Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Leave Sanity at the Door ❯ Reconnecting ( Chapter 8 )

AN: Look I finally updated. Anyway I guess Friday/Saturdays are when I'm going to update since my week is full of classes and work. Sorry it took so long for this to get out but I've been really busy with school. Anyway I don't have much to say so I hope you enjoy this! Has a lot of stuff finally happening in it!

Japanese:

Ano - Umm

Gomen ne - Sorry

Disclaimer: I no own Yugioh, though I wish I owned two certain white haired bishies! I'll just have to settle for plushies for now.

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"Leave Sanity At The Door"

Chapter 8: "Reconnecting"

He quietly made his way into the dining area as breakfast was being served peaking this way and that but didn't see the familiar short brown hair of a certain someone anywhere. He went back down the halls venturing to the doctors office even thought after being in there two weeks and the incident yesterday he would rather avoid the area. But he wasn't doing this for himself. 'I'm doing this for her.' He went in and poked his head around and didn't see anybody. Not even the doctor… 'Should I try something like that again?' He shook his head dismissing the thought. 'I'm not going to stalk her and sneak into her room. I'm trying to get her to not hate me, and that definitely wouldn't help.' He made his way back to his room still not sure what he should do.

'Should I try and talk to her or leave her a note or something?' He shook his head. 'No this needs to be in person. So do I just sit around all day and wait and see if I find her? I just wish I knew what to do. I was a jerk and then went off and…made her cry…' He felt his heart lurch just trying to picture her face like that and felt a new surge of confidence hit him. 'I'm going to make things right! Even if I don't know how…' He got up and decided to go sit outside and try to clear his head. He hadn't been outside since the first day he came in. But then again it was summer and anywhere from 70 to 90 out there at this point so not many people went out there. But the solitude would probably do him good.

He made his way out the door and the way the humidity hit him made him choke on the air as he adjusted and made his way to some kind of shade. He sat near the wall with the bushes, as where the sun was right now would protect him from some hard. He sat there feeling like he was in a sauna trying to figure out what to do. 'Seriously once I find her what do I say? Even if I could get up the nerve to say sorry I don't think that's enough, is it? What if she won't even talk to me when I do find her? I mean after yesterday she might be pretty creeped out. What do I do?' He opened his eyes as he pulled himself from his concentrated trance and nearly jumped out of his skin as he saw a familiar someone sitting next to him quietly just about five feet away.

"A-Anzu?!" She tilted her head to look his way but had no emotion whatsoever on her face and he felt his heart drop. 'Does she hate me?' "Ano…nice weather huh?" She continued looking at him again for another moment with the same unemotional face before turning away to stare across the yard. 'Oh come on! Think of something to say!' "Anzu…I know it probably doesn't mean very much just saying it, but I can't think of any other way to do it, so I'll just come out and say it. I'm sorry Anzu. I'm sorry for everything, for being mean, and hurting myself, and sneaking into your room yesterday. I'm sorry," his voice filled with more emotion then he had shown in the whole last month. He had been looking at the ground when he had said it too afraid of the indifferent look she continued giving him or worse, at her being mad at him. He finally lifted his head up to look her in the face and felt his heart drop, she was crying! "Anzu! I'm so sorry I didn't mean to make you-"

He didn't have time to react before her lips were pressed firmly against his own. For a couple of seconds he just kind of sat there too shocked to think anything before his brain kicked in and he let his eyes drift shut kissing her back. He slowly lifted an arm to put around her waist but she moved from it so he let it drop. It seemed like forever they were both in a heavenly daze as their lips remained fixed on each other. It was Anzu who broke the kiss as she pulled back panting slightly, her face flushed and her eyes shining from still being slightly watery. Even as she continued to pant she let a small smile creep across her face which after a minute he began to mimic. They both looked up as they heard the clock outside chime once. Of course no one was allowed a watch so they had it rigged to chime the hour on the hour outside since there were no clocks out there. Anzu quickly got up knowing she had an appointment but looked back down at Ryou and held a hand out for him. He took it and got up still smiling, just more discreet now.

