Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ First to Break ❯ First to Break ( Chapter 1 )

First to Break

Disclaimer: I don't own Yugioh, nor do I own Savage Garden's song `I Don't Know You Any More' WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Summary: Seto hurt Ryou a year ago. Ryou packed his bags and left. Now Seto's the first to break and meets him alone after a year, but Ryou's moved on more than he realised. Songfic, one-shot angsty romance.

Author's Notes: another one-shot from me, but this time it's a songfic. I love Savage Garden's song `I Don't Know You Any More' so I based this ficcie on the song. Also, Mokuba would be around 20, so Seto and Ryou would be 26.

// ~ // - song lyrics

----- First to Break ----

Bakura Ryou set his bag down next to the small table in the hallway. Immediately his hand went to the answering machine, which showed he had received a new message. It was probably Yugi-tachi, asking him to join them on one of their outings again. He usually went along just for the sake of being with them, instead of having to stay at home, by himself.

He pressed the little green button, listening to the recording.

"You have reached Bakura residence. There's no one home right now so please leave your message after the tone and we'll get back to you as soon as possible."

" - Ryou? Ryou, it's me."

~

// I would like to visit you for a while

Get away and out of this city

Maybe I shouldn't have called

But someone had to be the first to break //

~

Ryou heard the person draw a deep breath; his finger was already hovering over the button that would delete the message. He would give him a chance to say something, but if he didn't soon, then it would be too late. There simply wasn't anything that would help stop the pain he had been caused and had to suffer for the past year.

"I know it's probably too late, but I want to apologise. I'm sorry for hurting you, for everything I've put you through. It's been hard for the both of us, I know and I'm sorry. Especially for you. I - I want a chance to make it up to you."

The albino shook his head and blinked several times, hard, to keep his feelings at bay. Yes, it was too late to be apologising and yes, it had been very hard for him.

"I'll be waiting for you in the park, by the fountain, today at four. I hope you'll be there."

Ryou was just about to press the `delete' button, when the voice spoke again.

"Aishiteru."

~

// We cab go sit on your back porch, relax

Talk about anything, it don't matter

I'll be courageous if you can

Pretend that you've forgiven me //

~

3:57pm.

Kaiba Seto stood anxiously beside the fountain, looking at his watch. He had cancelled all his meetings for the afternoon for this. Not that he was complaining or anything. If anything, he was glad that he had done so, if only to get away from the damned office. This was important to him and he would gladly skip important meetings for it.

He was reminded of a time when he would purposely leave a whole day free just to be with his koibito and his brother Mokuba. They would go on an outing, whether to the beach, sailing, the amusement park or the middle of nowhere. Once he'd even dragged them to Paris, France, just on a whim.

Otherwise they would sit on the back porch while Mokuba played his video games, talking and enjoying each other's company. It was at these times he was really at peace with the world. There was something about his koi's presence that soothed and calmed.

3:58pm.

Two more minutes. He had two more minutes until he would find out whether or not he had been forgiven. Even if the chances were slim to none, he would wait and hope. There was nothing to it except praying, hoping - wishing - that it was all right again. A year ago, he had caused the most important person in his life to leave. They had parted on bad terms and even peacemaker Yugi had said it would be difficult to patch up.

Something hit his feet. Looking down, he found a small, blue ball. He picked it up and thought back to a time when Mokuba would plead and beg for them to come to the park with him and play a game or two. He would always be last to comply. Then again, he had only done so because his koi enjoyed it so much. The clock struck four.

"Do you still play ball games?" a familiar, soft voice asked.

~

//Cos I don't know you any more

I don't recognise this place

The picture frames have changed

And so has your name //

~

He didn't look too different from before, only lovelier and maturer. His silvery hair fell past his shoulders a little more, framing his delicate face and large, auburn eyes. He wore a light blue blouse, cuffs unbuttoned and folded back casually, over a white T-shirt, with faded jeans and a grey belt. His pale lips rested in a calm line, gentle and yet unsmiling.

"Ryou . . ."

~

// We don't talk much any more

We keep running from the pain

But what I wouldn't give

To see your face again //

~

Seto hadn't changed much at all. He was still tall, lean and muscular. A black trench coat had replaced his blue one, though in the same style. He wore highly polished shoes, as always, and a very expensive dress shirt and pants. As high class and stylish as always. Only there was his Copenhagen blue eyes filled with a sense of pain.

Ryou stood still as he dropped the little blue ball and stumbled over to him. He let the other embrace him in an almost desperate manner. He took a deep, shuddering breath to calm his nerves and the emotions threatening to spill forth.

"I've missed you." Seto's voice was hoarse. "Aishiteru."

"Please let me go, Kaiba-san."

"Ryou?" Seto realised the other hadn't responded to his embrace. "Daijoubu?"

"I said, please let me go - Kaiba-san," Ryou repeated, more firmly. "Onegai."

Seto pulled back in confusion at his flat tone. Ryou never used to be so emotionless. He almost sounded like Seto himself, back before their relationship. The dark brown eyes, usually soulful, were shuttered closed.

A shower of cherry blossom petals swept by with the wind, coming to land in the fountain.

~

// Springtime in the city

Always such relief from the winter freeze

The snow was more lonely than cold

If you know what I mean //

~

"We're over." He fingered the ring on his finger. "You understand that, right?"

~

// Everyone's got an agenda, don't stop

Keep that chin up, you'll be alright

Can you believe what a year it's been?

