Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ As If! ❯ Trial by Red Eyes ( Chapter 11 )
Anime/Manga: Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Spamfic | Uploaded On: 10.31.2002 | Pages: 6 | Words: 4.0K | Visits: 894 | Status: Completed
*Author's Note: Nothing I want to say here, except for "ten thousand thanks!" to all my reviewers, and all those kind people who sent me scenes for the next chapter. I love you!!*
*Scene: The Raptor isn't rattled, or so he claims.*
Rex: Your horned freaks may have won control of the field, but now it's time to see if you can hold it. Trakadon!
Tristan: Ooh, a big scary Defense monster...
Joey: Shakin' in my boots, here!
*Scene: Joey starts getting arrogant.*
Joey: Battleguard! Give that card a thrashing!
*The red one leaps forward to perform the service, but trips over the green one, who had been doing the same thing. They wind up in a tangled heap on the arena floor, whacking each other over the head with their clubs as they struggle to regain their feet.*
Yugi: Joey! That's one of the first things I taught you! Be specific!
*Scene: What the explanation of this is, I don't know.*
Tristan: Whoa, look at 'em glow! Those guys are some kind of tag-team.
Yugi: So shiny... *_*
*Téa sighs.*
*Scene: Happy ranting about the power of the Battleguards.*
Tristan: And since Joey's already taken out Rex's best monster card, the rest will be cake. Finish him, bro!
Rex: Ha! Who said that Serpent Night Dragon that Joey destroyed two turns ago was my best card?
Tristan: Uh... you? When you said that it was the "top link of the food chain?"
Rex: Oh. Guess I did. But it's not.
Joey: Now he tells me!
*Scene: Rex plays the Red-Eyes Black Dragon.*
Rex: Your pair of primates can power up 'til they're green in the face, they're still no match for the thrashing power of this beast.
Joey: "Green in the face," "Swamp Battleguard," ha ha, very funny, Rex.
Rex: *smirking* I thought so, yes.
*Scene: Startlement all around.*
Yugi: *cowed* So it does exist. My grandpa told me about this card.
Téa: Wouldn't that kinda been a give-away that it did, then?
Yugi: Yeah, but Grandpa's kind of getting up there in years, now...
*Scene: Yugi sounds actually scared.*
Yugi: Its powers are said to rival those of the legendary Blue-Eyes White Dragon.
Tristan: Is it just me, or would that be really easy to test? Take a Blue-Eyes White Dragon card, and a Red-Eyes Black Dragon card, hold 'em up together, and look at those pretty little numbers...
*Scene: Mai is equally awed.*
Mai: It's about time Rex played a card that'll put Joey in his place.
Téa: *deliberately misinterpreting her* Yeah, 'cause when this match is over, Joey'll have Rex's star chips, and Rex will be knocked back down!
*Scene: The REBD destroys the Battleguards, much to Joey and Tristan's dismay.*
Joey: How could he torch 'em both with just one shot?!
Téa: *scratches head* There's a rule against that? Yugi seems to do it all the time...
*Scene: Go Taichi-in-a-HAT!! Rah, rah!*
Rex: Those who defend together are destroyed together!
Joey: Aw, but I'm a big believer in "united we stand, divided we fall!" Doesn't that count for anything?
*The cheerleaders look at him as if worried that he actually is that stupid.*
*Scene: Mai chuckles, sounding like she's sick with a cold.*
Mai: That's a good boy, Rex. Nice work.
Téa: Does he actually not mind you treating him like a dog?
Mai: *shrugs* Why should I care? That's all he is, after all.
*Scene: Téa whispers sweet nothings in Yugi's ear while Joey attempts to stay calm.*
Téa: Yugi, tell me that Dragon isn't as tough as it looks. I mean, there must be something Joey can do to stop it.
Yugi: *thinking* I wish I could answer her. 'Cause there is one last move that could save Joey from that Red-Eyes. But I'm barred from giving advice in this duel.
Yami: What, couldn't you even reassure her that it's possible? Whisper to her what he should do? Not just stand there and look like you're deaf and couldn't hear her?
Yugi: *mentally* You can feel free to be quiet aaaany time you like, you know.
*Scene: No offense is intended by this joke.*
Rex: Play every monster you got! My Dragon has enough fire-power to turn your whole deck into a smoldering pile of ash!
Tristan: AAH!!
Téa: Huh? Tristan?
Tristan: *sweatdrops* Er, sorry about that. I thought he meant Ash -- you know, the kid from that show, Pokémon.
Téa: *shudders* Ugh!
*Scene: Same.*
Rex: My Dragon has enough fire-power to turn your whole deck into a smoldering pile of ash!
