Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Marik's Insane Plot or Bakura gets pissed! ❯ Virgins are Hard to Cum By ( Prologue )

Disclaimer: None of this is mine. This takes place after Yuugi graduates high school.

Note: I know nothing much of Yu-gi-oh except for what I have read of the manga version through Shonen Jump. I cannot digest the cartoon. This is more of an offbeat fic rather than cannon. You may or may not like it. I don't know whether Yami retains his memories, but for the sake of this fic, he does. I portray Bakura as I read him in other fics. I love how people portray him. Malik is just mental.

Prologue

One wish was all it took and Yami had his own body. It was his aibou's decision. While Yuugi went to college, Yami would continue being the King of Games. He made a lot of money, and damn, did he love every moment of it! Of course, he still lived with his Aibou and his grandfather. Where ever his aibou was, he wanted to be. Never had he felt as connected to a soul as he did to his light.

Of course, after he had been separated into the living world, things had gone differently for his aibou. Yami wondered…why were people so fickle? His friends had stopped coming around, but they all gravitated toward the Pharaoh. He wanted nothing to do with them. He never took them up on their offers to go out to the movies or to that nasty burger place. Not without his hikari!

Would one think that Bakura, as much of a miserable person he was, would willingly leave Ryou behind? No. He was too busy trying to get into his pants! Oy! Bakura was known for many things that the Pharaoh had remembered recently. Definitely his heightened sex drive toward any gender was one of them!

Then there was the crazy Malik or Marik or whatever the hell his name was! He had driven his own hikari's soul out and killed his family in order to rule the world! Yami knew he would still try! After all, how many phone calls had he received recently threatening his life that he tactfully ignored? Oh yeah, the latest? Death by watching Hamtaro! Yeesh!

Japan was certainly different from Egypt. There was no desert and the nearest city wasn't thousands of miles away. The pharaoh loved to travel the cities when dueling. He got to meet new people and make new friends. People were so different.

Yami entered the game room of another duel. Some stupid rich teenage brat wanted to battle the King of Games and win in order to impress his father. He had to hand it to the brat, he had a good deck…but not good enough!

"If it isn't Yami Motou. I finally get to battle with you." Of course, Yami was soooooooo tired of these stupid duelists and their talk that sounded worse than some cartoons with bad dialogue. "I have a proposition for you."

Yami just snorted in disgust. Getting the dueling disk on his arm, Yami loaded his cards and then waited for the stupid teen to finish his senseless babble.

"High and mighty aren't we?" The teen asked.

"You watch way too much television. Shut up!" Yami looked the teen in the eyes across from him.

"You may want to hear what I have to say." The blond teen smiled that shit eating grin Yami hated.

"What could you possibly say that could interest me?" Yami was growing tired of this!

"Two words, Yuugi Motou." That made Yami internally flinch, but he didn't let it show on the outside.

"What about him." Yami asked pretending to be disinterested when he actually wanted to know what this punk was up to.

"I want to make the stakes high in this. You can call me Brad by the way." Ugh! BRAAAAAAAAAAAD!!!-Yami thought in disgust. What a name!

"Nice name. Were your parents on something when they named you?" Yami snorted.

"Hah! I see you have a sense of humor!" Brad smiled. "So, here are my terms."

"The terms of the game are in the rule book. I suggest you go back and read it if you have a problem!" Yami interjected.

"No. I want to change them." Brad leaned forward on the console. "You see, I play to win. When I win, I want something from the opponent."

"What does this have to do with Yuugi." Yami demanded a bit more than he should have.

"Well, you seem interested in his welfare. Very well then. If I win, you, the little freak and his grandfather leave the game shop to me. If you win, I do nothing."

"If I win, you play a penalty game for being an asshole." Yami concluded for him.

"Overtime?" Brad asked.

"No! This isn't hockey or baseball! A penalty game is something totally different that only I play." Yami's grin turned dark. "Ready?"

"Of course."

The game commenced. Of course, as an hour rolled by, and without a strategy of his own, Yami naturally won against the amateur. Distraught by his loss, Brad threw a tantrum of his own.

"Are you done ranting like a child?" Yami sneered.

"No! How dare you! How could you do this to me!" Brad threw his cards everywhere.

"Because you don't know how to play. I am sure the people you played with let you win because of who you are!" Yami put his deck away. "I'm sure your father taught you that you cannot have everything in life go your way."

"I'M RICH!!! I CAN DO WHAT I WANT!!" Brad shouted.

"Bad attitude to have. Money doesn't make the man." Yami looked up at the teen. "No matter how rich you are, that's no excuse for having bad manners."

"How would you know!" Brad spat.

"I would know. I'm not going to tell you why." Yami smirked. "I told you, if I won, you would have to play a penalty game."

"What the hell is this penalty game!" Brad demanded.

"Simple. I decide your fate." Brad noticed something glowing on Yami's forehead.

"Wha…what are you!" He demanded.

