Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Crazy for you ❯ After hitting the bottom ( Chapter 16 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

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Ryou felt a bit surprised but strangely happy at the same time. He was so happy that Mariku was willing to open up to him, but surprised that he was actually willing to do that.

“Since you're so bent on getting me and Ishizu to... communicate, it will probably make you happy to know that we were once close...” Came Mariku's quiet voice from near Ryou's shoulder.
The position made it possible for him to direct his words to him without having to look him in the eye. “...more like friends than siblings really, but that was before the shit with father.”

Ryou had heard him talking about his father only once before and it had been with hate that time too.

“What happened?” Ryou asked carefully, closing his eyes to concentrate in listening.

“I don't know why or how it all started but he started to abuse me... Ishizu knew nothing of it, I never told her because I foolishly thought that if I would just take it all silently, it would eventually stop and the problem would just go away.” Mariku chuckled morbidly. “How stupid of me...”

Ryou listened silently, not daring to speak if Mariku would change his mind and not tell him anything. He really wanted to know, wanted to understand.

“So eventually the guy was driven over the edge and went and killed himself by setting himself on fire... Talk about idiocy, there would have been more painless ways to die...” Mariku paused for a second. “I saw the whole thing... I can still sometimes see his burning face, blaming me for his death...”

Ryou tightened his hold, gripping Mariku's shirt.

“I guess that's when I lost it too... They took me to see a shrink, I snapped again and tried to attack the guy so the men in white locked me up. Ishizu was miserable after having lost two family members at the same time but I didn't really care, I was more messed up then than I'm now if possible.”

There was a moment of silence before Mariku continued.

“The loony bin is not a fun place for a kid, all kinds of psychos everywhere... though I was in a different ward back then and probably one of the worsts in there. I used to attack nurses and therapists with weapon like objects.”

“Like... like pens?” Ryou asked, remembering the time the nurse had took his pen when he went to see Mariku the first time. He never got back that pen...

“Yeah...” Mariku laughed a bit. “I never lifted my hand against Ishizu though... She came to see me every day for years, we even had my birthday in there, though the cake could never have candles on it.”

“That's understandable...” Ryou said.

“That was until I... went crazy on my psychiatrist...”

“Hiriwa? My teacher's colleague?” The smaller one asked, having heard about Hiriwa dying in a “working accident”.

“That's the guy. It was music therapy, I wasn't very happy about that, Ishizu was with me and my old psychiatrist had just retired. The song they played... lyrics had something in them, I can't remember what...” Mariku paused. “Hiriwa... I killed him Ryou...”

Ryou really had nothing to say to that, he just gripped a bit tighter and buried his face in the other's shoulder.

“I couldn't care less if he died, not at the time. If I had to suffer then it was ok if everyone else did too... Ishizu was at his funeral, she stopped visiting me after that.”

There was a small pause again and Ryou hoped he could have seen the other's expression.

“God I hated her so much! I just wanted to stab her or strangle her or something. She had abandoned me! I didn't know why! She never told me. I was so alone, my head is not a fun place to be alone in.” Mariku let out one of his insane laughters and Ryou shivered but refused to let go. “So as I was in my own personal fun land, they decided that once I turned eighteen they would move me to the criminally insane ward, since I had killed a guy, that was where I belonged.”

For a second they saw each other from the corners of their eyes but then both turned away, not ready to face the other just yet.

“The nurses were way more careful there because the patients were more psychotic and dangerous. Most of the other patients stayed out of my way, especially after I bit that one guy. His blood tasted like shit.” Apparently Mariku noticed that he was threatening to start to ramble so he paused again.

“I went by the name of Mariku since the... incident with father, I didn't want to be called Malik because it had a connection to my father and my past self, who I deemed as something pathetic and something to get rid of. Anyway, then you came along...”

Ryou perked up, not that he wasn't paying attention before but he actually wanted to know what had Mariku thought of him at first. “So what did you... What did you think of me back then?” Ryou asked carefully, speaking up after he had been silent for so long.

“Do you want the honest truth or shall I edit it up a bit?” Mariku asked and Ryou had to think it through before answering.

“The honest truth.” He stated after a while.

“I needed the entertainment so I though it would be fun to play with you a bit, in more than one sense.”

Ryou blushed. “Um, ok...”

“Though when you fought back, it didn't make me think anything less of you. Besides, you actually treated me almost as if I was human.”

Ryou's grip loosened just a bit, now that things were looking more positive and he closed his eyes again.

“But you also brought Ishizu along again... I remember when I saw her again after all that time, all the hate and loneliness came floating back and I just...” Mariku stopped and wrapped his arms tighter around Ryou, as if being afraid that the other would flee from him. “...wanted her dead. It would have been... I mean it felt right if she would have just died, like caught on fire or something, anything, though the fire would have been kind of fitting... Just as long as the bitch would end up dead!”

