Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Duel of Love ❯ Stupid ( Chapter 17 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
Disclaimer: I don’t own Yu-Gi-Oh or the song, alright?   A/N: Okay…I just have to use this song for this chapter…I mean…it really fits Katiana’s mood so far…   Duel of Love   Chapter 18: Stupid   Pharaoh Atemu        We ran inside as fast as we could, the screams piercing my ears.       “We better not be too late,” High Priest Seto said as we ran into the darkness.  I let out a gasp as we lit the cavern, and saw what lay ahead.  A figure was chained to a rock and the soft, dripping sound that followed caused panic and I ran forward towards the figure and illuminated the figure of Miss Katiana!  High Priest Seto murmured a spell and dispelled the lightning surrounding and hurting her.
     “Ra no!” I exclaimed and ran forward, nearly dropping my torch as I splashed in the pool of blood beneath her and ran forward to remove the chains.      “A…te…mu,” she murmured and I looked at her wide eyed, she was barely conscious and I think she just said my name!  I love her…I love her so much…Gods, please don’t let her die on me…      “I have you, I’m here,” I said as I unhooked the chains and she fell forward into my arms.  She bled onto me but I didn’t care.  I dragged her away from the stone and lay her down on the cool sand.  High Priest Seto kneeled on the other side of her and we wrapped up the biggest of the wounds we could find.  She had scars…so many scars.       “Katiana,” High Priest Seto said, shaking her slightly, “Come on, give us a sign…give me a sign…”      “Uhh…” she muttered and High Priest Seto let a small sigh slip past his lips.      “By the gods, we better get her out of here…” he said, his face showing no sign of emotion although I could tell he was furious at the thief for what he did…and saddened by the fact he hadn’t been able to protect her.  It was the same thing I was feeling.  I handed my torch to him and scooped Miss Katiana up in my arms.  We raced out of the cave; we had to get her help.  Our horses better be ready to ride.      “Atemu,” she murmured as we started to ride, her voice barely a whisper.  She said my name!  I have been asking her over and over again to say it…but why now?  Why did she say it now…  I wish I knew…I wish I knew…          “I see the city,” High Priest Seto exclaimed as our steeds ran forward towards the gate.  We did have to stop for one night or else our steeds would have collapsed.  I hadn’t slept that night and neither did High Priest Seto.  We both watched over Miss Katiana making sure she was as comfortable as possible and tending to whatever wounds we could, but there were so many we only were able to keep a few of them clean and I’m sure there were wounds on the back that we hadn’t even seen yet…we hadn’t wanted to turn her over and hurt her more…  We set her arm which we realized was broken and so it was in a makeshift cast until we got her a better one.  She didn’t wake up or regain consciousness but she was breathing quite heavily the entire time…she still is now.      “I see it,” I said, urging my horse towards the gate, “As soon as we arrive, call High Priest Mahado…she needs help and fast!”      “You will put her in her room at the palace then I assume?” he asked over the racing horses and ragged wind.      “Yes,” I replied through gritted teeth, damning the one who had hurt her over and over again in my mind.  He would pay dearly for this…   Madera        I was going to the palace to see if they had rescued Katiana yet and I arrived just in time to see them plowing right up the steps of the palace, dismount and run inside.  I saw Katiana and gasped…she had so many scars…  Didn’t the pharaoh think to cover up her body so she wouldn’t find humiliation as everyone could see her?  He was making so many mistakes!  Would he call the High Priest Mahado to tend to her wounds?  He had to call a female healer, then she’d be more comfortable…even if High Priest Mahado was the best…the pharaoh didn’t understand the shock she was going through.  I shook my head sadly and made my way back home, I wouldn’t go and see her just yet…I couldn’t.  But when I did I’d be willing to give the pharaoh hell, my life be forfeit if he hurts her more than she’s hurt right now.   Pharaoh Atemu        High Priest Mahado was helping her now…I breathed a breath I didn’t know I was holding.  I sent for a midwife as well to determine if she had been raped, something I wouldn’t put past the thief.  I looked towards the doorway and noticed High Priest Seto waiting on the other side of the doorway waiting with me.  I couldn’t imagine what sort of pain she had gone through…and how much I had to apologize for walking away.  I was going to have to make it up to her and I don’t think food would do it this time.   Katiana   Night lift up the shades Let in the brilliant light of morning        High Priest Mahado and a midwife…he sent both of them in to help heal me…although I think he was just sending the midwife in to make sure I wasn’t raped… which I hadn’t been and he never once asked me… I would have told him, but no… he had to see for himself and had the midwife check.  I felt violated…worse than my previous captor… I felt like I was trapped again…in a place…where I was a pawn… where no one loved me…where I was ugly… I deserved death but no…for his games the pharaoh saved me…his sick games.  I felt sick…   But steady me now For I am weak and starving for mercy        These hands…they can’t be mine…these arms don’t feel familiar.  My face is foreign to my eyes and my body foreign to my soul.  I am scarred…they mark my body and my back and my legs and my arms…they will never go away.  They mark my face and my shoulders and my hands…the burn on my hand…and it will never go away.  I could feel my tears and I choked them back, almost gagging on the salty essence that poured from unfamiliar eyes.  I was nothing anymore…  The pharaoh betrayed me…even Seto betrayed me…and I was a fool… Ra please forgive me…I am just a stupid fool…   Sleep has left me alone To carry the weight of unraveling where we went wrong   Madera        “Can I see her pharaoh?” I asked, approaching the door, “Is she better now?”
