Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ A Love / Hate Relationship With Spring ❯ Chapter 5 - Reunited ( Chapter 5 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: whosjeebus 
In which Mokuba is found, Bakura is into water sports, and everyone notices Tea has boobs.
Anime/Manga: Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Drama / Comedy | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 04.25.2005 | Pages: 4 | Words: 6.5K | Visits: 525 | Status: Work In Progress
In which Mokuba is found, Bakura is into water sports, and everyone notices Tea has boobs.
Anime/Manga: Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Drama / Comedy | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 04.25.2005 | Pages: 4 | Words: 6.5K | Visits: 525 | Status: Work In Progress
Title: A Love / Hate Relationship With Spring - Chapter 5/??
Author: WhosJeebus
Rating: NC-17 (Sorry ladies, this chapter is tame)
Pairing(s): Seto/Joey, hints of Tristan/Duke, small insinuations of Tea/Yugi - maybe more. I said MAYBE. Step off.
Beta: Jennie B. (She's bigger than Jesus now!)
Spoilers: None (unless Seto and Joey actually DO start getting it on in the anime series, in which case I will stop writing fanfiction and get Tivo)
Disclaimer: Are you serious? Oh, OK. I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, I just twist it around and use it for my own perverted satisfaction. Don't look at me like that. I'm not the only one. You're reading this, after all.
Summary: Joey Wheeler has no shortage of reasons to hate the season of flowers, butterflies, and rebirth. Can someone unexpected give him a reason to enjoy it as well?
A/N: Sorry to disappoint my loyal reviewers (you know who you are!), but the individual thank-you's are going to have to wait until next time! I've been called out of town unexpectedly by a family emergency, and had to cut this short. I figured, in lieu of thanks, you guys would appreciate the next update rather than having to wait for me to get back. I hope you enjoy it and thanks again! - CJ 04/25/05
~~~~~~~~~~*****~~~~~~~~~~
WHEN WE LAST LEFT OUR HEROES...
Seto straightened his shoulders and allowed the blond to slip an arm back around him. It felt warm and comforting, but he resisted the urge to snuggle closer. As they continued their slow trek, he let his thoughts drift a bit as he mused on the day's strange occurrences. He couldn't help but wonder what else this innocuous-seeming Spring day held in store for him. The gates of Domino City Park appeared around the corner, and Seto froze in his tracks, Duke and Joey coming to a stop alongside him.
"Devlin?"
"Yeah, Kaiba?"
"Get your hand off my ass."
~~~~~~~~~~*****~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 5:
The three teenagers made their slow, deliberate way through the park while Joey regaled them with the tale of "The Fateful, Boot-Drenching Sneeze". Seto was surprised to learn that Joey was a gifted story-teller, despite his embellishments. He suppressed a grin. Or perhaps it was because of them. Regardless of the fact that he was still inwardly fuming over the incident, he found the other boy's version of the events amusing. He was also finding it increasingly difficult to stifle his laughter. He tried to mask his dilemma by focusing on defending himself from Devlin's roving hands. It had taken several more particularly dire threats to convince Duke to keep his hands to himself, but the result was only temporary - well, as far as he was concerned, anyway. The black-haired teen soon sought out more tolerant prey. Seto ground his teeth together. He was NOT jealous. The very notion was ridiculous.
"Ow!" Joey rubbed his backside as he glared over at Duke. Seemingly oblivious, the other teen stared at his fingernails with interest. "Stop pinchin' me, or I swear to God I'll tell Tris what you said about his dick."
Duke inhaled sharply and froze, bringing the other two boys to a lurching stop. "You wouldn't DARE!"
"Oh yeah? Try me."
Duke's tone turned pleading. "C'mon Joey! You know I was totally wasted when I said that!"
"In vino veritas*..." Seto murmured to himself.
Joey gawked. "Holy shit! I think Moneybags here just made a joke!"
Now it was Seto's turn to gawk. He was taken aback by the fact that not only had the mutt understood the reference, but that he had interpreted it correctly. The realization left him momentarily flustered. It seemed that the more time he spent around Joey Wheeler, the more his assumptions about the blond were challenged. He struggled to make his voice as brusque as possible and said, "I'm sorry. I didn't realize I had inadvertently lapsed into canine. I thought I was speaking Latin."
Joey opened his mouth, intending to let loose with both barrels, but an hysterical Duke interrupted him, "I don't care if he moonlights as a fucking stand-up comedian! I was drunk and what I said was taken completely out of context! Do you hear me? Out - of - context!" he panted, wild-eyed and out of breath. "Joseph Wheeler, if you have even the tiniest SPECK of a soul, you will never in a million years tell Tristan - "
"Tell me what?"
Duke shrieked and vaulted a good three feet in the air as a heavy hand came down on his shoulder. Bewildered by Duke's strange reaction, Tristan stumbled backwards, landing on his rear in the middle of the path. With his weight no longer supported on the left side, Seto found himself unable to get his feet under him in time. He fell to the ground with a muffled curse, Joey sprawled on top of him. The smaller boy levered himself up on his hands and looked down into Seto's face anxiously. "Oh man, are you OK?" He worriedly scanned the brunet's face, looking for signs of further injury. Suddenly, he became aware of something pressing against his leg... "Uh, Kaiba?"
Seto abruptly ceased any and all movements. He swallowed hard. "It's my cell phone."
"But you said your cell phone's in the limo and - "
Without thinking, Kaiba roughly shoved Joey off his chest. The blond let out a startled "Oomph!" and rolled over in the dust to land on his back. He quickly regained his feet and glared at Kaiba from under a wrinkled brow. He swiped half-heartedly at the dirt and debris on his clothing, never taking his eyes off the other boy who still lay on the ground. If Seto hadn't automatically believed he was imagining it, he would have said that Joey's feelings had been hurt. He shrugged off such laughable notions, and cautiously stood up under his own power. Duke, apparently recovered from his fright, eased his shoulder under Seto's left arm again, smiling apologetically up at the disgruntled CEO. He then whirled on Tristan and scolded, "Don't be sneaking up on me like that!"
Tristan made a face. "I wasn't sneaking. You're just so enchanted with the sound of your own voice that you didn't hear me." He wrapped his arm around Joey's neck. "Hey pal, I was just coming to look for you." He glanced over at the other two teens. "Looks like you picked up some baggage on your way back."
Duke bristled. "Hey - !"
Seto rolled his eyes. "He was referring to ME, you nitwit."
"Yeah, well THAT," Joey inclined his head in their general direction, "is a long story involvin' Twinkies, fire ants, tree sap, and uh, lost cell phones..." He sighed. "We're basically trying to track down Mokuba and get Kaiba here back to my place for a little first aid. You seen the kid recently?"
"Yeah, I saw him just a few minutes ago. He's probably moved on to a better hiding spot by now, though." Tristan took a step backwards as Seto growled and made a sudden move in his direction. "Hey, take it easy big guy. He wasn't hiding from ME."
Kaiba clenched his fists and glared at each of them in turn. "I want an explanation and I want it NOW. Where is my brother and why is he hiding?"
Joey waved his hand at the brunet dismissively. "Ignore him. He's havin' his Monday on a Saturday this week. Didja ever get your fifty bucks outta the little punk?"
Tristan looked peeved. "No. That's how this whole mess got started. I must've spun that merry-go-round fast enough to break the sound barrier, but I didn't even get him dizzy, much less make him toss his cookies. That kid's just not human." He reached over and whapped Kaiba on the back solidly. "You should be proud of that kid brother of yours, Kaiba. He's got one hell of a strong stomach."
"Pfff, I could've told you THAT," Joey interjected. "He wins every round of "What Will YOU Eat for a Dollar?" That kid's gonna be rich in his own right some day if he keeps it up."
