Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Dying Again ❯ Dying Again ( Chapter 1 )

Yami Bakura sat in the chilly bedroom of his hikari, shivering. It had been an hour since their fight-why had Ryou not returned? He played with the option of going after the boy, but decided against it. Ryou wouldn't be happy if he caught Bakura doing the one thing they had been arguing about: being overprotective. So, he stayed in his solitary spot at the foot of Ryou's bed and waited. And waited. And waited. And, for a change of pace, waited.

Ryou never came home.

At about three o'clock that afternoon, he got the call. It was Malik, sounding as though he'd been crying.

"Bakura," he sobbed, "Bakura, you have to get down here!"

"Where?" Bakura asked.

"The hospital. Bakura… it's Ryou."

Bakura's heart froze. Panic seized him. He couldn't breathe.

"What? What happened to Ryou?" he asked, "Is he alright?"

"He was hit by a car just about an hour ago. He's in surgery now. You need to get down here, now."

"I'm on my way."

~ Bakura's POV~

The hospital emergency room was even colder than my hikari's bedroom, and I was left wishing I had brought a jacket. Malik sat with me, holding my hand softly, comfortingly. I was glad he and Marik were here. Apparently, before Ryou had lost consciousness, he'd given someone their number. That hurt. He didn't even want me there in the ER with him. Had I upset him that much?

"He loves you, you know that, right?" Marik said as he sat in the chair next to mine, so I was sandwiched between the two tanned Egyptians. Malik stroked my hair soothingly, and I nodded at Marik.

"I know. I love him, too," I whispered, and we fell silent, awaiting the doctor with news about Ryou's condition. We didn't speak again until the man returned.

I stood when he came out of the swinging doors, and he looked at me.

"You must be Bakura," he said immediately, "So, you're Ryou's… brother?"

"No," I answered immediately. The doctor understood. We'd met this man before, I suddenly recognized him. Ryou had gone to him for a checkup once.

"Well, Ryou's in critical condition right now. I'm sorry, but… we're not sure he'll survive the night." The doctor left before I had the chance to react.

Might not survive… I never wanted to think about existing without Ryou. Oh, I knew he'd pass on eventually, and I'd still be living out Yami's sentence in the Ring, but it was nice to pretend that we'd be together forever. Now I was faced with the prospect of living on without Ryou. I couldn't bear it.

"Bakura?" asked Malik when I sat down, "Are you okay?"

I numbly registered nodding, but there was never a time when I was more not okay.

"He'll make it, Bakura, I know he will," Marik said, but I could see a silent tear fall down his cheek, "Ryou's always been a fighter, right? He's too stubborn to die."

Oh, how I wished that was true.

The doctor returned three hours later.

"I… think this is it," he said solemnly, "We've done all we could, but his condition's not improving. He's regained consciousness, but we don't think he'll survive. If you like, you can go speak with him."

We nodded, and followed him.

Ryou looked so small, so helpless attached to all those wires and machines. I wanted to rip them off him, hold him in my arms, breathe my life into him… but I knew I couldn't.

We sat around him, Malik, Marik, and me. I held his hand and he smiled at me.

"Bakura…" he whispered so softly I had to lean over to hear him, "Bakura… I'm so sorry, yami. I didn't mean to get you angry. I love you, yami, I really do. I don't think you're overprotective. I never really minded you protecting me. I really did like it."

"Don't worry, hikari, as soon as you get out of here-" I started, but Ryou cut me off.

"Don't, yami. You and I both know I'm not leaving here alive. This is it, Bakura. These are my final words. I'm glad you're here to share them with me. Bakura, I love you. Even when you hit me and yelled at me and said bad things, I loved you. When my father died, you were there. When I grieved for him, you grieved with me. I couldn't love you more for that."

"I love you, too, Ryou," I said, tears running down my cheeks. I couldn't believe I was losing my Ryou.

"Bakura? Can I ask one favor?" my dying angel asked me.

"Of course you can, hikari."

"Can… can I have just… one more kiss, koi?"

I started to sob as I pressed my lips against the cold ones of my little Ryou, and he weakly kissed back. He sighed, and his head fell back onto the pillow.

"Bakura…" he whispered, and I knew he was slipping away, "I… I… love… you…" His eyes closed, and they didn't open again.

"Ryou," I squeaked, " Oh, Ryou, I love you, too…" My throat tightened as my tenshi's chest rose and fell for the last time.

Then, there was pain beyond anything I'd ever felt, and I blinked. When my eyes opened, I was in my soul room. I collapsed on the bed I had put there when I was first sealed into the Ring and, for the first time in my existence, I really, truly cried.

It's been three years since my first beloved hikari died. I miss him terribly, but it's made me realize something.

I was never meant to love.

I loved Marik back in Egypt. I saw him die at the hands of Yami's bodyguards. I loved Ryou, and I saw him die right in front of my eyes. The fates must not want me to be happy. They don't want me to be in love. So, I'm taking their advice. Never again will I allow myself to love.

But there will always be a place in my heart for Ryou. There has to be. He is my heart. No other will take his place. I don't want to die again.

That's what it felt like when my Ryou died. Like I was dying all over again. I understand now that song that Ryou always liked, by that group I could never pronounce:

I'm dying again

I'm going under

Drowning in you

I'm falling forever

I've got to break through…

I'll always remember those lyrics. They'll always remind me of him. Those words express perfectly how I'm feeling. Never will I forget him, nor will I forget Ryou.

Just like you promised me, tenshi, always and forever.

I suddenly feel a tingling sensation throughout my body, and I recognize it immediately: I'm getting a new hikari. I'm thrown out of the Ring, and suddenly, I'm sitting in a frilly, pink bedroom, a little girl with long white hair is sitting in front of me.

"… Bonjour," she whispers, apparently not afraid of me, like Ryou was.

I look at her and begin to cry.