Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Change of Heart ❯ Hanarenai ( Chapter 5 )

Disclaimer: Yu-gi-oh non mea, viditis? Non mea! Minime capitis pecunia mea! (grin)

A/N: Y'know, I'll bet all the people who like this story are getting really tired of me dissing it... But it stinks! (sob) I mean, I guess it's got its moments... (sniffle) And I made Yami a total creep, didn't I? Well, I suppose that was the one vaguely original thing about this lil ficcy, after all... Okay, time for a completely random moment! Why are there no Ocean's Eleven fanfics? I just saw Ocean's Twelve yesterday - ubercoolness - and then I went to look for fanfics, and between all the sites I go to, I found one! (tear) Doesn't anyone realize how hot some of those characters are? I mean, it's got Brad Pitt in it! Okay, I feel better now...

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Chapter Five: Hanarenai

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Ryou had absolutely no idea where he was going. He was almost surprise when he saw where he had wound up, and for a moment he wasn't sure if he wanted to go in. He wasn't sure if he could handle any more emotion tonight... But in the end he firmly decided that he wouldn't let anything happen; not much harm could come from talking, and he defiantly wanted to talk to someone right now. So he walked inside the game shop.

Yugi looked up, startled, when he heard a knock at his door. He was just about to go to bed, and he thought his grandpa already had... "Yeah Grandpa?" he asked.

Ryou almost smiled - almost. "It's not your grandpa, Yugi; it's Bakura," he replied.

Yugi's eyes widened, and he hurried to open the door. "Bakura?" he said, disbelievingly. "Hi... What are you doing here; it's really late!" He frowned, taking a closer look at his face. He looked like he had been crying. "And what's the matter?"

He sighed. "I'll... tell you about it later," he said simply, not sure if he actually would or not. "Listen, I need to talk to Yami for a bit, alone."

Yugi shrugged. "Okay," he replied, letting Yami take control.

The instant Yami saw Ryou, he frowned. "Bakura, what's the matter?" he demanded.

Ryou sat down on the edge of the bed, looking like he might just start crying again but firmly holding it back. "You know, I don't even know why I'm talking to you about this," he said, managing something like a laugh. "I mean, it's all your fault..." The other boy said nothing, and after a moment Ryou continued. "He... Bakura, he found out about yesterday; Anzu told him. We got into a fight, and he... Did you ever know he used to be abusive?" He shuddered, just saying it.

Yami's eyes widened. "I... suspected he might have been," he said carefully.

"Well... He hit me again," Ryou admitted. "Ever since we've been together he hasn't; not once. And I'm not sure he really meant to either. But... I just don't know what to think right now."

Yami sat down next to him, and he tensed slightly. Yami didn't, however, make any move to touch him and Ryou relaxed. Instead Yami just sighed, looking guilty. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I shouldn't have..."

Ryou smiled thinly. "No, you really shouldn't have," he shrugged. "But... Bakura really over-reacted."

"Are you going to stay with him?" Yami asked suddenly, after a minute.

Ryou frowned; he hadn't actually considered that yet. He loved him, but... He had sworn not to hurt Ryou, and Ryou had come to trust him. Tonight really brought back how frightened he used to be around his yami; he knew that the habit of abusiveness was hard to cure in most people, but until now he believed that Bakura somehow had been. Now he wasn't sure; he wasn't sure if he could trust him again either. "I... don't know," he finally said.

Yami opened his mouth as if to say something, hesitated, then suddenly leaned over and kissed him again. It was much more gentle than the other two times, and Ryou could have pulled away any time he wanted. For a moment he was too startled to though, and he kissed him back. He really was a good kisser... Then he shoved him away, trying to keep in mind that it was this sort of thing that started it all.

"You... We... We can't do this sort of thing!" he said stiffly. Yami looked a little hurt when Ryou got up and went to the other side of the bed, though he was trying not to let it show. "It's just wrong," Ryou continued, his back turned. "I mean, I'm not _officially_ broken up with Bakura or anything, and you're still together with Anzu! Think of her for a minute, why don't you?"

"But I'm not still together with Anzu," Yami said quietly. "We broke up."

"What?" Ryou demanded, startled. "Why?"

