Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Moon's Blind Dates ❯ My Bad Luck ( Chapter 1 )

Moon's Blind Dates

Disclaimer: If I owned Yugioh I'd be making these into movies not fics. This is my first fic in the first-person, so have mercy on the weak. I got this idea from a radio show.

I was a lonely authoress and needed a companion, so I called a blind date service.

Operator: We'll hook you up with a man soon. We have a perfect match for you.

Moon: Okay then (feeling a little reluctant).

*3 days later*

I was looking my best. I even wore a fair looking dress. I have self-esteem issues; I hoped the guy wouldn't make fun of me. I could hear a cab coming. My heart raced, my chest was squeezing, and I felt my legs going stiff. The door bell rang and I tried to calmly answer it. What I saw made my heart plunge to my feet.

Bonz: Hey, cutie!

Moon: (Sweat drop)

Bonz: Ready for our hot date?

Moon: (Anime tears) Sure…

He quickly whisked me to the cab. I consider Bonz to be a first-place Michael Jackson look-alike and nothing more.

*In the cab*

Bonz: I found a poem for you.

Moon: (In head) Maybe he's sensitive.

Bonz: *clears throat* You are as cute as a dove, you are pretty, my love, you are fine, I want you to be mine (CORNY!), together lets be stuck, lets get in bed and… oh, I should have read it before reading it out loud.

Moon: (Sweat drops) (In head) This day is going to REALLY suck! *cab stops* Thank goodness! *Gets out of car*

Apparently Bonz's idea of a romantic date was a dinner at McDonalds.

Bonz: Let's go baby! *grabs my hand and pulls be inside*

The restaurant (or more like a pig trough) smelled of fake beef and old cheese. I decided to act less crude and ordered a salad. Bonz ordered a Big Mac.

Clerk: That will be 10 dollars, please.

Moon: (Anger welling up) That is incorrect sir.

Clerk: That will be 7.25.

Moon: (Getting pissed off) No, wrong again.

Clerk: That will be 6.13.

Moon: YOU STUPID GEEK! CAN'T YOU ADD?! I GUESS YOUR MAMA DROPPED YOU ON YOUR HEAD BECAUSE YOU'RE SO DAMN UGLY! (Steam comes out of ears)

Clerk: (Scared out of mind) It is free. (Looks at pants) I wet myself!

Bonz: (Totally ignoring my freak-out) Well that's good I didn't bring any money. (Puts hand on my shoulder)

Moon: (In head) What kind of stupid jackass doesn't bring money to a date? (Growls under breath) Take it of or I'll break it off!

Bonz: Oh, fiery little demon (growls).

Then out of the blue he went up and spanked my ass in front of everyone. I felt like slapping until his head fell off his neck.

Clerk: (Twitches convulsively) Order number 13 (how ironic).

I grudgingly took our order to the table. I tried to eat daintily, yet anyone would look good in front of Bonz and his savage-like eating habits.

Bonz: You know you have the cutest face.

He took another bite and the caustic sauce squirted out of it a landed on my hand.

Moon: (In head) I don't feel so good.

*30 minutes later*

The date was almost over (YAY!), but before I got inside the cab Bonz did something I wouldn't imagine in my wildest dreams. He grabbed me…and FRENCH KISSED ME!!! 0_0!! The taste of Big Mac ran through my mouth and I was inches away from using my authoress authority against him and murder him (but I didn't). Then he didn't something even more appalling (this is going to be bad!). He stuck his finger in my bellybutton (yes, I repeat my bellybutton) and asked me to be his girlfriend.

Moon: …uh…I'll think of it (NOT!). I have to come home and feed my cat.

*At home*

I plopped down on the couch. But definitely beforehand rinsed my mouth out with a lot of mouthwash.

Moon: That sucked! I may try a different guy again.

I called the line again.

Operator: How was the date?
Moon: Pretty much fucked up!

Operator: …Well we can try another search.

Moon: Alright.

End of Chapter (maybe). So review and I may add another chapter of random hilarity.