Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ As If! ❯ Match of the Millennium, Pt. 2 ( Chapter 34 )
Anime/Manga: Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Spamfic | Uploaded On: 10.12.2002 | Updated On: 10.24.2002 | Pages: 4 | Words: 3.1K | Visits: 769 | Status: Completed
*Author's Note: Eep. Meant to update sooner. Didn't. My apologies. You know how life can be...
Shadow Vitani - Heehee... Freaky! *steals!*
Pharaoh Yami - Heh... I like that scene, too. *laughs at my own joke*
loanshark - All that advice about how to change chapter ordering was great until the part about you just guessing. However, as that option MUST be there for a reason, I'm betting that's right. Oh, and thanks.
Lizzie - Waah, I forgot to give you credit for your joke last chapter! I'm sorry!! Have a cookie! *holds the plate out to her apologetically*
... *looks down at the cookies* *softly* Oh. I get it, now. *sets the plate down and holds up a cookie, in all its chocolatey and vanillay goodness* You miss your Yami, don't you?
*Ay nods, sad and embarrassed.*
*sighs* I'm sorry. I shouldn't be keeping you apart like this. I'll... I'll see what I can do. *turns and leaves, letting the reader go on to the fic**
*Scene: Cheerleading. Or something.*
Joey: Man, I can't believe it's finally happenin'. Yugi vs. Pegasus for his grandpa's soul!
Bakura: *overly innocent* Why would Yugi want Pegasus's grandfather's soul?
Joey: Bakura! Now is not the time for jokes!
Bakura: Best time, if you ask me.
*Scene: Bakura actually looks the most distressed, here.*
Joey: Everything we've been workin' for comes down to this match!
Téa: "We?" You were fighting for your sister, and I'm just along to get out of school!
Bakura: And I'm just here to... Uhhh... Cheer. Right.
Joey: *not noticing* Yeah, yeah.
*Scene: Glowiness.*
Yami Bakura: *thinking* Let's see what Croquet's up to, shall we?
Bakura: *mentally; hopefully* Or we could not. That'd be good, too.
Yami Bakura: *sighs* I should stop talking to myself. It makes you think you're allowed to speak.
*Scene: Listening in across the way.*
Croquet: What? What do you mean, Mokuba's missing? He is instrumental in the plan to take over Kaiba Corp.. Find him immediately, idiot! How hard can it be to recapture a soulless body? Do not make me come down there!
Yami Bakura: *bemused* Do you know, I rather think I like him. I'll have to remember to mangle him as painlessly as possible.
*Scene: Bakura turns and starts to wander off, forgetting the nebbiness of the cheerleaders.*
Joey: You got somewhere to go, Bakura?
Yami Bakura: *doing his best Bakura imitation, which basically makes him sound rather strangled* Yes. I thought I'd go and check on Tristan.
Téa: He has been gone a long time.
Joey: *angrily, raising his fists* Too long, if you ask me!
Yami Bakura: *with a hidden smirk* What, are you going to beat me up because Tristan got lost?
Joey: Ah... Gee, I didn't mean it like that... *drops his fists, clearly flustered* Sorry, Bakura.
Yami Bakura: Think nothing of it! *mentally, as himself* These mortals are fun to play, if nothing else.
*Scene: By having Pegasus think out all of Yugi's moves, and then having them played, the writers actually managed to halve the amount of dueling they had to put into the playing time.*
Pegasus: Goody! Now it's my turn once again.
Téa: Wow. I've never seen a person that celebrated so much every time their opponent played.
*Scene: How on earth does Yami play like that without ever moving his eyes from Pegasus's face?*
Pegasus: *thinking* You see? The Eye never lies. Nor does it fail in sighting the vulnerabilities for your pathetic moves.
Yami: *telepathically* No, no. That's MY job. The Eye can only read minds. It's the Puzzle that grants unbeatable luck in games.
*Scene: Dark, dirty hallways once again, where Yami Bakura is running down the hall, panting.*
Yami Bakura: *thinking* Where are you, little Mokuba?
Bakura: *unperturbed* May I ask why you're going after him? Does someone older, stronger, and fabulously rich have no appeal to you? If you're going to take over the world, that's not a bad place to start from.
Yami Bakura: *sarcastic* And why are you being so helpful all of a sudden?
Bakura: *shrugs* Bored.
*Scene: Yami manages to have all his teeth show as he calls his attack. Pegasus responds by flipping up a trap.*
Pegasus: Well, a trap for traps, actually. It's called "Trap Displacement," and with it I can take the Spellbinding Circle you set on one of my monsters and switch it to one of yours! Observe.
