Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ A Different Kind of You ❯ Going Home ( Chapter 10 )

Yugi was watching morning cartoons the next day with a blanket laying beside him and a pillow resting in his lap. He felt much better that day than the previous day so he was forced to give credit to the disgusting poison some doctors like to call cold medicine.

"You look better," Yami said from the hallway entrance.

"Feel better, too."

"That's good."

"Yami, are you upset with me?"

"Why would I be?"

"Because of what I did yesterday; kissing you didn't seem like the best thing to do with a cold, but I couldn't help myself."

Yami was silent for a while before he slowly shook his head at the younger. "I can't say I'm upset with you since I've wanted to do it too. But…but now that I have I can't seem to forget it…forget about you."

Yugi quickly looked up at his older look-a-like, shocked that he'd admitted something like that to him just like that. "You said you cared about me, Yami. What did you mean by that? Just as like older brother looking out for younger brother? Or was it…"

"Something more," Yami completely the sentence, "Yeah, I do. I know I said I don't believe in love because I've never felt…never felt that spark before that people get when they're in love. I don't feel butterflies in my stomach when I see someone; I don't get excited when I hear them on the phone. I don't get all caring and sentimental towards anybody. It was a real shock when I found myself anticipating your visits to the park."

"I thought you went to the park to pick up girls," Yugi questioned.

"I do…did. After meeting you and talking to you I couldn't find it in me to do that to girls anymore; I couldn't do it to anybody. I've tried and I couldn't do it. You're face keeps invading my mind. Everybody needs release, Yugi, some more so than others. With all the stress I thought this was the only thing that I could control in my life anymore. Picking up girls and using them to my disposal seemed like the only sensible thing to do at the time. Than I found out someone had it for a job and they didn't want it, you wanted to make something for yourself and try to stay alive even if that meant selling your body to strangers when I did it for fun. Finding out someone had it harder than me really shocked me, though I didn't let it show at the time. I felt so stupid, but I wanted to keep seeing you."

"So because you didn't find love in anybody so far you thought it was okay to go around flirting with people and made them think they had a real chance when you were really just using them for sex?" Yami regrettably nodded. "That's low, Yami. I didn't anybody could get bad, but you just proved me wrong. Congratulations, Yami, you've been voted as the leader of the many jerks I've met in the past." With that, Yugi stood, tossing the blanket and pillow to the floor, and headed for the door after retrieving his small bag of belongings.

Yami was surprised by the sudden action before realizing that Yugi was leaving and quickly asked, "Where are you going? You're cold could come back."

"I'd rather be sick than get better while living with someone who takes advantage of peoples' feelings like you have."

"Why are you so upset, Yugi?"

Yugi spun on his heel and glared at Yami. If looks could kill…. "You want to know why I'm so upset about learning how you spent your free time when you could be making something of yourself while you had the chance? Yami, my first time with someone was with my best friend because they wouldn't allow virgins at the whorehouse. I let something that was supposed to be one of the most important things in my entire life down to the dumps because I refused to live with what I was given at my place."

The older was shocked. This wasn't the Yugi he'd come to know and talked with for hours while just walking around and having fun times with. This one looked much different, a lot older, stress and despair forced behind large, innocent eyes. Is this what was showing all along and he refused to acknowledge it or was the younger so good at hiding his feelings that Yami could've never seen?

"Yugi…I-I…"

"Save it, Yami. I didn't think things could get any worse after what happened to me last night, but I was wrong. Added with that and now this I really don't think I'd mind going back home."

"I'm sorry, Yugi. I never meant to hurt you. I mean I-I can tell your hurt or else you wouldn't be so pissed off at me, obviously," He chuckled uneasily.

"Do you find this so funny to laugh about, Yami? Or are you just enjoying the thought that I don't enjoy sex as much as you do. I'll admit it, I'm a whore, I sell my body as a living. Now I'm going to change. I'll never love again and I'll never let anyone into my life for as long as I live. Goodbye, Yami. Have a good life, or as good as you can with a conscience or lack thereof, as you can." Yugi spun and ran out the door, forcing back tears as he fled from the only other friend he had.

~~

Yugi didn't even realize he was at the station until the lady at the ticket booth asked where he wanted to go. He hadn't known he was that out of it because of his argument with Yami.

`How could I have gotten so upset over something so trivial? Why should it matter to me what Yami does with his life? I never should've gotten attached. And what was I thinking when I kissed him? When I get home I'll make sure this never happens again.'

