Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Look in My Face, Step in My Soul ❯ Love ( Chapter 4 )

Disclaimer: Alas, no; Yu-gi-oh is not mine. You'll have to ask that bum Kazuki Takahashi ^_^

A/N: OMiG, it's *dun dun* the last chappy! T_T I am shamed beyond words. I don't even know how long it's been since I've posted anything anymore, and I mean anything. And to think, I actually wrote this thing in three days... shows, too; eh... This chapter going out to Anon on Aff.net! `Cus everyone on fanfiction.net was so pissed with the way I ended this story, so when I saw her review I was like, O_O, and then YAY! Shows how often I even bother to check my reviews anymore, sigh... But it's not like I'm getting bored with fan fiction or anything. Actually, I've been too busy writing to be bothered with little things like, y'know, posting, or coughschoolcough...

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Chapter Four: Love

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Kaiba woke up. The first thing he was aware of was pain. Now that Bakura knew that he wouldn't be able to send him to the shadow realm, the spirit had hurt him to his heart's content. So much pain...

He sighed. He had rarely ever felt so tired, but the fact remain that he needed a shower. His body was covered all over in dried blood, and his face was caked in things he'd rather not think about. If someone came to wake him up tomorrow and found him like this... So, despite the fact that every movement made him feel like he was on fire, and despite the fact that it was two in the morning, he drug himself out of bed and into a bath.

Once he was done he did feel much cleaner - physically, at least. But he still couldn't go to bed, reason being: he was hungry. Starving. Well, it was his kitchen; nobody was going to try and stop him if he grabbed a midnight snack.

But someone did, and without even trying. In the halls he almost bumped in to the person he wanted to see least right now - well, maybe second-least - Yugi. Or Yugi's yami, he thought, just from looking at him. Now that he knew about it he couldn't understand why he'd never noticed the difference before.

He mentally groaned. Why now? But he did have a reputation to uphold. "What the hell are you doing up at this time of night?" It came out sounding kind of dull, but it was the middle of the morning, after all; he probably wouldn't notice.

Yu - Yami - raised an eyebrow. "I could ask the same of you, you know," he replied, and to Kaiba's surprise he sounded tired too.

"It's my blimp; I can do what I want on it," the taller of the two snapped, managing to work some irritation into his voice. "Just answer the question."

Yami sighed. "Ryou is gone," he said simply. "The spirit of the ring and Marik dueled, and the spirit lost. There was nothing I could do. He has been banished to the shadow realm, taking his lighter half with him - not that you believe in such things, of course."

Kaiba was dazed. "Bakura is... gone?" he whispered. Yami just shrugged heavily, and made to walk past him - but Kaiba grabbed his arm. "Wait. You can't be serious - he's really gone?"

Yami sighed again. "Yes, Ryou Bakura is gone. Again, not as if you believe in such things."

He didn't know whether to laugh, or cry. He had so many unresolved feelings for him... He felt both relived and sad, and at the same time mad at himself for both emotions... So he settled for lost. Yami saw the look in his face, and frowned. This wasn't the Seto Kaiba he knew. He should be scoffing, saying that was impossible... "Are you alright?" he demanded.

"...No," Kaiba admitted. His knees were giving out... He started to fall, but Yami caught him. Ah, apparently all yamis had such inhuman strength; there was no way that shrimp could support him.

"Kaiba!" Yami yelled, obviously shocked. "What's the matter?"

Seto winced. So shameful, being held up by his arch rival... Nothing to the last couple days of course, but still... He stood up hurriedly. "I just felt a little dizzy for a moment," he said curtly, in a let's-pretend-this-didn't-happen tone. But he just couldn't keep up the front that long. "Yugi - or whoever you are - can I come talk to you for a little while?"

Yami blinked, at the request in general and at the `whoever you are' part in particular. But he nodded, so they walked off to Yami's room.

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He supposed that he just needed someone, anyone to talk to, and as bizarre as it seemed, his only rival just happened to be there. Even though there was so much bad blood between them, he made a good listener. It wasn't as if he actually had any friends to talk to. He carefully neglected to mention that his father had done the same thing to him before, or that his did the same thing to Jou, but other than that he told him the whole story. He finished by explaining that he still hadn't really worked out how he felt about Bakura, and that now that he was gone he wondered if he'd ever know.

