Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Cremated ❯ Emotion ( Chapter 1 )

Chapter 1: Emotion

I was bored, like most students in school. Everyone was falling asleep because of the teacher's lecture that in reality had nothing to do with the actual lesson.

I was quite relieved when the school bell interrupted, signaling for us to go to lunch. I quickly strode out of there, and I went to the roof.

I usually just sat on the roof and enjoyed the sun that was to pour on me, but today the weather was very bad and the rain was making puddles everywhere. I was glad that I had had the school set up a mat that connected the door's roof. It stretched out for about two meters, and so there was about a meter and a half of dry ground. I sat down there and took out my laptop.

I never ate lunch. Thanks to a certain somebody, food was not that big a deal to me. I ate the minimum amount, just enough to keep me alive and going, but nothing in between. I didn't care for many foods either, since I was a picky eater.

I began to check the stocks on my webpage, when suddenly the roof's door opened and out came the annoying group of Motou and his friends.

"Hey Kaiba! Imagine seeing you up here!" Yugi said, smiling. I was disgusted. I ignored them, but then the mutt just had to come and interrupt my thoughts.

"Hey! Mr. MoneyBags! Yugi said hi!" he shouted almost knocking out one of my ear drums.

"I know. But I refused to respond." I replied calmly. "Listen, we didn't come up here looking for a fight!" Friendship girl added with a flip of her hair.

"Neither did I. I was up here working, something I find hard for any of you not to understand, and you came up here. Am I not correct, or did Yugi say something that I refused to answer and the mutt gave me an attitude for?" I asked.

"He has a point guys." Motou said quietly. The Mutt looked as if he was pouting, but I let it off. I began typing furiously at my keyboard, and pretty soon I realized that the group was sitting on the other side of the door, giggling and laughing and being obnoxiously loud.

I became annoyed quickly and stood up. I knew they were too busy paying attention to themselves, so I began to sneak out of the there in a not so sneaky way. Boy, do I have a sense of humor today. Ptf, I think I'm being stupid and that's it.

Anyway, just then my cellphone rang. I answered it without much concern. "Kaiba." I said harshly.

"Sir…we have something to tell you." A shaking voice said.

The next thing I knew, everything was spinning. I was wobbling, and I was out in the rain. Motou was running over to me, Jounouchi and Honda and Anzu also. My cellphone was on the floor under the mat.

I was so scared. Never in my life had I been so frightened. Not even when Gozaburo did things to me.

"Kaiba?" I heard Yugi call my name, but it was far away. My vision was blurring up, and tears came to my eyes.

I noticed I had slid down to the wet floor when I reached the chain-link fence surrounding me from a falling death. "Kaiba? Are you OK?!" I heard Yugi calling my name in a concerned and frightened way.

Nothing's alright. Nothing will ever be alright. Ever since I was born, I was sent down a path of bad luck. But this…after that promise I had made…after the deaths that I had to see or hear about, after all the hardships and after all the bad times…

Yet I couldn't cry. I was void of all emotions except for pain and fear and frustration and denial. So all I could do was stare…stare into the now crying concerned eyes of Yugi Motou and the scared faces of his gang.

Jounouchi I don't think cared that much, because he had a face ready under his concerned one that I could see as plain as day. I guess he was just expecting me to stop with this and give everyone a glare, then shout, 'Oh you dumb little faggots! That was the oldest trick in the book! And you fell for it! Thinking I, me, would be in that much emotion. Ptf, yeah right!'

But in reality…it would never be like that. Not anymore.

Suddenly, I was at a lost for words. I couldn't respond. But then, without knowing what I was saying…they came out:

"If you…believe that your life is not worth living…then believe that another life is worth living for…"

I knew instantly what they meant, though the others did not. I stared down at my hands. They were shaking. My whole body was shaking. I was on the verge of something I had never felt before.

"Seto…what happened?" Yugi asked. I started shaking even more.

"O-only t-t-three people-e-e c-c-can use tha-t-t-t n-n-name…and they-they-they…" and I couldn't take it anymore. I broke away from the stupid little circle they had surrounded me by.