He told the lady the name of the city, already feeling the coldness of his fear seeping in through the barriers he'd built around his mind when he ran away. Home was the last place he wanted to be at the moment, but he really didn't want to stay here and he had no where else to go where he'd know he'd have some kind of shelter and way to live. He paid for his ticket and then walked dismally over to a deserted bench to wait for his train, dreading what was bound to be in store for him.

Yugi knew he must've blacked out again when the shriek of a whistle broke him from his daze. He looked at the splintered clock by the ticket booth and then at his ticket before gathering his tattered bag and heading over to the train. He gave his ticket to the man at the entrance, taking his half after it was checked and ripped before heading inside.

He looked around bleakly at the aged interior of the train before heading over to an unoccupied area and sat down on one of the benches. Looking around he noticed a lone book that must've been forgotten by somebody who last rode the train. There was a tatty, faded red bookmark somewhere in the middle of the book and Yugi was easily reminded of himself. Alone and forgotten, broken beyond repair and fading from existence very much like that bookmark; stuck only in the middle of life and not going anywhere.

`Where do I go from here? Am I just supposed to go home and waste away in my bound to be barren room to be completely forgotten and invisible or will I have to work like Ya- like he did,' Yugi deterred from thinking of Yami's name, not wanting to be reminded of him.

Somewhere during the ride Yugi fell asleep, but was startled away by the same shrill cry of the train's whistle announcing the arrival at the next stop. He quickly looked out the window for some sign of where he was and was slightly surprised he slept for so long when he saw the recognizable looking and unpromising sign of his hometown where he'd ran from.

~~

Malik startled awake with awake, feeling hot tears burning into his already red-rimmed eyes. He jumped when he felt warm fingers trickling along his back and he looked over his shoulder to see Marik looking up at him with a concerned look on his face.

"What's wrong, love?"

"I-I'm not sure," Malik admitted after a moment of silence.

"It looked like you were having a nightmare. What happened?"

The younger glanced around the room with a confused look on his face. When his eyes landed on a picture that was taken a few years ago with him and Ryou on both sides of…

"Yugi," He whispered, whimpering slightly as the memories flooded over him. "He left," More tears ran down his eyes at the memory.

"It's best not to think of it, Malik," The older told his lover, sitting up and wrapping his arms around the younger.

"No," Malik said, looking at him, "In my dream he left again. He knew I was there and he wasn't listening to what I was saying to him. And then he…he…" He began to break down crying into Marik's bare chest.

Marik sighed and rocked back and forth, whispering soothing words to his lover. "Don't worry, Malik, I'm sure you haven't seen the last of him."

"I'm a terrible friend, Marik. I wish I never existed than maybe…"

"Don't, Malik, just don't," Marik said forcefully, gripping his arms tightly to make sure he was listening. "Don't ever say something like that. He never left because of you, Malik wouldn't do that, I know it and so do you."

"If I hadn't introduced Yugi to Duke than he might not have ever fallen in love with him in the first place. It was because of me that they got close to each like they did," Malik continued to blame. Marik could feel him start to shiver a bit and he quickly became worried. This had only happened once before, but not as badly as this.

`It was because of me this happened the first time,' Marik thought to himself, remembering a couple days after he had raped Malik. Malik had repeating nightmares about what had happened, each time getting worse than the other. His young lover had gone into a fit after a short while and had ended up in the hospital. He didn't remember exactly what the doctor called it, but remembered it was a lot like after shock where Malik's brain would conjure up images that scared him and then he's started shaking uncontrollably and would end up hyperventilating and making himself sick.

When Malik had found out when he came out of it a few days later he had almost gone into it again when thinking that he caused so many people to worry about him. Marik was lucky to get him out of it and after that whole ordeal neither Malik nor Marik appreciated hospitals very much, even if they did save his life.

Marik was pulled from his when the shivering bundle in his arms started breathing slightly harsher and was quivering a little faster. Panic surging threw him, Marik held Malik tighter in his arms and begged him with everything he had to come back to him.

"Please, Malik, don't make me take you back there. Come back to me, please, I don't want to lose you."

The shivering decreased slightly, but it was still bad. Thinking hard he remembered about the pills the doctor had given him for something like this. He only wished it wasn't too late.

He jumped off the bed and started searching through all the dresser drawers and on the small desk. Marik was beginning to think that Malik had thrown them out when he pulled open the last drawer, causing it to fall out completely, and saw the bottle sitting on top of some books. He fiddled with the lid for a second before he finally managed to get it popped off and quickly tipped one of the pills into his hand.

Dropping the bottle on the desktop, not caring if they spilled or not at the moment, and rushed over to Malik who looked even worse from what he looked at only a minute ago. Trying not to let himself drown in the sea of his worry he forced his lover's mouth open and pushed the pill in, making sure he swallowed, and held onto tightly praying that it wasn't too late.

