Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Koware na Hato ❯ Wareru ( Chapter 3 )

Koware-Yasui Hato

by: Yumei

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A/N: I'm sorry for not updating for a while. The Internet connection here at my house has been down right after I luckily uploaded Chapter 2. Thank you all so much for everything. I think I'm starting to work the title into the story. o.o; shocked? ^_^ *bows* Thank you to everyone who reviewed and added me to favorites! I adore you all! ^^; Another thing… *sweatdrops* smart reviewers… @.@; *watches the plot jump out the window* -.-; kuso… XD oh well! ^^' Arigatou gozaimasu anyway…

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Chapter Three: Wareru

The food was untouched. Ryou stared at his plate for a long time before finally standing up without a single bit of his breakfast. He was tired and hardly felt like eating. All he really wanted was just to be alone for some time…to think. But then…he was so tired… Shaking himself awake the best he could, Ryou trudged to school, wincing every now and then from the pain on his face.

Though he usually enjoyed school, today, he dreaded going. Memories… He didn't want to be near that room; nowhere near it at all. He felt guilty that that man had died-murdered, to be exact-but in the deepest corners of his heart, he was glad. Was that terrible? He was actually glad that the filthy bastard who had touched him went to hell. No, he couldn't think like that. It couldn't have been his fault. Then again, didn't-didn't Karakage-sama kill that man…for him? Because that man was laying his hands on this body?

Muderer! They yelled at him. YOU killed him! It's your fault! It's always your fault!

He wanted to cry. Just to sit down and let his tears fall over. Of all things, his heart hurt the most. It wasn't the pain that shot up his body whenever he moved, or the stinging on his face that began to kill him. It was that fact that he knew. He knew he would never be loved. Not by the only person he loved more than anything else. It's not my fault…! I-I'm sorry…

So what was wrong with crying anymore? What was wrong with wanting to let go of your anguish? Was it too much to ask, just to take the pain away? Yes…it's too much to ask for, he answered himself. Pain, anger, anguish…these were the things that came with life. He would have to fight on. He had to remember that not too far away, there is someplace for him-someone-that will give him joy, hope, and love. He couldn't die too soon, but somehow he felt that his life was no longer in his hands. He was already too late…too late to save himself.

"Bakura-kun? Bakura-kun! Ryou! Please come back to earth!" the teacher snapped tiredly. He sighed, muttering under his breath, "Kids these days! They have absolutely no respect for tired old teachers."

Ryou looked up with half tear-filled eyes. A few of his classmates snickered at him. Wiping his eyes quietly, he offered a quiet, "sumimasen" and leaned over so no one could see the large bruise on his face. It stung and it felt like it was bleeding, but he bravely ignored it and set himself back to work.

It was quite apparent that obviously someone had seen the bruise on his face and questioned him, sounding rather concerned about him. Well, he seemed sincere at least.

"Ryou? What happened to your face?" Yugi peered at him carefully. Concern ran through his young features. "Does it have something to do with your father?"

Muto Yugi of course. He was kind and was always concerned for other people. Yugi even had a yami like he did. But did he ever know the pain of falling in love with someone who seemed to hate him? Well, he and his yami seemed to get along rather well. The former pharaoh was very kind to his young "aibou." Even though Ryou was rather grateful for the concern, he quietly wished it away. The last thing he needed was more people pitying him.

The snowy-haired boy flinched. "My father? It has nothing to do with him. He's never even around long enough to ever notice me anymore. I hardly ever see him."

"You live by yourself?" the smaller boy pushed. "Are you ok? I mean, it's tough being by yourself all the time, and-"

"I-I'm just fine. Thanks though…" Ryou took a step back before simply running away. Why did people bother talking to him? This bruise on his face…it's been there for over two weeks now and no one noticed it until now. Not that it mattered to him. He didn't want people pestering him all the time, asking why his face had bruises and cuts on it. Of course, no one could really look at his body…which was good… Flushing deeply, he ran the rest of the way home, ignoring the jolting pains in his body.

