Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Battle City... Cafeteria Style! ❯ Monday ( Chapter 1 )

Aisha: Hello everybody! A while back I had said that I would write a fic about what the YGO characters did during lunch, and well here it is! I hope this is funny!

Side Note: For those of you who read Bound By Our Simple Mistakes I am going to update it soon, I've just been having a little trouble typing the next chapter up. It's coming soon I promise!!!!!!

Disclaimer: I do not own YGO, and if you recognize anything here then it was completely by coincidence. If I stole something from you then my sincerest apologies.

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Battle City… Cafeteria Style!

Summary: Welcome to Domino High school cafeteria! Home of the infamous War of the Quotes! Sit back relax, and watch the weird looks fly!

Chapter1: Monday

Monday, October 12. Fifth period 11:00AM. Domino High School, Cafeteria, table closest to exit.

Bakura: *Sits down, and pokes Malik, who is currently poking Ishtar, who is currently poking his food, which is currently poking back* I declare battle, whoever can come up with the best quote wins.

Malik: You don't stand a chance!

Ishtar: ^_^ *Poke, Poke*

Bakura: Ishtar?

Malik: Don't worry about him, he'll start talking once his food's stopped poking back.

Bakura: o_O;;

Malik: What's wrong?

Bakura: I knew I should have nicked Ryou's lunch!

Yami: *Sits down* And make your poor hikari starve?

Bakura: I like his food, or at least I will once I try this stuff. *Gives food experimental poke*

Yugi, Ryou, Seto: *Sits down*

Yami: *Eyes alight* I heard something about a battle.

Ishtar: ^_^ *Poke Poke*

Ryou: -_-;; Please keep you hands to yourself Ishtar!

Bakura: The Quote War starts now! Whoever comes up with the best quote or weird fact before the weekend wins Ryou's food!

Ryou: HEY!

^*BATTLE START*^

Malik: 3 o'clock is always too early or too late for something you want to do.

Yugi: Too true.

Bakura: 4 food groups: fast, frozen, microwaved, and junk.

Ishtar: *Waves cafeteria tray* What does this stuff fall into?

Bakura: -_-;;

Seto: 13.9 percent of all statistics are incorrect.

Yami: Only you would know something like that.

Ryou: 74% of people surveyed say that 43% of all statistics are useless.

Yami: I stand corrected.

Malik: 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

Seto: Amen. (A/N: Come on he has to deal with a lot of lawyers!)

Bakura: A book is like a leg, only it doesn't bleed as much if you stab it.

Ryou: -_-;;

Ishtar: A cat will blink when struck with a hammer.

Bakura and Yami: *Twitch* (A/N: Cat's were sacred to ancient Egyptians.)

Ishtar: A day without sunshine is like... night.

Bakura: Truly you have a dizzying intellect.

Bakura: A fish has a memory span of 3 seconds.

Yami: How do you know that?

Bakura: Because that's about as long as it lived.

Ryou: Rest in peace Robin the Gold Fish. Poor thing never had a chance really, not with three cats AND Bakura.

Malik: You named a fish Robin?! Like the BIRD??

Ryou: ^_^;;

Ishtar: A good hot dog feeds the hand that bites it.

Ryou: In the immortal words of Homer Simpson: Mmmmmm, hot dogs.

Yami: You watch The Simpsons?

Ryou: Who doesn't?

Malik: I don't!

Bakura: You were also born underground.

Malik: *pouty* So?

Yami: A good pun is its own reword.

Bakura: Stupid Pharaoh, there's no such thing as a good pun!

Yugi: A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.

Yami, Ryou, Seto: *Nod*

All Else: o.O;

Ishtar: A nuclear war can ruin your whole day.

Bakura: I can guess what you're thinking.

Ishtar: You'd be wrong. *Winks at Ryou*

Ryou: o_O

Malik: *Whispers to Bakura* Don't worry, he's just trying to piss you off.

Bakura: Well it's working.

Malik: A penny for your thoughts; $20 to act it out.

