Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Freak of Nature Documentary ❯ Man's Best Friend ( Chapter 2 )

Seto crept over to the house, fine leather shoes not making a sound as he stalked through the long grass. He paused at a window, standing to the side to film with a slimmer possibility of being spotted. "And here, we get our first glimpse of the Joey." Who was currently sitting on the couch, a bowl of popcorn beside him and a can of soda in hand. From the muted noises filtering through the window pane, Seto could hear he was watching some sort of TV show. "This dog is fairly simple to recognize, despite his rather mundane appearance, if you have a clear view of him. Notice the light brown eyes, the lanky build, and the distinctive colors of his fur. At the cranial area, you can see a mane of distinctive blonde locks. His back and forelimbs are furred with a dull green, with the underbelly being white." Kaiba zoomed in a bit, the camera shifting slightly to focus on Joey's shirt and jacket. "As you near the hindquarters, the fur changes to a denim blue...." The camera swept down the legs of Joey's jeans.

"Joeys are only naturally seen in the stage marked by experts as adolescence, a stage between full maturity and independence, and its childhood. This has been the cause of many speculations about this canine breed. Where do they come from? What do they look like in these mysteriously absent life stages? Why do their vocalizations show such a startling divergence from the norm?" Seto asked the questions as if they were rhetorical, smirking lightly. It must be annoying to have an accent....

"Worth mentioning as well, the omnivorous Joey's feeding habits are highly irregular. With no set time, the Joey is prone to consume whatever is edible in an area. A word of caution to any aspiring Joey watchers, any researcher worth their salt should know not to interrupt their meals. Doing so is unrecommended, highly dangerous, and can have unpredictable results. The consequences could very well be dire, as Joeys show a marked possessiveness when it comes to food." The CEO held back a chuckle, recalling a certain scene involving Joey, Tristan, a plate of french fries, and foil ketchup packets. The

results, needless to say, had NOT been pretty. "Joeys have been shown to procure food in many ways. Their scavenging skills are exceptional, and occasionally, they are known to hunt..." Or, in human terms, stick something into the microwave and cook. "....and it has even been recorded that they will occasionally resort to herbivorous behaviors." In another words, eating vegetables, or some other such healthy item. Such a drastic starvation measure!

"Often, the Joey will sit inert for long periods of time, staring at a contraption with a heart of glass, and manipulating a chunk of plastic." The camera zoomed in on the TV and remote control. "It is uncertain as to why he does this. Some people believe that this is an instinctive response to danger, much like one that an opossum displays,

camouflaging himself by remaining silent and still. Still others believe this happens only

after meals to facilitate digestion, much like behavior displayed by serpents. The views are many and conflicting; we may never know this action's true purpose."

Joey turned the TV off, and stood up, bringing the empty bowl and can into the kitchen. Seto stealthily circled the house to find another window to film from, and finally settled on the window of the dining room, which had a few books and papers scattered over it. Joey sat down with a sharpened pencil, and flipped open his math book. "Ahh, yes. Here we are privileged to witness another enigmatic behavior quirk of our canine specimen. The opinions on this action are as many and varied as on our previous topic, and equally confusing. Here, we see the Joey sitting amidst a heap of paper scraps, along with several large stacks of these scraps stuck together, perhaps imitating rocks, and manipulating them with the help of a rubber pebble and a pointed stick." A close-up of Joey doing geometry. "The most prevalent view of this behavior is that the Joey is marking his territory, much like a feline scratches things to demonstrate their sovereign reign over a particular area. However, because Joeys lack claws, they are forced to use a crude tool as a substitute."

Seto's eyes widened, and he quickly turned off the camera, cursing softly as his keen ears picked up the sound of approaching footsteps. From his somewhat sheltered position, he could see Yugi and the rest of his friends approaching the front door. If he stayed here, he would be found out....

So, he did what any sensible person would do: he ran.

Seto quietly fled towards the back of the house, grateful for the unpruned bushes that were near the outside wall of the house, and took refuge in them. You know, come to think of it, this would be a perfect chance for some more shots....

The doorbell rang, and Joey hurried to answer it. "Hey, guys! How ya doing?"

"I'm great. How have you been?" Yugi walked in, followed closely by Ryou, Tea, and Tristan.

"Eh, you know. The usual." The group loosely assembled in the living room, and were soon stocked with sodas, as well as a large bowl of chips on the table.

Seto made his way cautiously to the window, and started to film again. "Now, we are able to see Joey as he is among his pack. Notice the difference in his behavior." Sure enough, Joey was much more animated in the presence of his friends, talking and

laughing. Joey scooped a pillow off the couch to throw, beaning Tristan upside the head. His friend quickly secured another pillow, and the two went at it, having a cheering section on the couch that was watching their scuffle.

"Here, we see the Joey locked in battle against another peculiar species, the Tristan " Seto began a running commentary. "Notice the distinctive crest of brown fur on the head, angled forward. The other species of this particular pack are the Tea, the Yugi, and the Ryou, all fascinating subjects. But regrettably, as this documentary focuses on the Joey, I'm afraid I digress."

The pillow fight soon wound to a close, as Tristan managed to get the upper hand, smothering Joey's face under a pillow and pinning him triumphantly. "And here, we see that our ambitious specimen was beaten soundly by the Tristan."

Grousing to himself as he was let up, Joey took a swig of his soda. Maybe for now, he'd do something that wouldn't involve him being suffocated... "Hey Yugi, wanna duel? Just for practice?"

"Sure." Yugi pulled his deck from his pocket, as did Joey, and the two cleared a space on the coffee table.

Seto smirked, and edged closer to the window. "Now, we see the Joey and the Yugi cooperating in a frequent-- yet mysterious-- occurrence, manipulating pieces of brightly colored cardboard. There are also many speculations about this joint activity. It could be a primitive game, in which the two sharpen their hunting skills. It could, though unlikely, be a courtship. Perhaps, as many presume, it is a ritual battle of dominance between the two competitors. This seems somewhat strange, as the Joey isn't naturally territorial."

The bushes rustled as Seto moved. Tea lifted her head. "What was that?"

"What was what?" Ryou asked, also cocking his head to listen.

"That noise. I think it came from outside." Tea responded, concentrating.

"Why don't I go look?" Ryou suggested, standing up.

Oh, great, he was going to be found out! Seto turned the camera off, and threw himself into a sidelong roll to clear the window, flattening himself against the ground in a spread-eagled fashion. He stayed absolutely still, and measured his breathing, schooling it to be quiet and shallow as the adrenaline spiked through him.