Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Just a Doll ❯ Just a Doll ( One-Shot )

JG-chan: Okay, this idea was really totally INCREDIBLY random. I had no idea why I thought of it but it popped into my head as I was listening to one of *cringe* Avril Lavinge's songs. Personally I hate the bitch but I don't mind this song and it reminded me of Shizuka for some ODD reason XD Anyway, read and review if you think it's worth it. Don't go easy on me just because I suck at angst, send in your flames and criticism!!! :D

Disclaimer: I own nada!

Warning(s): Just swearing and dark thoughts. Nothing too violent ^_^'
Theme song: "Nobody's Home" - Avril Lavigne

Just a Doll

Ribbons of auburn curled around the girl's face, whipping at the soft peach skin, stinging her like tiny electric shocks. She felt lost in this world… losing her mind, her faith… everything she ever believed in. She wasn't so naïve anymore, now being almost seventeen. She had relied on only herself ever since the whole duel monsters craze had died almost three years ago, figuring that her twenty-year-old brother was now getting on with his own life, not worrying nearly so much as he used to over his baby sister.

Traumatizing as it was, the Battle City Tournament and everything that went with it had nonetheless opened her eyes to show her how ruthless reality could be. Until then, she had never fought her own battles. Her controlling bitch of a mother had made every decision for her during her life, including taking custody of her as a child. Being ripped apart from the one thing she cherished most - her brother - Jounouchi Katsuya, had torn her up, scarred her.

I couldn't tell you why she felt that way…

Jou had been there for her. The one person that she ever felt loved by, was him. Even he was gone now, excelling in his life of dueling. `Some things never die', she guessed. Kaiba Seto still had his corporation, succeeding in overruling any other dueling company in the world by a long shot. Of course that only swelled his arrogant head even more knowing that he was the richest youth known to man with the biggest leading multi-national company the world had ever seen. The thought sickened Shizuka. How she loathed that man. She knew him; knew what he wanted. He didn't want fans… he wanted to be feared, feared by all. He wanted the world to bow down to him. He manipulated the people in his life like puppets on strings. Shizuka wouldn't have been surprised if he even treated Mokuba that way, too. That boy was a good kid, she thought. He had potential. Wasn't an asshole like his elder brother. Had his head screwed on the right way.

She felt it everyday.

Then there was Otogi Ryuuji, creator of Dungeon Dice and Dragons, or D.D.D. in shorter terms. What had become of him now? The last thing he had ever done to her was give her his phone number. How trivial. He wasn't much higher up on the scale than Kaiba, in her opinion. He had always been a sexy, stuck-up son of a bitch that knew how to charm the pants off of anyone. Of all people, Shizuka should know. At least that idiot Honda Hiroto was nice to her. Otogi was only nice because he wanted one thing, and knew he could get it. Shame on him. Honda had told her later that Otogi thought she was a brainless moron with the most fruitless dueling skills he had ever seen. She was skeptical at first, until she found some truth in it from other sources. How does that old saying go again? Oh yeah. The truth hurts.

And I couldn't help her,

The pit of her stomach clenched painfully in thinking of these people. Why was she even thinking about them? Half the people she had met during those few years were offensive to her in some way or another. Unworthy. Not worth remembering. She just wished more than ever that she hadn't been the baby of the group. The innocent, idealist girl that served no purpose other than getting in the way. It hurt still to think about it. She had made so many mistakes and caused the group many unwanted problems. That's how she felt now. Unwanted.

I just watched her make the same mistakes again…

One person she did miss, though, was Mai Kujaku. The blonde bombshell had almost been like a big sister; a mother, even, to Shizuka through all those terrifying, anxious moments. She was so brave, so bright, so repulsively conceited yet so courageous with an attitude that screamed no mercy. She was everything Shizuka was not. Shizuka guessed that's why she idolized her so much. Now that she was gone, she felt hollow. Why was everyone she cared for leaving her?

What's wrong, what's wrong now?

Come to think of it, the only people still residing in Domino were Yuugi, Ryou, Anzu and that crazy clan of Egyptian weirdoes. The woman, Isis - or whatever her name was -still worked at the Domino Museum; Malik had started at Domino High not long after the tournament had finished and Rishid well… nobody was really too sure. Probably just got a job or something insignificant. He might have even gone back to Egypt. Yuugi had taken over the Kame Game Shop after his grandfather passed away about six months ago. Ryou and Yami Bakura were still around, although nobody had heard from either of them for a while. Excuses let down the line of communication as people had drifted apart. No time. Can't be bothered. Better things to do. Conflicts. Fights. Problems.

