Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Change of Heart ❯ Change of Heart ( Chapter 1 )

Disclaimer: Yu-gi-oh non mea, viditis? Non mea! Minime sue! [grin]

A/N: Remind me again why, exactly, I'm even bothering to post this here? .........[sweatdrop]......... I AM FOREVER SHAMED! Hmm... [sweatdrop]... Okay, yeah, I really am forever shamed. Sigh. But it gets better, honest it does! Around chapter three or four, something like that, y'know, I'm sure you've heard this all before so you know the drill... Hey, it's not my fault; it was only the second fic I ever wrote! (Then who's fault...?) (Shut up, stupid inner voice!) And for the first chapter or two I didn't even have a clue where I was going with it! And I think even my first fic was better than this crap!!! .........LOL, I wonder if I've scared everyone off yet? I get the feeling the only people left are those of you who now want to read it just out of morbid curiosity. But oh well; even if that's the only reason you're reading, enjoy!

/Bubblebunny/ Ryou (through link)

//Bubblebunny// Bakura (through link)

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Chapter One: Change of Heart

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"No; stop... please," Ryou half-sobbed.

Bakura snarled angrily. "You're such a weakling," he accused, kicking him one last time. "Fine; you're starting to annoy me. I'm going to get something to eat."

Ryou lay on the floor still curled up in a ball, crying quietly. It was so unfair... Why did his yami hate him so much? The part that truly frightened him, though, was that he just couldn't return the feeling. There was something about him... Even though he insulted him and hurt him... Abused him physically and mentally...

Slowly, an idea formed in his mind. He had thought about it many times before, and it still terrified him. But laying there, he finally realized that it was the only thing he could do now. He had long since admitted to himself that he had feelings for his yami, but he was well aware of the fact that the feelings would never be returned. It seemed so twisted, but he just couldn't help it.

Slowly, he got up, and went to the bathroom. He turned on the water so Bakura would think he was cleaning himself up...

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Bakura rolled his eyes, listening to the sink upstairs as he dug around in the fridge. "Big baby," he muttered to himself. "I barely touched him..."

Suddenly, like a sharp jolt, he sensed danger. He stood up so fast that he hit his head on the fridge, and groaned. He quickly returned his senses to that feeling, however... He frowned.

`What the hell?' he wondered. `I would have heard if someone else had come inside; it's just me and Ryou...'

His frown deepened. Hardly thinking about what he was doing, he went upstairs and stood outside the bathroom. He opened his mouth to say something, but he hesitated. `Hold on...' he thought angrily. `What do I care about that idiot?'

"Go away, Bakura," Ryou said dully, startling the yami. "I know you're out there..."

"Excuse me?" Bakura said, irritated. "Last I checked, you don't order me around."

There was a moment of silence. "Go away," Ryou said again, this time sounding like he was on the verge of tears.

"What are you doing in there?" Bakura demanded. "Trying to dry up a spring? I know you're not just cleaning up."

"Damn you!" Ryou shouted, shocking Bakura so much that he took an involuntary step back. Ryou never swore... "Why won't you just leave me alone?!"

Bakura gritted his teeth, trying to telling himself that he was pissed as he tried the doorknob. It was locked. `Pathetic,' he thought. The millennium ring glowed, and a moment later the knob turned freely. `What the fuck am I doing...?' he wondered as he opened it. The thought abruptly disappeared, however, when he saw Ryou.

"What the fuck are you doing?!" he shouted. Ryou, startled, dropped the razor he had been holding next to his wrist. It fell to the floor with a clatter, and Bakura lunged for it.

Ryou took a step back, scared now that Bakura was there. The seething yami threw the razor into the hall, then turned to glare at his hikari. "Well?!" he demanded. "What did you think you were doing?!"

"What did it look like?" Ryou said quietly, staring at the floor. `Why can't you just pick one?' he thought bitterly. `Let me live, or let me die...'

//I heard that// Bakura said through their link.

"Well, why can't you then?!" he burst out, glaring boldly back at the other boy.

To his surprise, Bakura looked away, absentmindedly turning off the sink. "I don't know," he finally said.

"What?" Ryou demanded, not sure whether to believe what he was hearing.

"Ryou, I..." Bakura's voice trailed off, then without warning he stepped out of the bathroom. "Never mind," he said dismissively. "Just promise me..." He paused, picking up the razor again. "Promise me that you'll never, never try something like that again."

Ryou gaped at him. "Why do you care?" he said finally.

"Ryou," Bakura said testily.

"Fine, fine," he said hurriedly. "I promise."

"Thank you," he said, leaving Ryou to stare after him in shock.