"How about a game of Duel Monsters after your session," he asked still holding her hand and noticed the cute flush across her cheeks glow. She nodded happily before turning to go inside, her hand slowly slipping from his. Even after she left he was still standing there holding his hand out almost wishing he could call her back with it.

Anzu felt absolutely giddy after that. She seriously didn't know what had come over her. She had went outside to clear her head and as hot as it was and the privacy she wanted (even though the yard was deserted) she leaned back in the bushes and not 10 minutes later Ryou came out and sat next to her. She was surprised but assumed he had been tracking her down and found her but as she came and sat next to him he seemed just as surprised as she was. 'He always has the weirdest dumb luck,' she thought referring to the fact he found her by accident. Then even as he began to apologize she just felt all the loneliness that she'd been keeping in for the last few weeks welling up inside her and trying to break through her damns. But after his apology the dam broke and all of those emotions she'd been holding for so long were out in the open. Even though she knew she liked him apparently keeping that pent up wasn't good for you as when you finally do something about it it's something very drastic. Like suddenly kissing said person you like even when you don't even know how he feels for you.

She had felt like her heart was slowly being ripped in half as she kissed him and he just sat there. Yeah what she did was sudden but she was afraid it was more then shock. 'What if…he doesn't like me back? And I'm just making this all worse?' The fear in her mind clouded over her own feelings and she was about to draw back when she felt his lips press firmly against her own and felt her heart leap into her throat. 'He.is.kissing.ME.' She felt her face really heat up as his tongue licked along her bottom lip and she felt herself tremble slightly. It was then he lifted his hand and placed it on her hip and began to wrap it around her trying to pull her into an embrace. As sweet as the gesture was she felt like she was being trapped and got a very queer feeling, she lightly shook it off and was relieved he didn't seem to mind. But as happy as this moment was her lungs were quickly telling her she was going to need air soon, very soon. So with much reluctance she slowly pulled away and noticed the tinge of pink on his own face and his lips slightly parted panting lightly. She felt something inside her stir at that site and had to mentally shake her head to clear those thoughts from her mind. It was then the chime broke the spell between the two and they looked at each other once again before Anzu got to her feet holding her hand out to help him up. Even something as simple as accepting her hand up and holding it sent little waves of electricity through her body. She was reluctant to let go but let her hand casually slipped through his as she made her way to her appointment. Which left her here she was now.

She made her way into the room practically glowing and Mai couldn't help but quirk a brow at her behavior. Anzu took a seat near Mai and smiled before waving a hello.

"Having a good day Anzu?" All she got in response was a goofy grin. Mai couldn't help but smirk. "Does this have anything to do with Ryou being out of the infirmary," she asked and tried not to laugh at the started look that came over the girl's face before her face became a tinge of pink. "Gomen ne, I couldn't help it. You look so happy, I'm glad." Anzu smiled again as she picked up her board and pen.

"Ok so what do you want to do first? Chat or go through the regression?" She thought for a second before writing.

'Regression, get it out of the way.' She hadn't had a break through since that one time, even with her dreams she still wasn't any closer. Mai nodded and Anzu took the position she was familiar with as a relaxed position on the couch. She closed her eyes, cleared her mind and a clock came into focus on a building just switching to 7:07 PM. She went into the backdoor of that same building she had seen in her head a million times. Anzu's brows furrowed as an oncoming headache seemed to start up. The headache grew worse and she moaned slightly as the image was now of her going down a hallway to the third room on the right.

"Anzu are you ok," asked Mai noticing the girl's whimpers and moans. This was definitely not what usually happened. Her board still remained blank as she hadn't gotten to that part yet. In her mind she opened the door and her head seemed to be trying to tear itself apart as she took in the figure…fully. His name was Dartz, he was the main singer for the group known as Doom. She knew him from when she met him a few other times…in this same building. 'What is Dartz doing here?' These were not current thoughts; it was like she was in a dream. But she knew this was no dream. She knew something bad was about to happen, much like you see a car wreck in slow motion, you don't realize it's happening until it's already happened but you know about it before it does.

