Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Because I Can! ❯ The insanity hath begun... ( Chapter 1 )

Because We Can!

*anything other than speech or thought*

/thoughts/

*On a bright, shiny day, in front of a huge stone castle, a neon blue portal appears (courtesy of Chrono Trigger). Out of it run Yami and Legolas screaming their heads off in fear. Shortly after, Angel Weasel-Woman and Shaenaur appear, chasing the two hot guys.*

Angel: ♥o♥ Come back! *chase*

Shaenaur: *runs with Angel*

Yami and Legolas *scream*

*After a long and pointless chase, Angel finally decides to use her wings and quickly catches up. Minutes later, as Angel is suffocating her victim,Shaenaur finally arrives, panting heavily. She sees Angel sitting on Legolas's back while holding Yami in a headlock, crushing his windpipe, cuddling him as though he can breathe.*

Angel: Sweet d---! I'm getting some lovin' tonight!

Yami: O______o;;; *struggles with renewed strength*

Legolas: *snickers* Sucks to be you!

Shaenaur: *calmly walks over to Angel. Pausing a moment, she suddenly shoves the winged weasel furry off Legolas, who quickly scurries into a near-by bush, afraid for his life and semi-innocent eyes.*

Angel: *accidentally releases Yami from her death grip*

Yami: *panicked, he scurries over to a bush next to Legolas*

Angel: Yami-sama! Come back! *to Shaenaur* You let him get away! ;__; Waa!!

Shaenaur: Would you prefer him to die? He was blue!

Angel: *sniffle* He was…?

Shaenaur: *facefault* What are you - color-blind?!

Angel: If it makes you less embarrassed, then yes. Yes I am.

Shaenaur: -_-;

Bushes: *"discreet" rustling (read: shaking wildly from side to side)*

Yami: Wait up you pointy-eared freak! I don't want to get caught either!

Shaenaur and Angel exchange "you thinking what I'm thinking?" glances.

*Shaenaur silently, yet swiftly stalks to the quaking bushes and peers through a small gap in the leaves. She sees Legolas creeping silently through the underbrush. Her heart pounds and a slight blush tints her cheeks. His handsome beauty captivates her and the world is forgotten for a moment.*

Yami: *choke* Help! *gasp*

*Then Shaenaur looks to her right and sees that Yami has caught his neck-belt on a bush, choking him (not to mention completely ruining the mood).*

Shaenaur: ¬_¬;

*She creeps over to Yami and notes that his eyes are bulged - whether it is from lack of air and pressure on his neck or the fear of seeing her, she is not sure. Either way, she frees Yami from the bush's snare and the blue coloring recedes. Fearfully, the two males stare at her, unsure of what to do. Shaenaur then tilts her head in a "go on" motion. Full of gratitude, the two mouth "thank you" and bolt in fear of Angel finding them.*

Angel: *crashes through the bushes and looks around* Shea-chan! Where did Yami-sama go-oo?

Shaenaur: *sigh* He decided that this isn't a very good place to occupy.

Angel: *is silent for a full minute (a truly incredible feat)* … So… where day go?

Shaenaur: *facefaults; stands and points in the general direction of the two*

Angel: Kwaa!! *grabs Shaenaur and bolts off*

*After a bit, Shaenaur finally beats Angel off her arm, thus knocking her to the ground, which, in turn, caused over tem minutes of her wailing and rambling on about the medical uses of cheese. Grateful for the pause, Shaenaur looked about, trying to figure out just where the h--- Angel had dragged her to. She notices a shoe in a patch of sand a bit off.*

Shaenaur: *points; exasperated* Hey, Angel! Guess who that belongs to!

Angel: *stops crying immediately* Yami-sama's shoe! Gimme! *flings self at the shoe and crushes it in a hug; begins sinking*

Shaenaur: *slaps forehead and sighs at Angel's stupidity* Angel. Look around! Does anything seem different all of a sudden?

Angel: *already half-way sunk in the quicksand; looks up from the shoe* Hey Shae-chan… Did you grow…?

Shaenaur: -_-; No you baka furry! You're in quicksand!

Angel: *blank stare* … Wha…?