Are you still the same? Has you're opinion changed? //

~

Seto felt hurt and betrayal seething through him when he saw the ring. So it had been true. Ryou had found someone to replace him, someone else to love. He didn't need him any more. He hated that fact.

"You went to him didn't you?" he hissed, suddenly acid. "You went straight to him after you left. I don't understand you."

"I don't understand you, Kaiba-san," Ryou replied calmly. "All the while, during our relationship, you claimed to trust me. But you carried doubts about my friendship with the others, especially Ryuuji. You just couldn't seem to believe that, even if he did love me, you had been the only one in my eyes."

"You betrayed me with him."

"No, I didn't."

"Explain that then." An accusing finger was pointed at the ring. "Explain the ring."

"You say that I betrayed you during our relationship, with Ryuuji. When we fell apart, I had almost managed to convince myself it was true. That was when I discovered the real truth behind your accusations.

"You were scared." The words were like a whiplash, though spoken gently. "Guilt ate you up from the inside and blinded you. It wasn't you who was betrayed. It was me."

~

// Cos I don't know you any more

I don't recognise this place

The picture frames have changed

And so has your name //

~

Seto knew he was right and it hurt. At that instant, that moment, when Ryou packed up and left his own mistakes and the guilt he felt had blinded him, refusing to let him follow and apologise. Yes, he had been sleeping with Marik several months into his and Ryou's relationship. All the while though, he had felt guilty for doing so and yet, when he wanted to break it off, Marik would always find a way to convince him not to.

"Ryou . . ."

Eventually, Ryou received hints and clues as to their affair. He ignored them, convinced that everything would eventually sort itself out, until Seto had failed to notice he was seriously ill. That time, he had gone into hospital for three days because of broken ribs. It was his best friend, Otogi Ryuuji, who discovered and took care of him. In those three days, Seto had been with Marik, on a `business trip'.

After he came home, to an empty house, Ryou had had enough.

"You were never around to notice me any more," he said. "Mokuba was in Tokyo, attending university, and you barely had time to call him. You claim to love the both of us and yet you ignored us. The only times you noticed me, felt protective of me, was when you thought that someone would take me away.

"I became your possession, a thing you owned and had a right to own. No one was allowed to touch me, to care about me, except you. For all the freedom you had given me, I might as well have been locked in the mansion all day.

"I'm not a piece of furniture, Kaiba-san, that's always been around. I don't have to wait for you to notice me, in the shadows, waiting to please you. I'm not a servant, nor a slave. You made me feel all those things when you began an affair outside our relationship. The only escape I had was with Ryuuji.

"He loved me and I knew he would trust me to know where my loyalties lie. When I despaired the most, he was there beside me, helping me. You? Probably sleeping with Marik the whole time. I sprained my ankle and it was Ryuuji who helped me bandage and take care of it. Bakura tried to rape me - Ryuuji saved me in time.

"You - were - never - there. I never complained once about your coming home late, never questioned you. I trusted you to be really working. Every piece of evidence pointing to the fact that you were sleeping with Marik I disregarded, thinking that you would never do that to me. I hoped it would all blow over and we'd all be happy. I was being naïve."

~

// We don't talk much any more

We keep running from these sentences

But what I wouldn't give

To see your face again //

~

"So you see, Ryuuji brought me back from depression. He helped cure me of it, made me happy again, like he had all those other times when you weren't there. I learned to let my heart breath again because of him. Last month, he proposed - and I accepted."

~

// I know I've let you down again and again

I know I never really treated you right

I've paid the price

I'm still paying for it every day //

~

It was Seto's turn to talk, shaking himself out of his shocked trance. What Ryou told him cut deeply. Worst of all, every single part of it was true. But, hadn't he paid the price when he had finally come to terms with the fact that Ryou had moved, changed his number and told no one but Otogi Ryuuji about it and wasn't about to come back to the mansion? He went into a fit of depression too, quickly and finally ending things with Marik, immersing himself with work to numb the pain.

"I never meant for things to turn out this way," he said, pained. "I never wanted to betray you with Marik - he seduced me into his sick, twisted game. If I had had a choice, I would have chosen to be with you."

"You're making excuses, Kaiba-san."

The formality in Ryou's tone made him wince.

"Don't call me that, onegai, Ryou."

"Don't call me as if we were still close, Kaiba-san," he replied evenly, though his voice was edged with ice. "I assure you, we aren't. I'm getting married to a man who loves me despite everything that's happened, who's willing to trust my judgement and loyalties. You had your chance and you blew it. There's no easy way to say it."

~

// So maybe I shouldn't have called

Was it too soon to tell? Oh, what the hell

It doesn't really matter

How do you redefine something that never really had a name?

Has your opinion changed? //

~

"If that's all, I'll be going now."

Ryou turned to leave, walking in the same direction he came from. After taking about ten steps, he stopped and turned around halfway.

"You're forgiven," he said. "I really did love you."

He left Seto watching his disappearing back in surprise. After everything - all those things he said was wrong about their relationship - he still could find it in himself to say that he loved him. Ryou was every bit the forgiving, beautiful and loving angel.

"Aishiteru," Seto murmured one last time. "Arigatou - for forgiving me."

~

// Cos I don't know you any more

I don't recognise this place

The picture frames have changed

And so has your name

// We don't talk much any more

We keep running from the pain

But what I wouldn't give

To see your face again

// I see your face

I see your face . . .//

---- End ----