At first, Seto was appalled at the conversation he was overhearing regarding his brother. It slowly dawned on him that both boys were speaking of his younger sibling in terms of fondness and affection. It seemed surreal to realize that others actively sought out Mokuba's companionship and, that his brother had obviously been cultivating friendships with Seto's rivals for some time. His stomach clenched as it occurred to him that he may be guilty of many of the same crimes as his stepfather, Gozaburo. Seto kept Mokuba close to him at all times, and treated him as a peer, an equal; not as a family member. Mokuba was his constant shadow, always at his side for corporate mergers, business dinners, board meetings. When did he ever get the chance to be a thirteen year-old boy? "Oh God, " he thought despairingly, "He's going to turn out just like me." With the unrelenting force of a crashing wave, Seto was nearly brought to his knees by one simple fact striking home in his brain: It wasn't that Seto was the only person who cared for Mokuba - it seemed that Mokuba was the only one who cared about HIM. He kept control of his runaway emotions by the barest of margins, and at that very moment, he wanted nothing more than to be back under the oak tree, dreaming uninterrupted and shutting out his bitter reality. Seto Kaiba was no stranger to adversity however, and his well-honed iron control would see him through these strange times. He was certain of it.
The other teens seemed oblivious to the epiphany occurring in their midst with the exception of Joey, who kept sneaking quick glances at the tall brunet, wondering what was going on in that brilliant head. For a moment, Kaiba's usually stern face had been contorted with such a heartbreaking blend of amazement and grief, it had taken all of Joey's willpower not to go over and wrap the other boy in a comforting hug. "Hug Kaiba?" He mentally smacked himself. "Where'd THAT thought come from?" He gave himself a good, firm shake before turning his attention back to the matter at hand. "OK. If Mokuba's off hidin' somewhere, let's just go track him down. Shouldn't be too difficult, right?"
"It's not that simple anymore." Tristan looked worried.
Duke rounded on his boyfriend, "Shit Tristan! What did you DO?"
Tristan flung his arms up in exasperation. "Why do you automatically assume it was me?"
"Because I KNOW you!"
The two boys were nose to nose, their heated exchange sure to escalate into blows at any second. Kaiba instinctively began to reprimand them, "You two need to - " He cut off in mid-sentence when the two teens collided in a passionate kiss, Tristan wrapping his arms around Duke's neck and moaning loudly. " - get a room," he finished, now thoroughly bewildered. From his uncomfortably close vantage point, he could easily tell that both Taylor and Devlin were willing participants in the exchange; there was an embarrassing amount of tongue involved, and Seto felt himself flush scarlet at the observation. He tried to pull his gaze away, but areas south of his brain were still attempting to run the show independent of rational thought. Forcibly jerking his head away from the captivating scene, he turned to look at Joey, expecting the blond to be apoplectic with rage. Instead, he found the other boy leaning casually against a lamp post, arms crossed over his chest and rolling his eyes fondly at his two oblivious friends.
Joey quirked an eyebrow when he noticed Kaiba observing him with an astounded expression. "What's with the fish face?" He straightened and strode over to his previous spot at Kaiba's right side. He heaved the brunet's numb arm over his shoulder and presented him with a teasing smile. "And here I thought I was the last one to know about those two..."
"But - I was - I thought... you and Devlin... " Seto let his voice trail off, all too aware of how foolish he sounded.
Joey laughed. "Not a chance! Dice-Boy's too high maintenance."
"I heard that."
"You did? Even with Tristan's tongue shoved in your ear?" Joey shook his head in mock wonder. "That's amazing." He leaned across Seto's back and gave the green-eyed boy a light shove. "Knock it off you two. We've still got a man down here, and no one's told me what the hell happened to Mokuba yet."
Tristan reluctantly pulled away from nibbling on Duke's neck and began rubbing a hand nervously through his hair. "Well, it's like this y'see; Mokuba wasn't the only one on the merry-go-round..."
"OK.. And...?" Joey prompted.
"Yugi and I both told him he should get off the damn thing! It's not my fault!" Tristan blurted, wringing his hands.
"Told who??!!" Duke asked, frustrated by Tristan's disjointed explanation. "Tris, you're not making any sense!"
"He said he just wanted to prove a point to Bakura; I thought he'd get off if he started feeling sick..."
"You DIDN'T!!" Joey was horrified. "You made Ryou puke??!!"
Duke gasped and clapped a hand over his mouth.
Tristan hung his head in shame. "It was horrible! Everything seemed fine at first; Mokuba was all laughing and egging me on; Yugi was cheering, and then all of a sudden chunks started flying everywhere..." His voice dropped to an awed whisper. "He never even made a sound." He looked up at them with pleading, hazel eyes. "The next thing I knew, Tea was screaming at me and Ryou was just lying there clutching his stomach and moaning... I think Yugi may have been in shock or something. But Mokuba, he thought it was the coolest thing EVER." Tristan shuddered. "He said it was a remarkable example of centipede - no, that's not it - " He scrunched his forehead in thought. "Central fungus - no..."
Seto made an exasperated noise. "Centrifugal force?"
The other brunet snapped his fingers and pointed at Seto. "Yes! That was it! He said he was impressed that Ryou had held out for so long, and gave HIM the fifty bucks!" Tristan seemed insulted by this. "Anyway, it all went downhill from there. Bakura took over and said he was going home to get the gun Ryou's dad had got him for his birthday and - "
"WHAT??!!" Seto screamed, lunging at the other boy again.
Restraining the furious Kaiba took a great deal of effort on both boys' parts but Duke and Joey managed to hold him back long enough for the blond to get through to him. "Calm down, Kaiba." He grasped the snarling CEO's chin and turned his head toward him. "Hey! Focus here, willya? Ryou got the Super Soaker Flash Flood for his birthday last month." He looked into the taller boy's uncomprehending eyes and smiled reassuringly. "It's a water gun."
Seto felt foolish yet again. "I see." He felt the tingling impressions of Joey's fingertips long after they were gone from his skin.
Tristan whipped his head back and forth between the two of them, assuring himself it was safe to continue. "So anyway, after he left we just messed around for a little while, hoping he'd cool off by the time he got back." He shrugged. "I guess we were all expecting Ryou to talk him down, but I think maybe HE was pretty pissed off too." He grunted in annoyance. "I don't know why; he got fifty bucks out of it." He took a look around him. "Hey, we should be getting back to the rest of the gang. Yugi sent me to get Joey for reinforcements, but I've been gone a good, long while now." He glanced behind himself fretfully.
Duke tapped his foot impatiently. "Is that IT? What happened after THAT? You haven't really explained anything other than the fact that you're a complete idiot!"
"Don't start in on me, Devlin. I'm not in the mood for your shit right now." Tristan grinned roguishly at the black-haired teen. "You can start in on me later when we're alone, deal?"
Seto was beginning to lose his temper. He was tired of being in pain, overwhelmed, embarrassed and constantly confused. Coupled with the strange sensations the mutt's proximity were causing, he was rapidly nearing the boiling point. "For the love of GOD, won't somebody just tell me where to find my brother?! I don't need ANY of this shit! I don't need your help, I don't want to hear any more about vomiting or Super Soakers, and I'm sick to DEATH of all of your disgusting flirting!" He panted heavily, fumbling to extricate himself from the two teenagers supporting him.
Joey instantly leaped forward to grab Kaiba's elbow before he could fall again. "Whoa there, Tex. I think you might need to sit down for minute or two and relax. Temper tantrums aren't really your style; maybe you're havin' some kind of reaction to those fire ant bites or somethin'." The blond reached a hand over to feel Seto's forehead. "Man Kaiba, I never would've pegged you as a homophobe or anythin' like that."
Seto smacked Joey's hand away and huffed indignantly. "I'm certainly NOT. In fact, I'm gay. I just don't think - " He blinked at the trio of stunned faces. "What? Oh give me a break. I was outed by the press YEARS ago. Where the hell have you morons been?" He frowned in irritation. "Look. As much as I detest having to explain myself to the likes of you three, I'm really NOT feeling like myself at the moment. Can we please just go and find my brother so I can ditch you losers and get back to my normal, sane life?"
A wry grin twisted Joey's face. "Well, at least he said please."
