Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Leave Sanity at the Door ❯ Anzu’s Session ( Chapter 4 )

AN: Sorry it took so long to get this out but you would not believe how busy I've been. I had a convention last week I had to get ready for so I had absolutely no free time. That and I'm like this close *holds fingers very close together* to getting another doujin done. It's the author notes that are taking me forever, why do they have to write a paragraph for only a few pages…I'm being a hypocrite aren't I? Anyway expect that out in the next couple days. Also for those still asking if you want to find the site the doujinshi search for profiles on ff.net for: scarlet_moolitght it'll be on her site. Anyway hope that helps and read my end notes ^_- Hope you enjoy!

Japanese:

Gomenne = sorry with female ending on it (meaning only girls use it)

Konnichi wa = hello

Sumimasen = sorry

Gomen = sorry (normal form)

Disclaimer: I no own Yugioh, though I wish I owned two certain white haired bishies! I'll just have to settle for plushies for now.

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"Leave Sanity At The Door"

Chapter 4: "Anzu's session"

She quietly entered the room and nodded to the blond woman who was sitting in a swivel black leather chair near the window glancing out. She cleared her throat to get the woman's attention and knew she had it even if the woman's gaze didn't shift from the window. "It's getting so warm out, it's the beginning of July, in another month is your birthday right," Mai said turning to look at her patient. Anzu nodded, wondering what she was going to do if she were still stuck here when her birthday came around and felt a pang in her chest. "Don't worry about it Anzu, I'm sure they'll let you at least have visitors on your birthday," she said with a reassuring smile. Anzu took her usual seat in the love seat looking thing and picked up the dry erase white board and marker Mai always left out for her before their sessions. Mai always tried to get her to talk but knew her limitations and left the board for her each time.

"So how have you been sleeping? Any more nightmares or restless sleep?" Anzu quickly jotted down something on the board in red pen.

=Nightmares sometimes but not often. Maybe once every few weeks. But I've been off sleeping medication for about a few weeks now.= She held it up for Mai to read before erasing it and writing something else.

=I've been sleeping but a lot of the time it's restless. But lately…= She wasn't sure if she should finish her sentence and Mai saw her hesitance but waited before the girl put up the board and noticed the missing end of the sentence. Mai mentally smirked. 'If this was any other place or time I'd try to play matchmaker with the two.' She almost grinned but held it in, but Anzu could tell she was pleased with something and wanted to be let in on it.

"I see you're not using the blue marker like you usually do." Anzu blushed at her comment. Ever since the sessions had started she always had a wide variety of markers for her to use but she always used blue, being as it was her favorite and for some reason a comfort and because of it they had gone through a couple dozen blues already in the last few months. "Red is the color of passion you know." Anzu's face immediately became a darker red then even the marker and she scrawled out sloppily 'Shut up!' "Gomenne, I don't mean to tease." Anzu nodded in acceptance as her face slowly faded to a normal color again.

"But I do have to ask, in all seriousness," she said her tone showing she was in no way kidding. "Are you becoming closer with him?" They both knew exactly who he was, everyone in the center had seen the scene at dinner yesterday and the news had spread like wildfire. Unfortunately it had gotten Anzu some unwanted attention and some boys had been bothering her earlier trying to get close to her. Luckily for her Ryou had come and gotten them to leave her alone. She sighed in disappointment remembering he still had that fake smile on his face and was still extremely polite. Not that being polite was bad but not if it wasn't sincere.

"Anzu," yelled Mai finally getting the girl's attention. "You went off in lala land, mind sharing?" Anzu nodded quickly relaying the information she was just thinking.

"So I'm not the only one noticing?" Anzu nodded. "It's funny, in your session we seem to only be focusing on him. While in his session he continues to try and focus on you." She noticed the girl's blush and tried not to push her. "Have you started remembering any more about that night?" Anzu visibly flinched but Mai took it in stride. What Anzu had was commonly referred to as psychological amnesia. Her traumatic experience had caused her brain to shut out that memory to save Anzu from the trauma. But because of that Anzu didn't know her attacker, she was left victimized and the fact that she didn't even know why made it worse. She had become mute at the same time. At first they thought it had something to do with her voice, something with her voice would trigger the memory. But now the only one who still fully believed that was Mai.

