Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Lonelyness of the Heart ❯ Lonelyness of the heart ( Chapter 1 )

Ryou tells about what he felt after bakura was gone... I hope you enjoy it, it is one of my “first fics” in ages!?

 

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“Have you ever had one of those days that the rain in your heart is about to drown you?! I have, and you're the only one who can stop the rain falling in my heart. Only you are not here to take the pain away.. breathing hurts, laughing hurts, I can't act like I used to do! I feel like something is missing, and that is you! I bet that if you where here you would tell me to stop being so pathetic! But you know the most stupid thing of them all is; I wouldn't even care if you said that! I wouldn't even care if you smacked me into obedience, I wouldn't care if you screamed at me, and most of all I certainly wouldn't care if you kissed me again....

 

Because now it feels like I'm walking through the darkness, my whole world is black... I'm waiting for a sign, but there is no sign.. no sign of light, no sign of you! Why did you have to leave me here? I want to embrace you and never let you go, for a short while it felt like I was in heaven, but now it feels like i'm in hell.

 

I now that everyone here is trying to help me, but how can they help me if they don't know what I'm going through? Maybe Yugi knows.. but I never told them I actually liked you.. heck I didn't even tell you! And now it is too late!!

 

Yugi keeps on telling me that the pain will go away, and he kept on talking and talking.. but I think my eyes where shut for his words, I saw his mouth move, I saw him talking, but I couldn't hear anything he said, his words seemed to pass me by, carried away. Already lost before I could hear them...

 

And now I feel lonely, I know they still care about me, but somehow they know I'm not the same. It feels like I'm slowly drifting away.. nobody can grab my hand and tell me to wake up from this crazy dream... nobody but you!

 

And it isn't exactly helping that you look like me, or should I say I look like you? Everytime I look in the mirror, I see you.. at least, I hope I see you!! I'm getting hallucinations about you, standing behind me when I look in the mirror. But when I turn around you aren't there.

 

And after so long, the only thought that crosses my mind is: I want to slash my wrists.. I want to be with you again! I don't care if you feel anything for me or not! But I can't stand this lonelyness...

 

I mean, look at me! Do I look like I'm living?! Everyone keeps telling me the same thing.. “I can see you're sad, even when you smile! Even when you laugh I can see it in your eyes.. they're not laughing with you.”

 

So I have only one request, come take this pain from me, all I ask of you is to get it away from me!

 

But you never came.. and now I'm here.. sitting on my bed, with the knife in my hands. Look at what you've done to me! I'm about to cut my wrists just to be with you again! Isn't that pathetic.. I bet you would encourage me now, if you where here I mean.. I bet you would tell me: “Go on! Do it.. you are a chicken! You don't even dare to end your own life..”

And me.. for the first time I'll say: “I'm not a chicken!” and I would cut my wrists.. and the ironic part is, I just did it! I can feel the salty, red liquid dripping away from my veins.. and the first thought that crosses my mind is; “it is beautiful.. it is my life.. I can see my life dissapearing into the once nice white sheets...”

 

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Forever broken: *sniff* Oh my god I'm so mean!! I just killed ryou!!

 

Ryou: you did?.. *silence ensues* OH MY GOD !! you friggin killed me!

 

Forever broken: *runs and hides* hehehe I think I'm going now!! See ya

 

Ryou: *runs after Forever broken* OH NO!! You are going tobring me back to life!!