Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ As If! ❯ Champion vs. Creator, Pt. 1 ( Chapter 24 )
Anime/Manga: Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Spamfic | Uploaded On: 09.30.2002 | Updated On: 10.24.2002 | Pages: 3 | Words: 1.6K | Visits: 768 | Status: Completed
*Author's Note: Not too much to say here... This chapter is a bit shorter than the previous ones, but that makes sense to me, considering that the first one was for a trilogy and the second one I worked way too hard on. My other note is more of a plea: If this thing stops being funny, please tell me. I can never tell how funny this stuff is when I'm writing it, and I want to know what I'm doing wrong and when I'm doing it. Thanks in advance!
Six days later... Hey, guys. Sorry about the delay, but ff.net froze my account for a MST of a song (despite the fact that they only forbade MSTs of fics). It will still be a bit until the next chapter is up, though.
That seems like enough rambling to me. Go on and read!*
*Scene: The group is racing toward Pegasus's castle, in this order: Mai, Yugi, Joey, Téa, Bakura, and then, last and least, Tristan.*
Tristan: Race ya there, Joey!
Joey: You're on!
Téa: There's twenty feet left until the castle, Tristan. You couldn't even catch me!
Bakura: Or me!
*Scene: The three duelists have angered Pegasus's door goon... er, guard, and so now he won't let the extras inside.*
Téa: But you have to let us in! We're the cheerleaders! We have pom-poms and everything! *a couple of seconds, some rummaging through Yugi's backpack, and a quick dash behind the trees later, Téa, Tristan, and Bakura are dressed in short skirts with high pony-tails* See?
*Scene: More of that.*
Goon: No star chips, no entry.
Yugi: Aww... sorry, Yam-Yam, but rules are rules. *takes off his Millennium Puzzle and tosses it to Bakura*
Yami: But... but...
*Scene: Joey just locked Pegasus's minion outside.*
Goon: You little thumbsuckers! Open this door!
Tristan: *calls out to him* Sorry, but you know the rules: No chips, no entry, and you don't even have a glove!
*Scene: They all stand around the main hall.*
Yami: *takes over from Yugi* Wow... this kind of reminds me of home... not as nice, of course, but better than that peasant hut Yugi lives in... *stokes the gold-plating on the walls lovingly* I want to live here from now on!
*Scene: Everyone runs off to find Pegasus, but ends up a level too high.*
Yugi: Hey, isn't that...
Joey: Bandit Keith!
Bakura: *joyously* And another precipitous drop!
Téa: *sweatdrops* I think we need to get him a wowwypop.
Joey: Heh! ... ...if he gets a wowwypop, den I wan' a wowwypop...
*Note: Yes, I did steal that directly from The Simpsons.*
*Scene: The gang's chatting about Pegasus's "exhibition match" with Croquet.*
Mai: So basically, it's meant to intimidate us, huh?Croquet: Why would Pegasus do something like that?
Joey: 'Cause he's a grade-A nutcase.Croquet: *proudly* My boss does nothing half-way.
*Scene: Kaiba's thinking about rescuing Mokuba when the door slides open revealing Pegasus.*
Kaiba: Aah! The door! It moved! IT'S MAGIC!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!! *flees, screaming*
Pegasus: That was my easiest match yet!*everyone else sweatdrops*
Téa: That was... odd...
*Scene: Pegasus is less stupid than Yugi and Friends, and pleads ignorance about how to work Kaiba's Dueling Disk.*
Pegasus: Do I spin it like a top, or roll it like a ball? Wear it as a hat -- though it seems a little flat. Or is it meditate and pray that here's the right way?
Kaiba: Your mocking angers me still further.
*Scene: Kaiba is deriding Pegasus for his inability to fight his own battles.*
Pegasus: Simple-minded fool. For all of your titles and technical innovations, you still haven't learned that fighting isn't the only way to inflict damage upon an opponent. A man's spirit can be broken in much easier ways.Every Yami in the room: AMEN!
*Scene: Pegasus reveals Mokuba, Version Soulless, and yatters happily about him.*
Mai: What's Pegasus mean?
Tristan: He must've done to Mokuba what he did to Yugi's grandpa!
Mai: And what was that? Just because I gave you star chips doesn't mean I researched your life histories.
*Scene: Pegasus and Kaiba are writing out their contract.*
Pegasus: Beat me in a duel, and I'll release him as promised, but fail and not only will his soul remain in bondage, but yours will join it.
Kaiba: What? That wasn't part of the original deal!
Pegasus: You never asked.
Kaiba: *mentally* Grr. On the one hand, I have to duel to rescue Mokuba... on the other, I'll be no use to anyone if I get caught, too. ...and that card thing looks really nasty. *out loud* Sorry, Pegasus, not happening.