Yami: No! Now Ryu-ran's attack points are back to normal and my Summoned Skull's 700 points weaker.
Pegasus: Why, it's almost as if I knew exactly what you were thinking, isn't it?
Yami: Well, I wouldn't go that far. After all, you'd have to be a fool not to play such a powerful card, if you had it and had drawn it.
*Scene: Ryu-ran does NOT look friendly.*
Yami: No! My Summoned Skull won't be able to last another turn with that Spellbinding Circle entrapping him.
Pegasus: Come now, Yugi-boy, your Skull won't even last this one.
Joey: *pause*
Téa: *pause*
Yami: *seethe*
Joey: Yep, there's really nothin' I can say to beat that.
*Scene: The Summoned Skull is destroyed.*
Yugi: *managing to find yet ANOTHER tone of voice for "angry/sad"* Pegasus know every dueling strategy I think up.
Pegasus: Actually, I know every kind of strategy you think up. Or fail to, as the case may be.
*Scene: Cheerleaders' thoughts.*
Joey: That mind-reading cheat! What the heck's the use in goin' on?!
Téa: Love of the game? Lack of anything better to do? A few more precious moments living outside of a cheap paper card?
Joey: It was a rhetorical question, Téa.
*Scene: Téa rebukes him.*
Joey: It ain't over 'til it's over. We've gotta believe Yugi'll find the way to beat this creep.
Téa: Yeah. I just wish there was more than the one...
Joey: I know. The odds are a bit more than I like. But I thought you were supposed to be the positive one!
Téa: "Supposed to" doesn't mean "am."
*Scene: Yami Bakura walks in on Tristan at the most dramatic moment, completely calm. Some parts of style NEVER go out of fashion.*
Yami Bakura: *chuckles* Lay one hand on the boy and you will rue the day you imbeciles were ever born.
Bakura: *idly twirling a lock of hair* Wouldn't they rue they day you were born -- or better yet, imprisoned?
Yami Bakura: *mentally* No, that would require more intelligence than granted them and their entire line.
Bakura: Seems a bit contradictory to the complexity of your language, if you ask me.
*Scene: Just one threat, and Bakura has the complete attention of everyone in the room.*
Guard: Step out of those shadows right now!
Yami Bakura: *lounges against a wall* Your entire castle is built out of shadow. If you can't see an albino, that's your problem, not mine.
*Scene: Selflessness.*
Tristan: Run for it, Bakura! Go on, save yourself!
Yami Bakura: Believe me, were I in any risk, that is exactly what I would be doing.
Tristan: What? Bakura? You're even more pathetic than Yugi! He might not know how to throw a punch, but his falling unconscious on the ground usually provides a distraction for a few seconds, at least...
*Scene: You should know what the guards are doing now. I don't even need to say it.*
Guard: Step outta those shadows, or else!
Yami Bakura: Or else you'll do what, you pathetic little drones?
Guard 2: Uhh... That's a good question, actually... We don't really have the numbers advantage anymore.
Guard: ... *with dawning recognition* In fact, one might even say we're outnumbered.
Guard 2: Oh! Yeah! There's no way we could beat them!
Guard: Guess we'll just have to make a strategic withdrawal!
*The guards beat a hasty retreat.*
*Scene: Bakura was serious when he warned the goons not to mess with him.*
Yami Bakura: Chain Energy!
Guard: What on Earth? I'm stuck!
Tristan: *rather startled by the whole affair* I don't think the Earth has anything to do with it.
*Scene: The thief and robber run off together.*
Guard: Hey, stop!
Guard 2: Halt!
Guard: Hey, those brats are getting away!
Guard 2: I can see that, moron.
Guard: Shouldn't we be chasing them? Only our arms are bound.
Guard 2: Do YOU want to follow them?
Guard: Well, no.
Guard 2: Then I say we pretend they are.
Guard: *relieved* Good idea!
*Scene: Yami's sweating, and rightly so.*
Pegasus: But even without my Millennium Magic, you're no match for me. After all, who needs magic with this card? *pulls out Toon World*
Yami: Against Kaiba? No-one. Against me? You and everyone else.
*Scene: That Toon World theme has gotten no less annoying over the intervening episodes.*
Pegasus: Perhaps you'll remember it. *holds it up* That's right, Yugi. It's the magical Toon World!
Yami: I thought as much.
Pegasus: As you recall, Toon World protects my monsters beneath its impenetrable hardback bindings. Bindings that they'll only vacate when they're about to attack you!
Yami: Yes, I do remember this, as you must know. Why do you repeat it?