For some reason her vision didn't stop and she moaned as her brain felt like it was in a vice now. From there all she got were flashes of scenes. It flashed from her entering the room, to him smiling and handing her a drink, then there was a scene where she was sitting on a couch and he was sitting next to her, then the next scene shook her to the very core. He was on top of her, she was naked, she could actually feel the cool air on her skin, and she shivered and felt tears running down her face. She felt his hands on her body, she wanted to gag as he touched her, his touches making her skin crawl and she felt so helpless. She felt so useless. The last thing she saw was his smirking as he smoked a cigarette still naked.

Ryou was getting worried. Mai's sessions were usually only an hour and Anzu left about 1 so he guessed that's when hers was. But even so it was now 3:30, she should have been out by now. 'What if she's regretting that kiss from this morning? What if she's having second thoughts about this? Second thoughts? It's not like we're dating…are we?' He shook his head at the million thoughts swarming through his head. He got up and went to the front desk to ask if she had come back yet.

"Anzu? She just came back about 15 minutes ago with Mai." That definitely seemed odd. "She seemed a bit upset." 'Oh crap, what if she's upset about me? About this morning?' Ryou was about a hair's breath away from having a breakdown. "Mai left just a few minutes ago.

"Do you think I can see her?"

"I don't think so, she was really upset."

"But it's important I have to give something to her."

"I'm sorry but you'll just have to wait." Ryou huffed pretty pissed off. He turned and stormed back to his room.

It was 15 minutes later and he had once again snuck into the girl's hallway via the doctor's office. 'If anyone seriously wanted to get over here it wouldn't be a problem. I wonder if any other guys have tried something like this?' He should such thoughts from his head and looked down the hallway her room was in. The cost was clear as he slid along the wall and made it to her door. It was shut and he tried peering through the crack but everything was dark. He slowly cracked the door open and he heard a whimper as he did so. On the bed Anzu was lying there curled into what looked like the fetal position.

"Anzu," he called out softly with the door still cracked so he could see her. She immediately jumped and turned to face him. He felt like his heart was being ripped apart by just looking at her. There were tear streaks on her cheeks, the tears continuing to flow like a river, her eyes were red and bloodshot, and every few seconds when she sniffled he heard a muffled whimper from her throat. "Anzu," he said her name softly showing just how much it pained him to see her like that in just one word. She looked at the ground and wouldn't face him. He slowly walked over to her bed as she still wouldn't face him and he softly plopped on the bed next to her. He wanted to badly to just put his arms around her and pull her into an embrace but remembering this morning he thought it was a bad idea.

"Anzu, what happened?" She shook her head whimpering again. He slowly moved his hand closer to hers, letting her pull back if she wanted but she didn't as his hand clasped her own. "Please, I hate seeing you cry. I'm sorry about this morning, I shouldn't have tried to put my arm around you," he said dejectedly as he continued watching her. Her face shot up with a look of extreme confusion on her face. 'He thinks this is because he tried putting his arm around me this morning,' she thought while looking at him and the sincerity in his eyes. She couldn't help but let her lips tug upward into a small smile over how worried he was he had done something to make her cry. He was watching as she wiped her eyes and shook her head.

"No really I'm sorry I-" She cut him off by placing a finger on his lips. She didn't want to write anything out at the moment so she pointed to her face where the tears were slowing but still flowing and then pointed at him and shook her head hoping he'd get it. "It's…not because of me," he asked a look of relief flooding over his face. She nodded still smiling softly. It had taken her long enough to get him to smile and now it seemed every time he smiled she couldn't help but smile back. It then hit him where she had just come from. "Did something happen in session?" Her smile immediately fell and he felt panicked again as he thought he just made it worse. "You don't have to tell me right now or at all for that matter if you don't want to," he said quickly trying to make her feel better.