Tristan swept his arm in a grand gesture, indicating the path before him. "Ladies first. But let it be known I'm not going to be held responsible for what happens if Bakura finds you. That crazy tomb robber is on the warpath, and I'm running for the hills the second I lay eyes on him. You guys are on your own."
Joey angled a kick at his best friend's rear. "Whatever happened to "no man gets left behind", huh?"
The brunet held his arms apart in a guileless gesture, indicating his lack of blame. "Screw that. I'm using you guys as a decoy. Besides, you've got yourselves a serious liability with Mr. High and Mighty there. Bakura can smell blood a mile away." He saluted them. "It was nice knowing you."
Duke grumbled. "If he gets me, you are SO cut off..."
~~~~~~~~~~*****~~~~~~~~~~
The four of them continued on the main thoroughfare which led to the more centralized areas of the park, Tristan jumping skittishly at every noise that emanated from the tree-lined path. They took a left onto a somewhat overgrown trail that led to a secluded playground, Tristan taking point as the walkway narrowed. Their destination was one of the group's favourite spots in the entire park. Shady in the heat of the summer and frequently deserted, the remote playground contained some of Domino City Park's older equipment, including the merry-go-round. It was the perfect hangout for a gathering of teenagers; far away from noisy children and nosy adults. Unfortunately, it was also the perfect site for an ambush. And they all knew it.
As they neared the large clearing, Tristan indicated that they should slow their pace and approach with caution. He held up one hand, palm outward, and proceeded to mimic numerous gestures that Joey suspected his friend learned from watching too much television. None of them had any idea what he was trying to convey.
"Good grief, Tris, we're not IN a robot ninja movie! Just stick your head around the corner and - AAAAAAAAA!!" Joey screeched in fright as a hand shot out of the undergrowth and grabbed his ankle. The hand was soon followed by Mokuba's frowning face, one finger pressed urgently against his lips.
"SHHHHHH! He'll HEAR you!" The younger teen came out of hiding, covered in leaves, brush, and grass stains. "You guys sound like a herd of wounded bull elephants in heat." He gave them all a disparaging glare. "I managed to lose Bakura a ways back, but you dorks are gonna lead him right to me!" He took in Seto's current state, and his face purpled. "Hey! What'd you do to my brother!"
"It's alright Mokuba, I just had a run-in with some fire ants," Seto commented quietly. "Everything's fine. I just wanted to come find you before you started to worry." He smirked at his younger brother. "It seems that you've found your own helping of trouble, as well."
Mokuba beamed. "Yeah, it's great, isn't it? I'm having the BEST time!"
Duke snorted. "If being stalked by a psychotic, bloodthirsty spirit from ancient Egypt is your sick and twisted idea of fun." He leaned down and tousled Mokuba's already wild hair. "You are one spun cookie, kid." He then turned to face Seto and whined, "OK, we've found your brother and filled him in on the sitch. Can we make with our getaway now? These pants are leather. LEATHER. They don't like madmen with water guns."
"Guys look!" Tristan pointed across the clearing to the far side of the playground. "Over there! It's Tea and Yugi!"
The two teenagers had just emerged from behind a copse of trees near the sandbox. They were holding hands and looking a bit out of breath, but waved cheerfully when they spotted the other group. Even from a distance, Joey could tell the moment they had first noticed the rumpled CEO in their midst, his two friends were dying of curiosity. The pair hurried over, throwing caution to the wind in their haste to rejoin their friends. It was a costly mistake.
Joey watched the scene unfold as if in slow motion. As Tea and Yugi neared the halfway point of their scramble across the playground, Bakura stepped casually from behind a large tree. He placed himself directly in their path and aimed his oversized green blaster at chest level. The two teens pulled up short and gazed fearfully at the white-haired spirit. "Reach for the sky," he intoned solemnly.
Tea and Yugi unclasped their hands and held them up. Tea crinkled her face and closed her eyes tightly, already prepared for the worst.
"No sudden moves now. Keep those hands where I can see 'em, " Bakura warned.
Yugi leaned over and stage-whispered to Tea, "Quick! Wish him away to the cornfield!" Tea opened her eyes and peered over at her fellow hostage, perplexed. Yugi just goggled at her. "You've GOT to be kidding me! Hell - ooo!" He gazed heavenward, as though he were seeking assistance from above for his ignorant friend. "'The Twilight Zone?' Classic episode?" The girl only blinked at him. "Tea, do you even OWN a television?"
Bakura waved his water blaster menacingly. "That's enough of that, you two. Stay still." He cocked his head to the side and considered each of them in turn. "Now. Let's see... which one of you gets it first?" His dark expression transformed into a gleeful smile as he waggled the gun, switching his aim between the two petrified teens. "I know," he smirked. "Eeny, meeny, miney - "
"Mokuba!" Seto made a grab for his brother as the small boy darted out from safety.
"Over here, freak! See if you can hit a moving target!" Mokuba waved his arms and made a dash for tree cover.
It was just the distraction that Yugi needed. When Bakura shifted his attention to the younger Kaiba brother, Yugi made a grab for the barrel of the gun, tilting it up and away from him and Tea. Undeterred, Bakura's other hand shot out and released the valve on the Super Soaker's bottom reservoir. A high pressure stream of cold water struck Tea full in the chest. She gasped loudly and stood immobile for several seconds, staring down at her soaked clothing.
"Shit," Yugi groaned. "That seemed like such a good idea at the time." Tea turned her head in an unhurried arc to meet Yugi's worried stare. The smaller teen took one look at her face, swallowed hard, and promptly disappeared. A befuddled Yami was left in his place.
"Yugi? Aibou?" After receiving no reply, he released a put-upon sigh and glared at Bakura. "Tomb Robber. I should have known." Bakura made no reply other than to extend the middle finger of his left hand and present it to the pharaoh's scowling face.
Then Tea made her move. She lunged forward, wrenching the water gun out of Bakura's grasp and wrapping both her hands securely around the grip. She aimed it before her, slowly backing away from the two shocked boys.
Yami recovered first and cracked a smug smile. "We don't want any trouble, ma'am."
Bakura's eyes flitted down and back up to Tea's face. Then down again. A self-satisfied smirk appeared on his sharp features. "Nice rack you got there, Tea. They real?"
Tea sucked in a sharp breath. She hurriedly averted her eyes to sneak a quick glance down at her chest. Sure enough, the sleeveless white top she had donned this morning was rendered practically transparent by the soaking she had received. "Dammit Bakura!" Tea's face flushed a particularly vivid shade of crimson. She crossed her arms, desperately trying to hide what had been revealed to everyone's gaze. Sensing the danger was over for the moment, the group on the opposite side of the playground hurried over, dragging the hapless Kaiba along with them.
"Nice moves, Tea!" Mokuba shouted in appreciation. As he neared her position, his mouth dropped open, and he stumbled the last few steps. "Uh, great job, and uh... stuff."
Tea glowered. "I'm up HERE, Mokuba." She was about to give the thirteen year-old a tongue-lashing he'd never forget, when she noticed that everyone else had their eyes riveted to the same spot as Mokuba. Every. Single. One. "Hey guys, how about looking at my face, huh?" She waited a beat. "Hey! I'm talking to you!" No reply. "Guys!" Silence. She waved a hand in front of her chest and yelled, "Hey assholes!" Several heads snapped up at once. Tristan and Yami both looked sheepish, while Bakura and Duke each gave her a leer - Bakura actually went so far as to wink at her. Seto appeared indifferent to the situation in general while Joey and Mokuba however, were still staring. "You little perverts!" Tea poked a finger in Joey's chest to emphasize her point. "And YOU Joey Wheeler! You ought to be ashamed of yourself! Look at the example you're setting for Mokuba!"
Joey spluttered. "ME??!! I ain't the kid's role model or nothin'! Talk to Mr. Personality over here about that! He's the one that raised 'im!"
"The lady doth protest too much, methinks," Bakura scolded under his breath.
"You callin' me a lady, you big fruit?" Joey shoved his fist in the white-haired boy's face menacingly.