I ran past my things and down the fleet of stairs. I was almost at the bottom when I tripped.

Me…trip…not possible. But it did. And at that moment I knew my life was unbalanced. I tried to get up, but I found I couldn't move. I was too weak. Emotionally.

"Kaiba…" I heard now the concerned voice of Jounouchi, "Are you OK?"

"W-W-What d-d-do you m-m-mean m-mutt?? I'm perfectly f-f-fine…" I stuttered. I mentally kicked myself.

He helped me up otherwise and I couldn't take it anymore.

"Why…?" I asked.

"Well, everyone needs help Kaiba." Jounouchi replied, as if thinking that was why I asked the question.

"Why…why couldn't it had been me." I had no tears coming down, and none in my eyes now, but I was trying hard to find the emotion within me so I could let it all out.

"Huh?" the stupid dog asked.

And suddenly, I was raging. I was so annoyed, so mad. "Dammit! Why the hell couldn't it have been me?!"

Wrong emotion.

"What the hell are you bloody talking about Kaiba?!" I heard him yell. "All my…all my life thing went down the wrong path. So why the bloody hell couldn't I have just of…" I couldn't say it.

"Seto." Yugi was right by me now, helping hold me up. I didn't care anymore.

"He's gone…He's gone. He's was just a kid Yugi…just a kid. He got everything I never had, and I wanted to keep it that way. But…no…he just had to disappear. Into a puff of light white. He gets to meet the parents I never got to know. He gets to not have to go through the pain of the god forsaken world! He's gone…and nothing cane bring him back!" I shouted. There. Happy you bunch of filthy worms. Happy I gave you all the things you wanted to suck in?

"Who…?" Anzu asked, then she finally got the picture.

"Yeah. He's gone." I shouted. Then I found it. I found the tears and the sadness. But I also found the pain.

It hurt so much. I slid down even after they had to get me up. I slid down and buried my head in my knees. "It hurts Yugi. It hurts more then anything. I promised. It was my fault he died. It's my fault Mokuba died."

Mokuba's gone. If only I could have of gotten away quickly just like him. No pain, no suffering, just get knicked and then you're dead.

He was the one who kept me going, and now I have nothing left. Nothing will matter anymore. And then I can finally do what I always dreamed of doing.

"Angels…lend me your might. Forfeit all my lives just to get one right. All those colors long since faded. All our smiles all confiscated. Never were we told. We'd been bought and sold. When we were innocent." I spoke softly.

All eyes were upon me, but I didn't care. It was appropriate. It was what Mokuba said I should do if I ever felt like thinking of the past.

Well, since Mokuba is gone, I was going to think of the past. I was going to think of how he kept me going all those years. I was going to think of him, but that would bring torment back to my mind. So I just rhymed off the song.

"This prayer is for me tonight. This far down the line and still ain't got it right. And while our confessions not yet stated. Our next sin is contemplated. Never did we know. What the future would hold. Or that we'd be bought and sold. We were innocent." And that was all I wanted to say. I knew I past the first verse, but what the hell, I don't like it.

"We're here for you Seto." Anzu said, tears coming to her eyes. She held a hand to her heart and I growled. "Only three people can call me that name! And there all dead!" but I fumbled with the last word and I ended up just staying silent with a few muffled breaths.

Yugi sat down next to me, and wrapped his small arms around me, but then I realized it was Yami. But for now I didn't care. I didn't care about my appearance either, for I buried myself into Yami's chest and cried there.

I stopped about ten minutes later but I just stayed where I was. I didn't feel like doing anything.

"He fell asleep." I heard Anzu say. How amusing. I felt Yami stroke my hair, and I heard him chuckle. "He's had a tough day. I'll wait for him to wake up, but you guys should get to class." I heard him say.

And then, as I heard the soft sounds of the footsteps fading away, I fell into black.

But no matter who hard I couldn't say it, it was always there in my mind:

Mokuba…Mokuba was dead.