"There isn't any way to bring him back, is there?" he asked.

Yami's eyes widened. "You actually want him back, even after everything he's put you though?" he demanded.

Kaiba shrugged. "No." `Sure you don't.' "I'm just curious, I guess."

"No," Yami said, shaking his head. "Well, I can't, at least. Maybe Marik could, because he sent him there. Maybe if one of us were to duel him, we could set the return of Ryou's and his yami's souls as one of the prizes... But he would surely ask for something very valuable from us if we were to loose - like our own souls. Do you want him back that much?"

Kaiba shivered, remembering the time he spent in the shadow realm at Pegasus's hands. "No," he said, with more finality than he felt.

"A wise decision," Yami agreed. "It may be true that you love him, but regardless, it would be impossible for him to return your feelings. But perhaps there is another one who could..."

Kaiba gaped at him. "What?!" he choked.

Yami smiled. "I have been around thousands of years, I'll ask you to remember. There's someone else in this story that you forgot to mention, maybe someone who's more important to you than you thought."

Kaiba couldn't say anything; he just stared. Maybe this man sitting in front of him really was a pharaoh once; he was too smart for comfort. He had said that so that it was perfectly possible that he could have been talking about, say, Mokuba. But they both knew he wasn't...

Yami stood up. "Now, I think it is time to sleep. Good night." He had just stepped through the door, when Kaiba called to him.

"Yugi!"

Yami glanced over his shoulder. "Yes?"

"This discussion never happened, understood?"

The pharaoh laughed softly. "Quite clearly," he assured him. Perhaps Kaiba would heal from all this...

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Click... click... click... click... ... ... click.

Jou sat on his bed, opening and closing his knife, staring at it. Click, click.

He was going to kill himself with this knife.

He was disgusting, a blemish. He needed to be gone. Maybe wherever he went, heaven or hell, would be better than here. This was hell. Or maybe those people who talked about reincarnation were right, and he would be reborn into a better life... who knew?

Maybe after he died, Kaiba would love him. He might be weak, but he was strong enough to kill himself. Ha!

There was a frantic knocking on the door. "Jonouchi! Are you all right?"

Jou sighed. `Yugi. Oh well.' But there was a glowing outside the door, and the door slid open. Yami froze at the sight of the knife.

Yami had thought he had sensed something bad, passing by. But he wasn't doing what he thought he was doing, was he...? "Jonouchi," he said warningly, "what are you doing with that knife?"

"Go away."

`Shit, I was right!' "Jou, put down the knife," Yami pleaded. "Please!"

Jou laughed hollowly. "I don't want to. Yug', could you do something for me? Could you go get Kaiba? I want ta tell him something first..."

`First...' Yami paled; he knew he should have used his shadow powers more. The other yamis might have been able to take the knife from his hand from here, but he was only good at summoning monsters in shadow games. It had taken a fair amount of effort just to open that door. He had never practiced any kind of combative skills; pharaoh doesn't fight his own battles... Why did he want to talk to Kaiba? Then it clicked. Oh, Ra... He swallowed. "Okay, I'll get Kaiba. But you have to promise me that you won't do anything until I get back, okay?"

He shrugged. "No hurry."

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The problem was, now Seto couldn't sleep. It seemed humanly impossible, but after listening to what Yugi's yami had to say, he just wasn't tired. He went and got himself that sandwich he had originally intended to get, then he took it with him up to the dueling deck.

So, this was where Bakura had disappeared. There were still bits of mist from the shadow realm hanging in the air; they made him feel strange inside when they touched his skin. He shuddered, going over to the railing at the edge to watch the moon on the water.

All his life, he had taken pride in the fact that he made his own decisions. But for once, he wished someone could tell him what to feel. Of course, they actually already had, he reflected. Both Ryou and Yugi's yami had told him to stay away from Bakura at all costs. And maybe he could... because now there was the issue of Jou.

Jou the mutt. What was he supposed to do about this? Just thinking about him made him feel guilty... Because he might actually have hurt Jou more than Bakura had hurt him. Not as much physically, maybe, but more mentally. He had never made any effort to find out what he thought or felt. Maybe Bakura only did so for his own amusement, but at least he didn't treat him like he had no brain. For the first time, he wondered if Jou loved him. He couldn't possibly imagine why he would, but there was always a chance, right? Not that he was sure he loved Jou or anything. He owed it to him to at least be sure. But if the blonde did have feelings for him, perhaps they could work something out. And if he didn't... well, the least he could offer him was friendship.