Doctors had tried for the first week to get her to talk, to get her to come close to them, and anything else they could think of. But they all gave up and Mai quickly took her into her care. Even after all of these months she had yet to get any closer to Anzu. Anzu trusted her as far as she could tell but she was still hesitant when it came to physical contact. But now after what happened yesterday with Ryou….Anzu was still silent as Mai looked over at the girl. "Nothing new at all? Try just slowly easing your mind back to that night. You got there around seven."

Anzu nodded her head as she imagined a clock across the street on a building switching to 7:07 PM. "You went in the back door." Anzu nodded her head as the memory got fuzzier as she opened the back door of a large building probably large enough for some kind of concert. "You went down the main hall to the third room on the right." Anzu nodded again as the vision got fuzzier as she went and she opened the door on the right and once again her mind was faced with a darkened figure with long hair. "You see a figure; can you tell me anything about them?"

She kept her eyes closed and scribbled =Tall, long hair= like she always did. She sighed in exasperation as the figure seemed just out of her reach. 'I wish someone would help me…I wish Ryou-kun.' She felt herself blush at the thought. 'Why would I ask him for help?'

'Help,' the word seemed to echo in her mind and something happened. The image in her head shifted. Her brows furrowed over her closed lids as the face became sharper. The figures eyes came into focus. Her own eyes shot open and Mai looked on as Anzu quickly scribbled something down. =Eyes, his eyes are two colors, gold and sea green!=

"Anzu?" Anzu felt her hand shake as she held the marker in her hand. 'What is going on? How did I remember that?' She looked down at the board on her lap as a small droplet of water hit and splashed on part of her words. 'Tears? Why am I…crying?' She lifted her hand to her face as another ran down her cheek taking the same fall the one before had. She held back the sob in her throat as those eyes seemed to burn into her soul. She felt an arm around her, for the first time in months someone was touching her, holding her…and it felt good. 'Someone help.' She cried into Mai's chest as the image faded and she felt a bit of her heart stir.

He sighed as he folded up the 47 cards in his deck in a white bandana and put the extra 14 cards on his night stand. He wasn't very good at the game but he enjoyed it. She had given him all of her extra cards yesterday and he had played with all of them but there were some extra cards in there that did absolutely nothing. Mostly magic or ritual summon cards for cards he didn't have. So he had went through and taken out any cards he couldn't use. 'If I could get a hold of Bakura I could probably have a better deck.' He knew for a fact his brother was very into the game and probably had some good cards he could use. 'How typical,' he thought almost disgusted. 'Anytime I need any help I always think of him.' Despite how the word was used with loathing he couldn't help the pain that clutched at his heart. 'No matter how much I hate relying on him I miss him. I wonder what he's doing now.' He looked over at the clock on the wall to see '4:26' on the wall. 'Hmm I wonder if Anzu's out of session yet.' He shook the thought from his head. 'Why should I care when she gets out. I shouldn't be relying on her or anyone else!' He sighed and flopped back on his bed.

"What is she doing to me?" 'I wonder why she's even in here. What happened to make her loose her voice? I wish she would tell me.' He sat up quickly as he mentally cursed himself for thinking of her again. 'I'm just looking for someone to lean on now that my brother is gone, I have to stop that!' He sighed and looked at the ceiling as if it would have the answers to all of his questions. 'Or is it really like that? I'm so exhausted all the time, at least at home I didn't have to be cheery when I went and locked myself in my room. The only time I had to be like that was at school or the few times I went out with my brother. But here it's so tiring.'

He leaned back on his bed letting it hit the pillow with a soft thud. 'Maybe a nap before dinner will help.' He let his eyes slowly drift closed before a knock on the door sounded him to an intruder in his domain of silence. He looked up with a bright smile at the nurse who sat at the table dividing the two sections of the 'dorms.' "Konnichi wa," he said warmly getting a smile from her.

"Konnichi wa," she said returning the friendly reply. "Sumimasen for disturbing you but I have someone who asked if she could visit you?" 'There's only one person who would want to visit me. I should tell her no and just take my nap I'm too tired for this.' He looked over at the nurse still smiling as he held it in place. He closed his eyes as he internally fought over a polite way to turn her down when her face popped into his head again. He cursed in his head and quickly replied. "Sure, let her in please." 'Damnit why did I do that?! I'm so tired.'

