Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Kill Jounouchi (Paradoy of Kill Bill) ❯ Two ( Chapter 1 )

Disclaimer: I own nothing… WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!! *Runs off crying*

Title: Kill Jounouchi Vol. 1 (Parody of Kill Bill)

Rating: R

Pairings: Very slight Jou/Mai

Warnings: Character death, OOCness, blood, gore, black humor, weapons, psycho people

Summary: Mai, an assassin, get put into a four year coma by her boss while she's pregnant. When she wakes up and her baby is gone, the only thing on her mind is revenge.

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Pyro: Ok! This is the list of who will be playing what role. If you've never seen Kill Bill, don't worry. While I do recommend seeing the movie, you'll still be able to follow along fine. These rolls are only for the first movie. If I missed anyone, please let me know!

Beatrice Kiddo/Black Mamba/The Bride: Kajuka Mai

Bill: Jounouchi Katsuya

O-Ren Ishii/Cottonmouth: Ishtar Isis

Vernita Green/Copperhead: Jounouchi Shizuka

Elle Driver/California Mountain Snake: Mazaki Anzu

Budd: Honda Hiroto

Gogo: Yami Malik (who shall be known as Marik for easy reference)

Johnny Mo: Rishid

Hattori Honzo: Kaiba Seto

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"blah" is speech

--blah-- is Mai Narration

--Blah-- is Voice over of another person

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She was panting. Her breath was short. She was lying on the ground with blood all over her face and body. She heard the man approaching.

"Do you find me sadistic?" the man asked.

She tried to answer, but she couldn't.

He pulled out a handkerchief, knelt down beside her and began wiping her face as he said, "You know, I'll bet I could fry and egg on your head right now. If I wanted to.

"You know, kiddo, I'd like to believe you're aware enough, even now, to know that there's nothing sadistic about me actions."

She continued to pant with anger and fear as he wiped her face.

"Well, maybe towards those other jokers. But not you." He traced a finger along her cheek, and let it rest there for a minute before standing up. "No, kiddo. At this moment…"

He pulled out a gun and began loading it. "This is me at my most… masochistic."

She turned her head to look directly at him, anger and fear on her face. Through clenched teeth she said:

"Jou, it's your baby-"

BANG. He had shot. It had gone right into her head.

~*~*~*~*~*

Pasadena, California

A yellow pickup truck with red seats pulled up to a green house with lots of children's toys in the front yard. The driver, a blonde haired female adult, got out of the truck, walked up the lawn and rang the doorbell.

From inside, a voice yelled, "Coming! Sarah I cannot believe you are early." A reddish-brown haired female adult opened the door, and froze.

In the blonde's mind's eye, she could see herself being punched and falling to the floor in a wedding gown. Above her the red head stared down smugly.

In present time, the blonde threw a punch at the other's face. It connected. Next the blonde threw a front kick, which the red head blocked with her hands. Another punch was thrown by the blonde. The red head then grabbed the stranger and threw her into a large picture frame which broke upon impact. The stranger fell to the ground and rolled over onto her back in time to stop and oncoming ax kick {1} of the red head. The blonde kicked the other in the crotch and then the head. She grunted in pain as she flew backwards over the couch and onto the glass inlaid coffee table which also shattered.

Seeing her chance, the blonde vaulted over the couch, only to be hit on the shin hard with one of the wooden table legs. She fell down on her knee in pain, crying out. She ducked the attack the red head tried on her, but fell to the ground while the other got up and prepared to smash the intruder's face with the table leg. But the blonde not only grabbed the table leg and stopped it, but also landed a kick in the stomach on the house owner, and flipped her over and onto her back.

The red head rolled over fast, but the stranger grabbed her in a choke hold. The other desperately tried to get out of it, pulling and hitting the arm, but the other refused to let go, panting with effort. They fell to the floor, and the red head inched her way over to the fireplace. She grabbed a fore poker and hit the other on the head with it. The blonde cried out in pain and released her hold. The house owner tried hitting the stranger with the poker, but was thrown back and crashed into a display shelf and caused the decoration plates to break. The blonde lunged but missed, falling to the floor and the other pulled the display shelf on top of her.

The blonde climbed through the broken shelf, gasping in pain as the broken ceramic cut into her. She got up and ran to the kitchen where she was greeted by the house owner with a butcher knife.