He sighed ever so slightly, feeling better than he had in days. It was a shame he hadn't met that Yugi under different circumstances; he certainly did give good advice... Well, speak of the pharaoh! Just then the elevator light flashed, and Yami stumbled out of it. He was gasping for breath, like he'd been running.

Kaiba raised an eyebrow. "Didn't you go to bed?" he inquired.

"Ra curse it all; why are you all the way up here?" he panted. "Kaiba, come with me, now!"

Noting the desperation in his voice, Seto did as he was asked. "What's going on?" he demanded as they road the elevator down.

"I think Jonouchi may be planning to kill himself," he explained hurriedly. "He asked to see you."

The words hit him like quite a lot of bricks. "Why?!"

"I don't know." He fixed him with a piercing stare. "But I think you might know, ne?"

Seto paled as he realized that he probably did. This was... this was just like what Ryou had told him about...

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The two of them made it to Jou's room in record time. "Stop it, Jonouchi!" Kaiba yelled, the moment they stepped inside.

"No," Jou said bitterly. He was standing in the middle of the room, knife poised over his wrist. "I have to die. I'm weak, remember?"

Seto gawked at him. How had he ever damaged him this much? He was right, he was worse than Bakura... But he would have time to hate himself later. "No, you're not," he said firmly. "The only thing that would be weak would be giving up and killing yourself. And... I'm sorry." Jou and Yami wore twin looks of amazement. "Look, just give me the knife-" He took a step closer, and Jou jerked the knife closer to his wrist. Yami grabbed his arm and shot him a warning look.

"I don't care what you say," Jou snapped. "You're just lying. Seto-" Seto blinked; Jou never called him by his first name - "I love you." And with that, he brought the knife down towards his wrist.

"I love you too!" Yami's eyes widened, and Jou jumped - just enough that the knife only nicked the edge of his arm and went flying.

For a moment, everybody was frozen. Yami took this opportunity to dart forward and grab the knife off the floor. "I think I should take this for now... and go," he said quietly, and left the room.

"You're lying!" Jou repeated angrily. "You could never-" Seto walked over to him, and he flinched. To his utmost surprise, the brunette took his arm gently and examined the cut.

"It's not too deep," he said gruffly, not meeting the other's eyes. "There's a first-aid kit in one of the desk drawers; hold on."

He cleaned and bandaged the cut in silence, thinking. Did he really mean it, that he loved him? Maybe it was too soon to tell. But he had told himself he would try his best, and he was going to.

When he looked up, he discovered that Jou was crying silently. "I'm sorry," he muttered again, and neither of then had to ask what for.

"You didn't mean it," Jou said, dully. "There's no way. You just said that to get me to stop, didn't you?"

Kaiba sighed. "I don't know," he admitted. "But... I'm willing to give it a try, if you are." He lifted the other's chin up, and kissed him as gently as he possibly could.

When they pulled apart Jou was still crying, but he looked shocked now, instead of depressed. He buried his face in Seto's trench coat, clinging to him for support. Seto wrapped his arms around him awkwardly. "What happened to you?" Jou whispered.

"It's a long story," he said quietly. "But it was a very... humbling experience. I never knew how much I was hurting you... I'll tell you about it later."

The blonde smiled shakily, though he looked a little nervous. "Yeah... You look really tired; I guess you want to go to bed."

Kaiba considered his bed. Disgusting... "No, I think I'll stay here for a while - if it's okay with you. I promise I won't hurt you; I just want to talk."

Jou looked at him strangely for a moment, then grinned. "Okay."

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KR: *stares* Wow, a lime/lemon-less chapter... Aw, you poor hentais! It's longer than the others by about a page though... Is that a good thing or a bad thing? *worry worry* I hope I talked about Jonouchi enough earlier that this ending wasn't a total let-down. Oh well, I guess I'll find out soon... If you would just click that pretty lil' button down there... No, not the start menu, the review button! ^____^ Oh well, I may not be entirely sure about it myself, but I still think it was cute... R&R and ja-ne!