Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Bloopers ❯ Bloopers for Ch 1 ( Chapter 1 )

Frazzle: So… I've decided to get the Bloopers out earlier than expected.

Malik: *whispers* She's been holding off her schoolwork for this…

Frazzle: HEY! >_>

Malik: ^^;

Frazzle: Oh well. Who ever said a little break from real life would hurt? Please read and review! Thankies! Each chapter of the Bloopers will be a chapter from one of my stories! =)

Story: Everything I've Ever Wanted

Chapter: Chapter 1 - You Drive Me Crazy -

Title: **Tar, Anyone?**

Yami gulped down the aspirin in one big motion, then stood staring at the mirror in front of him.

Yami: *starts to choke and gag, as his face turns a dark blue* What… the… HELL… did I just… TAKE?!

Bakura: *whistles innocently from off-stage with a bottle of tar-flavored M&Ms behind his back*

Frazzle: Hey! No poisonous edibles on stage, Bakura!!

Bakura: *snickers* Too late. ^_^

Yami: X_X

Title: **TurkeyTrouble**

Yami: "What are you looking at!? Don't look at me like I'm crazy! I can't help it if I like the guy, alright?! I just can't tell him! Why not? Did you just ask me why NOT?" Yami pounced on to the sink's counter and glared at his reflected image, nose barely touching the mirror. "Because… Seto is not gay! Who in their right mind would think Seto is gay?!" Yami's arms started to flap everywhere upon each word he spoke. Suddenly, a herd of horny turkeys barged through the bathroom door, flocking around the Pharaoh.

Turkey #1: *pecks at Yami's hair*

Yami: OUCH! …Wha? What the fuck…!?

Turkey #2: … *starts pecking at Yami's nose and ears* Bawk BAAAAAWK!!!!

Yami: AAHH!! My precious body parts!!!  *frantically tries to push all the turkeys away*

Turkey #3: *walks over to Yami's private area* …B-Bawk…? ::chomp::

Yami: … *starts to twitch violently* AAAAAIIIIIIIEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

All males present in room: *winces* >_< Owie…

Bakura: Now that's what I call pain…

Yami: @_@

Turkey #3: ^____^

Title: **Mirror Friend**

Yami: "Oh. One more thing..." Yami put his face up to the mirror once again, and pointed an index finger at his image. "I'm not finished with you. Do you hear me? I don't like Kaiba, alright? ALRIGHT?! So stop looking at me like I do!! Hey, are you even LISTENING TO ME!?"

Mirror: YES, alright!? SO STOP YELLING AT ME ALREADY!!! You'd think I'd go DEAF by now!!

Yami: *eyes widen in horror* A… A… A talking mirror!!! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!! THE NEXT HITLER!!!!!!!! EVERYBODY, EVACUATE!!!!!!!! *runs through the closed bathroom door, leaving a Yami-shaped hole*

Mirror: *sigh* I'm so misunderstood…

Title: **Mirror Friend… Continued**

Yami: *is nowhere to be seen*

Mirror: *is playing with the toilet flusher* Wheeee!

Yugi: *comes into the room* Um… where's Yami? It's his line.

Mirror: Ah, who knows. He ran out of here some time ago. *continues to play with the flusher* Aaaaah… *_*

Yugi: O.O Oh…kay then… *turns around quickly to run out of the room, but stops right in front of the door with the Yami-shaped hole* …DAMMIT YAMI, THAT'S THE FIFTH ONE THIS WEEK!! *stomps out of the bathroom and into the bedroom*

Yami: *walks into the bedroom* Crap!! *quickly turns around once he sees Yugi*

Yugi: *grabs a hold of Yami's ear* IT'S BACK TO THE MILLENNIUM PUZZLE FOR YOU, DOOR BUSTER!! At least THERE you won't ruin my HOUSE!

