spend the last bit of time with his brother before he left.

 

He nodded slightly, "If you finish early, wake me up, alright?" he yawned once more and closed his eyes. He was still so tired, and the sleep washed over him very quickly.

 

Seto merely continued with his work, letting the younger sleep. He was fine with waking his brother before he left, though whether or not he would be willing to get up was a different story...

 

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Review responses

 

MalfoyRocks- With dominance, it all depends on the mood I suppose. Kinda like Seto x Yami pairing- it all depends on their mood. As for arguments, I think it has a lot to do with Seto- I can see in almost any pairing he's in, that there is bound to be arguments about how he acts or something concerning him.

Sealplay- Aa, they're over it for now…

White- -blinks- Well, here's an update, lol.

Pharaohs Little Sister- He's not being harsh- you just have to see it from his point of view about all this.

Kikumaru-twin- I think responding to reviews is interesting, plus, it tends to give away hints here and there. And the things we added for suspense and all… I think I over did some of it Oo;;

Shrimp-Toast- -throws confetti- Yay! Some of the chapters are long though, lol. And Thankies for saying that! It's the point I was trying to make before! Four years is quite a long shot- especially when you're going from eleven to fifteen. Anything is possible.

Koi-Bara- -dies laughing-

 

Five reviews for the next chapter!