Ryou got startled by the sudden raising of voice, Mariku must have felt him jump a bit because he tightened his grip and buried his face further in the junction of his neck and shoulder. The grip was almost painfully tight now and Ryou found it a bit hard to breath.

“Mariku... I can't breath...” He choked out, the corners of his vision already starting to blur. The other was quick to loosen his grip, just enough for Ryou to breath properly again.

“Sorry...”

“That's-” Ryou took a deep breath. “-ok.”

Now that his oxygen was not a problem any more, he really had time to go through what he had just learned. It didn't seem the the other was going to continue any time soon but that was all he needed to know. It was like from terrible childhood into terrible adulthood... Ryou understood the other a lot better now, but even after all he was told, he failed to be the slightest bit afraid. It didn't matter what Mariku had done in the past, sure it affected on how things were now but not to how Ryou saw him. He just felt so sorry for him, for all the pain, mental and physical, he had been through.

Ryou felt his eyes tear up and soon the warm liquid was falling down his face. His shoulders began to shake from the sobs and he cried openly on Mariku's shirt.

“Ryou? What-? Why are you crying?” Mariku asked, getting up enough to finally face Ryou.

“Because of you, you idiot! I mean...” He couldn't control it so he just yelled and sobbed. “For all you've been through and... and.... Mariku you moron! Why did you keep things like that from me, huh?! Did you honestly think that I... I would just leave you or something?! I would never...!” His voice was drowned by all his sobbing and he stopped to wipe his tears on his sleeve. “I could never...” Ryou just couldn't finish his sentence and Mariku looked at lost of what to do. After a while of just being frozen in place by confusion, he began to wipe out Ryou's tears from his wet face.

“I didn't think you would cry for me...” Mariku said quietly, using his thumb to wipe away the last of the ceasing tears from the corners of Ryou's eyes.

“Well you thought wrong.” Ryou almost sounded angry. “You don't- I mean that I-I...” He looked Mariku in the eye with his eyes shining from recently shed tears and leaned carefully closer.
When their faces were millimeters apart, he stopped for a second and closing his eyes, leaned the rest of the way in. This was the first kiss initiated by Ryou and it was only a small and innocent peck more than an actual kiss but it held much more feeling than any of those kisses where one tried to tickle the other's ass through one's mouth ever could.

Soon they pulled apart and Mariku blinked in surprise as Ryou pulled him in a tight hug.


Eventually they had to leave the room to go to have something to eat. Both had skipped lunch and now they were hungry. The situation was surprisingly relaxed, like what just happened had somehow cleaned the air.

Ishizu was doing something or other around the apartment, popping into the kitchen once or twice, sending curios glances towards the two now that they had finally emerged from their room.
She didn't say anything though she looked like she wanted to.

Later that day Ishizu came to talk to Ryou again, apparently after trying to speak with her brother without much success.

“So... What happened? I thought I heard yelling...”

“We... talked... nothing bad went on, don't worry.” Ryou smiled a bit to reassure her.

“What did you talk about then? If it's not too personal.”

Ryou bit his lip. “He told me... about what happened to your father and with you two, about Hiriwa too...”

Ishizu looked surprised. “He did? Wow that's...” She seemed to be at lost of words. “I think you have good influence on him, Ryou, I really do.” She smiled at him.

“Well, I guess... I mean you must have some influence on him too.” It felt awkward to take honor of something like that, especially when it had been completely spontaneous. Ishizu just shook her head.

“No, if I had it's been bad influence. It's you he's keen on, I'm the “evil bitch”.” She laughed a bit though it didn't seem real. Ryou felt bad for her, sure Mariku had hated her in the past but that was the past, right?

“I'm sure that's not how he sees you anymore.”

“I doubt it...” She sighed. “I've failed as an older sister... There's no use to deny it.” She held her hand up to stop Ryou from saying anything, he looked like he was about to.

“Even if you have... that doesn't mean you've completely failed, I mean things are going to get better. After hitting the bottom, there's no way but up, right?” Ryou smiled in an attempt to cheer her up. It didn't seem to work too well though. Either they hadn't hit the bottom yet or were just making the hole a bit deeper.

“I just feel that our family is so messed up, you would think that after the father killing himself and the little brother going insane, things couldn't get any worse.” She paused and Ryou wondered what she was talking about. “I've been suffering from random moments of depression for years now. My psychiatrist says it's because of tragic childhood...”

Ryou was a bit surprised that a strong person like Ishizu would have to see a psychiatrist. “People can't expect you to go through all that and not need anyone... I mean, there's nothing to be ashamed of and um... yeah...” He was beginning to ramble. It was a bit weird that both of the siblings were feeling like telling him all kinds of things now. “So is... this person who's helping you... nice?” Ryou asked to keep the conversation going.