Yami shrugged. "I just... Couldn't stay with her. I love you, Ryou."

Ryou winced, not even noticing that he had called him by his first name. Just what he needed; guilt to go with his depression and confusion. "I'm sorry," he said heavily. "I mean, I like you, but... I'm still in love with Bakura..." He paused. Was he really sure about that...? He felt so... torn. "I guess," he finally added, very quietly.

"You guess, huh?" Yami repeated, raising an eyebrow slightly. He didn't want to push him too much and scare him away again, especially now that he actually had a slight chance, but...

Ryou couldn't help but grin a bit, even though he was still feeling down. "You're not going to give up, are you?" he asked pointedly.

"No," Yami replied, and Ryou almost jumped; he had moved across the bed and was now sitting just behind him.

Ryou frowned. He had half the mind to get up, shout his head off, and stalk out. But the problem was, he didn't know where he'd go after that. He didn't want to go home, and he couldn't stay at Anzu's place; it would just be too embarrassing. And Jou and Honda certainly wouldn't be interested in hearing his _boy_friend problems...

Suddenly he gasped, as an arm snaked down his front and Yami started kissing his neck. "Y-yami!" he protested, making a half-hearted effort to move away.

"Hmm?" Yami replied, not giving any sign of letting him go.

Ryou sighed, suddenly realizing that he was extremely tired. "Nothing," he muttered, letting Yami pull him closer. He knew that if he had actually made an effort he could have got up and gone to another room, but chances were Yami would just come and bother him later. He was just too persistent. And it _was_ comfortable...

`And besides,' he added to himself, `this way I don't have to worry about Bakura for a while...'

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When he woke up the next morning, Ryou was feeling exceptionally groggy. He felt like he hadn't gotten enough sleep, or too much, or something... He glanced at the clock and groaned; it was ten thirty in the morning. Then he frowned; that wasn't his clock...

The events of the night before came back to him quiet swiftly. He suppressed another groan. It just seemed unreal somehow. And why had he gone and given in to Yami? He should have gone to Anzu's; she might be a little uncomfortable around him these days but that didn't mean she probably wouldn't have let him sleep on the couch or something. He felt like such a traitor...

He wished he hadn't woken up at all, but now he couldn't get back to sleep. It was something to do with being surrounded by reminders of what an idiot he'd been: Yami, who was sleeping peacefully next to him; the Sennen ring, which he was still wearing... Finally Ryou sighed and got up carefully, then spent a minute or so looking for his shirt; it was under the bed. He wasn't quiet sure of what all had happened last night but he still had his pants on so it couldn't have been too bad...

He managed to sneak out of the game shop without either waking Yami or running into Yugi's grandpa, but after that he hesitated. Part of him wanted to rush back home, tell Bakura everything and hope that things just somehow got back to normal. But he doubted that anything like that would happen, and he realized with a sickening feeling that he was afraid of his yami again.

But the only way he was going to fix any of this, he decided after he had been standing outside the game shop long enough to have people staring at him (again), was to try and talk to Bakura. He started off to his house, staring at his feet.

When he went in the house was quiet. He found Bakura up in his and Ryou's room, sitting on the bed and looking out the window. He didn't look up when Ryou came in.

The silence hung uncomfortably in the air for a few moments, then Ryou asked, "Where's my dad, do you know?"

Bakura shrugged. "No," he said. His voice was completely neutral.

Ryou winced. This wasn't going to be easy. "I hope he's not looking for me," he commented.

"No, he's not," Bakura said, still not looking at him. "I told him you'd gone to a friend's, and that you wanted to spend the night. This morning I told him that you called before he woke up and said you were sick and were going stay the day. He called the school; you have the day off. Go away."

Ryou blinked, startled by the sudden change of subject. "It's technically my room, you know," he remarked, then hurriedly added, "Just teasing."

"I'm not amused," Bakura said coldly, getting off the bed anyway. "Fine; if you won't go away then _I'll_ go away."

He moved towards the door but Ryou grabbed his arm. He was a little frightened to touch him after last night, but he wasn't planning to let his yami get out of talking that easily. "Oh no you're not," he said firmly.

