Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ In The Head of a Tomb Keeper ❯ Bordomness & The Fruitcake ( Chapter 1 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: RinaAmayaIshtar 
Malik is so bored, so he decides to go outside! A few disturbing meetings occur, including the fruitiest fruit of all time!
Anime/Manga: Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 03.14.2005 | Pages: 2 | Words: 1.1K | Visits: 427 | Status: Completed
Malik is so bored, so he decides to go outside! A few disturbing meetings occur, including the fruitiest fruit of all time!
Anime/Manga: Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 03.14.2005 | Pages: 2 | Words: 1.1K | Visits: 427 | Status: Completed
Oh, Ra. I am so freaking bored. It is so unbelievingly boring. It's so boring, even boredom would be bored.
Yawn.....
Hmm, how many of those little dots are on the ceiling?
1, 2, 3, 4.......
526, 527.......
What the hell? Is that a marshmallow on the ceiling?! Dammit Marik, I told you not to lick marshmallows and throw them at the ceiling!
Oh well. It will come off eventually.
Now, what number was I at?
625? Crap, I lost track! Sigh.
If I could morph my beautiful face into one of them little chat faces, then it would be this: -.-
But if I could do that, then I wouldn't be bored, now would I?
Damn.
Well, I could go outside. But then where would I go? Whatever, I'll just walk. Then I'll be somewhere. But then I won't know where I am if I don't know where I'm walking to? But then, how does one know where one's going if one doesn't know where one is?
Haha! I said something semi-intelligent! Go me!
Wait, who's One? That would be weird if I met a guy named One. Or a guy named Guy.
Ha. Well, I can't talk. My english dubbed name is Marik. All they did was change one stupid letter! Why the hell didn't they just keep it Malik?! I mean, how hard is it to say the "l" instead of "r". Idiot American dubbers.
And another thing! What's with the manwhore's name?! Her name sounds like a british drink. Tea. Well, if you want to get technical, you need to put the accent over the "e" so it sounds like "a". Téa. But it's funner to to make fun of her and call her Tea, like "ti". Hah! If you say it two times fast, you're saying "titi". Ha!
.....I don't know why I find that amusing.....
Ok, now I'm outside walking. I don't know where I am, only that.
......Ok, why did I stop talking?! I just stopped in mid-sentence! Anyway, I don't know where I am, only that I'm about fifteen feet from my front door. ....Wait....
Ahem, anyway, I'm walking along, dum dee dum dee dee......Ok, that's creepy, time to stop.
Now that dog is staring at me. Stupid dog, quit staring at me! I, Malik Ishtar, am above you, so I am superior!
Well, actually, the dog is in a tree, so it is above me, but metaphorically, I am superior!
Hey, two big words in one statement! I am so bad! Oh, and what now?
Ehem....
"Malik-boy!"
Oh, no. Please, don't tell me it's.....him.....
"Hello, Malik-boy! How wonderful to see you! Awahahaha!"
A girl.....guy? Ok, an "it" is strolling up to me, a fruity smile on it's fruity face. It's got fruity hair, fruity clothing, everything about his.....I'm assuming he's a dude.....is fruity. He's a fruitcake.
What kind of sick people would name their kid after a stupid winged horse the Greeks, or Romans or whatever, believed in?!
Obviously, his parents.....
"It's so wonderful to meet the villian of the second season!" Winged-horse Man says, flicking his fruity-ass hair.
I should have been first season! Because I, Malik Ishtar, am a far more sinister villian than that fruity man in the red suit! It's true! What did he do? He stole peoples' souls and put them in CARDS! And why? So he could attempt to reconcile for his dead girlfriend. I can see why she croaked. I don't blame her at all.
Oh well, I guess it's a "save the best for last" thing. But then, that means I'm nowhere near the last villian on the series, and I'm in the second season, which means I'm the second worst?! What kind of bullshit is that?! STUPID AMERICAN DUBBERS!
"Now now, Malik-boy, no need to be formal!" Fruity Winged-horse Man says, filing his nails.
What the hell is he talking about?!
"Ok, what would you have me call you?" I ask him sardonically.
Hah! Another big word! I'm getting smarter!
.....Aww, the authoress just took my dictionary from me! No fun!
Anyway, I got some names to call him....Fruitcake, Fruitloop, Fruit Rollup, Fruit Basket......oh great, now I'm hungry.
"Call me Peggy, Malik-boy!" "Peggy" says fruitedly.
Is "fruitedly" a word? Well it is now! Muahah!
"Hmmm....You know, I can see why you're girlfriend left you. I would too if I found out you were a gender-confused Flying Horse Man." I say meanly.
Is "meanly" a word? Oh well, I don't give a care about no grammar!
Ok, now Peggy the Winged-horse Man is sobbing and sucking his manicured thumb.
"T-that was meeeeann!" He wails, makinf several passers-by stare at us, if they weren't already. Man, he is really cramping my style.
Ohh! Lightbulb! I have an idea! I know, shocking, me thinking, but try to contain yourselves.
I get a long stick and poke the dog until it jumps out of the tree, and I hand it to Peggy.
"Cecillia! My beloved, you've returned!" He says, hugging it, and carries it off.
Poor dog, he looks like he's crying inside. Well, it's the dog's problem, not mine!