Yami: *hates being dragged* Owowowowow!!!! X_X

Meanwhile…

Mirror: *continues to play with the toilet, flushing it almost 30 times now* Flushy, flushy, flushy, flushy, flushy!  ^______^

Toilet: Oh Ra, help me…

Title: **Slut Forecaster**

Lady: "Today in Japan we are seeing rain, rain, rain. But tomorrow look forward to sun, sun, sun! It's going to be so fun, fun, FUN!"

Other Weather Forecasters Off-Set: *snicker uncontrollably*

Lady: And-… Hey, what's so funny?!

Camera: *zooms in on the annoying woman's ass to reveal a gigantic red stain*

Lady: …*screeches loud enough to break glass* AAAAAHHHHH!!!! My skirt!!! My WHITE skirt!!!!!! *runs around the stage screaming at the top of her lungs, until she trips over a microphone cord, falling flat on her face*

Everyone on Set: *laughs hysterically*

Yami Malik: *whistles innocently off-stage holding a bucket of red paint behind his back* ^_^

Other Weather Forecasters Off-Stage: *whispers* She does know this is LIVE, right?

Frazzle: Shh. Don't spoil it! >=D

Ryou: …But Ma'am!

Bakura: See? I told you she had an evil side. *laughs menacingly*

Ryou: O.o;

Bakura: HAHAHAH-…*cough* Yeah…

Title: **Unexpected Confessions**

Yugi: "Yami!" Yugi called out once more. "I just asked if you were alright! Your face is bright red! Are you catching a fever?" Yugi's lavender eyes rounded to an even bigger size.

Yami: "Yes, uh... I'm fine, Yugi." Yami stumbled on his words. There was a short pause, then Yami suddenly fell to his knees, clutching Yugi's hand for dear life. "Actually, NO dammit, I'm NOT alright!! Do you have ANY idea how PAINFUL it is to be horny on stage? Do ya?? DO ya?!?! *looks down at Seto groping his ass*

Frazzle: O.O Erm… CUT!!!!

Seto: *stops groping Yami* H-Hey! Don't look at me! Uh… *runs off stage awkwardly, almost falling over a stray puppy*

Yugi: --;

Frazzle: I knew there was something wrong with that guy…

Title: **…Lube?**

Yugi: "Yami!" Yugi called out once more. "I just asked if you were alright! Your face is bright red! Are you catching a fever?" Yugi's lavender eyes rounded to an even bigger size.

Yami: "Yes, uh.. I'm fine, Yugi." Yami stumbled on his words.

Yugi: "Are you sure? It sounded like you were screaming at someone."

Yami: I'm fine. I was just, uh… *scrounges frantically around in his pockets for something* Now where IS it…

Yugi: O.o

Yami: *pulls out a bottle of chocolate-flavored lube* Aaaaah… Here it is! ^_^ I was just practicing my new lube… So I'm kind of worn out. That's why my face is so red.

Yugi: O_O !!!

Seto: …Chocolate lube…? Sounds like a new flavor! We should… try it out. >=D

Yami: ^_____^

Frazzle: -_-; Oi! CUT!!

Title: **Screaming Frenzy**

Yugi: "Yami!" Yugi called out once more. "I just asked if you were alright! Your face is bright red! Are you catching a fever?" Yugi's lavender eyes rounded to an even bigger size.

Yami: "Yes, uh.. I'm fine, Yugi." Yami stumbled on his words.

Seto: *starts to moan and scream off stage, sounding like some sex-craving animal*

Yugi: "Are you sure? It sounded like you were screaming at... what the fuck?"

Yami: *sighs* Ok, so I admit! Seto and I were having sex, dammit!! So sue me!!

Seto: Okay! *runs onto the stage grabbing Yami, then tosses him over his shoulders* On to the bedroo-I mean, the court room! *runs maniacally off the stage and out the Exit doors, laughing like a retard*

Yugi: *stands there* …You know what, I'm not EVEN going to comment on that one.

Title: **Ice Cream Break-In**

Yugi: "Well, whatever, I wanted to tell you something! Guess who just called!?" Yugi started jumping up and down, with a huge smile plastered on his face.

Yami: "…The ice cream man?" Yami said, mockingly.