Bakura felt surprised that his hikari would be that bold as he yanked his arm away. He had see how scared Ryou had looked just before he ran away, and he had wondered if they would ever talk again. He had wanted to, but now that Ryou was here he was mad all over again. "Why not?" he snapped. "I suppose it probably doesn't have anything to do with your date with Yami last night, but if does then don't bother. I know."

Ryou's eyes widened. "You... what?" he demanded. "How?"

"The Sennen ring," he said simply. "I thought I'd check to see where you were, to know whether I would need to lie to your dad. So tell me, is Yami a toy too or do you actually care about him? That would be a shock."

He hadn't meant to be quiet that cruel; it had just come out. Ryou frowned, then turned away. "You can go away now, like you wanted," he said evenly.

Bakura hesitated for a moment, then stepped out and closed the door behind him. He almost went downstairs, but he heard an odd noise from inside the bedroom. He had a sickening idea of what it might be and couldn't help but go back.

He felt divided, standing right outside the door and listening to Ryou crying. The large majority of him wanted to laugh, yell at his hikari to shut up, and eat something, even though his hand was poised to knock. Things were a lot simpler when he acted like that, it seemed. Because the other side of him was telling him to talk to Ryou, even though he didn't want to.

Somehow, that second side won. He opened the door quietly, but Ryou noticed him and quickly tried to wipe away his tears. "What?" Ryou asked, after he was fairly sure he could control his voice. Actually, he couldn't.

Bakura sat cross-legged at the foot of the bed, facing Ryou who was sitting at the top of the bed. "I think," he said carefully, "that you ought to explain to me exactly what is going on between you and Yami. If you two are together, then I can't understand why you're so upset."

Ryou stared at him for a moment. That was about as close as Bakura got to admitting that he at least might be wrong. Then he hurriedly started speaking, in case he lost his chance. "It's nothing," he said earnestly. "The first time I went over there I wanted to talk, and he kissed me. I just went there last night because there wasn't really any other place to go. Anzu's kind of uncomfortable around me I think, and Jou and Honda, well..." He paused. "Anyway, he just wouldn't leave me alone. I guess I... just sort of gave in. Nothing happened, though."

Bakura frowned thoughtfully. He really did want to believe him, but he still wasn't sure...

"Hey," Ryou said suddenly, "how long were you watching us last night? Because I'll bet you never once heard me tell him that I loved him."

Bakura's frown deepened. It was true, he had to admit...

Then his eyes widened. He hadn't even seen him move, but suddenly Ryou was kissing him.

When they pulled apart Bakura gasped for air. Ryou couldn't help but smirk a little; _he_ had taken a breath first... "But I will say I love you all you want, whether you believe it or not," he said quietly.

Bakura panted a little longer than he needed to, to cover up his emotions. He wanted to laugh, or cry, or something... But he had decided to believe him. Not that it mattered, because even if he did still believe that Ryou was in love with someone else he would still love him. "I'm sorry... about last night," he finally said. "I just, I didn't mean... I mean, I didn't want... I'm so sorry..."

Ryou smiled, hugging him. "It's okay, he whispered. "I... don't know. I guess I just don't care. Anyway, I should have told you sooner about Yami; _I'm_ the one who should be sorry. I love you."

Bakura was silent, and Ryou was just beginning to wonder whether his yami was going to say anything, when he was abruptly pushed onto the bed. When he saw Bakura's face, he was grinning mischievously. "Well," he said, absentmindedly playing with Ryou's hair, "it's not as if I don't believe you or something. But why don't you prove it?" He bent down, kissing him deeply.

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A/N: Aww! I'm so nice! Well actually, I guess I'm kind of evil too since it took me so long to get this chapter posted... But balance is important, right? (grin) Actually, I'm _really_ evil, because... that's it! (dodges, not just flying fruit, but _buckets_ of flying fruit) Yes, it's true, it's _done_! (faint) So sad... I'm not going to know what to do with my self now... Shitthatsoundedwrong... Okay, I'm gonna shut up now before I either make an even bigger idiot of myself, or someone out there realizes that, hey, they can throw the buckets too... R&R! Oh, and `hanarenai' means `I can't leave you.' Okay, _now_ I'm gonna shut up...