"I wasn't even referring to you, you loud-mouthed twit. But while we're on the subject - are those the first breasts you've ever laid eyes on in your pathetic life, Wheeler?"
"Why you - " Tristan grabbed the back of Joey's t-shirt to keep him from tackling Bakura, who side-stepped the blond's clumsy lunge, cackling madly. Duke was left supporting most of Seto's weight again, and the blue-eyed teen immediately missed the blond's comforting presence. "What the hell is happening to me?" he thought deliriously. "When exactly did I start losing my mind?"
"Looks like you need to cool off a bit, Joey," Tea snickered and took aim at the growling boy, drenching him with a stream of water. Unable to wriggle out of Tristan's grasp in time to dodge, Joey ended up thoroughly drenched from head to toe.
"Aw, crap! What'd you go and do that for?" Joey actually sounded betrayed, giving Tea a hurt look from under his dripping bangs.
"He looks like a drowned puppy," Seto's brain supplied helpfully. He took one look at his rival's miserable expression, and burst into laughter. Duke joined in immediately, the two of them doubling over and supporting each other for once. The rest of the gang simply stood aside and openly marvelled that Seto Kaiba was actually LAUGHING.
Tea was on a roll now. "Duke Devlin! You certainly have nothing to be laughing like a hyena about! If this thing weren't empty, you'd be getting a dose too!"
Tristan jumped to Duke's defense. "C'mon, Tea. They're just boobs."
"They're MY boobs and no one asked to see them! You just...GROPED them with your eyes, you sickos!"
"All we have to do is ASK?" mused Yami wonderingly.
"That's not what I meant and you know it!" she rounded on Tristan again. "Besides, I thought you only liked dick!" Tristan reddened and coughed into his fist.
Duke wiped at his eyes. "And here you thought we'd never have anything in common." He stood back up, pulling a more composed Kaiba along with him. "They're BOOBS, Sweetheart. We don't have 'em. Therefore, they are endlessly fascinating to us. It's a subject completely outside of sexual orientation. Trust me on this."
Seto fumbled around for his "voice of reason" hat, and set it firmly back on his head. "I'm not sure that this is appropriate conversation for Mokuba to be overhearing."
"Aw, Seto! I was trying to be quiet over here! Why'd you have to go and spoil it?" Mokuba grumped. "It was just getting interesting."
"Hi guys, what did I miss?" Ryou's smiling face appeared in their midst, and everyone groaned.
Joey shook the water from his head as best he could, then began wringing water from his shirt. "Look. All this is getting us absolutely nowhere. I still need to get Moneybags back to my place and do something about those bites, Tea needs to go home and get a dry shirt, and Ryou needs to find a good exorcist. How 'bout we formulate a plan here?"
Yami spoke up first. "Yugi says everyone's invited back to the game shop for movies and popcorn." He listened internally for a moment. "He says to tell Tea that yes, "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" will be part of the line-up."
"Big Brother! Can I go? Please?" Mokuba bounced up and down giddily. "I've never seen that one!"
Seto sighed and looked down at his brother. "Not this time Mokuba. At the moment, I don't have any way of getting you there and back home again."
Mokuba opened his mouth to protest, but closed it again with a snap. He considered his options for a moment, then turned pleading blue-grey eyes up at the older teens.
Duke was the first to crack. He glanced over at Joey and asked, "Hey Joe, you think you can handle Kaiba on your own?" The blond eyed Kaiba warily before nodding in reply. The green-eyed teen continued, warming to his audience, "How about this, then? The rest of you guys follow me back to my car and I'll drop Tea by her house for some dry threads. Then, we'll go on to Yugi's. I can run Mokuba over to the game shop and back home later when we're done." He casually waved one hand indicating both Joey and Seto. "You two just give us a ring when you've got Bug Bait here all patched up, and I can come pick you up, too. See? It all works out." He seemed inordinately pleased with himself. "I told you I was a genius."
Mokuba nodded his agreement. "So can I? PLEASE?"
"Fine. But your regular curfew is still in effect, got it?"
"Sure Seto! One A.M. it is!"
Seto was about to give his assent, then caught himself just in time. "It's MIDNIGHT, Mokuba. Nice try."
The younger Kaiba grinned innocently and hugged his sibling around the waist. "You're the best, Big Brother."
Joey gave up on his soggy shirt and clapped his hands together briskly, "Alright people, daylight's a-wastin'. Let's get this show on the road." He spun around to face Duke. "OK. Hand 'im over."
"I'm standing right here, Mutt," Seto grouched. "Stop talking about me like I'm an accessory."
"More like luggage," Joey muttered sourly. Kaiba wrapped his arm around the smaller boy's shoulder and moved to lean against him. He suddenly yelped and pulled back, nearly losing his balance.
"What?" Joey seemed puzzled. "I don't bite!"
Seto flushed, his imagination already in overdrive. "You're cold and wet." He thought about what he had just said, and smirked. "And here I thought that was just supposed to be your nose." Dog insults were a safe refuge for the CEO, and he was already starting to feel like he was back in safe territory. Then the unthinkable happened.
Joey rolled his eyes and tugged at his shirt irritably. He didn't really feel like standing around and waiting for it to dry, and now that he noticed it, he WAS pretty cold. "Fine." He grasped the hem of the t-shirt and pulled it off over his head in one smooth movement. "Happy now? You're barefoot and I'm topless. What a pair." He blinked and grinned slyly. "You too, Tea."
Tea screeched and flung the empty Super Soaker at him. Things were almost back to normal. Almost.
Seto had started to protest when he saw that Wheeler intended to remove his shirt, but it had all happened so quickly that he couldn't get the words out in time. "Or maybe I'm not really the one in charge here," he thought ominously as his groin began to show renewed interest in the proceedings. His eyes roved over all the visible flesh and he felt his skin break out into a light sheen of sweat. He was certain his IQ was dropping lower the longer he continued to be mesmerized by all the white Joey-skin on display. The thought of being pressed up against all that naked flesh made him want to hyperventilate. Too soon, the blond's arm was around him, and Seto could literally hear his own heart hammering in his chest as their skin made contact. The warmth emanating from the smaller boy was causing his legs to tremble, and the temptation to simply toss Joey to the ground and touch him EVERYWHERE was beginning to make his head spin crazily. He felt weightless; that earlier, slightly insane, exhilarated sensation was returning and his control was slipping fast. Skating his gaze away from the half naked blond, he settled a weak smirk on his face and swallowed thickly. "Ready when you are."
"Alright guys, hopefully I'll catch up with you later. Y'know, after I dispose of the body and all." Joey sent Kaiba a sunny smile.
Duke gave him a thumbs-up gesture. "I'm your alibi, man." He turned to head in the opposite direction, swinging one arm back to smack Seto soundly on the ass.
That was the last straw. "GOD DAMMIT!!" Kaiba hurled himself at the green-eyed boy, taking exactly half a step before his injured feet protested by refusing to co-operate. He hissed in pain and fell to his knees with a jarring thud. Unable to face the astounded expressions, he toppled the rest of the way to the ground and angrily pounded the earth with his fist. "Am I fucking cursed today or WHAT?!"
All eyes were riveted on him, and he immediately regretted his outburst. Gazing up into the concerned face of his younger brother, he attempted to scrape together the last shreds of his dignity. "It's a valid question."
Yami smirked. "I'd call it karmic retribution." He extended a hand to his rival and pulled the billionaire swiftly to his feet. Handing Seto back over to Joey's care, the spirit looked thoughtful. "Everyone has a shitty day now and then Kaiba, and I'd say you were MORE than overdue." He tilted one finely arched eyebrow. "Maybe you should try looking for the silver lining."
Temporarily mesmerised by Yami's words, Seto didn't immediately notice that the rest of the group had moved off, leaving him alone with Joey. He surveyed his reluctant companion, contemplating the pharaoh's parting statement. The blond cocked his head at the taller boy's appraising stare.
"Stop lookin' at me like I'm the dessert tray. You're creepin' me out."
Seto sighed deeply. "Come on mutt... let's get this over with."