Shaenaur: *facefault* You're going to drown in sand!

Angel: *now up to her chest in sand* Mwizzle?

Shaenaur: Angel no baka! You're going to die and never see Yami again if you don't set out of that sand!

Angel: *up to her armpits in quicksand* Yami-sama! *flails madly*

Shaenaur: *sigh; pulls a large branch off a nearby tree* Grab on to this stick.

Angel: *snickers* Stick… *does so, still giggling pervertedly*

*Shaenaur pulls as hard as she can, but can not get Angel out. She glares into the branches of a nearby tree.*

Shaenaur: Would you two mind getting out of that tree and helping me!?!

*Legolas climbs out of the tree with a sheepish smile on his face. Behind him, Yami falls out of the tree in a tangle of branches and leaves.*

Angel: *now up to her neck in quicksand* Yami-sama! Help me you hottie!

Yami: *blushes; avoids eye contact with the two elves*

Legolas: *smacks Yami on the back of the head* Cut it out!

Angel: *somehow points at Legolas* Evil!

Legolas: -_-; *to Yami* Guess we have to help. Come on.

Shaenaur: *still holding branch* About time! Geeze!

*Legolas and Yami (in that order) stand in front of Shaenaur and grab the branch.*

Shaenaur: Alright, on three. *pauses for effect* One…two…three!

*All pull at the same time, slowly dragging Angel out of the quicksand and into a huge mud puddle.*

Angel: You guys s---! *lets go of the branch suddenly*

*Legolas falls backwards and lands on Shaenaur. Yami tries to stay standing, but falls on his butt anyway.*

Shaenaur: /Note to self - do not complain…/

Angel: Oogy! Mud!

Yami: *stands up and brushes himself off; walks over to Angel and roughly hauls her to her feet* You okay?

Angel: ♥o♥ Yami! *crushes his windpipe in a hug*

Yami: *choke* Nice… *gasp* to see you too… *wheeze* Angel…

Meanwhile.............

Legolas: *gets up quickly* I-I'm s-sorry. I mean to fall on you like that. *makes like a gentleman and helps Shaenaur up*

Shaenaur: /D--- it!/ Don't worry about it. I'm not mad.

*Shaenaur takes one step and falls to the ground because her ankle suddenly hurt. She cries out in pain and surprise. Legolas kneels down beside her with a worried look on his face.*

Legolas: Are you okay?

Shaenaur: I think my ankle's broken.

*Legolas gently feels Shaenaur's ankle for breaks.*

Shaenaur: /Happy day! Yay!/ *makes a point of whimpering every so often*

Legolas: *finishes and looks to Shaenaur with a relieved look on his face* It's not broken, just sprained. But I don't think you should walk for a while.

Shaenaur: *puts on her best pathetic look* But how will I get around then?

Legolas: I don't really…

Angel: *suddenly lets go of Yami and plops down* I don't feel like moving on my own any more. *to Yami* Carry me, hottie!

Yami: But your covered in mud!

Angel: Do it now!

Yami: But-

Angel: Do it!

Yami: But-

Angel: Now!

Yami: Alright! *kneels down so Angel can climb onto his back*

Angel: *does her little happy dance while still sitting* Yay!

Shaenaur: *embarrassed giggle* ^_^;;

Legolas: O_o; *turns to Shaenaur* Is she always like this?

Shaenaur: Even in her sleep. ¬_¬;;;

Legolas: *thoughtful sigh* But I guess that is a good idea…

*Shaenaur looks up, half-confused, half-hopeful. Legolas, much to her glee, picks her up and holds her to himself almost as if to protect her.*

Shaenaur: /I never thought I'd say this, but thank you, Angel!/

Angel: *points in the direction of quicksand* Onward, Yami-sama!

Yami: But that's quicksand! You nearly died in it!

Angel: I said "onward" you hot mule!

*Yami sighs and goes in the opposite direction Angel wants him to.*

Angel: Hey! I wanted to go that way! *points to quicksand*

Everyone else: No!

Angel: *pouts; cuddles closer to Yami* But I wanna…

Shaenaur: *sigh* Angel, do you WANT Yami to die?

