Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Freak of Nature Documentary ❯ The House Down Under ( Chapter 1 )

The pair soon found themselves sitting at a café for their planning session. "So.... just how're we gonna do this?" Joey put forth, wolfing down a cheeseburger as his after-school snack.

Seto was sipping a cup coffee, looking thoughtful. "I suppose we'll just have to procure camcorders and get the footage."

"Yeah.... but like, meeting times and stuff? This aint the sorta thing we can go solo on." Joey asked, swallowing a mouthful of meat and cheese.

"Obviously." Seto put down the cup, trailing one long finger around it's rim absently. "We'll have to take turns with this. Do you prefer to go first, or should I?"

Joey blinked several times. Kaiba.... asking HIS opinion? Quick, somebody call the Guinness Book of World Records! It was an omen! ....But what sort? The end was near.... Or maybe the CEO was just forcing himself to be tolerant, since he really had no choice in the matter. Darnit.... He sighed. "You can go first, if you want."

"Gladly." Seto responded, short and bittersweet. The sooner he went, the sooner he could get this OVER with....

"....Okaaay...." The blonde shifted uncomfortably, somewhat disoriented by his partner's seeming.... friendliness, if you could call it that. The guy wasn't exactly the sort you would expect to walk around and give out hugs....

"Something the matter, mutt?" Seto casually leaned forward, one elbow resting on the table as he raised his deep blue eyes coyly to meet Joey's light brown ones. His expression remained placid and serious, quite effectively hiding his mirth. He'd spent a long time perfecting his poker face, and it did serve him well. As long as they were being forced to work together, he might as well try to enjoy it....

"...Eh? What?" Joey blinked, somewhat startled at their sudden proximity to each other. Make that seriously shaken. He just KNEW Kaiba wasn't the touchy-feely type! But he could swear that the guy looked almost.... concerned? So what _was_ he doing?! This was getting confusing fast. "I-I'm fine.... thanks." The last part was thrown in, almost as an afterthought.

"Good." Seto gave him a small, roguish smile, then leaned back again, face expressionless once more.

"....If you say so...." This was just too weird.... He wouldn't have believed it, if it hadn't happened to him. Seto was NEVER concerned about him.

"And I did, didn't I?" Seto asked, a sparkle of amusement in his eyes. He rarely felt this playful; but then again, it was just as fun making Joey uncomfortable as it was to rile him up. Almost as easy, too. Perhaps this time wouldn't be so bad, after all....

"Umm... right." Just to have something to do, rather than endure the awkward moment, Joey wadded up his burger wrapper and shot it at the somewhat-distant trash can. It was going.... going.... goooone! "Yeah!" Three pointer, at the buzzer! Wheeler wins the game!

"So, I guess it's settled then." Seto got up and pushed his chair in, turning to stride off confidently.

"Yeah..." Joey watched him leave, a small, thoughtful frown on his face. "...Hey! Talk to you later, right?"

Seto dropped his cup into the trash, glancing back over his shoulder carelessly as he walked. "Of course."

~*~*~*~

Seto fit his hand around the video camera, picking it up. The thing was small; if your pockets were reasonably large, you might be able to fit it in. One of the newer models, obviously. A blank microtape was already fitted snugly into place. The whole ensemble had been tested and deemed functional, ready to go. "No time like the present." Seto quoted the old cliché with a wry quirk of the mouth, straightening his jacket collar and getting ready to go.

Weekends were usually busy times for him, what with the office work and homework to catch up on. Thankfully, though, the homework load was light, and he was sure that if he really buckled down on his office work, then everything would be manageable. After all, most of his homework this weekend would be hands-on.

The walk was pleasant; he didn't feel like taking the limo. He really ought to get out and stretch his muscles more, get a breath of fresh air. It was easy to forget how good it could be. Now, how did it go, again? Turn left at the stop sign...

There it was, nearly a block away. The one-story house looked a little worse for the wear, and could definitely stand a little repair work being done on it. Seto put the camcorder up to his eye, flicked the power switch, and began to film. He hadn't planned out what he was going to say beforehand.... which was rather odd, because he always planned

thoroughly for things other than the spontaneous media interviews, which he was forced

to 'wing'. Fortunately though, those instances when the press pounced on him had

allowed-- more like forced-- him to develop fantastic improvisational skills.

"Hello, and welcome. This is a research project, funded by Ms. Ross of Domino High, of the study of the behaviors, habitat, and personality of the specimen Josephis Wheelerus, commonly refered to as a Joey-- not to be confused with the young of a kangaroo. The following will be an authentic documentary on this rare and fascinating breed of canine, conducted by yours truly, Seto Kaiba." He narrated, voice smooth, even, and calm. It sounded as though he'd actually rehearsed the lines.

"The wild Joey is a naturally very exciteable creature, and needs only the slightest stimuli to elicit a response. As he happens to be very sensitive, it is an easy task to discover something to provoke him to action. With his generally fiery temper, this creature is prone to violence, and will seldom hesitate to attack. Care and caution are strongly advised when approaching, handling, or merely associating with a Joey." Seto continued with the general description as they neared the house, warming to his task considerably. "Despite these rather glaring flaws, Joeys are generally extremely well-liked. This is due, in large part, to their highly gregarious nature, and the fact that their temperment's show marked improvements when surrounded by peers. The main changes witnessed include the development a sense of humor, a more easy-going nature, an extreme supportiveness, and a decrease in the amount of rash actions. The Joey is usually seen in pack groups with at least two or more different species, which he shows an unerring loyalty to, often

migrating with them to unknown destinations by strange routes. This raises many

questions about his yearly behaviors, as these migrations are seldom during conventional seasons."

He stopped in front of the house. "And here we come upon the Joey's natural habitat. As you can see, the wild Joey resides in a weather-worn cave in the middle of a savannah, composed primarily of brick. The cavern walls' openings are generally shored up with

whatever materials are on hand, to defend against the elements and possible predators,

with the most common being glass and wood." The camera panned slowly over the

grounds, showing the house in critical detail. "Joeys are generally diurnal creatures, so we should find our study specimen fully awake and active. Come, let us further

investigate this canine's lair." Seto approached the house carefully, debating what to do next as he walked, and what the main differences between himself and a Peeping Tom were at the moment. Well, Peeping Toms usually didn't record what they saw, he thought with a touch of whimsy.