Joey shrugged and set off back down the trail, a limping Kaiba draped awkwardly over his bare shoulders. If it occurred to him that the other boy was pressing a little closer than was strictly necessary, he didn't mention it.
~~~~~~~~~~*****~~~~~~~~~~
tbc
* In vino veritas - Latin for "The truth is in the wine" or "In wine, truth."
Converting /tmp/phprKWzJ2 to /dev/stdout
Author: WhosJeebus
Rating: NC-17 (Sorry ladies, this chapter is tame)
Pairing(s): Seto/Joey, hints of Tristan/Duke, small insinuations of Tea/Yugi - maybe more. I said MAYBE. Step off.
Beta: Jennie B. (She's bigger than Jesus now!)
Spoilers: None (unless Seto and Joey actually DO start getting it on in the anime series, in which case I will stop writing fanfiction and get Tivo)
Disclaimer: Are you serious? Oh, OK. I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, I just twist it around and use it for my own perverted satisfaction. Don't look at me like that. I'm not the only one. You're reading this, after all.
Summary: Joey Wheeler has no shortage of reasons to hate the season of flowers, butterflies, and rebirth. Can someone unexpected give him a reason to enjoy it as well?
A/N: Sorry to disappoint my loyal reviewers (you know who you are!), but the individual thank-you's are going to have to wait until next time! I've been called out of town unexpectedly by a family emergency, and had to cut this short. I figured, in lieu of thanks, you guys would appreciate the next update rather than having to wait for me to get back. I hope you enjoy it and thanks again! - CJ 04/25/05
~~~~~~~~~~*****~~~~~~~~~~
WHEN WE LAST LEFT OUR HEROES...
Seto straightened his shoulders and allowed the blond to slip an arm back around him. It felt warm and comforting, but he resisted the urge to snuggle closer. As they continued their slow trek, he let his thoughts drift a bit as he mused on the day's strange occurrences. He couldn't help but wonder what else this innocuous-seeming Spring day held in store for him. The gates of Domino City Park appeared around the corner, and Seto froze in his tracks, Duke and Joey coming to a stop alongside him.
"Devlin?"
"Yeah, Kaiba?"
"Get your hand off my ass."
~~~~~~~~~~*****~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 5:
The three teenagers made their slow, deliberate way through the park while Joey regaled them with the tale of "The Fateful, Boot-Drenching Sneeze". Seto was surprised to learn that Joey was a gifted story-teller, despite his embellishments. He suppressed a grin. Or perhaps it was because of them. Regardless of the fact that he was still inwardly fuming over the incident, he found the other boy's version of the events amusing. He was also finding it increasingly difficult to stifle his laughter. He tried to mask his dilemma by focusing on defending himself from Devlin's roving hands. It had taken several more particularly dire threats to convince Duke to keep his hands to himself, but the result was only temporary - well, as far as he was concerned, anyway. The black-haired teen soon sought out more tolerant prey. Seto ground his teeth together. He was NOT jealous. The very notion was ridiculous.
"Ow!" Joey rubbed his backside as he glared over at Duke. Seemingly oblivious, the other teen stared at his fingernails with interest. "Stop pinchin' me, or I swear to God I'll tell Tris what you said about his dick."
Duke inhaled sharply and froze, bringing the other two boys to a lurching stop. "You wouldn't DARE!"
"Oh yeah? Try me."
Duke's tone turned pleading. "C'mon Joey! You know I was totally wasted when I said that!"
"In vino veritas*..." Seto murmured to himself.
Joey gawked. "Holy shit! I think Moneybags here just made a joke!"
Now it was Seto's turn to gawk. He was taken aback by the fact that not only had the mutt understood the reference, but that he had interpreted it correctly. The realization left him momentarily flustered. It seemed that the more time he spent around Joey Wheeler, the more his assumptions about the blond were challenged. He struggled to make his voice as brusque as possible and said, "I'm sorry. I didn't realize I had inadvertently lapsed into canine. I thought I was speaking Latin."
Joey opened his mouth, intending to let loose with both barrels, but an hysterical Duke interrupted him, "I don't care if he moonlights as a fucking stand-up comedian! I was drunk and what I said was taken completely out of context! Do you hear me? Out - of - context!" he panted, wild-eyed and out of breath. "Joseph Wheeler, if you have even the tiniest SPECK of a soul, you will never in a million years tell Tristan - "
"Tell me what?"
Duke shrieked and vaulted a good three feet in the air as a heavy hand came down on his shoulder. Bewildered by Duke's strange reaction, Tristan stumbled backwards, landing on his rear in the middle of the path. With his weight no longer supported on the left side, Seto found himself unable to get his feet under him in time. He fell to the ground with a muffled curse, Joey sprawled on top of him. The smaller boy levered himself up on his hands and looked down into Seto's face anxiously. "Oh man, are you OK?" He worriedly scanned the brunet's face, looking for signs of further injury. Suddenly, he became aware of something pressing against his leg... "Uh, Kaiba?"
Seto abruptly ceased any and all movements. He swallowed hard. "It's my cell phone."
"But you said your cell phone's in the limo and - "
Without thinking, Kaiba roughly shoved Joey off his chest. The blond let out a startled "Oomph!" and rolled over in the dust to land on his back. He quickly regained his feet and glared at Kaiba from under a wrinkled brow. He swiped half-heartedly at the dirt and debris on his clothing, never taking his eyes off the other boy who still lay on the ground. If Seto hadn't automatically believed he was imagining it, he would have said that Joey's feelings had been hurt. He shrugged off such laughable notions, and cautiously stood up under his own power. Duke, apparently recovered from his fright, eased his shoulder under Seto's left arm again, smiling apologetically up at the disgruntled CEO. He then whirled on Tristan and scolded, "Don't be sneaking up on me like that!"
Tristan made a face. "I wasn't sneaking. You're just so enchanted with the sound of your own voice that you didn't hear me." He wrapped his arm around Joey's neck. "Hey pal, I was just coming to look for you." He glanced over at the other two teens. "Looks like you picked up some baggage on your way back."
Duke bristled. "Hey - !"
Seto rolled his eyes. "He was referring to ME, you nitwit."
"Yeah, well THAT," Joey inclined his head in their general direction, "is a long story involvin' Twinkies, fire ants, tree sap, and uh, lost cell phones..." He sighed. "We're basically trying to track down Mokuba and get Kaiba here back to my place for a little first aid. You seen the kid recently?"
"Yeah, I saw him just a few minutes ago. He's probably moved on to a better hiding spot by now, though." Tristan took a step backwards as Seto growled and made a sudden move in his direction. "Hey, take it easy big guy. He wasn't hiding from ME."
Kaiba clenched his fists and glared at each of them in turn. "I want an explanation and I want it NOW. Where is my brother and why is he hiding?"
Joey waved his hand at the brunet dismissively. "Ignore him. He's havin' his Monday on a Saturday this week. Didja ever get your fifty bucks outta the little punk?"
Tristan looked peeved. "No. That's how this whole mess got started. I must've spun that merry-go-round fast enough to break the sound barrier, but I didn't even get him dizzy, much less make him toss his cookies. That kid's just not human." He reached over and whapped Kaiba on the back solidly. "You should be proud of that kid brother of yours, Kaiba. He's got one hell of a strong stomach."
"Pfff, I could've told you THAT," Joey interjected. "He wins every round of "What Will YOU Eat for a Dollar?" That kid's gonna be rich in his own right some day if he keeps it up."