Joey: *sarcastic* 'Cause setting fire to a stack of paper cards is just soo difficult.
*Scene: Cheerleading.*
Tristan: Yo, Joey! You may not have the monster to beat that thing, but you got the smarts!
Téa: *surprised* He does?
Joey: I do?
Tristan: Er, well, so maybe not the smarts. But you've got luck! That's gotta count for something!
*Scene: Happy Super Faith Club.*
Yugi: We're not giving up on you, Joey!
Mai: *wagging a finger* Uh-uh-uh! We said no advice.
Yugi: Wha...?
Mai: Implicit in there is the statement that it's still possible for him to win. That's giving him hints, and you know what the consequences of that is.
Yugi: But I...
Joey: *groans* Thanks, Yuge!
Yugi: *protesting* I didn't even...
*The cheerleaders ignore him and turn and walk away.*
*Scene: Joey draws.*
Mai: *screeching* Hey, are you going to nab me the victory you promised, or are you going to sit there with that dumb look on your face?
Téa: *looking at her rival cheerleader with disgust* As if Rex could even play while it's Joey's turn! Man, I'm sure glad I don't sound like that.
*Yugi and Tristan look at each other, and wisely decide to say nothing.*
*Scene: Same.*
Mai: Hey, are you going to nab me the victory you promised, or are you going to sit there with that dumb look on your face?
Rex: *aloof* I happen to believe that the two aren't mutually exclusive.
*Scene: Same once again, because I can't not.*
Mai: Hey, are you going to nab me the victory you promised, or are you going to sit there with that dumb look on your face?
Rex: "Sit?" You can't sit at these arenas!
*Scene: Why does Rex have purple bangs?*
Rex: Oh, Joey? I have an idea. Let's make this duel more exciting, and each put one card up for grabs with our star chips. And just so it's fair, we'll both put up whatever card we have on the field. Sound good?
Joey: Huh? But you have two cards on the field -- your Red-Eyes Black Dragon and your Dragon Nails card.
Rex: *blinks* We'll, you'd be getting Dragon Nails, obviously. I'm not about to risk my Dragon, after all!
*Scene: Blink.*
Joey: Wha? I don't have any cards on the... Oh, yeah, my Time Wizard! I forgot about dat!
Rex: *snickers* This is great! He can't even figure out how to read his own display!
*Scene: The screeching resumes.*
Mai: Just what do you think you're doing, you disobedient dolt? You're here to take Joey out of this tournament, not to improve your deck!
Rex: Heh! Should have specified that in your rules, "Princess."
*Scene: Shriek, shriek.*
Mai: Rex, you double-crossing snake! I know what you're scheming!
Rex: What, wasn't the whole reason I was dueling him just so that I could go and cream you?
Mai: Well, yeah, but that's because you're supposed to LOSE!
*Scene: Joey thinks about how much the Red-Eyes Black Dragon would help him.*
Joey: *thinking* But I hate to risk this Time Wizard Yugi gave me like it was some bargaining chip. Wait a minute... What am I talkin' about? Maybe I don't have to!
Yami: *to himself* You just have to love it when people are so hypocritical as to think that a spin of a roulette isn't a risk.
*Scene: Same.*
Joey: What am I talkin' about? Maybe I don't have to!
Yami: *sighs* Of course you don't have to. It's just a bet -- not part of the rules.
*Scene: Joey switches the Time Wizard to Attack, much to Rex's distress.*
Mai: This wouldn't be happening if you'd just obeyed my commands, Rex!
Téa: Um... I'd like to disagree, but I don't really think I can...
*Scene: Illogical Statements R Us.*
Joey: I hoped you packed your bags, Rex, 'cause if my Time Wizard's spin arrow lands on a time warp, you'll be on the next boat off this island!
Tristan: Uh, Rex has five star chips, Joey, and he only bet two.
Téa: And there's no way he could have unpacked any bags he might have brought with him.
Joey: *sweatdrops* I know, it just sounded better dat way.
*Scene: The risk.*
Téa: What happens if the arrow lands on a skull?
Mai: Shouldn't you know? It's not like this is the first time he's used this card.
Téa: *sweatdrops* Humor me.
Mai: They can, but I won't!
*Scene: All the KidsWB ads showing the three cheerleaders lined up like that has entirely dulled me on this scene.*
Yugi: All we can do now is hope that arrow doesn't land on a skull.
Tristan: Couldn't we hope that it does land on a time machine? That seems more optimistic, to me.
*Scene: Rex looks substantially less cute when he's stressed.*
Joey: *thinking* Come on, Time Machine.
Rex: *thinking* Come on, Skull.
