Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Do What You Have To Do ❯ Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I laugh at thee.

AN: I told you this was silly.

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-Chapter Two-

I don't want to be here. I don't want to be here. I don't want to be here.

Our hallway is evil, because our hallway leads to our foyer, and in our foyer are the Miyakis. Who are evil. Correction - who are Evil. Mere evil is my yami when he's too sleepy to even be sarcastic or to throw a knife at a person's throat.

Or when he's totally smashed and warbling a drinking song that hasn't been heard since the last days of the pharaoh. He gets strangely affectionate when he's drunk - well, for my yami.

In fact, I would up with his head in my lap while he mumbled in Egyptian and batted at the dangly bits of our Ring like a kitten. A very big, silver-haired, severely inebriated kitten, complete with fangs and wide chocolate eyes.

I don't think I've ever seen him more happy with the world. He kept nuzzling up to me and calling me snuggly. Then he tried braiding my hair. Which didn't... really... work... at all.

He wound up passed out on my bed with an arm wrapped so tight around my waist that I couldn't get away. I wound up falling asleep right next to him. He's kinda comfy...

Of course, in the morning he looked so damn pitiful that I decided to be a nice hikari and bring him water and painkillers and he smiled so sweetly at me...

"And this is my son, Ryou."

I look up and blink. What am I doing in the foyer?

...and what the HELL is that?!

"Ryou, my boy!" the thing bellows, and seizes my nice poor hand and promptly tries to ground it into dust.

The giant flashes me a brilliant, toothy grin, and my stomach turns. Mr. Miyaki, it seems, has been working out at the gym again. His thin black hair seems thinner than before - perhaps the testosterone has gotten to him?

"Nice to see you again, Mr. Miyaki..."

/Yamiiiiiiiiii! My hand hurts!/

//Weakling.//

/But he's shaking the life out of me! My hand's gone numb and there are little stars floating in front of my eyes!/

A deep mental sigh. //Hikari... you're an idiot.//

/And you're a stuck-up loony in a Ring. Why am I an idiot?/ And why does it feel like my arm is about to fall out of its socket?

//Those aren't stars, Ryou-baka. Those are the rather lovely jewels that... a... very strange woman is wearing.//

I blink. /Huh?/

The echo of a doorjamb is the only reply, and I blink back into reality to see a pair of heavily-made up eyes regarding me with narrow disapproval.

Oh. Shit.

Mrs. Miyaki.

Satan.

/Yami! Stop laughing right now! I'll steal your Fruit Loops! I will!/

* * *

This officially sucks.

I've been smiling and nodding at Mrs. Miyaki for the past five minutes. Five minutes of sheer hell. Yami... how could you abandon me to this? How could you? Dammit, you're supposed to protect me!

Stupid yami. Runs at the first sign of People He Does Not Like At All.

This whole time, I've found myself rather mesmerized by her eyes. She hasn't blinked. At all. In the past five minutes, she hasn't so much as twitched. I would've thought the weight of her false eyelashes would drag her eyelids down, but that doesn't seem to be the case. Add this to the fact that I'm being choked by the cloud of cloyingly thick perfume that wafts around her. It smells like she blew up a florists' shop on the way over here. Mix together these factors and add in my rather unusual appearance, just for kicks.

...I hate my life.

I grit my teeth as she calls me 'such an... unusual boy' for the fiftieth time. Father, I despise you.

Blah, blah, blah, blah. The faint creak of a door echoes in my consciousness, and a white-haired head pokes out into the corridor that joins our minds. //Shut up, woman!// Yami snarls, and I'm sorely tempted to echo him aloud. Oh, wait, she's addressing me again. "Don't you think so, my... dear boy?" Uh... what was she talking about?

She smiles at me in a manner disturbingly reminiscent of a Barbie doll, and I am abruptly possessed by the urge to run very, very, very far away. To Egypt. Yami speaks Egyptian. We can make a living by stealing things and killing people. He's good at that, and I'm a quick learner.

"Of course, Mrs. Miyaki," I reply politely, while inwardly screaming. Help me, Ra!

...I didn't just think that. Yami's a bad influence on me. A very, very, very bad influence. Bad yami! No duel!

Over in the corner, my father and Mr. Miyaki are jabbering in a highly conspicuous fashion that is probably supposed to look exactly the opposite. The girl, Hazumi, has stood by her father's side all this time, hands folded demurely over her skirt, head lowered politely to the floor.

Now that I think about it, she didn't even look up when we were introduced.

...she's kinda weird, and when I can say something like that, it's impressive. I mean... she blends in with the wallpaper, that's how much I haven't noticed her.

My yami is highly suspicious of this whole situation, and it's getting me paranoid as well. He doesn't like people who whisper in huddles. They're usually out to get him.

One of the caterers /Look, Yami! They killed our breakfast, and somehow they're still alive and mentally stable!/ stumbles out of the dining room, a slightly glazed look in his eyes.

"Dinner is served," he says raspily, with a disjointed bob of his head. Then he turns around and runs face-first into the wall.

He falls with an inelegant thump and swirly eyes as we all goggle.

My yami starts laughing hysterically.

/Or maybe not.../ I amend my statement rather sheepishly.

Yami's laughing much too hard to reply.

* * *

Dinner. During the course of which I almost fell asleep three times. Pegasus' eyeball soup this isn't.

Father has spent the entire time lauding his visitors in a truly annoying fashion. I can almost see the little yen signs dancing in his eyes. And the fact that I can hear Yami snoring somewhere in the recesses of my brain is annoying the hell out of me. How come he gets to sleep when I don't?