At first, Seto was appalled at the conversation he was overhearing regarding his brother. It slowly dawned on him that both boys were speaking of his younger sibling in terms of fondness and affection. It seemed surreal to realize that others actively sought out Mokuba's companionship and, that his brother had obviously been cultivating friendships with Seto's rivals for some time. His stomach clenched as it occurred to him that he may be guilty of many of the same crimes as his stepfather, Gozaburo. Seto kept Mokuba close to him at all times, and treated him as a peer, an equal; not as a family member. Mokuba was his constant shadow, always at his side for corporate mergers, business dinners, board meetings. When did he ever get the chance to be a thirteen year-old boy? "Oh God, " he thought despairingly, "He's going to turn out just like me." With the unrelenting force of a crashing wave, Seto was nearly brought to his knees by one simple fact striking home in his brain: It wasn't that Seto was the only person who cared for Mokuba - it seemed that Mokuba was the only one who cared about HIM. He kept control of his runaway emotions by the barest of margins, and at that very moment, he wanted nothing more than to be back under the oak tree, dreaming uninterrupted and shutting out his bitter reality. Seto Kaiba was no stranger to adversity however, and his well-honed iron control would see him through these strange times. He was certain of it.
The other teens seemed oblivious to the epiphany occurring in their midst with the exception of Joey, who kept sneaking quick glances at the tall brunet, wondering what was going on in that brilliant head. For a moment, Kaiba's usually stern face had been contorted with such a heartbreaking blend of amazement and grief, it had taken all of Joey's willpower not to go over and wrap the other boy in a comforting hug. "Hug Kaiba?" He mentally smacked himself. "Where'd THAT thought come from?" He gave himself a good, firm shake before turning his attention back to the matter at hand. "OK. If Mokuba's off hidin' somewhere, let's just go track him down. Shouldn't be too difficult, right?"
"It's not that simple anymore." Tristan looked worried.
Duke rounded on his boyfriend, "Shit Tristan! What did you DO?"
Tristan flung his arms up in exasperation. "Why do you automatically assume it was me?"
"Because I KNOW you!"
The two boys were nose to nose, their heated exchange sure to escalate into blows at any second. Kaiba instinctively began to reprimand them, "You two need to - " He cut off in mid-sentence when the two teens collided in a passionate kiss, Tristan wrapping his arms around Duke's neck and moaning loudly. " - get a room," he finished, now thoroughly bewildered. From his uncomfortably close vantage point, he could easily tell that both Taylor and Devlin were willing participants in the exchange; there was an embarrassing amount of tongue involved, and Seto felt himself flush scarlet at the observation. He tried to pull his gaze away, but areas south of his brain were still attempting to run the show independent of rational thought. Forcibly jerking his head away from the captivating scene, he turned to look at Joey, expecting the blond to be apoplectic with rage. Instead, he found the other boy leaning casually against a lamp post, arms crossed over his chest and rolling his eyes fondly at his two oblivious friends.
Joey quirked an eyebrow when he noticed Kaiba observing him with an astounded expression. "What's with the fish face?" He straightened and strode over to his previous spot at Kaiba's right side. He heaved the brunet's numb arm over his shoulder and presented him with a teasing smile. "And here I thought I was the last one to know about those two..."
"But - I was - I thought... you and Devlin... " Seto let his voice trail off, all too aware of how foolish he sounded.
Joey laughed. "Not a chance! Dice-Boy's too high maintenance."
"I heard that."
"You did? Even with Tristan's tongue shoved in your ear?" Joey shook his head in mock wonder. "That's amazing." He leaned across Seto's back and gave the green-eyed boy a light shove. "Knock it off you two. We've still got a man down here, and no one's told me what the hell happened to Mokuba yet."
Tristan reluctantly pulled away from nibbling on Duke's neck and began rubbing a hand nervously through his hair. "Well, it's like this y'see; Mokuba wasn't the only one on the merry-go-round..."
"OK.. And...?" Joey prompted.
"Yugi and I both told him he should get off the damn thing! It's not my fault!" Tristan blurted, wringing his hands.
"Told who??!!" Duke asked, frustrated by Tristan's disjointed explanation. "Tris, you're not making any sense!"
"He said he just wanted to prove a point to Bakura; I thought he'd get off if he started feeling sick..."
"You DIDN'T!!" Joey was horrified. "You made Ryou puke??!!"
Duke gasped and clapped a hand over his mouth.
Tristan hung his head in shame. "It was horrible! Everything seemed fine at first; Mokuba was all laughing and egging me on; Yugi was cheering, and then all of a sudden chunks started flying everywhere..." His voice dropped to an awed whisper. "He never even made a sound." He looked up at them with pleading, hazel eyes. "The next thing I knew, Tea was screaming at me and Ryou was just lying there clutching his stomach and moaning... I think Yugi may have been in shock or something. But Mokuba, he thought it was the coolest thing EVER." Tristan shuddered. "He said it was a remarkable example of centipede - no, that's not it - " He scrunched his forehead in thought. "Central fungus - no..."
Seto made an exasperated noise. "Centrifugal force?"
The other brunet snapped his fingers and pointed at Seto. "Yes! That was it! He said he was impressed that Ryou had held out for so long, and gave HIM the fifty bucks!" Tristan seemed insulted by this. "Anyway, it all went downhill from there. Bakura took over and said he was going home to get the gun Ryou's dad had got him for his birthday and - "
"WHAT??!!" Seto screamed, lunging at the other boy again.
Restraining the furious Kaiba took a great deal of effort on both boys' parts but Duke and Joey managed to hold him back long enough for the blond to get through to him. "Calm down, Kaiba." He grasped the snarling CEO's chin and turned his head toward him. "Hey! Focus here, willya? Ryou got the Super Soaker Flash Flood for his birthday last month." He looked into the taller boy's uncomprehending eyes and smiled reassuringly. "It's a water gun."
Seto felt foolish yet again. "I see." He felt the tingling impressions of Joey's fingertips long after they were gone from his skin.
Tristan whipped his head back and forth between the two of them, assuring himself it was safe to continue. "So anyway, after he left we just messed around for a little while, hoping he'd cool off by the time he got back." He shrugged. "I guess we were all expecting Ryou to talk him down, but I think maybe HE was pretty pissed off too." He grunted in annoyance. "I don't know why; he got fifty bucks out of it." He took a look around him. "Hey, we should be getting back to the rest of the gang. Yugi sent me to get Joey for reinforcements, but I've been gone a good, long while now." He glanced behind himself fretfully.
Duke tapped his foot impatiently. "Is that IT? What happened after THAT? You haven't really explained anything other than the fact that you're a complete idiot!"
"Don't start in on me, Devlin. I'm not in the mood for your shit right now." Tristan grinned roguishly at the black-haired teen. "You can start in on me later when we're alone, deal?"
Seto was beginning to lose his temper. He was tired of being in pain, overwhelmed, embarrassed and constantly confused. Coupled with the strange sensations the mutt's proximity were causing, he was rapidly nearing the boiling point. "For the love of GOD, won't somebody just tell me where to find my brother?! I don't need ANY of this shit! I don't need your help, I don't want to hear any more about vomiting or Super Soakers, and I'm sick to DEATH of all of your disgusting flirting!" He panted heavily, fumbling to extricate himself from the two teenagers supporting him.
Joey instantly leaped forward to grab Kaiba's elbow before he could fall again. "Whoa there, Tex. I think you might need to sit down for minute or two and relax. Temper tantrums aren't really your style; maybe you're havin' some kind of reaction to those fire ant bites or somethin'." The blond reached a hand over to feel Seto's forehead. "Man Kaiba, I never would've pegged you as a homophobe or anythin' like that."
Seto smacked Joey's hand away and huffed indignantly. "I'm certainly NOT. In fact, I'm gay. I just don't think - " He blinked at the trio of stunned faces. "What? Oh give me a break. I was outed by the press YEARS ago. Where the hell have you morons been?" He frowned in irritation. "Look. As much as I detest having to explain myself to the likes of you three, I'm really NOT feeling like myself at the moment. Can we please just go and find my brother so I can ditch you losers and get back to my normal, sane life?"
A wry grin twisted Joey's face. "Well, at least he said please."
Tristan swept his arm in a grand gesture, indicating the path before him. "Ladies first. But let it be known I'm not going to be held responsible for what happens if Bakura finds you. That crazy tomb robber is on the warpath, and I'm running for the hills the second I lay eyes on him. You guys are on your own."
Joey angled a kick at his best friend's rear. "Whatever happened to "no man gets left behind", huh?"
