Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Curse of the Moon Chinae ❯ Epilogue ( Chapter 5 )

That morning, the five of us walked home together, a fragment, a mere shell of what we used to be. We had marched in there together, maybe somewhat lacking in the confidence department, but we had all been determined to come out of there alive together. But no, that didn't happen. Now that I think about it, it was pretty stupid to think something like that at all. Do I feel guilty? I don't know if I can tell you how guilty I feel. I mean Sahado sure, that was my fault. But I can't tell whether I feel for him or not. The guy got what was coming to him. Honda and Otogi… I can't begin to tell you guys how sorry I am. But how I feel… It's nothing compared to the guilt that's raging inside Kaiba.

I had told him everything that happened, against my better judgment. I didn't have much of a choice-- He insisted persistently on it. He told me he didn't remember anything that had happened, that he had been completely oblivious. That is, until Sahado's sword had pierced through his chest. He had missed his heart, thank God if there is one, but the pain accompanying the stab was enough to bring Kaib out of Crimson's grasp. But he knew it wouldn't last for long, and when he saw that I was in danger, he didn't hesitate to kill his own Sire. I don't know, maybe I owe Sahado for that, bastard as he was.

I keep getting phone calls from Honda's mom. I tell her I don't know where he is. I can't bring myself to tell her the truth. Hearing her desperate voice plead day after day makes me nauseated. I don't know what else to tell her though. How's that song go? "No words describe a mother's tears…" Yeah, something like that. I shake my head and tell her I'm sorry, but I can't say what for. I can't tell whose pain is deeper-- Mine knowing the truth or hers not knowing anything at all.

Kaib won't say much anymore. His guilt keeps ragging on him and every time he looks at me, I can see it welling up in his eyes. He's even more standoffish than he was before, and he doesn't go out anymore. It's just school, work, and home. I go over there to stay with him almost every day now. Mokuba tells me that he can't stand to his brother like this. Well, neither can I. Yeah, Mokuba knows everything that happened. I had to tell him. I mean, the kid's been worried sick over his bro's disappearance. I thought he at least deserved to know the truth. But anyway…

The rest of us-- We don't know what we're going to do. Eventually, someone's gonna find the mess we left behind and we're all gonna be in big trouble. Kaib says we should leave the country. I'm willing to go to the ends of the earth with him, but the others aren't so sure. Yugi says he can't leave his grandpa, and Anzu and Bakura don't want to leave their families, either. Well neither do I, of course, but we gotta do what we gotta do. But what that is, I don't know. We're gonna have to play this by ear and hope for the best, because we can't go on like this. Not like this. It's weighing us down and I feel like it's gonna up end killing us. I can't say that I know what I'm going to do. All I know is that we have to do something. Kaib's with me on that, and he's willing to follow me if I think of something. Anything, actually. But until then, we're stuck, going around and around in circles. My days all run together and sometimes I can't see straight. My grades--horrible as they already were-- have somehow gotten worse. I know I look a mess, pale skin and disheveled hair. I'm thinking about getting it dyed actually… I can't stand the color anymore. The others-- they look bad too, and we avoid everyone else's gaze. We sometimes hang out at Kaib's place, but we never say anything. We sit together, then we leave. I stay with Kaib, usually all night. He doesn't think I notice, but when he holds me at night, I know he silently cries to himself. It makes it hard to sleep, knowing how much he despairs.

You know, I used to dream in color. But now they're all just shades of… gold.

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The End

Author's Notes: Some say the epilogue was necessary, some say it wasn't. Regardless, it's here. As I promised, here are the links to the biographies of my two original characters:
Sahado: http://www.angelfire.com/vamp/talons_stories/bios/sahado.html
Crimson: http://www.angelfire.com/vamp/talons_stories/bios/crimson.html