The owner took a swing for the other's head, which she dodged.

"What you gonna do now, huh?" the red head yelled. He made a downwards swing while saying, "What you got?"

The stranger turned, grabbed a frying pan and blocked the next attack.

"I got your ass!" the red head yelled. "Remember that?" She made a swing for the other, but was blocked by the frying pan. She went lower, but was again blocked. She threw another upper attack, but kept being blocked with the frying pan. More throws were thrown, only to be blocked again. Finally, one attack knocked the frying pan away.

The red head made a slash motion towards the head of the other, but it was stopped. Then she threw a side kick at the stranger. It connected and the stranger was thrown onto a table. The red head lunged for her. The blonde rolled to the floor, while the other fell onto the table. The blonde then rolled under the table and, drawing a dagger which she had in a sheath around her thigh, stabbed it through the table. It missed the other woman's face by inches.

Then the stranger kicked the table to the side, and it was the other woman went flying towards the wall. The red head got up quickly, and the blonde vaulted over the table, facing her opponent with fury in her eyes.

The house owner had her knife pointed in front of her and she began backing up as the other moved forwards.

"Okay, Come one, bitch," she said while her hand made a "come here" motion. The other flipped her dagger to be held downwards. The red head's hand was now in a fist be the side of her head,

"Come one," she said while still backing up. "Bring it on." They stopped moving, and were now in front of a window. She made a job motion, and the other made to block, although it was just a teaser. The red head woman turned her knife left and right.

Then, a school bus pulled up, right in front of the house.

The red head's eyes shifted to the bus, then back to the blonde. A little girl got off the bus and began walking towards the house.

The house owner looked at the stranger with a pleading look. The blonde got the massage. As soon as they heard the door open, both turned to face it and hid their weapons behind their backs.

"Mommy, I'm home," said the little girl as she walked into the house.

"Hey, baby. How was school?"

The little girl stared at her mother, the stranger and the room.

"Mommy, what happened to you and the T.V. room?" she asked.

"Oh. That good-for-nothing dog of yours got his little ass in the living room and acted a damn fool. That's what happened, baby."

"Barney did this?" the little girl asked as she began walking towards her mother.

"Baby, now, you can't come in here. There's broken glass everywhere and you could cut yourself," she made a circular motion with her hand to get the point across.

The little girl turned to look and the blonde.

The mother looked to the stranger. "This is and old friend of mommy's I ain't seen in a long time."

"Hi honey," the blonde said. "I'm Mai. What's you name?"

The little girl remained silent.

"Her name is Rebecca," the mother said.

"Rebecca. Such a pretty name for such a pretty girl. How old are you, Rebecca?" Mai asked.

Rebecca remained silent.

"Rebecca, Mai asked you a question," the red head asked.

"I'm 4," said Rebecca.

"4 years old, eh?" Mai said. "You know, I had a little girl once. She'd be about 4 now."

The red head walked over and knelt down by her daughter. "Now, baby, me and mommy's friend got some grown-up talk to talk about. So you can go in your room now. And I want you leave us alone `till I tell you to come out. Okay?"

Rebecca looked at Mai, not paying attention to her mother.

"Rebecca!" The mother snapped her fingers to get her daughter's attention. Then she pointed a finger at the stairs. "In your room. Now."

Rebecca took one last look at Mai and left.

The red head stood up. Mai moved her hand from behind her back, and the mother let hers fall to the side. Then she turned to face Mai.

"You want some coffee?" she asked.

"Yeah. Sure." Mai sheathed her dagger and the red head closed the front door partway. Mai closed it all the way for her before following her into the kitchen.

--This Pasadena homemaker's name is Jeanne Bell. Her husband is Dr. Lawrence Bell. But back when we were acquainted four years ago, her name was Jounouchi Shizuka. Her code name was Copperhead. Mine, Black Mamba.-

"Do you have a towel?" Mai asked.

Shizuka walked over to the sink. "Yeah,: she said before handing Mai a towel.

"Thanks," Mai said before she began wiping the blood off her neck and chest.

"You still take cream and sugar?" Shizuka asked, going over to the coffee maker.

"Yeah."

"So I suppose it's a little late for an apology," Shizuka stated.

"You suppose correctly," the blonde replied, wiping the blood off her arms.

