Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ alone ❯ Chapter 1

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

There�s no reason for my pain. But it�s there. This emptiness. My despair. My loneliness. I hide what I feel. I smile. I pretend they aren�t there. Sometimes I can almost fool myself. But they�re there. Always.

Anime/Manga: Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst | Type: One Shot | Uploaded On: 04.09.2005 | Updated On: 04.09.2005 | Pages: 1 | Words: 863 | Visits: 497 | Status: Completed

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh.

Why can't you see me?

Am I there at all?

Yes. I am here. I can feel it. See it. It hurts. But it proves that I'm real. It's cold. It's dark. I don't like the light. I just want to hide. In the shadows. By myself. Alone. People think I'm sweet and innocent. I hate people. The fools. No one knows me. No one wants to know me. If they knew my mind they would run. Afraid of me. Of my thoughts. Of what I feel. What I could do. To them. To myself. They lie. They say they can help me. That I can trust them. But I can't. I won't. They betrayed me. Abandoned me. I don't need their help. Why can't they just leave me alone. I want to be by myself. I'm alone anyway. No one understands that. I don't understand. I shouldn't feel this way. I should be happy. There's no reason for my pain. But it's there. This emptiness. My despair. My loneliness. I hide what I feel. I smile. I pretend they aren't there. Sometimes I can almost fool myself. But they're there. Always. I feel…I feel like inside I'm bleeding. Like there's a gaping hole in my heart. In my soul. Draining away all my happiness. My hope. My will to live. Leaving me to feel only pain and sorrow. Slowly making me numb. I used to cry. I can't even do that any more. It hurts. So I cut. I love the feeling. My flesh parting under the blade. Seeing and feeling my blood seep out. Proving that I can still feel. The pain. Its great. It's addictive. No one knows. They wouldn't understand. I wish someone would notice. I wish that someone would help me. That someone would save me. Would stop me. Before I cut too deep. Before I end it all. For myself. For someone else. I don't want to die. But I don't want to live. I just want this pain to stop. No one cares. If they did they would see. But they don't. But they can't know. They would be angry. If they knew what I do, how I feel they would pity me. I don't need anyone's pity. I don't want their pity. I want them to suffer. To feel pain like I have. No. No one else should have to feel like this. I just wish they would leave me in peace. I'm fine by myself. I like the dark. The cold. The quiet. People are too noisy. They won't be quiet. I wish that they would all leave. Die. I prefer to stay by myself. I don't like to go out. I always end up hurting people or making them angry. I don't like to hurt people. I hate being yelled at. Making people angry. Seeing them hurt. I just want to stay here in my nice dark corner. I found a lighter. I like fire. It's warm. It burns. It's beautiful. It destroys. I like burning things. Watching the flames consume them. Seeing them melt into ashes. If I ever kill somebody I'd burn their body. Okaa-san never let me have fire. Something about pyromaniacal tendencies. Oh well. I have a small fire going now. It's not dark anymore. I can see my blade. Shining silver and crimson. Mirroring the red on my arms. I really like blood. It's so beautiful. Opps. I think I cut too deep. There's more blood than usual. I'm feeling kinda faint.

Am I dead? No. Fuck. I'm still alive. Damm. Kujaku Mai still lives.

When will you see me?

When I'm not here anymore?

A.N: So what did you think? Btw this is when Mai was a teenager not in the show.