Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Documentary ❯ Day 1 ( Chapter 1 )

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Nelr: *to his stuffed Monkey* Yeah, I like Teletubbies. Especially the yellow one. When are we going on air again?

Cys: *points to the readers*

Nelr: HOLY-!!! Ahem... so like... Hullo there, and welcome to the first twisted and wrong fanfiction written by me and hosted by my new muse, Cys, I bought her in an alley by a guy who calls himself the Ruler of the Deepest Shadows Found in the Valley of Darkness!

Cys: You ARE the weakest link! Good-bye! *Trapdoor opens under Nelr and he falls to his doom* Muahahahahah. Wait, I can do better... *clears throat* MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAH!!! *Eyes glow red* JOIN THE DARK SIDE! OBEY YOUR MASTER! OR I SHALL ANNIHILATE YOU ALL! *Normal again* Thank you all. *Angelic smile*

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DISCLAIMER × this is insulting. This is insulting to us and the readers! What kind of stupid sh[bleep]t do you take us for?! F[bleep]ck this, I'm leavin' this to someone else.

The Fat Hugging Guy From Dave Matthews Band's Video 'Everyday': Hullo kiddies! Gimmie a hug!!! *Everyone runs away* Oh well!!! Nelrynt does not own Yu-Gi-Oh!!! *Hugs a random person wandering by*

Random Person Wandering By: EEEEEEEEEEEAAAAIIIIIIIYAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Runs away*

The Fat Hugging Guy From Dave Matthews Band's Video 'Everyday': Ooooh, he wants me. *Eyebrows go up and down*

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Note: [[ ... ]] is what we see on the camera.

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[[ Cys is facing the camera. he looks in both directions and sighs in relief. ]]

Cys: Hi. I'm doing a documentary on my unsuspecting friends. They don't know it, but they're being filmed... just think 'Candid Camera,' 'kay? 'Kay.

[[ Cys' face goes offscreen. Apparently she is now the eye behind the camera and filming has started. ]]

Cys' voice: Our first victim is a close friend I call Taylor. Tristan Taylor. *hushed giggling* Okay, I know, that was lame.

[[ A street, slowly moving towards a point beneath the screen. Obviously, Cys is walking to Tristan's house. The view abruptly turns to face a lovely stucco house with a white picket fence. ]]

Cys' voice: Okay, this is it. Tristan's house, I mean. His bedroom window should be on the east side...

[[ We see a window on the side of her house; Cys nears it. As we near it, we can hear sounds of... whooting?! ]]

Cys' voice: Ooooh, this is gonna be good!

[[ Tristan is sitting on his bed facing a TV with a blanket on his lap covering one of his hands. He has no trousers on and his shirt is soaked with sweat. ]]

Cys' voice: My goodness... oh, Myiny is gonna be SO FREAKED when she finds out about this.

[[ Tristan is cheering at the TV, "Harder, HARDER!!!" He suddenly grunts and falls backwards on his bedsheets, blinking and gasping for breath. ]]

Cys' voice: Is that all? Oh c'mon Tristan, gimme something to laugh about.

[[ As if obeying to her commands, Tristan straightened up and raised the hand that was under his blanket and licked a thick white liquid off his fingers very much like a kitten. ]]

Cys' voice: *a little too loud* Jackpot!

Tristan: *with a finger in his mouth* Er...? What's that? *turns to the window*

[[ The camera ducks down; we can no longer see in the window. It turns to face Cys. ]]

Cys: *clearly disgusted* That was waaaaay too close. I still can't believe... I hope Joey's not the same way. This is the end for today, tomorrow, I'm doin' Yugi!

[[ Fade out. End. ]]

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Nelr: Okay, that was short, but I wanted to end it for now.

Tristan: WHAT THE F[bleep]CK DID YOU DO THAT TO ME FOR?! I THOUGHT YOU LIKED ME!!!

Nelr: Aw, Tristan! I DO like you, it's just... y'know, comedic purposes.

Tristan: *foaming at the mouth* YOU… ARE… SO… DEAD!!! *tears the door down and brandishes it over Nelr*

Nelr: Aaaaaaah!!! Don't!!! *runs*

Tristan: *runs after*

Cys: Nelr and Tristan's gone- that was freaky, why is Nelr saying that about another guy?! guess I'll hafta end this fic! ^_^ ......NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *runs at random passerbys, pointing out a finger at them and going "Pshew! Pshew!"*

Joey: .........Uhh... review....? *gets 'shot' by Cys and collapses* Ow.