Crap. Now I'm being chased by angry P.E.T.A members waving "Stop the giving-away of stray dogs to overly feminine guys names after mythical beasts!"
Whew! I'm now back in my house, in the living room, on the couch, where I was before, staring at the ceiling.
Hmm....How many dots ARE on the ceiling?!
1, 2, 3, --SPLAT!--
.......
That was the sound of a wet marshmallow falling off the ceiling and making contact with my face.....
Yawn.....
Hmm, how many of those little dots are on the ceiling?
1, 2, 3, 4.......
526, 527.......
What the hell? Is that a marshmallow on the ceiling?! Dammit Marik, I told you not to lick marshmallows and throw them at the ceiling!
Oh well. It will come off eventually.
Now, what number was I at?
625? Crap, I lost track! Sigh.
If I could morph my beautiful face into one of them little chat faces, then it would be this: -.-
But if I could do that, then I wouldn't be bored, now would I?
Damn.
Well, I could go outside. But then where would I go? Whatever, I'll just walk. Then I'll be somewhere. But then I won't know where I am if I don't know where I'm walking to? But then, how does one know where one's going if one doesn't know where one is?
Haha! I said something semi-intelligent! Go me!
Wait, who's One? That would be weird if I met a guy named One. Or a guy named Guy.
Ha. Well, I can't talk. My english dubbed name is Marik. All they did was change one stupid letter! Why the hell didn't they just keep it Malik?! I mean, how hard is it to say the "l" instead of "r". Idiot American dubbers.
And another thing! What's with the manwhore's name?! Her name sounds like a british drink. Tea. Well, if you want to get technical, you need to put the accent over the "e" so it sounds like "a". Téa. But it's funner to to make fun of her and call her Tea, like "ti". Hah! If you say it two times fast, you're saying "titi". Ha!
.....I don't know why I find that amusing.....
Ok, now I'm outside walking. I don't know where I am, only that.
......Ok, why did I stop talking?! I just stopped in mid-sentence! Anyway, I don't know where I am, only that I'm about fifteen feet from my front door. ....Wait....
Ahem, anyway, I'm walking along, dum dee dum dee dee......Ok, that's creepy, time to stop.
Now that dog is staring at me. Stupid dog, quit staring at me! I, Malik Ishtar, am above you, so I am superior!
Well, actually, the dog is in a tree, so it is above me, but metaphorically, I am superior!
Hey, two big words in one statement! I am so bad! Oh, and what now?
Ehem....
"Malik-boy!"
Oh, no. Please, don't tell me it's.....him.....
"Hello, Malik-boy! How wonderful to see you! Awahahaha!"
A girl.....guy? Ok, an "it" is strolling up to me, a fruity smile on it's fruity face. It's got fruity hair, fruity clothing, everything about his.....I'm assuming he's a dude.....is fruity. He's a fruitcake.
What kind of sick people would name their kid after a stupid winged horse the Greeks, or Romans or whatever, believed in?!
Obviously, his parents.....
"It's so wonderful to meet the villian of the second season!" Winged-horse Man says, flicking his fruity-ass hair.
I should have been first season! Because I, Malik Ishtar, am a far more sinister villian than that fruity man in the red suit! It's true! What did he do? He stole peoples' souls and put them in CARDS! And why? So he could attempt to reconcile for his dead girlfriend. I can see why she croaked. I don't blame her at all.
Oh well, I guess it's a "save the best for last" thing. But then, that means I'm nowhere near the last villian on the series, and I'm in the second season, which means I'm the second worst?! What kind of bullshit is that?! STUPID AMERICAN DUBBERS!
"Now now, Malik-boy, no need to be formal!" Fruity Winged-horse Man says, filing his nails.
What the hell is he talking about?!
"Ok, what would you have me call you?" I ask him sardonically.
Hah! Another big word! I'm getting smarter!
.....Aww, the authoress just took my dictionary from me! No fun!
Anyway, I got some names to call him....Fruitcake, Fruitloop, Fruit Rollup, Fruit Basket......oh great, now I'm hungry.
"Call me Peggy, Malik-boy!" "Peggy" says fruitedly.
Is "fruitedly" a word? Well it is now! Muahah!
"Hmmm....You know, I can see why you're girlfriend left you. I would too if I found out you were a gender-confused Flying Horse Man." I say meanly.
Is "meanly" a word? Oh well, I don't give a care about no grammar!
Ok, now Peggy the Winged-horse Man is sobbing and sucking his manicured thumb.
"T-that was meeeeann!" He wails, makinf several passers-by stare at us, if they weren't already. Man, he is really cramping my style.
Ohh! Lightbulb! I have an idea! I know, shocking, me thinking, but try to contain yourselves.
I get a long stick and poke the dog until it jumps out of the tree, and I hand it to Peggy.
"Cecillia! My beloved, you've returned!" He says, hugging it, and carries it off.
Poor dog, he looks like he's crying inside. Well, it's the dog's problem, not mine!
Crap. Now I'm being chased by angry P.E.T.A members waving "Stop the giving-away of stray dogs to overly feminine guys names after mythical beasts!"
Whew! I'm now back in my house, in the living room, on the couch, where I was before, staring at the ceiling.
Hmm....How many dots ARE on the ceiling?!
1, 2, 3, --SPLAT!--
.......
That was the sound of a wet marshmallow falling off the ceiling and making contact with my face.....