Pegasus: Oh, I'm afraid that's a deal-breaker for me...
Kaiba: Guess it's off, then.
Pegasus: *tucks the Mokuba card away* Always a pleasure doing business with you, Seto.
Kaiba: Same here, Max. *leaves*
*Scene: Yugi realizes that Kaiba was fighting so hard because he can't rescue Mokuba unless Pegasus lets him.*
Yugi: His brother's even worse off than he thought!
Kaiba: Than I thought?! I watched my brother's soul get sealed away!
Yugi: I run around killing people as a hobby. Ignore my demented logic.
*Scene: A flashback of Mokuba.*
Mokuba: *crying* I miss you, Kaiba.
Yami: *listening in to Kaiba's thoughts* However did you see that?Seto: I, uh, heard about it... yeah, that's it. Shut up!
*Scene: Kaiba has a crisis of morality.*
Kaiba: I can't duel my own brother, even if his soul is in another place. He's been through enough already.
Téa: His logic frightens and confuses me.
*Scene: Kaiba "negotiates" with his personal terrorist.*
Pegasus: *talking to Mokuba, Ver. S.* So rather than duel your empty shell with a device he's perfected, he'll give me home-field advantage. Fine with me.
Kaiba: *watching the arena descend* Yeah, but I'm still the one that built this thing. You don't even like using arenas!
Pegasus: Ahh... whoops...
*Scene: Apart goes the bridge, down comes the arena.*
Joey: Wow, check out the automated bridge!
Téa: Forget about the bridge, an entire arena's coming down!
Joey: *drools* Arena... hot dogs... nachos... I could sure go fer some of dat right now!
Bandit Keith: *slaps Joey on the back* That's just what I was saying! I think I like you, dweeb.
*Scene: Mai demonstrates that she has no emotional interest whatsoever vested in this duel.*
Mai: This should be good! The two biggest legends in Duel Monsters going at it? This is what it's all about.
Yami: Hey! I beat Kaiba in ONE TRY!
*Scene: Same.*
Mai: This is what it's all about.*Some Duel Monsters advertisers walk up and hand Mai a wad of cash, which she tucks into her bag*
Mai: Thank you, boys.
*Scene: The arena is assembling itself with lots of light-beams.*
Joey: Can anybody say "pod racer?"
*Scene: Yugi has not yet realized the money that can be gotten in the strategy market, and is giving Kaiba free advice.*
Yugi: I couldn't live with myself if I held back on anything that could help Kaiba get his brother back!
Yami: *helpfully* Then shouldn't you tell him that Pegasus can read his cards?
Yugi: Nah, that can't be that big an advantage.
*Scene: Some threats, promises, and boasts.*
Kaiba: We've known each other for a long time, and now we'll see if the master is the Duel Monsters creator or the champion!
Yami: *seethes* I could beat everyone in this room, blindfolded! Just try me!
*Scene: Pegasus is obviously feigning horror that Kaiba has destroyed two of his monsters with the Rude Kaiser.*
Joey: Didn't he pull this act with you?
Yugi: Yep. I guess he doesn't even take the world champion seriously.
Pegasus: Teehee! "Rude Kaiser!" What a funny name! Teeheehee! "Rude!" *collapses against the arena, giggling*
Yugi: *sweatdrops* Or he's just drunk.
*Scene: Pegasus stops losing for a moment.*
Pegasus: I played a card face down, don't you remember? It's called "Prophecy," and it gives me the right to guess whether the card you're about to play has an attack power higher or lower than 2,000. And if I manage to guess correctly, Kaiba boy, then the card in question becomes mine.
Joey: *taking notes* Ooh, nice...
Bandit Keith: Is this guy really a duelist?
Mai: I've been asking myself that for days.
*Scene: Pegasus, surprise surprise!, guesses correctly and wins the Blue-Eyes White Dragon.*
Pegasus: Now I have two things you care about, Kaiba: your dragon and your brother.
Kaiba: It's not them I really care about...
Pegasus: Oh?
Kaiba: You took my dueling disk! My poor, poor dueling disk! *sobs brokenly and weeps openly*
*Scene: That again.*
Pegasus: Now I have two things you care about, Kaiba: your dragon and your brother.
Kaiba: I think it's time for another "you monster," don't you?
*Scene: More of that.*
Pegasus: Let's see what else I can take.
Bakura: *calls down helpfully* Win and you get his soul, remember?
Pegasus: Ooh, goody!
Kaiba: Damn it...
*Scene: Kaiba continues the state of shock that he's been in continuously since he almost lost to Yugi.*
Téa: I've never seen Kaiba so shaken before!
Yami: What about when I beat him?! DOES NOBODY REMEMBER ME?!?
Yugi: Er... I love you?
Yami: Oh, you don't count.