Too many, too many problems.

Somebody had once told Shizuka that she needed to find herself, whatever the hell that meant. She belonged here, in Japan, being a student in her final year of high school. She was content. Not happy - unstable, perhaps - but content. She had her friends, she got straight A's on her tests and reports, and her ballet exam was coming up, which she knew she would ace. She sighed inwardly at her thoughts of this pathetic, superficial life she led. Everything seemed so perfect, yet it was lacking something. Maybe she really did need to find herself.

Don't know where she belongs… where she belongs.

Shizuka felt so juvenile, still hurting over what happened so long ago. She should just let it go… but something like that didn't just happen to anyone. It was hard to believe that the fate of the world was at stake due to a game. It was more like a curse that desperately needed to be broken. Everyone had been put there for a reason, to witness what it was like when the human race as it was known to be, could have possibly come to an end. Yuugi was there to test his faith, much like the others. Kaiba was there to test his power. Shizuka was just there to get a kick in the ass and a slap in the face from veracity. She hated being trapped on that blimp and on that tower, not being able to handle the anguish. She had gotten herself into this mess in wanting need to see her brother. If only she had known… she would have avoided it at all costs.

She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside…

Then again, had it not been for her brother she would probably be blind by now. He had been through hell and back for her, and would have gone to any lengths to be with her and protect her. He nearly died in trying to save Mai, too. Shizuka figured he must have liked her more than he let on; loved her, even. They never really showed much affection but everyone could see that there was a bit more of a connection than just friendship. Shizuka even felt pushed aside in Jou's life when she had first met Mai… but was too innocent to feel jealous over it. But now, she knew better.

Open your eyes and look outside, find the reasons why…
You've been rejected… and now you can't find what you left behind.

Shizuka sighed and continued walking down the snow-covered path of central Domino. Amidst her mental monologue, she was walking back from her friend Asako's house. Asako was Miho Nosaka's younger sister, and they looked almost identical. Asako even wore her hair the same way as Miho. `They're both so pretty…' Shizuka thought to herself numbly. `Prettier and more elegant than I will ever be… Asako is bound to get a better grade on our ballet exam than me…' It was a fact. Shizuka couldn't feel more numb in her core than now. Everything to her seemed so fake… but she couldn't figure out why. Maybe it was because she wanted to be more than a pretty face.

Her feelings she hides,
Her dreams she can't find,
She's losing her mind,
She's fallen behind…

`That's all I am.' Shizuka thought. `A shell. A robot. Why do I feel so empty? Why can't I feel anymore? Is this reality's way of poisoning me? Why is it so impossible to… just be myself?'

She can't find her place,
She's losing her faith,
She's fallen from grace,
She's all over the place…

The auburn-haired beauty finally reached her apartment, gracefully walking out of the elevator and into her respected home. It was cold inside. As cold and as numb as her fingers, even. She went straight to her bathroom to run a hot bath, spilling in some lavender and chamomile oils to relax her. Her clothes falling to the floor, she tied up her hair and stepped into the tub, letting the warm slippery liquid drown her senses. She looked up around her princess-like bathroom and all the things in it. Most of the rooms in her apartment were like this - white, pink and silver with the occasional dash of purple here and there. Pictures of ballerinas and ballet slippers littered the walls and diminutive porcelain ornaments covered the cabinets and tables. She had her mother and her scheming ways to thank for that.

With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside…

Deciding to hop out before her skin went wrinkly; Shizuka got out and dried herself. She went to her room and sat before her cabinet and looking glass and reached for her comb. Her dark hazel eyes had a wet sheen of tears over them and her skin was flushed from the steam, stinging her cheeks with roses making her look even lovelier. She began to comb her lustrous long ginger locks, and began to weep as she did so. `This is my life.' Shizuka decided. `This is me. I can't escape it. I'm living the life of Barbie - with everything and nothing all in one. I might as well get used to the fact that… I'm just a doll.'

She's lost inside, lost inside;
She's lost inside, lost inside…

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JG-chan: Also, I forgot to mention, if you'd like me to continue this then put it in your review or email me, I check them both (almost) daily. Hope you liked it =^-^=