He waited a minute trying to keep his annoyance to a minimum as she came in the door, and his attitude then did a complete 180. She had tear streaks down her face, her face was dry now but it was apparent she'd been crying quite hard recently. Which made her appearance all the more questionable as she had a huge smile plastered on he face. She waved her hand in a gesture of a greeting before walking into the room and stopping a few feet in front of the bed.

"Hello Anzu, did you just get out of your session?" She nodded again before pulling something out of her pocket. He looked at the deck in her hand. "Do you want to play a game?" She nodded affirmative again. She sat at the end of the bed at started shuffling as he took out his deck and did the same. He looked over at her and saw her trying to be happy but saw it may not hold for much longer. "Anzu is something wrong," he asked politely. She shook her head in the negative but stopped as a tear trickled down her cheek. She looked up a bit shocked as her hand went to her own face and wiped away the offending tear. But another soon followed in its place, and another. Ryou took on a shocked look as she started openly crying, her forgotten deck lying on his bed.

"A-anzu, gomen I didn't mean-" But his words couldn't console her shaking form. "Please tell me what's wrong, maybe I can help you," he said cheerily. 'I don't know what the hell to do to console a crying girl. I'm not good at these things.' She looked up at his smiling face and felt disgusted. He still had on that fake smile while she knew he was uncomfortable and wasn't sure what to do. She whipped out her pad of paper and pen and quickly wrote out =KNOCK IT OFF!=

"Knock what off? What's wrong Anzu?" He was getting genuinely worried now. The girl didn't seem all there at the moment. She scribbled something out for him again.

=Stop faking I know you don't know what to do and would rather not deal with it. So just stop, if you want me to leave just tell me!= He looked at her a bit shocked.

"I don't want you to leave," he said in all seriousness his voice growing more monotone, which was as close as he usually got to being angry. "Fine I don't know what to do but that doesn't mean I don't want to help you."

=You can't help me! I can't even help myself!=

"Please, what's that supposed to mean," his voice letting out a bit of frustration as his face gave away no signs of how he was really feeling. She sat there for a minute her note pad in front of her and her pen hanging limply in her right hand. 'Do I dare tell him what happened to me? Do I dare trust someone with my wellbeing again?' She looked up at him trying to read him as his outward appearance wouldn't tell her and anyone else of how he really felt.

=I can't even protect myself. I've avoided and stayed away from everyone because I can't protect myself, I couldn't before and I can't now. How can someone who is afraid to let others know what he feels or even wants help me?= Her questioning had taken him aback as she sat there tears still streaming down her face, her eyes red and puffy as she sniffled almost silently. She looked like the weight of the world had just been dropped on her shoulders and she hadn't a friend in the world to help her.

'Who cares how I really feel? Why does anyone need to know?! And why me? Why does she always try to get close to me? And most of all…why do I want her to get close to me? I mean…I want…to see her happy. I want the both of us to get out of here. I want to see my brother again. I want to see her happy. I want…' "I want to protect you." Her head shot up as his small voice seemed to hold so much desperation in it. She looked up and for that moment in time, even if it was only then, she saw his real face and she saw his need…

Her face flushed at that look and she felt her heart fluttering in her rib cage as his brown eyes which were once dull were now so vibrant and tender. Is white hair framing and shading his face giving him a mysterious look. She saw the real him that had been hidden for so long. But at the astounded look on her face he quickly noticed what he was doing and reverted back to his 'normal' face. But even when he tried to hide it, his eyes…his eyes spoke volumes.

She let a small smile creep over her face before bringing the pen up. =I…I would like that.= She saw as he slowly lifted his hand and made no move to stop him, only watching in astonishment as he reached over and she felt her face flush as he took her own hand in his and brought it to his lips before he looked up once again and smiled at her. Not the fake smile she had seen so many times before or that he showed any one else. But a real smile, a smile just for her.

AN: I have a special treat for the first person to correctly guess who that guy in Anuz's vision is. I'm scanning the rest of the raw Bakura/Anzu doujin I have and I'll let you pick the next one you want me to translate. Also do you think I'm moving too fast in this? I wasn't sure; I like the pace but tell me what you think? Anyway back to translating, damn AN! LOL, hope you enjoyed!