Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ I Walk Alone ❯ I Walk Alone ( One-Shot )

A/N: Well, I'm finally trying my hand at a songfic. The song is Boulevard of Broken Dreams, by Green Day. I'm quite proud of this, even though I think it's quite obvious that the fic was written to reflect the lyrics of the song, rather than the song chosen to reflect the style of the fic. Eh.
Between ~~little squiggly lines~~ equals song lyrics, `kay?
Also, Merry (Belated) Christmas!

Disclaimer: Yuugiou (or Yugioh, or Yu-Gi-Oh!) and all it's characters are copyright to Kazuki Takahashi, and I'm only using the characters and universe for my own enjoyment, and make no money out of it. Once again, these characters are not mine!

The song Boulevard of Broken Dreams belongs to Green Day, and is only used here to enhance the fic. To clarify, this song is not mine either!

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I Walk Alone

By LollipopMeems

Malik stood on the sidewalk, the only person in a deserted street.
He was in a city somewhere. He didn't remember the city's name, or the country's-he only knew that it was very wet, very cold and very far away from Egypt. He travelled around a lot now, he reflected, so he could be forgiven for forgetting.
It wasn't quite getting dark yet, but the light of the late afternoon was grey and chilly. Iron clouds gathered overhead, and a steel wind blew past. Malik shivered, balling his hands into fists and thrusting them into his pockets. The cold. He would never get used to the cold here. It just wasn't normal. Egypt had been a world of heat and sand and sun; the only cold had been at night. At night, he could live with it. In the daytime…

He felt a drip of water land on his head, then another, then another. He looked up at the sky, as rain began to pour down. Great. He hated the rain as much as the cold. Malik sighed, pulling his hood up. He was wearing a sweater, but it probably wouldn't be long before it was soaked through. He walked faster, just wanting to get home and out of the rain. But the wind was getting much colder, driving the rain into his face, and as he looked ahead he realised he'd never noticed how long the street was…

~~I walk a lonely road,~~
~~The only road that I have ever known.~~
~~Don't know where it goes,~~
~~But it's home to me~~
~~And I walk alone.~~

He shook his head, trying to turn his mind away from the weather. Focus on positive things, he'd been told. Apparently it makes things easier. He tried. He thought about his goals. He was close, close to finally getting his revenge. He had two God Cards out of three, and he'd have them all as soon as he found out where Isis had hidden Obelisk. He cursed silently to himself. Isis! His own sister, plotting against him. She didn't understand. She saw the past and the future with absolute clarity thanks to her Tauk, but as for the present… she was blind! She couldn't, wouldn't see that what he was doing was necessary. All she could think about was her duty to the Pharaoh!

It didn't matter. So she refused to see things his way. He'd get what he wanted, with or without her help. Even if he had to start over and crawl his way back up from the gutter, he'd get what he wanted. Even if he had to do it alone.

The wind was picking up, and the rain was driving down harder than ever. He shut his eyes, and tried to keep his mind focused on the good things, but a cold spread up him deep inside, a cold that had nothing to do with the weather, and he felt with absolute certainty that he was, indeed, alone in his quest, completely alone.

~~I walk this empty street,~~
~~On the boulevard of broken dreams.~~
~~Where the city sleeps~~,
~~And I'm the only one~~
~~And I walk alone~~.
~~I walk alone; I walk alone~~.
~~I walk alone; I walk alone.~~

((Alone? You're not alone. Not yet.))
Malik jumped, whirling around to see where the voice had come from. Instinctively, he stepped back into a defensive stance, one hand slowly moving towards his belt, where he carried the Millennium Rod with him at all times.
Someone laughed quietly, as if amused by his attempts to defend himself.
Malik's hand closed around the handle of the Rod. Slowly, slowly he eased it out from where it was shoved through his belt loop, raising it as stealthily as possible.
"Where are you?" he asked, sounding as calm as he could, but he couldn't help his voice shaking. He began to ease the sheath on the Rod's blade away, slowly, slowly…
He peered into the shadowy areas of the street, the corners, the back alleys-after living underground, he was used to semi-darkness, and was fairly confident he could see anyone if they were there-but he saw no-one. And yet he could still hear that quiet, mocking laughter. He glared. He hated being mocked.