Yugi: No, silly! Joey jus- *a random ice cream truck bursts through the front door of Yugi's house, pulling to a screeching stop right in front of Yami*

Ice Cream Man: *in a southern accent* Howdy partner! Did someone say iiiiiiice cream?

Yami: HELL yeah! Now THAT'S what I call SERVICE!! :-D

Yugi: … *starts to twitch* THAT'S IT…!!! I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF MY DOORS BEING BROKEN!!! YOU'RE GOING TO THE SHADOW REALM, MR. ICE CREAM DUDE!!! *snatches the man by his ear lobe and drags him away*

Ice Cream Man: AAHH!! KILLER TRI-COLOR-HAIRED BOY ON THE LOOSE!! SOMEONE… HELP MEEEEEEEE!!!!! OWOWOWOWOW!!!!! @__@

Yami: *picks up a vanilla ice cream cone and calmly licks it* Welcome to my world.

Title: **Accidents Happen**

Mokuba: "You're such a mean brother!"

Seto: "Mokuba, I said I was sorry! Please, just come here!" Seto almost tripped over a Batman action figure lying carelessly on the ground. "Mokuba-Oof…" *falls over a table and knocks off a flower vase full of water, which crashes onto the floor on top of Mokuba's toy robot*

Robot named Zim: Warning. Warning. H2O detected. Malfunction occurring. T-minus 5 seconds until detonation.

Seto: *rubs his head* Ugh… W-Wha…? D-DETONATION!?!?

Robot: 5……… 4……… 3………

Mokuba: ACK! *takes cover behind the couch*

Seto: *looks frantically around for a place to hide, but fails to pin-point a secure place*

Robot: 2……… 1………

Seto: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Robot: *BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!*

*a few minutes go by, and the gray smoke eventually clears*

Mokuba: *slowly pulls his head up from behind the couch* S-Seto…? You alright…?

Seto: X___X *coughcough* S-stupid… robot…

Robot… or what's left of It: Har. Har. Harhar…… Har.

Mokuba: Ugh… I knew I should have got a board game for Christmas instead… --;

Title: **Big Brothers Are Mean**

Seto: "I said I'd give you another box of Chunky Monkey ice cream if you would just SETTLE DOWN!" But yelling did not stop the wailing Mokuba. Come to think of it, I can barely think of anything that can stop that kid once he is on one of his hyper sprees.

Mokuba: "But yooou aaate myyyy iceee creeeeam…AH! Big Brother, what are you doing?!" Mokuba was being held upside down by Seto Kaiba. "Let me go!"

Seto: …Okay! *drops Mokuba on his head* …Eh heh… Oops…

Mokuba: @_@

Yami Malik: And I thought I was hostile.

Title: **Surprise, Surprise!**

And with a big sigh, Seto turned over in his large bed, pulling the silk sheets over his pale body, and drifting off into a dream where there was nothing but the face of Yami.

Seto: *twitches slightly and creeps up an eyelid to see Yami right in his face* Um… Yami… What are you doing?

Yami: You're supposed to have a dream where there's nothing but the face of me.

Seto: *sweatdrops* …I think you're taking things a little TOO literally…

Yami: What? Why? What's wrong with my face? Oh my Ra DO I HAVE A ZIT!?! PLEASE PLEASE PLEEEEASE SAY I DON'T HAVE A ZIT!!!!! *dashes into Kaiba's bathroom and slams the door*

Seto: *shakes head and sighs* Why I love him, I'll never know… -_-

**END**

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Frazzle: Well, that's the end of Chapter 1 Bloopers. Chapter 2 Bloopers will be up shortly.

Yami: IS IT STILL THERE!? HUH!?!?! IS IT!??!?!!? PLEASE… SAY I DON'T HAVE A ZIT!!! Ah! AHH!! Get it off!!! GET IT OFF!!!! *starts clawing at his face desperately*

Yugi: For Ra's sake, Yami, you don't have a zit!!!

Yami: *stops* …Oh. I knew that.

Everyone: *falls anime style*