The brunet held his arms apart in a guileless gesture, indicating his lack of blame. "Screw that. I'm using you guys as a decoy. Besides, you've got yourselves a serious liability with Mr. High and Mighty there. Bakura can smell blood a mile away." He saluted them. "It was nice knowing you."
Duke grumbled. "If he gets me, you are SO cut off..."
~~~~~~~~~~*****~~~~~~~~~~
The four of them continued on the main thoroughfare which led to the more centralized areas of the park, Tristan jumping skittishly at every noise that emanated from the tree-lined path. They took a left onto a somewhat overgrown trail that led to a secluded playground, Tristan taking point as the walkway narrowed. Their destination was one of the group's favourite spots in the entire park. Shady in the heat of the summer and frequently deserted, the remote playground contained some of Domino City Park's older equipment, including the merry-go-round. It was the perfect hangout for a gathering of teenagers; far away from noisy children and nosy adults. Unfortunately, it was also the perfect site for an ambush. And they all knew it.
As they neared the large clearing, Tristan indicated that they should slow their pace and approach with caution. He held up one hand, palm outward, and proceeded to mimic numerous gestures that Joey suspected his friend learned from watching too much television. None of them had any idea what he was trying to convey.
"Good grief, Tris, we're not IN a robot ninja movie! Just stick your head around the corner and - AAAAAAAAA!!" Joey screeched in fright as a hand shot out of the undergrowth and grabbed his ankle. The hand was soon followed by Mokuba's frowning face, one finger pressed urgently against his lips.
"SHHHHHH! He'll HEAR you!" The younger teen came out of hiding, covered in leaves, brush, and grass stains. "You guys sound like a herd of wounded bull elephants in heat." He gave them all a disparaging glare. "I managed to lose Bakura a ways back, but you dorks are gonna lead him right to me!" He took in Seto's current state, and his face purpled. "Hey! What'd you do to my brother!"
"It's alright Mokuba, I just had a run-in with some fire ants," Seto commented quietly. "Everything's fine. I just wanted to come find you before you started to worry." He smirked at his younger brother. "It seems that you've found your own helping of trouble, as well."
Mokuba beamed. "Yeah, it's great, isn't it? I'm having the BEST time!"
Duke snorted. "If being stalked by a psychotic, bloodthirsty spirit from ancient Egypt is your sick and twisted idea of fun." He leaned down and tousled Mokuba's already wild hair. "You are one spun cookie, kid." He then turned to face Seto and whined, "OK, we've found your brother and filled him in on the sitch. Can we make with our getaway now? These pants are leather. LEATHER. They don't like madmen with water guns."
"Guys look!" Tristan pointed across the clearing to the far side of the playground. "Over there! It's Tea and Yugi!"
The two teenagers had just emerged from behind a copse of trees near the sandbox. They were holding hands and looking a bit out of breath, but waved cheerfully when they spotted the other group. Even from a distance, Joey could tell the moment they had first noticed the rumpled CEO in their midst, his two friends were dying of curiosity. The pair hurried over, throwing caution to the wind in their haste to rejoin their friends. It was a costly mistake.
Joey watched the scene unfold as if in slow motion. As Tea and Yugi neared the halfway point of their scramble across the playground, Bakura stepped casually from behind a large tree. He placed himself directly in their path and aimed his oversized green blaster at chest level. The two teens pulled up short and gazed fearfully at the white-haired spirit. "Reach for the sky," he intoned solemnly.
Tea and Yugi unclasped their hands and held them up. Tea crinkled her face and closed her eyes tightly, already prepared for the worst.
"No sudden moves now. Keep those hands where I can see 'em, " Bakura warned.
Yugi leaned over and stage-whispered to Tea, "Quick! Wish him away to the cornfield!" Tea opened her eyes and peered over at her fellow hostage, perplexed. Yugi just goggled at her. "You've GOT to be kidding me! Hell - ooo!" He gazed heavenward, as though he were seeking assistance from above for his ignorant friend. "'The Twilight Zone?' Classic episode?" The girl only blinked at him. "Tea, do you even OWN a television?"
Bakura waved his water blaster menacingly. "That's enough of that, you two. Stay still." He cocked his head to the side and considered each of them in turn. "Now. Let's see... which one of you gets it first?" His dark expression transformed into a gleeful smile as he waggled the gun, switching his aim between the two petrified teens. "I know," he smirked. "Eeny, meeny, miney - "
"Mokuba!" Seto made a grab for his brother as the small boy darted out from safety.
"Over here, freak! See if you can hit a moving target!" Mokuba waved his arms and made a dash for tree cover.
It was just the distraction that Yugi needed. When Bakura shifted his attention to the younger Kaiba brother, Yugi made a grab for the barrel of the gun, tilting it up and away from him and Tea. Undeterred, Bakura's other hand shot out and released the valve on the Super Soaker's bottom reservoir. A high pressure stream of cold water struck Tea full in the chest. She gasped loudly and stood immobile for several seconds, staring down at her soaked clothing.
"Shit," Yugi groaned. "That seemed like such a good idea at the time." Tea turned her head in an unhurried arc to meet Yugi's worried stare. The smaller teen took one look at her face, swallowed hard, and promptly disappeared. A befuddled Yami was left in his place.
"Yugi? Aibou?" After receiving no reply, he released a put-upon sigh and glared at Bakura. "Tomb Robber. I should have known." Bakura made no reply other than to extend the middle finger of his left hand and present it to the pharaoh's scowling face.
Then Tea made her move. She lunged forward, wrenching the water gun out of Bakura's grasp and wrapping both her hands securely around the grip. She aimed it before her, slowly backing away from the two shocked boys.
Yami recovered first and cracked a smug smile. "We don't want any trouble, ma'am."
Bakura's eyes flitted down and back up to Tea's face. Then down again. A self-satisfied smirk appeared on his sharp features. "Nice rack you got there, Tea. They real?"
Tea sucked in a sharp breath. She hurriedly averted her eyes to sneak a quick glance down at her chest. Sure enough, the sleeveless white top she had donned this morning was rendered practically transparent by the soaking she had received. "Dammit Bakura!" Tea's face flushed a particularly vivid shade of crimson. She crossed her arms, desperately trying to hide what had been revealed to everyone's gaze. Sensing the danger was over for the moment, the group on the opposite side of the playground hurried over, dragging the hapless Kaiba along with them.
"Nice moves, Tea!" Mokuba shouted in appreciation. As he neared her position, his mouth dropped open, and he stumbled the last few steps. "Uh, great job, and uh... stuff."
Tea glowered. "I'm up HERE, Mokuba." She was about to give the thirteen year-old a tongue-lashing he'd never forget, when she noticed that everyone else had their eyes riveted to the same spot as Mokuba. Every. Single. One. "Hey guys, how about looking at my face, huh?" She waited a beat. "Hey! I'm talking to you!" No reply. "Guys!" Silence. She waved a hand in front of her chest and yelled, "Hey assholes!" Several heads snapped up at once. Tristan and Yami both looked sheepish, while Bakura and Duke each gave her a leer - Bakura actually went so far as to wink at her. Seto appeared indifferent to the situation in general while Joey and Mokuba however, were still staring. "You little perverts!" Tea poked a finger in Joey's chest to emphasize her point. "And YOU Joey Wheeler! You ought to be ashamed of yourself! Look at the example you're setting for Mokuba!"
Joey spluttered. "ME??!! I ain't the kid's role model or nothin'! Talk to Mr. Personality over here about that! He's the one that raised 'im!"
"The lady doth protest too much, methinks," Bakura scolded under his breath.
"You callin' me a lady, you big fruit?" Joey shoved his fist in the white-haired boy's face menacingly.
"I wasn't even referring to you, you loud-mouthed twit. But while we're on the subject - are those the first breasts you've ever laid eyes on in your pathetic life, Wheeler?"
"Why you - " Tristan grabbed the back of Joey's t-shirt to keep him from tackling Bakura, who side-stepped the blond's clumsy lunge, cackling madly. Duke was left supporting most of Seto's weight again, and the blue-eyed teen immediately missed the blond's comforting presence. "What the hell is happening to me?" he thought deliriously. "When exactly did I start losing my mind?"