Abandoning all attempts at stealth, he grabbed the sheath on the Rod with his free hand, pulling it off and baring the blade for all to see. He brandished it threateningly, but he was gripping it so hard that his knuckles were bone white.
The laughter got louder, more mocking and amused, ((You think you can kill me, if you need to, the moment I show myself. Idiot! Like the man who tried to run away from his shadow!))
"Who are you?" Malik cried, "And why, if what you say is true, can't I kill you?"
((Well, I suppose your shadow, in a way… And you can't kill me because I'm not standing here, in the street.))
"Then where are you!"
((In your mind, Malik. In your thoughts, in your soul, in your heart.))

~~My shadow's the only one that walks beside me.~~

((Your life is my life, Malik.))
Malik shook his head, "No. My life is mine!"
((Fool,)) the voice whispered, (( Fool…))
"Shut up!" Malik yelled. His voice echoed in the empty street.
((Like it or not, Malik…))
Malik was quiet for a moment. A new idea had reached him, and he took a moment to digest it.
"Are…" he said, unsure of how to phrase this question, "are you a ghost?"
((Are you?)) said the voice.
"What has that got to do with it?" Malik asked, annoyed that his question hadn't been answered.
((Because, Malik, I am you.))
"No," Malik said, "No, no you aren't. I'm me, I'm the only me."

~~My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating.~~

((You can make yourself believe it, said the voice,)) but you can't make it true.
Malik turned and ran down the street.
The voice scared him. He didn't know why. It wasn't his mind, it couldn't be. It was some moron, lurking there, trying to freak him out. Nothing to be afraid of.
((If I'm just a prankster, Malik, it said, how come I know your name, and your thoughts?))
"Go away!" Malik yelled. It knew what he was thinking, he realised. How could it, how could it!
"You're not a voice in my head," he said, determined to prove it true, "I've read about people who hear voices. They're not sane; they're completely paranoid!"
((If you're sane, why have you spent years obsessing over the Pharaoh, and how to kill him? If you're not paranoid, why do you lock seven locks on your bedroom door every night?))
"I don't have to listen to this," Malik muttered.
The voice sighed theatrically, ((Face the facts. You're paranoid; you're not normal; and more than that, you're stuck with me. And if you think you're in for your goals alone, that's nothing compared to how alone you'll be when I get my wishes. You won't have to deal with me then. But you won't have anyone else. You'll be truly alone.))
"Get out of my head…" Malik muttered. All at once, he wanted nothing more than to have his mind to himself, and the desire was overpowering. He prayed for it, praying to the gods for the first time in years. He prayed for this voice to be gone.

~~Sometimes I wish~~
~~Someone out there will find me.~~
~~`Til then I walk alone.~~

((The gods themselves can't free you from me. I am more powerful than any god!)) the voice boasted.
"I find that hard to believe," Malik said, angry that the voice was still there.
((Some day, I'll show you. And then you will believe me.))
"What do you want?" Malik cried.
((What do I want?)) it said, ((Everything. I want the world to be mine. I want to destroy it, and I want to rebuild it, and break it down again. What do I want from you? I want you to be mine to play with. My toy, and no one else's. Mine!))
"I want you to be gone," Malik muttered.
((Too bad. You can't separate us because we are the same person. What I want is what you want too, you know. The difference is you won't admit it,)) the voice said.
"I'll get rid of you," Malik said, determined, "I'll keep my mind."
((You can try, Malik, but that's a fight in which you are truly fighting alone.))

~~I'm walking down the line~~
~~That divides me somewhere in my mind.~~
~~On the borderline~~
~~Of the edge and where~~
~~I walk alone.~~

The rain was even heavier now. It had soaked through Malik's sweater long ago, and it plastered tendrils of his hair to his face. The water dripped down, and he blinked it out of his eyes, shivering. He felt tired, and the voice's words were depressing him, though he didn't know why. He turned into a side street, and crouched down, leaning against the wall. It was more sheltered here, though not by much. He shivered again. His clothes were clinging to his skin, wrapped around him with the weight of the rain-water. He hated the cold, and the wet.

Voice in his head or not, he felt alone. A voice in his head… Was he insane? He supposed obsessing over plans to murder an already dead Pharaoh wasn't so normal. But he'd known that! Peh. People might call him insane, if they knew, but they didn't understand. It all made perfect sense; he understood it logically. He wasn't some raving maniac.

~~Read between the lines~~
~~Of what's fucked up~~
~~And everything's all right.~~

It was so cold here, and the voice still whispered in his ear. He hated it, hated all of this! He blinked rain out of his eyes again. The water dripped down his face. He tasted salt on his lips… salt? He was crying. He wiped his eyes. He mustn't cry. Nothing had even happened to him, and he was crying! Was this all he was? Was he as weak as that, weak as the people he despised?