***

Quietly unlocking his door, Ryou stepped inside the quiet apartment and set his bag down on the couch. Loosening a few of the buttons nipping at his neck, he flopped down next to the bag on the couch. He gazed up at the ceiling in thought. It was…quiet. A dead silence, only the humming of the dim lights to listen to. Feeling a shift, Ryou looked over his shoulder to see a pair of brown eyes staring back at him in silent observation. "Ka-Karakage-sama…"

Bakura stiffened visibly. Damn that name. Damn Ryou for calling me that, damn Kawatori. Damn him for dying, killing himself…damn him…for leaving me alone. Damn history for repeating itself! Kawatori…yes, that was his name…I-I remembered… "Kawa…tori…"

"River bird," Ryou said quietly in response. He looked into his yami's eyes and traced the elegant kanji with his finger onto Karakage-sama's hand. "Kawa…" he breathed to his yami, "kawa like river, tori like bird. Kawatori… That's a pretty name. Is there someone you know with that name?"

Bakura stared at his hand blankly. Something felt odd about that touch. Ryou's fingers were so cold, so slim and smooth. They felt odd… "Yes. I…I knew someone…"

Ryou smiled faintly, pulling his hand back. "For someone with such a beautiful name must have been beautiful as well."

"Ryou," Bakura said suddenly, grabbing on to the boy's hand. "Ryou, look at me," he nearly commanded. Not this again. It can't happen again! "Let me see your eyes!"

Meekly, the boy obeyed, looking into his yami's eyes. He was confused and he felt terribly tired, but did as he was told. He blinked when his yami paled suddenly and dropped his hand. Looking concerned, he lifted his hand. "Karakage-sama?"

Swatting the boy's hand away, Bakura shook his head. "No, stop. You need to listen to me. Whatever the hell you're poisoning your mind with, you get those thoughts out of there now. You have no idea what you're doing to yourself!"

"I…Karakage-sama, I don't understand. What do you mean?" Ryou found himself grasping his yami's hand tightly, almost in fear. "I mean, I feel tired a lot…but that doesn't matter. My…my heart hurts the most."

Bakura stared at that face, that tearstained face as more tears spilled over. "Damnit," he muttered. "You… You have no idea… Just stop it. What will it take to make you into your old, stupidly giddy self again? Huh?!"

"I still don't understand what you mean, but…I can't control myself anymore. I feel like I'm going to be pushed over the edge of nothingness any second! I don't know what's wrong with me!" Ryou started crying, unable to control himself any longer. "I want to know…"

"You're dying…"

The next few moments were in utter silence, either one able to speak a single word. It was unbearable, but it was the truth. Ryou's spirit was ready to kill and bury itself in darkness. He couldn't stop it anymore…wasn't that the truth as well? Was there any other way to fix this?

"Ryou…" Bakura said at last, sounding almost upset, "your spirit is weak right now. You've said…you've said that you can no longer control it. It's like…like your soul is killing itself. The darker you make it in your mind, the faster you die. Even if you were to stop with the darkness, you really will die unless…unless we do something about it. I know a way, but it will probably be painful for you…and you might not trust me to do it."

Those words frightened him. Ryou stared at their hands, still wrapped around each other. He had never held anyone's hand before, let alone the one he loved the most. His icy hands almost felt a tinge of warmth, but it died as quickly as it had flickered in his heart. "I…what is it? What's the way?"

"Ryou…let me make love to you."

***

"It's been two long months… It really seemed like an eternity though. Why do I feel guilty for being alive, Karakage-sama? Doushite?" Tears began to well up in the boy's eyes. His fake smile made him almost seem as if he could heal his wounds again. But that smile wasn't real.

After the tragedy of the death of his father, the boy simply sat quietly, sometimes crying, sometimes thinking. He shifted underneath the large blanket he was wrapped him. He admitted that he and his father had their problems, and he could never forget what the man had done to him, but still…

Karakage looked out into the desert silently. He had no idea what that last word was, nor did he care. Kawatori spoke his foreign language often, whenever he was upset. He clenched his fists in anger. How could his love even ask such a thing? Why wouldn't he kill someone who had done such a thing to him? When he found out what happened, he could only feel the most powerful hatred and almost jealousy burning inside of him. Who DARED touch his Kawatori? Who would dare touch his beautiful dove? "I couldn't take it, ok? I had to kill him. He hurt you! He…he touched you! He raped you!"