Pegasus: Ahh, can I help it if I admire the sound of my own fine voice?
*Scene: Happy taunting.*
Pegasus: And seeing how all my monsters have been transformed to their super-powered Toon form, it will be an attack that's certain to leave you in stitches!
Yami: Oh, a pun. How delightful.
*Scene: The most untranslatable thing.*
Pegasus: What's the matter, Yugi-boy? Don't you have a sense of humor?
Yami: Not one that's recognized by today's standards, no.
*Scene: The "darling" Manga Ryu-ran and Toon Mermaid now inhabit the field.*
Pegasus: Manga Ryu-ran! Attack the monster Yugi has in Defensive Mode. Nasty Nostril Flame Attack!
*The Stone Soldier incinerated, Ryu-ran leans over to taunt and mock. Yami promptly punches him on the nose.*
*Scene: Oops. I forgot about the cheerleaders for a while there, didn't I? Oh, well.*
Pegasus: Aren't my Toons simply marvelous? I can't help but feel the same proud satisfaction that a parent would.
Téa: Oh, so that's why he does it! It's a substitute for not having been able to raise a family with his wife!
Pegasus: *flaring to anger* Keep your nose in your own business, little girl!
Téa: *smugly* Ooh, I hit a sore spot. Guess I was right, then.
*Scene: Angry thinking.*
Yugi: If I keep throwing my monsters in Defensive Mode, Pegasus's Toons will just keep picking them off. My only chance is take the offensive. Maybe by attacking, I can uncover some kind of weakness in these Toon monsters.
Yami: *mentally* Lovely way to throw some points, too.
*Scene: Yugi decides to match points with the Toon Mermaid.*
Yami: Go, Celtic Guardian! Silverblade Slash! *he does so, but...* No way! The clam caught my attack!
Téa: I hate to say it, Yugi, but you really should have been expecting something like this, after Kaiba's duel with Pegasus. If a Toon Blue-Eyes can beat a real one, what chance did your Guardian have?
*Scene: Look at that Mermaid wiggle!*
Pegasus: Yugi's Guardian is the catch of the day! *laughs* And if there's one thing I love -- besides winning, that is -- it's a fish fry!
Téa: *drolly* Guess we know what to do for Pegasus's birthday, then.
Joey: What, fry him up?
Téa: Uh... Well, that works, too.
*Scene: The Guardian gets shoved back, and shot.*
Téa: That was no draw!
Joey: Obviously.
*Scene: Poor Yugi is not cut out for dueling.*
Yugi: *panicking* Okay, well, maybe if I play a stronger card.
Pegasus: Afraid not. No card in your deck is strong enough. My Toon Monsters can't be beaten by sheer brute force.
Yami: *far calmer than his hapless aibou* Now wasn't that easy? Thank you!
*Scene: Pegasus plays two cards face-down as his Toons retreat into their book.*
Yami: I'm throwing a monster in Defense Mode.
Pegasus: I knew you would, Yugi-boy.
Yami: Agh, I hate being so predictable. It's one thing when he reads my mind, but quite another when he guesses to choose what to play.
*Scene: One of Pegsy's cards was the trap Gorgon's Eye.*
Yami: My Imp! He's been turned to stone!
Téa: *scratches head* I'm not sure how he can tell that by just seeing it go grey-scale.
*Scene: The odd, floating eye sinks back into the field.*
Pegasus: Sorry. But there is a bright side to having a set of fossilized monsters, Yugi-boy. They make fine paperweights! *laughs, but alone* ... Hmm. Tough crowd.
Téa: No, bad joke.
Joey: If you hadn't just explained about the effect of destroyin' 'em, then maybe.
Téa: But basically, bad joke.
*Scene: No laughs means no mercy.*
Pegasus: Maybe you can learn to lighten up from my second face-down card.
Yugi: *mentally rolls his eyes* Good luck! I've been trying to get him to do that for ages now!
*Yugi gets whacked by his aibou.*
*Scene: Max plays Doppelganger.*
Pegasus: This little rascal can transform himself into any card on the field that I want. *Doppelganger twines itself around him* Oh, beg your pardon, any card that he wants.
Téa: *flabbergasted* But he... the arena... and the hologram... it... not... what?
Joey: Gotta hand it to Kaiba, he sure does illogical work!
*Scene: Doppleganger is rather nauseating to watch too closely.*
Pegasus: Well, Yugi-boy, it seems that he would like to transform into that Summoned Skull that I defeated a few turns ago.
Yami: My Skull? He's in my graveyard!
Pegasus: Ah, yes, but isn't that the beauty of such un-dead monsters? Un-dead once, un-dead always, if you know what I mean.
