Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Inner Struggle ❯ confession and tears ( Chapter 6 )

Inner Struggle

Author's Notes: I had a BIG writers block, I did write one earlier, but it really didn't fit into the story, so I had to remake it. Since this isn't planned out, I have no idea where I should stop or continue! *sigh* I'm sorry this took a while to update, plus fanfiction.net was experiencing some difficulties when I couldn't upload anything. Oh well, that doesn't matter.

Now exams are over! Yay! Don't have to worry about school for a while now do we? Maybe I should concentrate on this fic….

I would like to say thanks to all those who reviewed! They encourage me to use my brain! *Grabs my cat and hugs it*

Disclaimers: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh and their bishounen… *hugs Ryou*

Part 6

Outside my window, I could hear the raindrops slipping off the tree leaves and hitting the moist dirt. The misty air brought chills up my spine; I shivered violently as I wrapped the bed sheet around my small body.

The bright light flashed from the open window, again. I made a mental note: Do something about that stupid window. I turned myself over to avoid more light; I tried to go back to a dreamy slumber, until I noticed someone was breathing my face.

I could smell that same alcoholic breath at my face, the snore coming from the sleeping robber was soft and low. His silvery hair hung low on his redden face. I looked over to his arms, which was holding some of his usual beer bottles; I always wonder where the hell does he get these things.

The bed had the smell of blood, juices, and alcohol all over it. The sheets were in the same condition as well. Sheesh, can't anything stay clean around here? I lay still as my yami started to moan and moving closer to my naked flesh.

I felt his hot sweating skin rubbed over my shivering pale skin. He was naked. Why is he naked in the same bed as me in the morning? He usually never stays with me; I'm usually alone when I wake. Maybe he has a heart within his cold sinister body, or it could be the fact that he just drank too much, again.

His strong warm arms wrapped around my small body. My eyes were in shock; I gleamed at his face to check if he's awake. A smile curled up on his lips, but his eyes looked calm, and closed. I didn't care if he's awake or not, it feels nice to be in his arms.

I laid my head on his muscled chest, and snuggled at his neck. A warm feeling came over me. My heart was fulfilled with emotions, telling me he's the one who raped me, and he's the one I love. I wish I could be in his embrace forever, every worry or problem seemed to just flatter away.

I closed my eyes, enjoying every minute of this heavenly moment. It won't be long when Bakura would wake up with his usual crazy hangovers. I gazed at his sleeping face, Bakura, he looks so gentle when he's asleep, it's rare to see him like this. He reminds me of a sleeping kitten, expect the fact about his hair flying in all directions.

I looked at his lips, partly open as he continues to breath into my face. My heart beats faster, my face drowned in another pool of red. I have to control my blushing! I continued to gaze into his face.

I shifted myself closer to him; our lips were only a few inches apart. I've always wanted to kiss him, not the ones he would kiss me violently making my lips bleed or bruising the already tender mouth. Just one small kiss, a soft easy-going kiss that Bakura wouldn't notice.

I press my mouth to his, I closed my eyes, I'd probably never get a chance to do this I told myself. My yami's fingers lingered behind my head, and pressed our faces closer. My eyes popped open, Bakura's awake?

Our lips separated, a string of saliva split between us. Frightened, I looked down, letting my snowy hair hang loose on my face. He always told me never to look directly into his eyes unless he tells me so. I curled myself in the messy bed sheets, waiting for his words of hatred.

"Hikari… " he whispered, his voice, it was rather gentle, not the harsh and rough. He sounded differently, like he was pleading for my attention. His hand lifted my chin until our eyes met.

His eyes, they seem rather soft; neither sinister or fire glowed in rage inside those pupils. I gazed at his face, is he trying to play a trick on me? Wait, he's not that good of an actor. Maybe Bakura's become… gentler, but all in one night? Is that possible for an old spirit? He's always been mean, selfish, and well… crazy.

"I've always loved you…. but," he whispered sadly. Did he just say he loved me? BAKURA said he loved me? It's my insane yami here, the one who's been torturing me the past couple years, the one who's been abusing me, and… the one I love.

"But, we can't be lovers, I mean, I'm the yami, you're the hikari, and we're not supposed to be together!" He shouted as he turned away. My eyes began to flood in tears, "Why not?" I sniffed, "There aren't any rules about something like that." I crawled on his lap and leaned in to his face. "I love you Bakura, can't you leave it that?" I whimpered.

The tomb robber's face turned serious, "Look Ryou, I'm supposed to be your protector! All I've been doing to do is torture and rape you, I made you suffer and scared you half to death." He said in a cold tune.

I looked at his expression, "That really doesn't matter to me," I whispered. My Yami stood up, sweat clung to the tanned naked flesh. "You don't get it do you Ryou!? I just, can't love you or anyone! It's a damn illusion! Argh, I don't want to believe-!" He yelled as his hands gripped tightly in his hair.

The tomb robber walked over the ring sitting on the tabletop, "It's a damn weakness! It's a damn weakness!" He yelled as he disappeared into the ring, My legs forced me up and ran toward him. "Wait Bakura!" I pleaded as tears sparkled away from my face. The ring glowed brightly.

I grabbed the ring, "Bakura!" I cried out, as I fell on my knees. Sniffling and pressed the ring to my chest. "Bakura…" I repeated in a sad lifeless tone. "Come back…" I sat on the dirty rug, crying, thinking, what the hell happened?

Something must be bothering my yami, he thinks love is a weakness, and he's not supposed to fall in love with his own light. I wish I can talk to Bakura, help him with his problems, but I'll only be a burden for him.

I pushed myself up onto the bed, ignoring the dirtiness. I curled up with the ring in my arms. My body feels weak; I can't do very much in this shape. But if I don't go to school, people would suspect this, especially Yugi. His Yami can send Bakura to the shadow realm.

I peered over to the time…. I only have about half an hour till school starts. My mind's telling me to go, but my body's too weak to respond. But too much happened today, I can't go to school in this condition and the teachers would notice how sick I acted, and send me to the nurse.

Hell with it, I can't go even if I tried, I just can't go today. Suddenly I heard some voices… coming from outside my house. "Ryou! Are you there?" Tristain's voice echoed. "Hey! Ryou! Wake up!" shouted Joey.

"Guys, maybe Ryou's not home," said Yugi, "Let's try after school." I stood up in bed, hearing the shouts from my friends. I didn't bother to respond, plus my throat was still sore from the lack of water. I curled back into the bed, sleeping the day away while holding the ring in my arms. Bakura…

- I wonder what the hell am I doing? Please tell me what you think! I need some ideas, real bad! I don't know if this is any good either. (maybe b/c I'm typing this chapter to 2:15 am in the morning) And too much rain and too much hot weather's driving me crazy! *runs around shooting everything with her shotgun* um… read and review?