Yami: *enjoying the morbid humor of the situation* Skull? I see no undead monsters on that field...
*Scene: Spinny spinny spinny...*
Téa: It's stopping.
Mai: Slowly...
Joey: *sarcastic* Yes, Mai. It's stopping slowly. Very good.
*Mai growls.*
*Scene: The cheerleaders are recoiling from... the bright light! Yeah, that's it! There's nothing inexplicable here!*
Rex: You jerk! Look what you've done! The entire space-time continuum is speeding out of control! Eons are passing like seconds!
Joey: I'll be sure to apologize to all the astrophysicists later.
*Scene: The Time Wizard supports evolution.*
Rex: The entire space-time continuum is speeding out of control! Eons are passing like seconds!
Joey: Well, duhhhh. That was the whole point!
*Scene: Téa postulates that the Red-Eyes is fossilized.*
Mai: No, he hasn't! He's still standing! Sure, he's beginning to grey a little, but that's natural! I mean, it's just dust! You know how hard it is to keep black clothes black, right? Right??
*Scene: The cheerleaders rejoice. Well, the decent ones, at least.*
Yugi: The millions of years that Joey's Time Wizard made pass has turned Rex's Dragon into a brittle shell of dust!
Yami: *subdued* I can almost feel sorry for the poor thing...
*Scene: Same.*
Yugi: The millions of years that Joey's Time Wizard made pass has turned Rex's Dragon into a brittle shell of dust!
Tristan: Convenient how it chose this moment out of all those years to collapse in, isn't it?
*Scene: Joey merrily leaps from the arena.*
Joey: I did it, guys! I di... aaaah! *lands wrong and twists his ankle, collapsing in a heap on the ground* Owwww...
*Scene: Field of daisies scene, across the vast distance that is the length of the arena.*
Tristan: Hey, you're the man, Joey!
Joey: Yeah, you know it!
Tristan: Comin' right at ya, man!
Joey: Give me some skin, bro!
Tristan: *stops dead* Ugh, bad mental images, Joe!
Joey: *stops, too, and shudders* Ugh, you're right. Sorry, man.
*Scene: Yugi looks so young and naive here...*
Yugi: Come on, guys, there's no need to fight over this!
Téa: Maybe we oughta stay out of this one. I think this is their bizarre way of showing each other they care.
Yugi: Oh. Okay. I just hope they don't care about me that much.
Téa: Me, too! Er, I mean, about myself. Not you. Well, you too, but... *sweats, while Yugi looks on in bafflement*
*Scene: The gang wanders through the woods at night.*
Tristan: Don't tell me you're afraid, Téa. You got us protecting you!
Téa: Yeah, but who's protecting you guys?
Tristan: *shrugs* Yugi. Who else?
*Scene: "Out here in the quiet of the night..."*
Joey: Relax, guys. There's nothing in these woods but crickets and squirrels.
Yami: SQUIRRELS?! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! *separates from Yugi and runs off screaming through the woods*
Yugi: *in a tone as shocked as the others' expressions* You don't see that every day...
*Scene: Joey spots something yummy on the ground.*
Joey: Hey, my meal ticket!
Tristan: What? *grabs him and holds him back* No!
Yugi: Wild mushrooms are poisonous, Joey!
Joey: Correction, some wild mushrooms are poisonous!
Téa: Hey, whatever happened to Tristan's Great Outdoor Survival Guide?
Tristan: *sweatdrops* Well, you know how you were saying that if I was that hungry, I could eat it?
Téa: Yeah.
Tristan: Well, I was that hungry.
*Scene: Mai shows up, munching on a chocolate bar.*
Joey: That's it! You can duel me, you can insult me, but you're not eatin' in front of me!
Mai: Hmm? And here I thought you didn't like being insulted. Why, silly me!
*Scene: Joey (barely) turns down Mai's star-chips-for-food offer.*
Mai: I'll be more than happy to share if you can manage to ask politely like a gentleman.
Joey: Right, so then you can go and make fun of me for that, too?
Téa: Who cares?! You're probably never going to see her again after this tournament is over, and we want food now!
*Scene: Mai's practically having to force her food on them.*
Mai: Look. By tomorrow I'll have won entrance to the castle, so there's no point in me keeping an entire knapsack full of food.
Téa: Wow, that's pretty generous. I mean, just giving away things you bought like that.
Mai: What can I say? Little Yugi over there is just so cute!
*Yugi blushes and chuckles nervously while Téa growls.*
*Scene: Yugi's Puzzle sure looks odd from the top.*
Yugi: *concerned* Joey, I don't think we should cook the candy bars.
