Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Insane Wars: The Truce at Bakura ❯ Baby Phat ( Prologue )

Disclaimer: None of this is mine. If you are a die hard fan, hate Shonen-ai, or have no sense of humor, this is not for you. If you are politically corrupt, go away.

I had to redo this part because it was too much.

PROLOGUE

Planet Isis was a perfectly peaceful planet (Say that five times fast!). It was so peaceful, in fact that anyone could get through its defenses.

On planet Isis, the perfect King and the perfect Queen had a perfect son named Ryou. Little Ryou was born with a perfect head of white silky hair and sparkling green eyes. As soon as the announcement of the little one was born, the whole planet erupted into celebration.

Of course, that meant EVERYONE was celebrating. There was no guard on duty, no screeners at the space ports and no fast food restaurants opened.

Now the planet was ripe for infiltration from the Garnon Empire to the lowly space pirates. One of particular fame was that of the grand space Pirate Montoya Ryoo! He was married…for a year before he killed his wife, but he didn't kill her until she gave birth to their son! That was two years ago! Now the little one was two years old and talking a blue streak. Sometimes his father wished little Bakura would shut the hell up!

Walking toward the palace, Montoya wished to just steal enough to survive comfortably on for a little while. He had taught his little one how to steal without getting caught. Bakura learned fast! In fact, one time the little thief stole his wallet and spent the money on booze and hookers. How a two year old got away with that was beyond him! Of course Bakura did nothing with the hookers. He just liked being fussed over how cute he looked!

Getting into the palace was not a problem. The two just strolled in like they were part of the guest list. No one even stopped them to ask for identification. They even noticed members of other empires sneaking in.

`Someone could really take this place with no problem.' Montoya thought to himself as Bakura broke the silence.

"I'm hungry!" The little one exclaimed.

"So am I! Do hear me complaining?!" His father demanded.

"IT'S YOUR JOB TO FEED AND CLOTH ME SO DON'T SNAP AT ME!!" The little one shouted as his father's eyes almost bulged out of his head.

"Bakura! What has gotten into you?" Montoya demanded.

"Listen you! I was in another story and now I have to wait until the writer decides to turn me into an eighteen year old so I can be with Ryou!"

"Uh…" The man started.

"I was an adult in the last story and now look at me…" Bakura started as his father just stared. "Hey! What did you expect?"

It was then that man fell over unconscious. Bakura blinked, and blinked and then a devious grin spread over his face. Walking up to the unconscious man, the toddler kicked him in the side.

"Wake up! Hey! Wake up! Little kid here!" Bakura's face darkened. "I'M FREE!! I'M FREE!!!" He skipped down the corridor.

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Of course the celebration went on while Bakura hid his father's body in a dumpster somewhere.

Inside the palace, the King and his Perfect Blond Queen presented their perfect Prince Ryou. His big green eyes sparkled as his smile made everyone go…

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWW!!"

Placed in his crib, Baby Ryou began to play with all his presents. Of course, for a baby he was pretty active. He kept spinning the bunny mobile above him and giggling at the same time. It kept him amused as the celebration continued. It was then that Bakura struck.

The toddler snuck up to the crib silently and carefully hoping not to call attention to himself. Of course, someone just had to grab him. Looking up at the said person in horror, Bakura tried to get free.

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH HE'S SO CUUUUUUUUUUTE!!!!" A big lady with short brown hair began to pinch and squeeze him between her massive cleavage.

Under normal circumstances, Bakura would have been happy, but in this case, he was being suffocated! Squirming to get free, the little demon struggled against her death grip hoping to get free so he could see his little bunny one last time before the next part of the story.

"LET ME GO!!!" The toddler screamed as the lady dropped him in shock. "For the love of Ra! Are you trying to kill me with those massive arms of yours?! Geeze!" He walked away.

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Baby Ryou kept giggling as he slapped the mobile around. This was so much fun. He had forgotten what it was like to be a baby. It was then that his moment of pure innocent joy was shattered when a certain toddler crawled into the crib.