Oh yeah, nobody else knows he exists. Lucky bastard.

Tra la la. Hello ceiling. How are you? Oooh, lookie! I think there's some of Yami Malik's hair still stuck in the chandelier! I hope it doesn't catch on fire. That would smell icky. The last thing we need is a stinky dining room.

My eyes cross as I stare at the few glimmering platinum strands dangling from one elegant loop of metal. It's shiny. Malik's got pretty hair. I wonder what kind of conditioner he uses?

Oh dear, I think my father's talking about me.

I snap to attention and glance sharply down the table at him.

"Well, Ryou? What do you say?" Mr. Miyaki grins jovially, revealing far too many straight white teeth. It's like looking at the grin of a Great White about to strike, or Yugi's yami when he's about to win a duel. It's one of those 'flee-if-you-value-your-miserable-mortal-life!' smiles.

Astoundingly, the girl at his side gives a little titter of nervous laughter. She's alive?

I think I missed something here.

"Um... I beg your pardon?" I inquire lightly, making sure to keep my confusion in check. I'm already dressed like a punk, I do not need to look like a empty-headed idiot too.

Mrs. Miyaki laughs, the sound high-pitched and grating, vaguely reminiscent of nails on a chalkboard. Mr. Miyaki echoes her with a booming chuckle as he slaps his slender daughter on the back.

"Why, about your engagement to our little Hazumi, of course!" he rumbles merrily, black eyes shining.

...engagement?

...me?

...to her?!

WHAT THE HELL?!?!

/YAMI!! WAKE UP!!/ I screech mentally. For a long moment, aside from my mental summons, I can't talk.

After said moment, I outwardly squeak "Engagement?" in a strangled voice, feeling my eyes bug out and my face turn bright red.

Father smiles, seemingly unaffected by my shock.

"Ooh, I just knew you'd be pleased!" squeals Mrs. Miyaki ecstatically, clapping her hands. Hazumi blushes becomingly and looks down at her dainty little feet. She sneaks a shy glance my way from underneath her bangs. Gah! Creepy! Just like her mother!

"I take it you accept?" Miyaki continues happily, smiling at me with those brilliantly white teeth glinting in a purely predatory fashion I recognize from my yami.

I recoil in abject terror. "Um... no?"

Stunned silence meets my horrified denial, which doesn't sound very impressive or at all scary. Actually, it sounds more mortified than anything else. Dammit, why can't I be more assertive?

Still, some good seems to have come of it. I think my father's about to faint. Hazumi bursts into silent tears, and Mr. Miyaki's formerly pleasantly wide face hardens to granite. Mrs. Miyaki's looking at me as if I suddenly sprouted another head.

...oh dear. That wasn't very nice of me, was it?

Father's twitching now. "Ryou..." he grates out, leaning forward mechanically, "Is there a reason for this... sudden... change of heart?"

I blink, vaguely wondering what the hell my deck has to do with this.

"Do you have a problem with my daughter?" Miyaki growls impressively.

I'm unimpressed. Miyaki has nothing on Yugi's yami when it comes to growling.

It's suddenly very cold in here. Brr. Mrs. Miyaki's creepy gaze is even more creepy when it's sending little daggers of ice my way. I can't think.

"Of... of course not! It's just... that... I.. uh..." I splutter randomly.

Excuses, excuses, why the hell can't I think up an excuse? But they're all glowering at me, with the exception of Hazumi, who's sobbing brokenly into her arms.

"...because... er... because... I'm in love with someone else!" I blurt, panicked. That's just great! Of all the lame excuses, I come up with that?

Mr. Miyaki is twitching violently, Hazumi's gone dead white, and Mrs. Miyaki's smiling at me in the strangest way.

"Well, my boy," she says in the chillingly deliberate fashion of the slightly deranged, "Might I ask who the lucky young lady might be?"

Shit!

/Yami!/ I wail in distress, /Get up and help me!/

Egyptian profanity meets my mental ears. Lovely. But at least he's awake now.

"Well, Ryou?" father questions impatiently, folding his arms, one eyebrow raised in cold inquiry. He isn't buying it. Shit!

"Er. Yeah. Um... the truth is... I'm in love with... uh... er..." Oh, what a terribly convincing front I'm putting up here. Way to go, Ryou!

I abruptly notice boiling rage trembling at the edge of my senses. Oh dear. My other is not very happy right now.

//...what the FUCK?// he bellows mentally, and I get a sinking feeling that starts in my chest and tumbles down to crash at my feet.

The ring around my neck suddenly flashes brilliantly, and when the light fades, my very cranky yami is standing at my side, glowering at the buggy-eyed Miyakis and my slackjawed father.

Ah, yes. It was that sinking feeling. ...wait a minute...!

"What the fucking hell-" he starts to snarl, eyes flashing a dangerous amber, ready to steal souls at the slightest sign of movement.

I really hope he doesn't kill me for this.

So I plaster a huge, blindingly innocent grin on my face and glomp him with all the false enthusiasm and sheer blind panic I can muster. "With him!" I finish triumphantly.

Yami staggers in shock while four jaws drop simultaneously. I suppose this looks rather bad - he did just pop out of nowhere, he does look like my evil twin, and he's also got a strangely ...amused? and rather demonic smirk curving his lips.

"Ryou?" Hazumi gasps faintly, delicate, watery eyes wide and frightened.

"Oh yes," I babble mindlessly, squeezing him tighter, "I love him very much!"

And then I do the only thing I can think of.

I reach up and smash my mouth to his.

...I think my father just screamed like a little girl.

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AN: :-P

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