Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Clear Vision ❯ Chapter Fifth ( Chapter 5 )

Clear Vision

A Seto/Joey fanfic by subaruxkamui4ever

Once again, another fabulous time at Yaoi-Con! I spent a hell of a lot of money. No, really. I bought every Seto/Joey doujinshi in the building, so if you were looking for it….sucks to be you! I win the game! Heh, heh… anyway, that's the reason I haven't updated in awhile, I'm terribly sorry, but it is my duty as a puppyshipper to go to wherever there is doujinshi, buy all the puppyshipping, and methodically destroy every piece of silentshipping I can find (makes…me…so……ANGRY! I just wanna pull off all my limbs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hate you, silentshipping! HATE!).

Well.

That seems to be quite enough of that. I'm actually really nice in real life. Swear.

Fanfare!!!! DA-DA-DA! And now…on with the show!

"I don't belong with you. I don't belong with anyone…" he trailed off wistfully.

"I'm not the person you love."

He continued to stare intently at the floor, refusing to meet my gaze. I waited for a minute, to see if he would say anything else, but he did not. He didn't move nor speak, and I could scarcely even hear his breath. He had become an immovable fortress, and nothing I could say or do would ever reach him. Or so he thought. Looking at him, watching for any movement and finding none, I thought about how long it must have taken him to develop this kind of ultimate defense. I was sure it came with the territory, losing his parents at such a young age, being adopted by a cold and heartless man who wanted nothing more than to build Seto into a well oiled machine, perfected only to carry on his legacy. And then the burden of raising Mokuba, when he himself still needed to be raised and loved. Slowly over time, each hardship like a brick, over and over they were laid, until he had built this terrible wall. His life's work. This was all he had to show for the 17 years he had resided in this lifetime, as Seto Kaiba. And he hid behind it every chance he got. It was the cold glare he gave to anyone who dared to interact with him on a human level. It was his total disregard for the feelings of anyone, ever, save his brother. It was even the lack of respect and love for his own self. His absence of self worth. And above all, his inability to remember. Well, I didn't care. I was sick and tired of his attitude. In no way was I trying to make light of the horrible events that had befallen him, but I had taken my share of tumbles as well, and we had obviously chosen two completely different paths. Mine had been the path to healing and renewal, while the path he had chosen seemed to lead down a dark and twisted road, and no matter how far he traveled, he always ended up right where he began, only much closer to death.

"What do you know about it?" I demanded casually. He stilled even further, if such a thing were possible, and I heard a sharp intake of breath. He blinked several times, I was sure I had shocked him. I had shocked myself. But the words flowed out anyway, regardless of whether they were hurtful or not. "I mean…you said yourself that you didn't remember a thing, so how can you tell if you're the one I love or not? It seems to me that I would have a lot better of an idea than you would. And it really doesn't matter if you `think you're not good enough' or whatever because that really doesn't even enter into it, now does it? I love you, Seto Kaiba…" By this time, my voice had risen slowly until I was literally screaming. I felt the sting of tears in my already tear swollen eyes, but I bit them back, determined to take a swing at the ice that surrounded his soul, if only just to make it slightly splinter. "…and I made you a promise, and I intend to keep it. Even if it kills me! So until I can make you see, I don't really care what your opinion is on the situation because it isn't an educated one. Oh, and one more thing…I'm not ever going to leave you. You can choose to rely on me or you can push me away, but I'm going to stay by your side, no matter what. Listen to me…I know that I'm having these dreams for a reason. I also know that we've never, ever been nice or even civil to each other but…I've always felt strongly about you. Perhaps I just misinterpreted these feelings inside me the whole time. You have to admit, there really isn't any reason why you pick on me far more than anyone else. And really, the whole puppy thing-"

"Shut up"

I looked up quickly. I had been talking so long, I had gotten carried away. I hadn't meant to make him upset or angry, but it seemed that I had accomplished just that. He had brought his head up to look at me some time ago, and when my eyes met with his, I realized that I had made him furious. I should have expected it, really, but I was still frightened. I wasn't entirely sure of what he was capable of, especially in his anger. He stood up abruptly, and took a stand-offish pose, folding his arms in front of his chest and smirking coldly down upon me. I felt so small in his shadow, and I tried to speak, but he cut me off once again. "Se-"

"Just shut up. Who do you think you are? This is my room, my house, and you're still in it. And I really don't know why. I don't have time to sit here and listen to you babble on about what you think of me. I don't care what you or anyone else thinks about me, so why don't you just get the hell out? If you'll excuse me, I have plenty of things I'd rather be doing. I can't sit here and listen to your little love confession all night. Goodbye." He swiftly turned his back on me, and stalked importantly away, towards the door. Not even giving me a last glance, his hand found the doorknob, and it began to turn.