"I know…and I know I haven't been the same since then, but…even though I yelled at him and screamed that he wasn't, he…he still truly is my father. My only relative. I know something happened to him that made him change into a hateful demon, but…he's still…my father. The one person that took care of me before and the one that loved me."

"I love you! Can't you see you're killing yourself like this?! When you act like this, you're not just killing yourself…you're killing me with you, Kawatori…"

He smiled wryly, almost seeming like his old, rebellious self. "That's funny… Hey, I'm glad you can say my name right for once. Not that I'm complaining at all. Karakage-sama, it wouldn't matter if I died. It wouldn't matter at all. Just another tear that falls from your face, another dream that floats just out of reach… No one would miss me anyway. You simply have to reach for another dream and grasp it with your heart. You know we'll meet again."

"You just don't get it! Didn't I say that I love you? Didn't I say that I would look after you? Didn't I always do everything you ask? You changed my life, and I'm not about to let you walk out on it now! Please… Let me help you. I'll just transfer some of my own spirit to you. Just…just don't die…please don't die!" Karakage grabbed onto his young lover, holding him close. Tears streamed down his eyes, he had never cried this much before. Not for all the physical pain in the world would he ever cry this much for. "Don't you dare…"

Kissing the older man's lips one last time, the boy slipped the man's dagger out of his pocket so quietly, Karakage never noticed at all. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'm sorry…I love you."

Shocked silence hung in the air. A single drive of a dagger into his abdomen… Blood…blood was everywhere. That crimson red that would never wash away. In the man's heart, the sun had fallen and the stars were no longer bright. His world had ended; he would never see the light again.

"No…you can't! YOU CAN'T DIE! KAWATORI!!" I'll never stop crying for you… Why did you do it? Why…?

***

Don't let it happen again... I could never let it happen again…

Ryou closed his eyes nervously as his yami left a spirit's gentle kiss on his lips. "Karakage-sama…it's impossible. I can't…"

"Yes you can. Just trust me. It's…it's a simple transfer, but I can't do it just like this. It needs to be done through intercourse. I…I promise I won't hurt you. Close your eyes and concentrate your energy. Try as hard as you possible can…I need half of your body. Just enough to keep me separate from you…just enough so I can touch you. Ryou…" Bakura looked into his tearful eyes. "You have to do this. Just…please."

"I can't," he cried, "I'm so afraid. I'm afraid to do it…I-I just can't do it."

"Ryou…if you don't do this, you're going to die! I'm not going to let that happen again, so just do it!" Bakura closed his eyes and turned away. This was like a second chance for him. He couldn't save Kawatori…but he had this chance to save Ryou, and he wouldn't let it pass. "Please, Ryou."

He wasn't exactly sure what finally have him the courage to do it. He didn't know if it was something deep within himself or was it his yami's last pleading words. Ryou was still frightened, but he would do it. He would. He wiped his teary eyes and concentrated as hard as he could.

Bakura closed his fists and felt fingernails digging into his palm. He looked over his shoulder to see Ryou panting, almost ready to cry again, but he had done it. Thanking the boy silently, he crawled over to his exhausted light and planted a firm kiss on his lips. Trust me, Ryou…

Ryou fought back more tears as his yami kissed him. All he ever wanted was just to be with Karakage-sama and now he was getting it…but why did it still feel as if Karakage-sama just didn't care? He squeezed his eyes shut as Bakura held his wrists together with one hand and gently pulled at his shirt with the other. His first thought was to kick and scream, but he turned his face and cried.

His yami licked away the boy's tears and kissed his lips again, sliding his tongue in gently. This would be more difficult than he expected… Ryou, you have to let me do this. I promised I wouldn't hurt you.

Karakage-sama… Ryou closed his eyes again, finally calming his alarmed body, melting into the warm kiss.

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A/N: o.o; does anyone else think that's a mean place to leave off at? ^_^ Gomen nasai, the chapter was getting long. The next chapter will be a lemon *IF* the reviews come in. -.- I'm kind of doubting my lemons here so… *sigh* TBC o.O; I guess…