Joey: Back off, I know what I'm doin'.
Tristan: Yeah, failing!
*Scene: Téa stands in the shower, taking off her clothes.*
Téa: *thinking* Mai sure is a hard gal to read. One minute she's flirting with Joey, and the next she's making passes at me. I just don't know what to think!
*Scene: Mai chats while she stands guard from the boys .*
Mai: I don't see why you even bother hanging out with them!
Téa: That's easy, Mai. They're my best friends.
Mai: Those goofballs? In my experience, their type is only good for moving furniture or fixing cars.
Téa: I, for one, can't picture Yugi ever being much help moving furniture...
*Scene: Téa shrieks, so Mai darts into the shower to check out what's wrong.*
Yugi: Huh? Was that Téa?
Joey: Yeah... hey, where's Mai gone?
Mai: We're in here!
*count one, two, three...*
Joey: *faints*
*Scene: Everyone sits around complimenting the meal.*
Yugi: Not bad. How's yours, Téa?
Téa: Mm, four stars!
Yugi: Speaking of stars, I hear you've won a few, Mai. How many do you have -- eight? Or is it nine?
Mai: Huh. I would have thought at least you would have been able to count, Yugi.
*Scene: Purple eyes meet purple eyes.*
Mai: Huh. Don't think you're going to fool me with your nice guy routine... Yugi.
Yugi: *distressed* I keep telling people, those homicidal streaks aren't my fault!!
*Scene: Mai firmly informs everyone that she's going to the top, no matter what it takes.*
Mai: *stands* Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go for a walk.
Joey: *drools as he looks up* Or ya could just stay right there for a bit.
Tristan: *gaga* Yeah, that'd be fine, too!
Téa: *hefting a mallet* Don't worry, I'll take care of them for you, Mai.
*Scene: The cheerleaders notice that Mai's been gone for a while.*
Joey: It's probably some trap.
*The bushes rustle, and Téa cries out.*
Tristan: *leaping to protect the smaller pair* What was that?
Joey: *same* Yep, bet you she's been waitin' there the whole time.
Téa: What, so she was just trying to trick us into admitting that we care about her? That doesn't seem very likely.
*Scene: Like some great knight of yore, Sir Joseph issues his challenge.*
Joey: Come on out, Mai!
*Bakura steps into the light, looking as subdued as always.*
Yugi: *gasps* It's Bakura!
Tristan: Wow. I didn't know you'd started responding to the name "Mai," Bakura.
Bakura: Learn something new everyday, I guess.
*Scene: Téa happily squeals that she wasn't just fantasizing about her wolf.*
Joey: What are you doing way out here, Bakura?
Bakura: Same as you guys, I guess.
Tristan: Huh? I don't see any dueling glove on you!
Bakura: Neither do I.
Tristan: *sweatdrops* Point taken.
Scene: Bakura takes Mai's place at the campfire.*
Tristan: Joey, you've been staring at that card for like an hour. What's up?
Joey: Well, Yugi and Téa've been doing the same thing with each other, so I figured I had to have somethin' to look at.
*Scene: As if Tristan's words were a release, suddenly everyone is holding a card.*
Joey: The Flame Swordsman kicks everybody's butt! HYAH! *pretends to slash an enemy*
Tristan: *jumps up* Not my guy's! The Cyber Commander!
Téa: You boys and your cards are hilarious!
Bakura: I know. As if the Cyber Commander would have a chance against the Flame Swordsman!
*They both giggle.*
*Scene: Suddenly, Téa is holding Yugi's entire deck, not just her one card.*
Yugi: I think everyone has a card they can identify with. You should see if you can pick one for yourself, Téa.
Téa: Okay. *picks a card from the deck* I pick this one. Magician of Faith.
Yugi: Oh. I would have thought you'd have liked a card from, you know, your own deck. *hastily* But, uh, that's okay! No reason you can't like my cards instead!
*Scene: Discussion of Téa's choice.*
Tristan: What? You gotta be kidding me!
Joey: More like the Magician of Freaks, if you ask me.
Téa: Shut up!
Yugi: *to the cowering boys, who are clutching each other* I've found that when a girl wants your opinion, she'll ask for it.
*Scene: Yugi picks the Dark Magician.*
Téa: Maybe I'm just out of the loop, but don't you guys think it's a little silly to be comparing ourselves to playing cards?
Yugi: Maybe a little, but it's like Grampa says: "It's not about the playing cards, it's about putting a little bit of your heart into anything you really care about." You know?
Téa: Well, but that's just the thing -- it's a card game. It doesn't really matter, in the scheme of things. Shouldn't we be involved with fighting for world peace, or something?