Angel: *whimper; strangle-hugs Yami* No.

Shaenaur: Fine. Then we go that way. *points away from quicksand*

Angel: *pouty* O-key-day…

*Suddenly, for no apparent reason, a gigantamus cockroach (about ten feet long) scampers out of a patch of trees. Angel spies it first and screams bloody murder right in Yami's ear.*

Angel: IEEEEEEE!!!!

*The two males unceremoniously drop the two girls.*

Shaenaur: *surprised squeak as she lands*

Angel: *clutches tail* Itai! My butt! *notices Yami step forward, ready to beat the c--- out of the giant roach* What are you doing Yami-sama?!

Yami: Well, I have to protect you two.

Angel: Iie! *wraps arms suddenly around Yami's knees, causing him to fall flat on his face* Don't risk your life to save both of us! Just me! >______________<

Shaenaur: Traitor!

Angel: No traitor! Selfish!

Shaenaur: D--- you!

Angel: *bleats*

*Yami finally manages to kick Angel off him. He sees that Legolas has been pelting the nasty bug with a never-ending supply of arrows from a quiver and bow that appeared out of a Magic Knight Rayearth glove thingy that they just now noticed he had and attached themselves to him. Yami takes out his Duel Monsters deck and draws a random card.*

Yami: *without looking at the card* I summon… *in as loud a voice as possible* the BLACK MAGICIAN!!!!

Black Magician: *does not appear*

*All present (including the roach and several random woodland creatures) stop in the middle of what they are doing (causing several birds to fall out of the air) and stare at Yami.*

Yami: ^^;; *starts banging the card against a tree* I *smack* summon *hit* the *throw; in uber-loud voice* BLACK MAGICIAN!!!!

Angel: Yami-sama… That's not the Black Magician…

Yami: ¬_¬;;; …I knew that. *flips through deck; actually looks at the card* NOW I summon the *glances at card again just to make sure* Black Magician!

Black Magician: *appears*

Yami: Now, go and…help…?

Cockroach: *already had it's a-kicked and is no longer there*

Legolas: *now has many cuts/bruises/painful markings* Took ya long enough!! *mutters* Stupid human…

Angel: *chucks a rock at Legolas* Evil!

Rock: *hits Legolas square in the forehead*

Legolas: *falls over backwards* X_@

Black Magician: *snicker*

Shaenaur: *now uber-p-----; starts beating the s--- out of Angel*

Angel: Yami-sama! Help!

Yami: *looks to Black Magician* Mind helping?

Black Magician: *shrug* I'll do it myself. *steps foreword and smacks the two girls on the head with his staff, knocking them out* Stop.

Yami: …Nice.

*Long awkward pause. Yami and the Black Magician appear to be thinking.*

Legolas: *regains consciousness and groans* Ugh…

*At the same time, Angel and Shaenaur regain consciousness. They stare into the nothingness in front of them. They then glare at each other out of the corner of their eyes.*

Shaenaur: *growls* Grr…

Angel: *Chewbacca noise* Mmmrrrrr…

Males: *stare at the girls* ¬.¬;;

Yami: *holds up a blank card in the Black Magician's general direction* Okay. Time to go back.

Black Magician: Uh… I've been trying to ever since I KOed those two. *points to growling girls*

Yami: *facefault; hastily gets back up* Why didn't you tell me?!

Black Magician: *nervously/embarrassedly rubs the back of his head* Heh heh… Good question…

Legolas: *looks to the Black Magician* Great… Just what I need right now… A giant person…

*The girls stop growling.*

Shaenaur: So… How do we plan on getting to, you know, civilization?

*plot hole opens up*

Angel: How 'bout that? *points to plot hole*

Everyone: Okay. *jumps through*

Awright!

Shaenaur and Angel: The insanity has begun! *laugh evilly*

Yami and Legolas: *whimper*

Angel: We don't own YuugiOu -

Shaenaur: Nor Lord of the Rings.

Angel and Shaenaur: *huggles respective bishonen* No matter how much we wish it wasn't so.

Angel: We hope to see you next chappy!

Shaenaur: So, ja ne, for now!