All: *Look at Yami's worried* o_O;;

Seto: A penny saved is 2.5 grams of zinc alloy.

Bakura: We're going to have to kill you if you don't come up with anything better.

Ishtar: All colours will agree in the dark.

Yami: You'd know.

Ryou: All that matters is great pizza!

Bakura: *Stomach growls loudly*

Yugi: All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.

All: *Pictures Yugi trying to ski through a revolving door*

Bakura, Malik, and Ishtar: *Burst out laughing*

Seto: Answers: $1, Short: $5, Correct: $25, dumb looks are still free.

Bakura: How true.

Ishtar: Anything that kills you makes you... well, dead.

Ryou: *To Malik* He didn't actually eat the school lunch, did he?

Bakura: Around here, to be nuts is normal, to be sane is stupid.

Ishtar: ^_~

Bakura: o_O;;

Ishtar: As they say... there are other piranhas in the fish tank.

Ryou: Don't you mean there are other fish in the sea?

Ishtar: What's a sea?

Malik: It's a bigger version of a river.

Ishtar: Weird.

Ryou: At least pulling wool over your eyes keeps your face from freezing.

Malik: Half albino, figures. Fair skinned freak.

Bakura: Watch it.

Ryou: I'd like to see you, Mr. Egypt himself, stand winter round here. 'Lot colder then you think.

Yami: Been there, done that, got the T-shirt.

Bakura: *Yawn*

Bakura: Being good at being stupid doesn't count.

Seto: That reminds me, where's the mutt?

Yugi: Must you be so hard on him?

Seto: It's a hobby.

Ryou: He's re-taking a math test right now. He might make it back before the end of the period.

Ryou: Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

All: o_O;;

Ryou: What? It's true!

Malik: Contrary to what most people say, the most dangerous animal in the world is not the lion or the tiger or even the elephant. It's a shark riding on an elephant's back, just trampling and eating everything they see.

Ishtar: We have yet to prove this though. Buying an elephant is proving to be more difficult then originally anticipated.

Ryou: Duct tape is like the Force. It has a dark side, it has a light side, and it holds the Universe together.

Ishtar: What's 'The Force'?

Yami: *Shrugs*

Bakura: I dunno.

Ryou: -_-;

Yugi: It's from a movie. ^_^;

Seto: Due to inflation, all clouds will now be lined with zinc.

Malik: What is it with you and zinc?

Bakura: Due to the outbreak of aids, employees will no longer be permitted to kiss the boss's ass.

Malik: COUGHpharaoh'sassCOUGH

Yugi: Dyslexics against drugs, just say "ON"!

Joey: *Sits down* What did I miss?

Ryou: Bakura started a Quote War.

Bakura: Whoever comes up with the best quote or weird fact before the weekend wins Ryou's food!

Joey: I'm in!!

Ryou: My poor food, I'll just have to make sure not to bring anything good in.

Bakura: I'm privy to your kitchen! None of your food is safe! *Evil laugh*

Ryou: *Shoulders slump*

Yugi: Dyslexics of the world untie!

Malik: Enough with the dyslexics already! You're beginning to sound like Kaiba with his zinc!

Ishtar: Even if you're paranoid, maybe they really *are* after you.

Bakura: *Writing on note pad* Must… destroy… they.

Joey: Everybody looks brave holding a machine gun.

Ryou: *Nod, Nod*

Ryou: Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

Bakura: COUGHpharaohCOUGH.

Seto: Everyone has a right to be stupid. Some just abuse the privilege. *Pointed look at Joey*

Joey: *growls*

Ishtar: Everyone loves a moose. Some just don't know it.

Joey: o_O; You are so weird.

(A/N: Dumb like a Moose Dib, dumb like a Moose.)

Malik: Experiments should be reproducible: they should all fail in the same way.

Ryou: My, aren't we optimistic.

Yami: The bell's gonna ring soon.

Bakura: Alright we'll carry on in study hall.

*Bell Rings*

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Aisha: So what do you think? Should I continue the story, or give up?