"Let's just say, I'm someone from the way distant past. Before your civilization emerged, before Christ, before Christianity. I commanded the moon and the sun to rise and fall. Can you guess what I was?" Yami noticed the look of confusion on his face. "I guess not since you only seem to know about fast cars and young ladies. Didn't pay much attention in school did you."

Brad still didn't answer. Yami was having too much fun overloading the teen. He swore he could see smoke coming out of Brad's ears. Wouldn't it be nice if his head exploded and saved Yami the trouble of punishing him for threatening the welfare of his aibou.

"Since your brain seems to be overloaded with too much information at this time, I guess I'll just start the penalty game." The eye on his forehead glowed more. "I reserve death for those who are more deserving. Since you need to learn your lesson to carry on to your next life, this is what I will place on you. Remember that fairy tale of King Midas? Since you think money makes the man, let's see how you react when everything you touch, everything you love, turns to gold." Brad's body glowed in a golden light.

When the light disappeared, Brad snorted in disgust and began to pick up his cards that he threw in a fit of rage. As he touched them, they turned to pure gold. His eyes grew to the size of saucers. This guy was not kidding.

Of course, Brad found the cards turning to gold the most amazing thing that had ever happened. He had no idea what was to come.

"You think this is a punishment? I will be the first person to have golden duel cards!" Brad laughed happily.

"Oh really." Yami drawled. "Guess again, smart ass. Your food, your family, everything you touch will turn to gold. If I were you, I wouldn't touch myself either. You wouldn't want to have a dead weight between your legs get you down now, would you?" Yami smirked as he left the battle field. "Have a nice life."

"YOU THINK THIS IS A PUNISHMENT! HAH!" The stupid teen shouted back.

Yami shook his head in disbelief. This one would take hundreds of years to learn his lesson. All he had to do now was collect his winnings and leave.

"I need a virgin sacrifice!" Malik shouted at Bakura. "Can't you find me one for crying out loud!"

"Read the sign, buddy! It's called "Bondage Bakuras". There ain't gonna be any virgins walking through that door. If there are any virgin sacrifices, it'll be done by me, thank you very much!" Bakura snarled at the crazed Malik.

"I thought you were my ally, Bakura! I want to get that Pharaoh back!" Malik's voice boomed throughout Bakura's office.

Bakura just sat down at his desk, calm, cool and royally pissed off! When was Malik ever going to give up? Maybe if he let the idiot loose on Yami, then he would be sent to the Shadow Realm by the Pharaoh. Then Bakura could get on with his business peacefully.

"It's over, Malik! Get over it and find a hobby! Jerking off is a good one followed by getting a life, a job and possibly getting laid if you don't scare the ladies off!" Bakura criticized.

"HOW DARE YOU MOCK ME, THIEF!!" Malik shouted.

"I call it, like I see it!" Bakura answered back. "Don't call me thief…it'll piss off Ryou and you don't want him to cry now, do you? It's a very traumatic experience that I do not wish to experience again."

"You let your Hikari cry?" Malik laughed. "You're such a loser, Bakura."

"I'm not the one standing in someone's office asking for a virgin sacrifice, BUD!" Bakura stood up in ready to slug the stupid sorcerer. "They don't do stuff like that anymore in this century. Get a gun and just shoot him if you're so hell bent on getting the Pharaoh back for sealing you in the millennium item. I don't think any gods are going to kill him for you if you sacrifice someone unnecessarily. It doesn't work that way and it never has!"

"You question the gods." Malik challenged.

"Have you seen how many religions there are now in this world? We create our own gods. If there is one, he is probably laughing his ass off at us for being so stupid! He has better things to do than worry about what we think or feel! If he let you live, he let Yami and I live. So who are you to question this God or kill Yami? I don't want him dead. I just wanted the damned millennium items! Never got them to rule the world, did I? You see, I saw this sign. It said, you want to rule the world? Go to this place! So I did and it was a business seminar! Hence, here is Bondage Bakuras! While I don't rule the world, I could rule the business world! What do you think of that!" Bakura crossed his arms over his chest.

"I think you use too much bleach in your hair!" Malik shot back.

"Well, you're a natural blond and you act like one too!" Bakura devilishly grinned. "Get with it and get a life, Malik! Your days are over and the items don't work anymore, therefore, you cannot rule the world. Even if you did, no one on this planet would put up with you!"

"You forget, I can control minds!" Malik smirked.

"The weak minded like you." Bakura reminded him. "Some power. Not what I would want. Oh wait, I forgot! The politicians in this world would be powerless against your mind control!"

"See?" Malik cross his arms.

"Don't be so proud of yourself! They weren't intelligent to begin with!" Bakura snorted. "Get out of my office. I am trying to turn over a new leaf. Something you wouldn't understand!"

"Where's the leaf?" Malik scratched his head in confusion.

"Up your ass! Get out!" Bakura pointed toward the door. "While you're at it, go Baker Act your ass into a mental institution!"

Malik's expression of confusion turned to that of anger…not that Bakura cared or anything…

"We'll meet again old' friend." Malik walked out. "I won't forget this."

"I'll try my best to." Bakura shot back.