"Looks like you need to cool off a bit, Joey," Tea snickered and took aim at the growling boy, drenching him with a stream of water. Unable to wriggle out of Tristan's grasp in time to dodge, Joey ended up thoroughly drenched from head to toe.
"Aw, crap! What'd you go and do that for?" Joey actually sounded betrayed, giving Tea a hurt look from under his dripping bangs.
"He looks like a drowned puppy," Seto's brain supplied helpfully. He took one look at his rival's miserable expression, and burst into laughter. Duke joined in immediately, the two of them doubling over and supporting each other for once. The rest of the gang simply stood aside and openly marvelled that Seto Kaiba was actually LAUGHING.
Tea was on a roll now. "Duke Devlin! You certainly have nothing to be laughing like a hyena about! If this thing weren't empty, you'd be getting a dose too!"
Tristan jumped to Duke's defense. "C'mon, Tea. They're just boobs."
"They're MY boobs and no one asked to see them! You just...GROPED them with your eyes, you sickos!"
"All we have to do is ASK?" mused Yami wonderingly.
"That's not what I meant and you know it!" she rounded on Tristan again. "Besides, I thought you only liked dick!" Tristan reddened and coughed into his fist.
Duke wiped at his eyes. "And here you thought we'd never have anything in common." He stood back up, pulling a more composed Kaiba along with him. "They're BOOBS, Sweetheart. We don't have 'em. Therefore, they are endlessly fascinating to us. It's a subject completely outside of sexual orientation. Trust me on this."
Seto fumbled around for his "voice of reason" hat, and set it firmly back on his head. "I'm not sure that this is appropriate conversation for Mokuba to be overhearing."
"Aw, Seto! I was trying to be quiet over here! Why'd you have to go and spoil it?" Mokuba grumped. "It was just getting interesting."
"Hi guys, what did I miss?" Ryou's smiling face appeared in their midst, and everyone groaned.
Joey shook the water from his head as best he could, then began wringing water from his shirt. "Look. All this is getting us absolutely nowhere. I still need to get Moneybags back to my place and do something about those bites, Tea needs to go home and get a dry shirt, and Ryou needs to find a good exorcist. How 'bout we formulate a plan here?"
Yami spoke up first. "Yugi says everyone's invited back to the game shop for movies and popcorn." He listened internally for a moment. "He says to tell Tea that yes, "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" will be part of the line-up."
"Big Brother! Can I go? Please?" Mokuba bounced up and down giddily. "I've never seen that one!"
Seto sighed and looked down at his brother. "Not this time Mokuba. At the moment, I don't have any way of getting you there and back home again."
Mokuba opened his mouth to protest, but closed it again with a snap. He considered his options for a moment, then turned pleading blue-grey eyes up at the older teens.
Duke was the first to crack. He glanced over at Joey and asked, "Hey Joe, you think you can handle Kaiba on your own?" The blond eyed Kaiba warily before nodding in reply. The green-eyed teen continued, warming to his audience, "How about this, then? The rest of you guys follow me back to my car and I'll drop Tea by her house for some dry threads. Then, we'll go on to Yugi's. I can run Mokuba over to the game shop and back home later when we're done." He casually waved one hand indicating both Joey and Seto. "You two just give us a ring when you've got Bug Bait here all patched up, and I can come pick you up, too. See? It all works out." He seemed inordinately pleased with himself. "I told you I was a genius."
Mokuba nodded his agreement. "So can I? PLEASE?"
"Fine. But your regular curfew is still in effect, got it?"
"Sure Seto! One A.M. it is!"
Seto was about to give his assent, then caught himself just in time. "It's MIDNIGHT, Mokuba. Nice try."
The younger Kaiba grinned innocently and hugged his sibling around the waist. "You're the best, Big Brother."
Joey gave up on his soggy shirt and clapped his hands together briskly, "Alright people, daylight's a-wastin'. Let's get this show on the road." He spun around to face Duke. "OK. Hand 'im over."
"I'm standing right here, Mutt," Seto grouched. "Stop talking about me like I'm an accessory."
"More like luggage," Joey muttered sourly. Kaiba wrapped his arm around the smaller boy's shoulder and moved to lean against him. He suddenly yelped and pulled back, nearly losing his balance.
"What?" Joey seemed puzzled. "I don't bite!"
Seto flushed, his imagination already in overdrive. "You're cold and wet." He thought about what he had just said, and smirked. "And here I thought that was just supposed to be your nose." Dog insults were a safe refuge for the CEO, and he was already starting to feel like he was back in safe territory. Then the unthinkable happened.
Joey rolled his eyes and tugged at his shirt irritably. He didn't really feel like standing around and waiting for it to dry, and now that he noticed it, he WAS pretty cold. "Fine." He grasped the hem of the t-shirt and pulled it off over his head in one smooth movement. "Happy now? You're barefoot and I'm topless. What a pair." He blinked and grinned slyly. "You too, Tea."
Tea screeched and flung the empty Super Soaker at him. Things were almost back to normal. Almost.
Seto had started to protest when he saw that Wheeler intended to remove his shirt, but it had all happened so quickly that he couldn't get the words out in time. "Or maybe I'm not really the one in charge here," he thought ominously as his groin began to show renewed interest in the proceedings. His eyes roved over all the visible flesh and he felt his skin break out into a light sheen of sweat. He was certain his IQ was dropping lower the longer he continued to be mesmerized by all the white Joey-skin on display. The thought of being pressed up against all that naked flesh made him want to hyperventilate. Too soon, the blond's arm was around him, and Seto could literally hear his own heart hammering in his chest as their skin made contact. The warmth emanating from the smaller boy was causing his legs to tremble, and the temptation to simply toss Joey to the ground and touch him EVERYWHERE was beginning to make his head spin crazily. He felt weightless; that earlier, slightly insane, exhilarated sensation was returning and his control was slipping fast. Skating his gaze away from the half naked blond, he settled a weak smirk on his face and swallowed thickly. "Ready when you are."
"Alright guys, hopefully I'll catch up with you later. Y'know, after I dispose of the body and all." Joey sent Kaiba a sunny smile.
Duke gave him a thumbs-up gesture. "I'm your alibi, man." He turned to head in the opposite direction, swinging one arm back to smack Seto soundly on the ass.
That was the last straw. "GOD DAMMIT!!" Kaiba hurled himself at the green-eyed boy, taking exactly half a step before his injured feet protested by refusing to co-operate. He hissed in pain and fell to his knees with a jarring thud. Unable to face the astounded expressions, he toppled the rest of the way to the ground and angrily pounded the earth with his fist. "Am I fucking cursed today or WHAT?!"
All eyes were riveted on him, and he immediately regretted his outburst. Gazing up into the concerned face of his younger brother, he attempted to scrape together the last shreds of his dignity. "It's a valid question."
Yami smirked. "I'd call it karmic retribution." He extended a hand to his rival and pulled the billionaire swiftly to his feet. Handing Seto back over to Joey's care, the spirit looked thoughtful. "Everyone has a shitty day now and then Kaiba, and I'd say you were MORE than overdue." He tilted one finely arched eyebrow. "Maybe you should try looking for the silver lining."
Temporarily mesmerised by Yami's words, Seto didn't immediately notice that the rest of the group had moved off, leaving him alone with Joey. He surveyed his reluctant companion, contemplating the pharaoh's parting statement. The blond cocked his head at the taller boy's appraising stare.
"Stop lookin' at me like I'm the dessert tray. You're creepin' me out."
Seto sighed deeply. "Come on mutt... let's get this over with."
Joey shrugged and set off back down the trail, a limping Kaiba draped awkwardly over his bare shoulders. If it occurred to him that the other boy was pressing a little closer than was strictly necessary, he didn't mention it.
~~~~~~~~~~*****~~~~~~~~~~
tbc
* In vino veritas - Latin for "The truth is in the wine" or "In wine, truth."
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