     “She’s healing,” he replied, looking at the door, “I’ve been afraid to approach… she hasn’t eaten in many days and I don’t know…”      “You don’t know what to do, do you?” I asked and he regarded me with a nod, “Well, let me talk to her…I could get her to eat something…”      “Miss Madera,” he began and I sighed, I knew this was coming, “The way you talked to me before I rode off…it was unacceptable…”      “So is how you’ve treated her now…” I said, willing to begin an argument if it would get my point across.  I wanted to hurt him like he hurt her…Katiana didn’t need him, he didn’t deserve her and yet I knew she was in love with him.      “I went to rescue her and saved her life!” he exclaimed, “And your behavior…”      “Was out of concern for her,” I said in a low voice, “As you could claim your behavior to be…I suppose…”      “What do you mean?” he asked, getting angry, “I am the pharaoh, where do you think I messed up?”
     “Do you want a list of what you did wrong because that’s what I have, a nice long list…” I said, just as angry, “I heard everything you did for her good and none of it was right!”      “Explain yourself Miss Madera,” he said, his voice dangerously low.      “Are you sure you want to hear?” I asked.      “Tell me if you dare…” he said.      “I watched you coming into the palace, you didn’t think to cover her riding back into the city, did you…no, of course you didn’t, you bared her scars and burns bared for the world to see…don’t you think she’d be a little ashamed of them, even just slightly humiliated?  And then, you had a male healer look at her, sure he’s the best in the land but don’t you think a little modesty could have been obtained?  She normally doesn’t even like others healing her but a little consideration and having a female heal her would have been a lot better.  Oh, and let’s see…you called a midwife in, now, normally that would be prudent…if she were pregnant!  But she wasn’t, you just wanted to make sure she hadn’t been raped and possibly carrying a bastard!  What, did you want her all for yourself?  What about asking her?  Do you think she would have told you?  Perhaps not at first because of all the emotional complications but she would have admitted it or you would have seen a change in her were she pregnant, right?” I practically yelled at him, “What do you think she’s going to think about that?”  I breathed heavily trying to find the will to calm down and watched the Pharaoh’s head fall, a look of utter defeat on his face.  Good.   Katiana   It’s all I can do to hang on, To keep me from falling Into old familiar shoes        “Hon?” a familiar voice asked and I turned away.      “Go away,” I said firmly, “I don’t w…want…to be here anymore…”      “Katiana…” the voice said and I felt the bed give way and someone took me into their arms, “I can’t say it will be alright…but I can say I’m glad you’re safe…”      “I don’t want to h…hurt,” I sobbed, giving in, turning into the person’s chest and sobbing heavily on them.  The person smelled like Madera.      “I know hon, there wasn’t much you could do…” the person said soothingly, stroking my hair.  It was Madera…I gripped onto her and held on tight.  I didn’t know what else to do.      “My h…heart hurts,” I sobbed, “It h…hurts so bad…”      “I understand hon,” she said, still stroking my hair, “I don’t like it…you didn’t deserve to go through all that…”      “I don’t re…recognize myself M…Madera!” I sobbed heavily.      “Oh my poor Katiana,” she said, “I’m so…so sorry…”   How stupid could I be? A simpleton could see That you’re no good for me But you’re the only one I see…   Pharaoh Atemu        I hurt her again and again, humiliated her and made her feel like my property.  She wasn’t…she in no way belonged to me and I had no right to her…especially not now…  I never had any right to her to begin with and then I almost raped her…and now…now I’ve hurt her so much I don’t think she’ll ever recover.  Every scar I had caused…even though it was indirect, I had still caused it…caused her suffering.  I looked into the room, the door was open because Madera had gone in and saw Miss Katiana sobbing against Madera’s shoulder.  I took two steps inside…I wanted to save her…I wanted to take away her tears…      “Miss Katiana…” I began softly, looking at her sorrowfully.  Her head lifted from Madera’s shoulder and her tear stained sobs could be heard loudly from across the room where I was.  Her eyes turned to me and all I saw was fear.  She was afraid of me…Ra no…please no…  I took a step forward and she scooted back across the bed.  