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Bakura lounged in one of the kitchen chairs, eating potato chips and glaring moodily at nothing. He had become very attached indeed to modern-day food, but at the moment he barely noticed what he was eating.

`What the hell was that?' he wondered. `Why did it... upset... me so much to see him trying to kill himself?'

`You know perfectly well,' a rebellious little voice in the back of his mind said.

He ignored it. `There's no sane reason to care what that fool does,' he told himself firmly. `No reason whatsoever. The only thing I can't let him do is die, and only because I'm not sure what exactly will happen to me, being his yami.'

He frowned suddenly, hearing someone behind him. `Ryou,' he thought a second before his hikari said, "Bakura."

"What?" he asked evenly, not turning around.

"Why..." Ryou faltered, not sure if he even wanted to know the answer. But he knew that if he didn't ask, it would plague him until he did. "Why... Did you care? Even though you... hurt me... so much yourself?" He swallowed, wondering if Bakura would be angry.

Bakura hesitated, two sides fighting within him. One wanted to tell him what he had just told himself a moment ago, and the other side wanted to tell him the truth... "Why do you want to know?" he asked finally.

Ryou was shocked. He had suspected his yami to snap at him, or even hit him. `I was right,' he thought, awed. `He's been changing lately, somehow, a little...' "Because, um..." He struggled with the question, not really having a clue what to say. "Well, I... It's just, you seem... different... I mean, you seemed really..."

Bakura rolled his eyes, turning in his chair to face the other boy. "Get to the point," he said blandly, his face betraying nothing.

"Well, um..." He swallowed. Depending on what Bakura said next, he might just wind up breaking his promise, but it would be so wonderful if... "I love you, Bakura," he blurted, going pale.

Bakura's mouth fell open, and he quickly turned around again. "That's not possible," he stated. "You almost killed yourself over me."

"Yes," Ryou whispered. "Because I thought... knew... You could never love me back." He turned and fled.

Bakura's mind was about as confused as it could get. `He loves me?' seemed to rise above everything else, and he was shocked at how happy it made him... `Impossible!' he tried to tell himself. `There is no way I could love that weakling!' But it didn't work.

Suddenly, he had a very frightening thought. `If he almost killed himself before, when he just thought that I didn't love him... Damn it; I just basically said I didn't... Not that I'm saying I do or anything..." He jumped out of the chair and took the stairs two at a time to get to Ryou's bedroom. He tried the doorknob, but it was locked again. `Curse him; doesn't he ever learn...?' he thought angrily, and started to work on it.

The door opened before he was finished. "You just couldn't leave me be, could you?" Ryou asked resentfully, then automatically flinched away.

In that instant, Bakura saw his hikari in a completely new way. He was so beautiful; he looked almost like an angel. Despite everything Bakura had done to him - in an unconscious effort, he realized, to put as much distance between them as he could - he still had an air of hope about him, and despite everything, he still had pride... In that instant, everything changed.

Bakura hugged him, scaring Ryou out of his wits. "I'm sorry," he said quietly.

"F-for what?" Ryou stammered. Bakura heard him thinking, `I thought my yami was crazy before, but now I've seen everything!' but he didn't comment.

"For..." Bakura sighed, and Ryou could tell this was hard for him to say. "For... Hurting you... And... For being so cold, a minute ago."

Ryou gaped, too stunned to say anything for a moment as Bakura pulled away. He almost didn't want to speak, for fear that a noise might snap Bakura out of whatever had come over him. But finally he risked a tentative, "So, um... Why are you apologizing, exactly?"

Bakura stared at his feet, too uncomfortable to look Ryou in the eye. `Damn; I always called him weak, but I have to admire him for managing to say... that he loved me... at all...'

Finally, he whispered, "I...ug... mutter-ve you too, Ryou."

To his shock, Ryou burst out laughing. "What?" he snapped, at the same time realizing that he'd hardly ever heard Ryou laugh before, and never when he knew that his yami was present.

"Sorry, sorry," Ryou said hurriedly, backing away and stifling his laughter.

Bakura's expression softened. "No, it's okay," he said, wrinkling his nose a little at how strange the words sounded. "But really; what?"

Ryou started laughing all over again at Bakura's face. "Well, it's just..." he gasped, "It's just that I've never seen you... go red!"

Bakura felt himself slowly starting to grin, and pretty soon he was laughing along with his light.

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A/N: [groan] I told you it was bad... I warned you... but did you listen? [bursts in to tears] Horrible! Why am I even posting this?! [composes self] Yay, I feel better now... After reading that crap I don't know if any of ya'll would even be able to believe me, but the stuff I write these days is way better! Go read some of it! Um, please? Oh, but not before you R&R! [grin] Ah, shameless plugging...