*Scene: The Toon Skull is born.*
Yami: You're twisted, Pegasus. You take such delight in creating such a monstrosity.
Yugi: So... American...
Yami: So... modern...
*They both shudder.*
*Scene: Pegasus's most serious attempt to bring Yami to his knees, begging for mercy.*
Pegasus: Don't say that! You'll hurt its feelings. You may not know it, but beneath that gruff exterior lies a very sensitive Toon.
*The Toon Skull flirts outrageously with Yami, forcing him to turn away, looking distinctly green.*
Téa: *horrified* I can't believe Kaiba would program something like that!
*Scene: Yami draws with some trepidation, since each turn he ends means another chance for the Toons to appear.*
Pegasus: I see you've drawn the fabled Dark Magician.
Yami: Anh!
Pegasus: What? Still shocked? *shakes head sadly* And here I thought you were beginning to catch on...
*Scene: "Lies. All lies."*
Pegasus: Your favorite card, if I'm not mistaken. His trouncing should be especially painful for you. I so look forward to when you put him into play, Yugi-boy. *thinking* And I can crush him.
Yami: *using his own mind-reading that we all know and love* Why not say that out loud? We all know you want to -- and can.
Pegasus: Ah, but bragging is so unseemly.
*Scene: On to corridors that Pegasus clearly never treads.*
Tristan: *panting* Hey, Bakura... what was it... you did back there? Using that magic card... but for real.
Yami Bakura: *keeping stride up the stairs behind him* Not now. Those guards are still behind us.
Tristan: Hey, but... you aren't... even panting. You should be able... to talk fine!
Yami Bakura: Alright, then. Not ever. I've no need to explain myself to you.
*Scene: Whether Yami Bakura doesn't know how to use doorknobs or it's a morality thing, I don't know, but he sees no reason to dirty his hands on one.*
Tristan: It's a no-go. This door's locked. Come on! *turns and runs off*
Yami Bakura: *stays behind for a moment and magically opens the door with a flick of his hand. Sees a neon sign at the far end.* Hmm. "Exit." *pauses, then shrugs* But hell. This is almost amusing. *strides off after Tristan*
*Scene: Tristan finds a rough-hewn doorway at the top of a flight of stairs.*
Tristan: Look! A way out! *promptly runs out and over the edge*
Yami Bakura: *watches him fall from the safety of the doorway* If there's one thing I've learned in all my years, it is to never run into the light.
*Scene: Speaking of light, how did they see in those hallways with no torches? And why do I get the feeling they deleted a video clip through here?*
Tristan: I owe you one, Bakura.
Yami Bakura: Obviously. And be sure to mention that to Yugi when we get back.
*Scene: From fits of super-human strength to very-human doubt.*
Yugi: *sighs* It all just seems so hopeless.
Pegasus: It certainly does. *Yami growls* Oh, sorry, were you having a private conversation with yourself? I keep forgetting you're schizophrenic.
*Scene: Cheerleading.*
Joey: Don't you listen to 'im, Yuge. Remember everything at stake here: Your grandpa, Mokuba, Kaiba.
Yami: Kaiba? Why do you keep including him, but not me? You think I care more for my would-be murderer than my own soul?
Joey: Er, well, it just sounds less selfish that way.
Yami: The moment I care about that, I'll tell you.
*Scene: Into the good, wholesome sunshine.*
Tristan: Well, seeing as how jumpin's out of the question, I'd say we're as good as caught. ... *pause* ... Bakura?
Yami Bakura: *twitching spasmodically* I'm only going to tell you this once -- NEVER say such things in my hearing. EVER.
Bakura: *pounding his fists against his soulroom wall* DAMN YOU, YAMI! LET ME OUT!!!
Yami Bakura: *shouts mentally, annoyed* YOU CAN KILL YOURSELF IN A FEW MINUTES, YOU... You... JUST SHUT UP!!! Your wimpiness is rubbing off on me!
*Scene: The guards burst into view below.*
Tristan: Well, we tried.
Yami Bakura: What do you mean, "we tried?" We are not captured just yet.
Tristan: What are you talkin' about? We're totally out-manned!
Yami Bakura: Do you modern-day simpletons know nothing of battle? We have the high-ground. They can only come at us two at a time, so if you would put the youngling down, we could easily take them.
*Scene: A different, easier solution.*
Yami Bakura: We won't be after I enlist some help from the Shadow Realm.
Tristan: Huh? The Shadow Realm? This can't be good.
Yami Bakura: And now you know how we felt during last night's escapade!