After a couple minutes the quivering deceased and the breathing slowly went back to normal. Marik breathed a sigh of utter relief and held onto Malik all the more tighter, thanking anybody who was listening repeatedly.

Malik blinked his eyes with confusion. He didn't understand why Marik was acting like he had in the hospital those years ago… unless…

"Marik," He whispered with fear tinting his voice, "I-I did it again, didn't I?"

Marik nodded against his back, rocking them back and forth, his eyes looking as though he were in a distant place.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be, Malik, please just don't. You came back to me and that's all that matters."

The younger wanted to argue that if he wasn't such a nut case that wouldn't have happened, but seeing the look on his lover's face stopped him from saying anything. He just nodded and enjoyed the warmth that was Marik around him.

~~

Ryou sat in his bedroom, watching his lover who was currently asleep on the bed. He had a soft smile on his face as he moves his white locks from his face, enjoying the angelic, unguarded face of his Bakura.

He turned back to face his desk, looking sadly at the pills his white-haired lover had taken to go to sleep. He remembered the first time he had tried to get Bakura to get to take his pills. He'd thrown such a fit and beat him badly, but after a few hours the headaches got to him and he'd ended up taking them. The pills probably saved his life just as much as Bakura's sanity.

Ryou read the label on the tacky orange color of the plastic and sighed at it. He jumped slightly when he heard Bakura mumble, but his lover just turned over and went back to sleep. He shook his head and turned back to the label.

The white-haired teen felt hot tears come to his eyes as he remembered all those times he didn't know what to do when Bakura got into his rages. Both he and Bakura had ended up in the hospital about a year ago.

`Almost a year to this date' Ryou thought, glancing at his hastily pen made calendar on a lined piece of paper tacked to the wall.

Bakura had been yelling at him and calling him all sorts of things that tore Ryou's heart apart further and further. He didn't understand what had gotten into his lover. He'd been so sweet for so long, but then he just started yelling at him and sometimes even hitting him. He just couldn't take it that day and ran away from him. He knew Bakura was following him, but he didn't let that stop him from running. His tears swimming in front of his eyes and falling down his cheeks were blinding him and his head was drowning with all the cruel things Bakura had been screaming so ruthlessly at him. With everything going on he had never noticed the car coming at him or Bakura's shouts for him to stop.

Ryou flinched as he remembered how much pain had run through his being when he was hit. What hurt him more was when he noticed a body next to his and felt arms around him and a warm wetness running down his neck. Just before he blacked out he looked over his shoulder and saw Bakura lying next to him, already unconscious.

Ryou had woken up a few days later, according to the doctors, and Bakura had woken up the day before that. He'd had it explained that, Bakura had told his story about what happened, Bakura had gotten to him just as the car was about to crash into him and ended up running into the both of them at the same time. The doctors had also told him that his lover admitted to some of the terrible things that he'd done for the past few months to Ryou and that he was scared about how he just couldn't control himself. All that day they were going to be going through a few tests to find out what was going on with Bakura. Ryou was worried for him, but he'd been told he should rest and try not to think about it, that nothing bad would happen.

The next day Ryou was told the results of Bakura's testing came in and that his lover had somewhat of a mental disease due to his stressful living conditions. His parents' addicts of drugs and drinking constantly had filled his mind and a violent nature had been born because of it. Bakura was unable to control that nature and unleashed it at random times. The white-haired teen was scared that Bakura would be taken away from him, but he was more relieved than he'd ever been in his life when the doctor told him that Bakura would be able to live normally as long as he took his pills.

As it was though, Bakura didn't want to believe it and was in denial for a couple weeks. Only when he actually looked at what Ryou was putting up with every time he got back in control of himself did he start crying and praying to Ryou to not leave him.

When Bakura came to him one day and said that he'd promised to take the pills from then on Ryou had been completely ecstatic about it and had actually jumped on his lover and covered him in kisses.

Tears mingled with the many others on his desk and Ryou jumped slightly when he saw the memories still brought tears to his eyes. Warm arms wrapped around his shoulders and his tears were kissed away with slightly dry lips.

"What are you thinking about, love," Bakura whispered into his ear.

"It's nothing, just letting myself go off into different places," Ryou lied. Bakura hated him thinking about all that had happened since it made him feel guilty and end up crying too. His lover liked to feel as though he was in control and protective and Ryou would do anything to make sure he was happy.

"As long as you're not hurt."

"Never, Bakura, not when I have you."