Sitting up (Uh huh…he was just born…yeah ok) Ryou stared at the intruder and blinked. His long white hair hung down his back just like the toddler before him. The look a like had jagged white hair while his was a softer jagged look. A smile almost threatened to split his face when he recognized the toddler.

"Bakuwa!!!!!!!!!!!" Ryou glomped him. "I miss you." He giggled as Bakura hugged him back.

"I missed you too, bunny. We'll be together soon when the plot sickens…I mean thickens." Bakura reassured the baby.

"I wanna go to med scwool! Why am I a baby?" Ryou threatened to cry.

"Because we are in a new story and you are on a perfect planet with a perfect mother and a perfect father. You are supposed to be the perfect prince." Bakura tallied off, remembering the script.

"OOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Pewfect? Cool! Are you going to come back and kidnap me?" Ryou was hopeful.

"When you're legal." Bakura reassured the albino as he pat him on the head.

"Is Mawik going to be there?" Ryou shuddered.

"He's on Prozac and Ritalin. We have him tamed…heh." Bakura grinned deviously. "He's with Malik anyway. Yami and Yuugi are there too. Seto and Jou are somewhere else. I don't know what part they will play."

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" The Queen screamed as she noticed Bakura in the crib with Ryou. "There's a pirate in the crib with my son!"

"Well, this is where we part ways! Bye bye!" He jumped out and then disappeared.

Ryou's bottom lip trembled, his big doe like eyes began to water and at that moment, he let out one big wail!

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" he screamed.

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Running to his space pirate ship, Bakura hot wired the ship since he forgot to grab the keys from his father. He then disappeared never to be seen again.

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Landing on planet Uros a few hours later, Bakura landed the ship right on top of someone's car. He didn't care. He just let the platform drop as he strutted right out. Malik, Marik, Yuugi and Yami ran to him. All four toddlers looked up at Bakura in awe.

"Where's your daddy?" Malik asked.

"I threw him in a dumpster somewhere on planet Isis!" Bakura watched the others shudder. "Hey! What was I to do! He was annoying! Anyway, I found Ryou! He's there!"

"What does that mean to us?" Yami demanded.

"I want some ice cweam!" Yuugi complained.

"Later!" Yami growled. "What do you want us to do about it, Bakura!"

"I want ice cweam!" Yuugi whined as he tugged on Yami's coat.

"I said later!" Yami turned to face his other half.

"I WANT ICE CWEAM NOW!!!!" Yuugi shouted at the top of his lungs as the other four covered their ears.

"Can we just get the brat ice cream and then move on with our plans!" Bakura growled at Yami. "Really Yami! I thought you knew how to take care of him!"

"I got the book on how to take care of babies." Yami started.

"I AM NOT A BABY!!!! WAAAAAAAAAHHH!!" Yuugi screamed.

"And it doesn't work on him!" Yami growled in anger.

"That isn't my problem, pal!" Bakura ranted.

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After finding and robbing a local Dairy Queen…

"Here is the plan." Bakura started as Yuugi happily ate his ice cream. "When we get older, like around eighteen, we take over planet Isis and name it after me!"

"Why you! Can't we name it after me?" Marik demanded.

"Because it's my idea!" Bakura growled. "I get to plan this, I am the leader; therefore, it's my planet you lackey!" He made Marik cringe back. "After we take over Isis, I will get my uncle lawyer, Scheister, to draw up the legal papers to take over the planet and then rename it. I then get to have prince Ryou!" He had hearts in his eyes.

"Prince Ryou? Wait a second! When he gets older, I have a score to settle with him!" Malik growled remembering the last story.

"YOU WILL NOT TOUCH HIM!!!!" Bakura shouted as everyone cringed in fear. "Now, in the meantime, we will make a name for ourselves! We will conquer and party! Mostly party! We will be the universe's most feared toddlers! We will be Bakura's Bandits!" He proudly exclaimed as Marik, Malik and Yami sweat dropped.

"I like this ice cweam." Yuugi's face was covered in chocolate. "Can we own a Daiwy Queen?"

TBC…