"No" I said, very matter-of-fact.

The doorknob spun back into place, and he froze where he stood. Without turning around, I heard him speak, quietly, but very serious. "What did you say?"

I couldn't even believe that I had said it, let alone what I was about to say. But there was no turning back now. If this was the game he wanted to play, then so be it.

"I won't."

He turned around to face me, and stared directly into my face. I could almost feel the fury coming off of him in waves, but I wasn't afraid of him. There wasn't anything he could do to me that would make me leave now. He took a step forward and put his hands on his hips haughtily. "You want to run that by me one more time?" he asked, his voice slow but steady. He sounded like he was about to snap.

"Do I have to spell it out for you, Seto? I'm…not…leaving. I thought I had made that clear, but I guess you didn't catch that, did you?" I laughed out loud at my own joke, partly because of the look on his face, and partly because I was so unnerved by my own audacity. His eyes widened in anger and surprise, but I held my own, and didn't look away for a second. The next few moments were extremely uncomfortable. Both of us just stared at each other, unsure of what to do next, but refusing to back away. Determined to stand my ground, I stood up off of the bed, and mocked his stance, placing my hands on my hips and lifting my head up high. I almost giggled, realizing how funny the situation would look to anyone not involved, but I wouldn't be the one who broke the silence. I wanted to see what he would do next. And even though I was waiting for it, it still shocked the hell out of me.

"GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!" he yelled, and flung his hand towards the door.

"NO!" I screamed. I let my pose go as my hands fell to my sides. "I won't leave! I don't care what you do to me, I'm staying!" As if to prove my point, I jumped onto his bed and stuck my tongue out at him. "I'm not scared of you, so you can go ahead and yell at me, I don't care." Having said that, I casually laid down on the pillows, and looked expectantly at Seto, who looked…at a loss. He stared at me, no longer appearing to be angry. In fact, he seemed to be mulling it over in his head. I guessed that maybe this was the first time someone had given him no for an answer, and he didn't quite know what to do with it. While he stood there in silence, I made myself quite at home in his bed. I took off my jacket and my shoes, and slipped under the covers. "Come on, Seto, it's late." Glancing around the room, I found a small alarm clock next to the bed. It read 4:08 am. "It's four o'clock in the morning. Tomorrow's Sunday, and you'll have all day to stand there like an idiot. Let's go to sleep". I wondered how long he would let me play this game. I sincerely doubted he would actually let me sleep there, but he hadn't said a word, nor had he moved. Sighing, I turned over and faced the wall, waiting to be pulled out of the bed and thrown to the floor. After a minute or two had passed, I heard a footstep, then another one, closer to where I laid. My body tensed up, waiting for the blow…but it never came. The footsteps came all the way to the bed and stopped. Silence followed, an unbearable silence, but I was too afraid to turn over and see what he was up to. Moments later, I felt a weight settle on the other side of the bed. He had sat down, next to me, and I felt my breath hitch in my throat. I couldn't move a single muscle, I was frozen to that spot, gripping the sheet in my hands. Suddenly the pillow next to mine sunk slightly, and some of the sheet was pulled away. I couldn't believe it. Seto had come to bed, just like I had told him to. I didn't want to do anything to make him angrier or more upset, so I kept facing the wall, and listened to him breathe. At first, he drew ragged, frustrated breaths, but after awhile, they slowed and steadied until I thought he was asleep. Still, I didn't want to move. What if I woke him up? I wasn't really that tired, I had slept so much in the past day and a half, but I wouldn't risk disturbing him. I let a few minutes pass, to make sure he was really asleep, and I gently rolled over until I was facing him. He was lying on his back, eyes closed and breathing softly. I had never seen him look so peaceful. The moonlight shone in through the window, and bathed his skin in its glow, casting a milky white tone on his face. His hair reflected the light, creating an illusion that made it look like it was streaked with silver, and his eyelashes fanned down on his cheeks, casting butterfly shadows across his face. It was then that I realized how long I had been staring at him. He was beautiful. I reached out, wanting to touch his face, but I pulled back quickly. I couldn't wake him up. I laid back on my pillow, still facing him, and continued to stare until sleep claimed me as well.