Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Catagelophobia ❯ Chapter 1

Hello~! I decided to take a break from writing Staring to write a oneshot for a contest. This was the end result.

Ryou hated days like today.

The air outside chilled him to the bone, and the freezing November rain only helped the process along. Ryou pulled his paper thin, light blue jacket closer to his shivering body, giving a shaky sigh as he realized how little good it was doing him. His tiny apartment was still at least five minutes away, and the rain was showing no sign of letting up.

And yet, this wasn't what made this day terrible. Or any of the days during that rainy week, for that matter. It was-

Yadonushi. A cold voice in the back of his mind, eerily similar to his own, had returned. They hurt you again.

Ryou gritted his teeth, hoping to simultaneously end the cold and the spirit. “I'm fine, Bakura.” The words, however, were spoken with a tinge of uncertainty, Ryou's true thoughts shining through his words. They had hurt him, not with fists, but with words. Words that were colder than the falling rain, stinging him like ice. It terrified him, really, the idea that simple words could hurt him this much, although the fear paled in comparison to what he thought of what they said.

You don't seem fine, yadonushi. Judging by what I can see, you're terrified right now. Terrified that it's going to happen again. When Ryou didn't respond right away, Bakura let out the smallest of cruel laughs.

Don't think for even a second that I haven't seen your thoughts before, he said. When one shares a mind with another for so long, it's only a matter of time before their thoughts become one as well.

“…I'm not scared,” Ryou muttered, after a few moments of silence. “I-if I was scared of them, I would have skipped school today.”

Yadonushi, you and I both know that you seriously considered it this morning.

Ryou was, once again, at a loss for words. He quickened his pace, sloshing through large, deep puddles. He would be home soon, free from the coldness that constantly surrounded him…

What if I said that I wasn't looking down upon you? Ryou paused in his tracks for a fraction of a second, surprised by the spirit's words. Everyone looked down upon him. Everyone had something to say about him. Whether it was his long, white hair (You dye it, don't you?) his feminine physique (Are you sure you're a guy?), or his shy demeanor (Why don't you talk more?), people didn't see Ryou Bakura without having something to say.

“You're a liar,” Ryou whispered. “You're the evil one. You are the last person who would have something nice to say about me.” This was it. Bakura was mocking him, luring him closer with a false hope. But he was just like everyone else, tearing away his self esteem layer by layer, waiting until there was nothing left-

I'll prove it to you, Yadonushi. I'll prove to you that I'm not taking advantage of you. All you need to do is let me take control of our body for a bit. Can you do that?

“Yes,” Ryou said, almost instinctively. This could be his one and only chance to find out that someone did care, didn't see him as a weak person to make fun of.

Heh heh… then go to sleep now, Yadonushi…

That was when everything went fuzzy around the edges before slowly fading to black.

Xxx

He was still cold and wet when he woke up, however much time later. His yami had taken no time to change him out of his soaked clothes, a fact he realized with a grimace and a shiver. But he was at least indoors now, where the wind couldn't blow. And, more importantly, where no one's words could reach him.

It must have been early morning, judging by the bright light streaming in through the curtains. Ryou rubbed at his eyes, hoping to adjust them more quickly. With the white and red walls, light was reflected quite easily-

Wait.

White.

And red.

Red.

That was when Ryou screamed. A small chuckle resonated in the back of his mind once again.

I see you've noticed, yadonushi. The spirit's voice was slow, mocking.

“Y-you…”

Like you expected anything different. But now you trust me, correct?

“They… you… how…” Ryou couldn't form a coherent sentence, instead stuttering over his words.

Don't worry. They're all dead, I checked. Another laugh, this one much stronger. You're safe now. Safe from all those hurtful words, the ones that you despised so much.

“But… this is so…”

You're pathetic, yadonushi. Ryou's body tensed instantly, the spirit's words sending a sick feeling through him. Why are you acting disgusted? Is it because of your weak mind? You can't handle the blood, is that it? In that case, aren't you only a weak little girl?

“Shut up.” Ryou's hands clenched his hair as tightly as they could, eyes wide with fear. “Shut up, shut up, you're no better than them, shut up.”

Finally standing up for ourselves, are we? The spirit's voice grew more condescending with every word. I must say, I'm impressed. I never expected someone as weak-minded as you to do anything more than sit and take it.

“I-I'm not… weak…”

Say it like you mean it.

Ryou tried to say it, but the truth was, the spirit was right. He was weak, pathetic, just like everyone said. He couldn't possibly deny it now. The evidence was stacked against him, and nobody would be willing to prove him wrong.

“I'm weak, then!” Ryou shouted, the shivering starting to overtake his body once again. “Is that what you want to hear?” He couldn't help it. Tears sprung from his eyes, and were quickly rubbed away, although Ryou didn't see a point to it. All they were was a physical manifestation of his weakness.

“I'm weak, I-I'm so pathetic. I can't even handle people's words, simple words. I let them hurt me, I let you hurt me.”