Ishizu nodded. “We've been friends since... Mariku killed his colleague and best friend...”

Ryou blinked. “You mean...?”

“Yes, your teacher has been great help. We've been having sessions over the phone.”

“I heard you one night, I think you've been keeping Mariku up though.” Ryou told.

“Sorry about that, I just never have the time during the day.” Ishizu said.

“That's ok.”

The talked a bit after that, but about lighter subjects, not wishing to bring the mood down more than necessary. It wasn't like someone had died or anything, the weather was nice too; the sun was shining from the blue sky though it was a bit cold. Ryou hoped that he could have gone out for a walk but dared not to, and besides he would have wanted to take Mariku with him but that wasn't really possible.


Ryou sighed. The need to just get out had increased during time and now that he was in the living room with the other two, glancing out of the window, he would have given almost anything for just a five minute walk outside.

“You're sighing a lot, what's up?” Mariku asked, eyes narrowing a bit. He could be very perspective when he wanted to.

“I just wish I could get out for a bit...” He sighed again and leaned his head on his knees.

“I have a balcony in my room, you can use that.” Ishizu told, not even looking up from her magazine.

“I didn't know you had a balcony!” Ryou said excitedly, jumping up from the couch. “You're coming with me.” He grabbed Mariku's hand and dragged him into Ishizu's room.

There indeed was a small balcony, just big enough for two people to fit in. Ryou opened the balcony door and stepped in to the chilly air. It felt so good to be outside again and he smiled broadly at the world. It was getting a bit late so the sun was starting to set, it was his favorite time of the day and he leaned on the railing, looking around. This was the next best thing if he couldn't go for a walk.

“Isn't this great?” Ryou turned to look at Mariku, smiling, and noticed that he didn't look all that excited, though he almost never did, except that time when he had stabbed that one guy...

“What's so great about this? It's not like you haven't been outside before.”

“But it's been so long since! You honestly can't enjoy small things like this, can you?”

“No.”

Ryou 'hmph'ed but decided not to let it bring him down. The slightly cold air made him shiver but he tried not to let it effect him. Ryou felt the other hug him from behind, one arm wrapped around his shoulders and the other around his waist, and lean his head on his.

“We should go in if you're cold.” Mariku mumbled.

“In a bit...” Ryou whispered, not feeling so cold anymore.

Eventually the sun set fully and they went in. The three of them ate dinner before turning in, all the emotional stuff had took it's toll and they were pretty tired already.




Ryou woke up when he heard sound from somewhere from the apartment. It sounded like Ishizu was yelling at someone and a strange male voice yelled back, make that several male voices.

“Wha-?” He started but Mariku clapped his hand over his mouth and shushed him. They listened in silence as the yelling went on , not really being able to make out what was being said because all the voices got mixed together. Then as the footsteps were starting to get closer, Mariku sat up slowly but held Ryou down by the shoulder.

Suddenly the door burst open and several men barged in. For Ryou everything after that happened in a strange blur. The men charged and grabbed Mariku, dragging him out of the bed. He fought back but then he became strangely limb, just going lax all of a sudden. Ryou heard himself yell something, maybe it was the other's name, maybe it was something else, he didn't know nor did he care. Finally getting off the bed when the men began to drag Mariku away, messing in the sheets and going after them. He made it to the hall but then someone took a hold of him, saying something he couldn't make out and held him still. Mariku was taken out of his sight into the hallway.

“No!” Ryou yelled and made a final effort to get out of the person's grasp before falling on his knees on the floor. The person said something to someone behind him, maybe it was Ishizu, he didn't know, and he could feel a hand on his shoulder as he curled up in a ball onto the floor. The men had taken Mariku away, to where he didn't know.

“No...” Ryou felt terrible numbness in his heart and it had almost paralyzing effect. He curled up tighter as the person holding him still let go, leaving only the comforting hand on his shoulder, and felt tears fall down his face once again, and again they were for Mariku. He wept in a ball on the floor, his world had just came down on him and he felt so lost of what to do and scared for the other.

“No, no no...”

“Ryou please... calm down...” This time he could distantly recognize Ishizu's voice speaking to him calmingly. She turned to say something to the man who was still an the apartment, sounding angry.

After a moment Ryou could sense someone kneeling next to him but couldn't see the person through his teary eyes. That person carefully lifted him up from the floor and stopped him from falling back down.

“You'd better be careful with him.” Ishizu told to the man holding Ryou up.

“I will. Come on kid, we need to get you at the station.” The man said and began to half lead, half drag Ryou out of the door, Ishizu in tow.

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A/N: -ducks and covers just in case- Who didn't see that coming? It had to happen eventually... I just hope it wasn't too like “BANG!” and in your face, it felt a bit like that while writing it. More will be explained in the next chapter. Poor Ryou though... I put him through a lot. So how was it?

Review please!!