"Just please don't be sad anymore? I don't know what happened but I'm going to try my hardest to make sure you don't cry, I'm going to protect you," he said in a firm voice and once again she couldn't help but smile. 'He still wants to protect me.' "And just to seal the deal," he said whipping out his deck. "A game of Duel Monsters!" Anzu couldn't help but giggle as he struck a stupid pose with his deck in hand. She threw her arms around him and knew even as she was blushing a bright red he had to be blushing just as bad. This was the first time in months she had embraced anyone, the last person being her mom as she said goodbye to her when she came to this place. But now, here with him, it just felt right. But before she pulled back she wiped her face on his shirt.

"Hey what am I now a Kleenex?" She pulled back smiling and stuck her tongue out before touching her nose signaling he hit it on the dot. "Yeah well this Kleenex is going to kick your butt this game!"

Mai watched silently from the hallway. She had left the girl for a moment to go and rearrange her schedule and come back to help comfort her. But as of now it looked like she didn't need Mai. Mai's smile only widened at Ryou's reactions to Anzu. Even though he had finally started being himself it was hard to break the habit of hiding things, but around Anzu everything just seemed to come naturally. 'They're both helping each other recover faster and better then even I could help them.' She went back to her office to once again rearrange her schedule.

Ryou waved goodnight to Anzu as he made his way back to his room as it was now curfew. It almost felt like two normal teenagers hanging out and they had to be home at a certain time. 'If only we were normal teenagers,' Anzu thought as she closed the door after seeing his retreating form turn the corner. 'Go on a normal date, talk to each other.' She put her fingers to her mouth wishing just once she could talk to him; say anything, even if it was just 'hi'. 'I'm trying Ryou, I'm trying for you.'

But as she sat there alone in the dark she couldn't help but let her memories from this afternoon come back to her. Why did they all of a sudden come back today? Why didn't she have the full memory yet? Yeah she had seen a lot more then she had before but why was it still in pieces? Would she ever fully regain that memory, did she want to? Was it because of the kiss? It was her first kiss…she felt her heart ache. Her first kiss wasn't with Ryou, her first kiss was stolen from her, along with something else just as important…

She sighed and fell back on her bed bouncing a bit. The full truth hit her then and there, 'I was drugged and raped by someone I trusted.' She felt the tears threatening to return and fought hard against them. 'I want to be strong. That was months ago Anzu, and he can't get back to you.' She realized now why everyone was asking her about what happened at the hospital. They knew she was raped but didn't want to say anything. That and she knew unless she pressed charges nothing would happen.

That's why my parents tried so hard to make me remember. The doctors had said if she got enough rest and recuperated then she could get the memory back on her own. But as almost a month went by and nothing her parents got so frustrated. 'I can't blame them. There only daughter gets raped and while she can't remember a thing the rapist is out there possibly hurting other girls or could come after her. They didn't know who it was and for all they knew it could be anyone. No wonder they got so paranoid.'

'But I can't do anything until I get my voice back. I don't get it, I remember but even if I don't remember all of it, I should be able to talk now. Why can't I talk?' She remembered earlier when Ryou had come in she was whimpering and moaning, or at least that's what anyone else might have heard. She was trying to talk. Even as she remembered everything in the office the thing that made her start crying was when she calmed down she tried to talk and nothing would happen. She didn't care about the rape…she didn't care about the pain; she just wanted to talk again. But Mai kept telling her the only way that was going to happen was if she dealt with it.

'But what is there to deal with? There's nothing I can do now, it's over it's done.' Even as she said this to herself she felt her eyes watering again. 'Please not again, please I don't want to cry, please I don't want to hurt anymore…Ryou…please protect me…'

AN: Wow a first kiss and a breakthrough in one chapter! But I felt I owed it to you since I took forever to update! Gomen ne! Hope you enjoyed!