I did nothing to hurt you. I improved your life. I got rid of every last one of them, all the people who did hurt you. So why would you place blame on me?

“You're no different from any of them. You think just of little of me as they do, don't you?” Ryou brought his knees up to his chest. “And… as little of me as I think of myself.” The last part was spoken in a whisper, as though that would make it any less clear to the spirit.

You have to be kidding. How do you want me to answer that?

“With the truth.”

You should know better than to ask this of me, yadonushi. The first thing you should know about me is that I say what I want, when I want. Truth or not.

“If you can't answer my question, then you're no different from the rest of them. “

I am. And since you didn't like my previous attempt to show you, then perhaps I need to go with my second plan.

“Why would I-“

I'll need your body again. He laughed. Just one more time.

“No,” Ryou said, doing his best to keep his voice steady. “You've caused enough damage as it is. I won't let you ruin my life anymore.”

Hmm? Fighting back, are we? How cute. Well, I'm not an unreasonable person, contrary to popular belief. So let's make a deal. I get control of our body for a little while, and you still get to see what is happening. I may have never done it before, but trust me, it is possible.

“And how do I know whether I can trust you? I placed my trust in you once, Bakura, and you ruined it for yourself. How do I know that you aren't planning to do it again?”

Trust me. I know you can do it.

“I-“

Do it.

Ryou sighed. What choice did he have but to give in? “As long as I don't have to sleep again.”

Not a problem. And then, there was nothing. Ryou knew he was there, he could still see everything. The rest of his senses were completely numb, given over to the dark spirit inside of him. He tried to move his body, any part of it, even just the lift of a finger would be fine. But nothing happened. He had let the spirit take control yet again. It was like they had all said- he was weak, easily manipulated.

Whatever Bakura was planning, he most likely deserved it.

Ryou could only watch in a mixture of fascination and terror as “he” rose, striding past the mutilated bodies as though they weren't there. Stepping over them, he made his way into the kitchen.

But it wasn't Bakura's nonchalant way of walking past the corpses, or even the fact that he had no control over what was about to happen that disturbed him the most. No, the worst part was the object he saw in his hand.

“You aren't… you wouldn't…” Ryou laughed nervously.

Do I look like I'm kidding, yadonushi? Ryou flinched at the venom in the words. Words. Words. What he was going to do to him paled in comparison to how hurt he had been by their words. If this plan of the spirit's went successfully- and knowing Bakura, it would- the circle would be complete. He would have been cut to the bone, both mentally and physically.

But still, this could be his chance. This may be his last chance to prove that he wasn't weak. He could stand up, this one last time.

“So this is it? You're going to kill me now?” It took all of his mental strength to make his voice loud and clear, with no stuttering. “Fine. Do it. But where are you going to go, Bakura? I thought you still needed my body.”

Another cruel, cold laugh came from the back of his mind. But yadonushi, that is where you're wrong. I'm not mortal, like you are. All I need to do is find a new host. Preferably one much less weak and pathetic than you. I can live forever, yadonushi, and that is the key difference between you and me. So I'm going to think of this as an opportunity. You see, if I get rid of you, I'll finally be free of this useless body, and I'll be able to find a better one.

When he was called “weak and pathetic,” Ryou lost any confidence he had managed to build up. Even at the end, his yami was still going to torment him. He knew how much words hurt the boy, and he clearly intended to use this knowledge to his full advantage.

You're weak! One slash across his arm.

Pathetic! Another slash.

Worthless! Another.

It went on like this for what felt to Ryou like hours. Bakura screamed out every insult he could think of, running the blade across Ryou's arm once for every word. Ryou couldn't feel the pain on his arm, but he couldn't imagine it being nearly as bad as the pain from those words.

Eventually, the torture finally stopped. The knife clattered to the ground, skidding through a puddle of fresh blood. I'll be kind, now, and let you experience your final moments. Ryou blinked, and the numbness faded away instantly. Instead, it was replaced by a throbbing pain down his entire left arm, one so intense that he fell to his knees.

“Ba…ku…ra…” he whispered. As his yami had promised, his strength was fading away, more quickly by the second. This was truly it. He was going to die, now. Would his friends notice that he was gone? Would anyone? Eventually, someone would find him, along with the rest of the bodies scattered across the living room floor. There would be an investigation, but no one would ever know the truth. Ryou laughed softly at the reality of things. He had prayed and prayed for a release from the torture of their words, and now it was finally granted to him.

In a way, Ryou thought, as his consciousness began to fade, it had been Bakura's final service to him. He would never be tormented again.

Xxx

You thought you could escape that easily? Stupid yadonushi.

As long as you're in hell, you can never escape me, the darkness.

What? You say you never did anything wrong? Of course you did. As long as blood stains your hands, you are sent to hell. It's a simple rule of life and death.

Their words will always be with you.

Xxx

That actually turned out slightly different than I had intended. But I still like it. Kind of.

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