Shizuka dropped whatever she was doing and walked over to Mai. "Look, bitch, I need to know of you're gonna start more shit around my baby girl."

"You can relax for now." Mai began tying the towel around her arm. "I'm not gonna murder you in front of your child, okay?"

Shizuka took another towel and dabbed at her lips. "That's being more rational than Jounouchi led me to believe you were capable of." (In this, Shizuka and Jounouchi aren't siblings.)

"It's mercy, compassion, and forgiveness I lack. Not rationality," Mai said. Shizuka set a cup of coffee down in front of her.

"Look," she said. "I know I fucked you over. I fucked you over bad. I wish to God I hadn't but I did. You have every right to want to get even."

"No. No. To get even, even Stephen? I would have to kill you, go up to Rebecca's room, kill her, then wait for your husband, the good doctor Bell to come home and kill him. That would be even, Shizuka. That'd be about square." Mai made a square with her finger to demonstrate.

"Look, if I could back in a machine, I would. But I can't. All I can tell you is I'm a different person now," Shizuka said.

"Oh, great. I don't care," Mai replied.

"Be that as it may, I know I don't deserve your mercy or your forgiveness." Shizuka walked over to the bulletin board and ripped off a picture. "However, I beseech you for both on behalf of my daughter." She all but shoved the picture into Mai's face.

"Bitch. You can stop right there."

Shizuka lowered the picture.

"Just because I have no wish to murder you before the eyes of your daughter does not mean that parading her around in front of me is gonna inspire sympathy. You and I have unfinished business. And not a goddamn fucking thing you've done in the subsequent four years, including getting knocked up, is gonna change that."

"So when do we do this?" Shizuka asked.

"It all depends. When do you wanna die? Tomorrow? The day after tomorrow?"

"How about tonight, bitch?"

"Splendid. Where?" Mai asked with a smile.

"There's a baseball diamond where I coach your little league about a mile from here," Shizuka said. "We meet there around 2:30 in the morning, dressed all in black, you hair in a black stocking. And we have us a knife fight. We won't be bothered." Shizuka held up a finger. "Now, I have to fix Rebecca's cereal." She walked over to the cabinet and pulled out cereal and a bowl.

"Jounouchi always said you were one of the best ladies he ever saw with an edged weapon," Mai commented.

"Fuck you, bitch," Shizuka said, drawing it out. "I know he didn't qualify that shit, so you can kiss my mother fucking ass, Black Mamba." Shizuka went over to the fridge and pulled out the milk. "Black Mamba. I should have been mother fucking Black Mamba."

"Weapon of choice?" Mai asked. "I f you wanna stick with your butcher knife, that's fine."

Shizuka laughed and turned her head to look at Sakura. "Very funny, bitch." Her face grew serious and she turned her whole body to face Mai with the cereal box pointed at her. "Very funny!"

There was a gun shot and the bullet missed Mai by inches. The blonde dropped her coffee cup and kicked it at Shizuka so that she had to dodge to the right. Then Mai grabbed her dagger and flung it at Shizuka. It landed square in her chest. She fell back against the cabinets, and slid to the floor.

Mai slowly began to walk over to her, her feet crunching over the cereal on the floor. Shizuka gave one last gasp, and died, slumping over, eyes still open. Mai knelt down and pulled her dagger out of Shizuka's chest. She stood up and her head snapped behind her. There stood Rebecca, looking at her.

Mai grabbed another towel from the counter and began cleaning her dagger with it while saying, "It was not my intention to do this in front of you. For that, I'm sorry. But you can take my word for it. Your mother had it coming." Mai sheathed her dagger and then turned to face Rebecca. "When you grow up, if you still feel raw about it… I'll be waiting." And with that she left.

--For those regarded as warriors.-

Mai walked out towards her truck.

--When engaged in combat… the vanquishing of thine enemy can be the warrior's only concern.-

Mai climbed into her car.

--Suppress all human emotions and compassions…--

Mai grabbed a notebook.

--And kill whoever stands in thy way, even if it be Lord God, or Buddha himself.-

Mai opened to a page that read Death List Five. The first name, Ishtar Isis with the words Cottonmouth under it, was already crossed off. Mai grabbed a marker and crossed off the second name, which was Jounouchi Shizuka with the words Copperhead under it.

--This truth lies at the heart of combat.-

Mai took one last glance at the house, before starting the truck and driving away.

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