*Bakura suddenly has a very convenient coughing fit.*
*Scene: Yugi returns the favor and queries Bakura's favorite card.*
Yugi: Isn't that the Change of Heart card?
Téa: Aww, I can't believe he was more original than me! Choosing a magic card? That's just not fair! *pouts*
*Scene: Akuma to tenshi.*
Joey: Kind of a weird lookin' picture, doncha think?
Bakura: Not all that much stranger than what the Flame Swordsman is wearing, or what the Dark Magician is doing, in my opinion.
*Scene: Bakura has a knack for ignoring the spoken question.*
Bakura: If you want to see how it works, we could have a duel right now. Not for star chips, just for a little fun.
Joey: Nice as that sounds, I don't think the odds of your happening to draw that one card are really all that high.
Yugi: Ahh, 'course he will, Joey! I mean, things just always work out that way, don't they?
Joey: Yeah, guess you're right, Yuge.
*Scene: Same.*
Bakura: Not for star chips, just for a little fun.
Tristan: Pardon me if I'm wrong, but you don't even have any star chips, do you, Bakura?
Bakura: Well, not as such, no.
*Scene: Staring at the back of Bakura's head some more.*
Joey: After all this star chip stuff, it'll be nice to have a duel with no strings attached.
Bakura: *under breath* Your words, not mine.
*Scene: Bakura's a sly one.*
Bakura: Why don't you guys each put your favorite card into Yugi's deck, so it'll be like we're all playing?
Joey: Yugi's deck? Who said he got to duel ya?
Tristan: Yeah! We've got three duelists here!
Téa: Four!
Yugi: Huh? You want to duel, Téa?
Téa: Well, no, but it seemed like it needed to be said...
*Scene: They all agree with Bakura.*
Yugi: Great! But I should warn you that with this all-star team of cards, we'll be tough to beat!
Téa: *teasing* Yeah, because things like the Cyber Commander add so much!
Tristan: Huh, you should be talking, Magician.
Yugi: Hey! ...oh, wait, you meant her. But still!
Joey: Well, come on, nothing's wimpier than a magic card...
Téa: Says you!
Tristan: Heck yeah!
*Bakura watches in amusement as the others bicker.*
*Scene: I always love watching for the exact moment when Yami Bakura takes over.*
Yami Bakura: Before we get started, there's a little something I'd like to share with you all. And especially with you, Yugi.
Joey: What's that?
Yami Bakura: *chuckles* You'll see. *starts humming*
Téa: *to Yugi* What's he doing?
Joey: This is gettin' freaky!
Yugi: Uh, I think maybe Bakura's always kinda like this?
*Scene: Yami Bakura reveals his perty jewelry.*
Yugi: No! It can't be! A Millennium Item!
Yami Bakura: Yes, and the magic of my Millennium Ring will take us to the Shadow Realm!
Joey: Odd definition of "fun" ya got there, Bakura!
*Scene: Idea by Bronze Eagle.*
Joey: Man, I hate magic!
Yami Bakura: *stops* You what?
Yami Yugi: *takes over* *threatening* Joey...
Joey: *cowers* Uh, don't mind me. Just Joey bein' his normal, goofy self. Didn't mean anything at all by it. Nope, not a thing!
*Scene: If they're going to the Shadow Realm, who's tending the fire?*
Yugi: Why are you doing this, Bakura?
Yami Bakura: You've something I want, Yugi, and I aim to take it!
Yugi: *blinks* "You've?" Who says "you've" in that kind of sentence?
Yami Bakura: Oh, come on, that's nitpicking. This is already the tenth language I've had to learn over my lifetime, you know!
*Scene: The heroes' souls are sealed away. Idea by Bronze Eagle.*
Bakura: *looks around the Shadow Realm, blinking as he suddenly regains control* Don't tell me he tried to seal me into a card again! He can never seem to get that spell quite right.
*Scene: Alright, so Yami Bakura didn't accidentally seal himself away. One could imagine it happening!*
Yami Bakura: *chuckles* That wasn't too difficult.
Bakura: Mm. Reminds one of shooting fish in a barrel, doesn't it?
Yami Bakura: No, but I know what that reminds me of... *seals Bakura away, too, while he's at it*
*Scene: The soullesses' eyes are closed, despite the physical realities of such.*
Yami Bakura: And now, after waiting for countless centuries, the legendary Millennium Puzzle is mine. *leans down to take it, but awakens his fellow Yami* No, it can't be!
Yami Yugi: *standing* You would think that someone so eager to possess all the Items would do a little research first, just to see which of the others also contain trapped spirits.
Yami Bakura: Uh... It's still on my to-do list...