((Yes,)) the voice answered him.

"No…" he insisted, but he doubted his own words.

The voice was tricking him, he felt absolutely sure of it. It was tricking him, mocking him, making him cry and making him become weak. He needed it to leave, but was there no way, if the voice was really part of him?

Not even if he died?

~~Check my vital signs~~
~~To know I'm still alive~~
~~And I walk alone.~~

No. He couldn't die--couldn't kill himself. Not yet. Not before he killed the Pharaoh. He'd vowed to do this. He couldn't break that promise. He'd broken many promises, but this one was important. It needed to be done. Even with a voice in his head trying to sabotage him. Even alone.

~~I walk alone; I walk alone.~~

He stood up, ignoring his soaking wet clothes. He picked up the Rod, wiping the rain-water off the blade. He sheathed it again, but held the Rod in his hand as he walked home.

~~I walk alone; I walk alone.~~

The voice spoke again. ((Yes, fight on, Malik,)) it said, ((Keep searching and kill the Pharaoh. But you still won't get rid of me. I'll get what I want, and you'll be nothing.))
"Maybe," Malik said, biting his lip and trying to ignore the tears that still dripped salt across his mouth, "Maybe."

~~My shadow's the only one that walks beside me.~~

((You'll be alive, at the end of it all,)) said the voice, ((but you'll wish you weren't, and you won't be able to do anything about it. I'll be the only one who really lives.))

~~My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating~~.

Malik shut his eyes, then opened them again, realising how stupid it was to walk with them closed. He thought over and over again that the voice was wrong. He'd read somewhere that if you think something enough you can make it true. He hoped that really worked.
He didn't really want to be alone.

~~Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me.~~

But he knew he was.

~~`Til then I walk alone.~~

~~I walk alone; I walk alone.~~

He came to the docks after some time. His ship was here-the ship he lived on for now, he wasn't planning to stay in this country very long so there was no point in finding anywhere permanent. He climbed on board, heading for his cabin.

Rashid was just below deck, waiting for him.
"Master Malik," Rashid said, "are you alright?"
"Fine, Rashid," Malik said.
"You're soaking!" Rashid exclaimed, "Hang on, I'll get you a towel."
"Rashid!" Malik shoved Rashid away, exasperated, "I can look after myself!"
Rashid looked down, "I… I was just worried, Master Malik."
"Don't be," Malik said, striding away, refusing to look back so that he wouldn't have to see the hurt expression on Rashid's face.

~~I walk this empty street~~
~~On the boulevard of broken dreams.~~
~~Where the city sleeps~~
~~And I'm the only one~~
~~And I walk alone.~~

He entered his cabin, closing the door behind him. As he started to lock the bolts on the door, he remembered what the voice had said. Paranoid? Maybe it was. Did that mean he really was insane?
No. He wasn't insane, wasn't paranoid. He was just conscious of security, that was all. Someone had to be. And he had a lot of expensive things-he'd made quite a bit of money from leading the Ghouls. He didn't want them to get stolen.
That would be somewhat ironic.

He locked the rest of the bolts.

Malik pulled off his sweater, hanging it over the heater to dry. He looked for a towel, found one, and began to dry his hair off. He changed into pyjamas-why not? He wouldn't be going out again that night; he had nothing he needed to do. He lay down on his bed, and sighed.

Rashid was annoying, when he worried so much. But, Malik thought, it did mean he cared. And if Rashid cared about him, it meant that he wasn't quite alone after all.

((Don't count on it. The servant will be dead when I win.))
Malik froze.
"I thought you were gone," he whispered.
The voice laughed, ((I told you earlier: I'm part of you, and I'm not going away.))

~~My shadow's the only one that walks beside me.~~

Malik pulled his pillow over his head.
((That's not going to stop you from hearing me, you know,)) said the voice.
"Just shut up…" Malik muttered.
He wondered what he had done to get him stuck with the voice anyway. It wasn't fair.
He still didn't believe the voice was him. He was himself.

~~My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating.~~

He felt very tired all of a sudden. Voices, rainstorms, he didn't want to deal with it anymore. Someone else would sort it out for him. In the morning…

~~Sometimes I wish~~
~~Someone out there will find me.~~
~~`Til then, I walk alone.~~

((Not alone,)) the voice whispered, as Malik drifted off to sleep. ((Not alone…))

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And that was it. I hope I did OK; I'm not quite sure I got Yami Malik (the voice, obviously) completely in character. He's hard to write. Ah well. Please review this fic. Meems