Madera had released Miss Katiana from her embrace and now looked at me almost with pity.  I could fear my own tears rising as I took one step closer.      “…” she didn’t say anything, merely scooted back across the bed onto the other side.  She seemed like she was worlds away and I couldn’t get close to her.      “Miss Katiana,” I repeated and she looked at me.      “W…What more d…do you think you c…can do to me?” she asked and I lowered my head.  I heard the bed give way and looked up to see Miss Katiana pressed up in a corner of her room on the other side of her bed.  I could feel my tears fall as I see the depth of the pain I had caused her in her eyes.  I had done enough…more than enough…I would never see her smile again…   Katiana   Love has made me a fool Set me on fire and watched as I floundered        I watched him with my tear stained eyes, choking back sobs, fear of him apparent in my voice whenever I spoke.  Why didn’t he understand?  Why couldn’t he just go away?  What more did he want to do to me that hadn’t already been done?  I want to die…I want to die…   Unable to speak Except to cry out and wait for your answer        “You haven’t eaten,” he said slowly, “In almost four days…”      “S…so?” I asked bitterly, “I’m n…not hungry.”      “Do you…” he began but then stopped himself and just took another step forward.  I backed as far as I could into the corner and wrapped my arms around myself, trying to cover the scars…there were so many scars…      “Please l…leave,” I said.  I heard Madera shift slightly on the bed.      “But…” he began, and I raised my head, he was in front of me on the other side of the bed where I was, “No…It’s no more than I deserve…”  I watched him turn heel and leave.  He wasn’t crying…why should he?  Why should he cry for hurting me and betraying me and making me feel so empty…  He had walked away when I had admitted my feelings…it was a game to him…that’s all this was…to him…just a game…   But you come around in your time Speaking of fabulous places   Pharaoh Atemu        “You know…some people are just unsure of what to do and so make mistakes,” a voice said softly and I turned around from the doorway to see Madera, “I probably won’t be able to get her to eat…this isn’t good…”      “No, I hurt her…I keep screwing up…I can’t even love her enough to think straight…  I’m not the one hurting the most from this though, am I?” I asked looking up at her, knowing all too well how wet my eyes felt even if they weren’t crying.      “Yes, it’s just that claiming to be in love is one thing…but acting in love…you’re the pharaoh, so you may not think about the little things for things like this…but they add up, they really add up…”  She trailed.  I fell to my knees.      “Ra I’m sorry…Miss Katiana…” I murmured and felt a hand on my shoulder.      “Love does make unreasonable people, most don’t know what to do once it comes to them…” she said, trying to be of comfort, “You just have to get better and that takes time…”      “What?” I asked, raising my head to meet her eyes.      “Time my pharaoh, it takes time…” she said, “although this time…”      “I went to far…” I whispered, “I never should have walked away…I should have run to her…embraced her and told her I loved her back…then that thief wouldn’t have taken her…been able to take her without a fight…”      “But that mistake was done and done,” Madera pointed out, “What can account for what you did later?”      “Nothing,” I said, “It was my fault this time…I went to far…I didn’t think about her…”  I hated myself…I had been such a fool and now I was paying the ultimate price.   High Priest Seto        I went to see Katiana, to try and see how she was…but she slinked away from me just like the Pharaoh said she had done to him.  She wouldn’t eat anything…not even the freshest bread.  She murmured little nothings as I observed her…she was broken… and this time there may well be no fixing it…   Katiana   Create an oasis That dries up as soon as you’re gone You leave me here burning In this desert without you        “Miss Katiana…” a voice murmured and I looked up from my spot in my corner…I don’t think I’ve eaten in almost four to five days…I feel hungry, weak and betrayed.       “These h…hands can’t be m…mine,” I whispered sobbingly, “These arms… they f…feel unfamiliar…and my f…face…”  I broke down into silent sobs.   Pharaoh Atemu        If she had believed the teasing people had hurt her with before she must think herself so ugly and hideous now…scars marred her face and arms…I loved her still…no matter.  She was still so beautiful…      “I’m so sorry,” I said, kneeling beside her.  I would never…never see her smile again and it was almost too much to bear.      “Don’t l…look at me!” she exclaimed, “D…Don’t come near me!”      “Miss Katiana,” I began, reaching my hand out but she swatted it weakly away.  How much pain had she truly gone through?  How can I ask her to live when she clearly wants to die?  How can I ask her to endure when I have nothing to offer…when she believes I lie and won’t listen because her mind is too filled with these lies?      “H…how can you stand to be n…near me?” she asked, “So s…scarred and I’ve n…never seen a battle…”  Did she blame herself as well?  What did that damn thief do to her?      “It’s not your fault,” I said gently and kneeled by her.  She looked at me blankly, her tear stained eyes devoid of will, the will to live or even the will to listen.      “I w…was hurt because I w…was a f…fool!  I was foolish to f…fall in love…” she sobbed, “And I w…was the one to pay…no one’s f…fault but my own.  I was foolish to b…believe that I…someone like m…me could be loved…by someone…  Even Seto h…hates me…”      “Ra…by all the gods Miss Katiana no…you weren’t a fool,” I trailed, tears coming to my eyes, “I was…”      “It w…was all a game and I h…had been blind…  I was the prize…  I c…couldn’t see t…through your f…false lies…” she sobbed, “Your other h…half never existed…you w…were trying…you gave me an excuse and I…I fell for it!  Even Seto h…had been in on it and I still…”  She curled up into a ball and rocked slightly.  I didn’t know what to do…what could I do?  I don’t know if there was anything I could do at all…  I wanted to hold her, save her, take away her tears and comfort her.  I had no right to even touch her.  I had no right to even be near her.      “I’m sorry…I’m so sorry…” I whispered to her, “I never was worthy of you and now I’ve killed your spirit…”      “No,” she said amidst sobs, “D…Destroyed me…”  The moment she said that…spoke those words…I felt my heart shatter into a million pieces…      “Miss Katiana…” I whispered, trying to bring myself to raise my head and look at her.  I did and she looked at me, her eyes full of pain.   Katiana   How stupid could I be A simpleton could see That you’re no good for me But you’re the only one I see…        “Pharaoh…” I began, the urge to hurt him as much as he had hurt me rising, “I h…hate you…  I d…despise you…”  I watched the tears flood his eyes and any life in them faded.      “Miss Katiana?” he asked trying to choke back sobs.  I had said it…I had told him I hated him.      “I h…hate you,” I repeated and watched him stand, my tear stained eyes matching his.      “It’s no more than I deserve but still…it hurts,” he said and walked away from me.   Everything changes Everything falls apart I can’t to feel myself losing control In the deep of my senses I know        I was lying…to myself and to him…  I couldn’t hate him…I couldn’t loathe and despise him as I should for hurting me…  It was why my heart was hurting…because I still love him!  I still love him even though I know I should hate him and despise him and my heart hurt so badly now!  I still love him…and he lied to me…betrayed me…   How stupid could I be? A simpleton could see That you’re no good for me But you’re the only one I see   Pharaoh Atemu        I couldn’t help her…save her…anything.  I shut the door lightly; not completely closing it but not leaving it all the way open either.  I was holding onto some small hope that she’d call out to me…that she would ask to eat something to get strong again…  that she would repeat the words that I heard her say once and walked away from…      “Too weak to get the girl…” a voice crowed from inside my head and I found myself pressed up against the back of the wall.  No…no, not now!      “Go away,” I said, gritting my teeth.  I wouldn’t let him hurt her, not now…not ever!
     “This time I won’t…you think you truly won the last time you fought me?  I let you win fool…you won’t be that lucky again…” he said and laughed a chilling laugh.  I began to fight against him and felt any strength I was using ebb away quickly.  No…Miss Katiana!      “No…no…” I murmured as I began to fall to the floor.      “Fool,” he said through his dark laughter, “Such a fool…”   Katiana        I loved him still…and he hurt me…  I was truly broken…please…I don’t know who to believe anymore…what to believe anymore…  I wish…I wish I knew…      “Oh Miss Katiana…” a cold voice beckoned.   How stupid could I be?
A simpleton could see
That you’re no good for me But you’re the only one I see…   TBC   A/N: Next chapter’ll be a big one!  You know the drill, read and review but don’t flame!  Alright then, I’ll see you next chapter!