Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ MST of.. "A Tomb Robber's Daughter" ❯ TRD--Ch.1-ph34r. ( Chapter 1 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

MST of "A Tomb Robber's Daughter"
fic by: Malik's Girlfriend
MST by: Sasha Janre

Cast: (who you shall listen to blab for the next while)

Sasha the aspiring writer
Bakura the marauding tomb robber
Marik the psychopathic motorcyclist
Skye the yaoi arteest

Note: There's references to an MST Skye did of "Our little one's" by the same "writer". Also, prepare for two long rants from moi.

First before I start this fic I want to say thank you to Teafan123 cause when I read one of her fics called why him I came up with an idea of a fic. I hope use's all enjoy it.

>Bakura: Now I know who I'll hunt down and gut like a fish.
>Marik: Jeez, now if you could only come up with an idea of how to write.
>Sasha: Remember! Elementary school is your friend!
>Skye: *sigh* The good old days. Cookies, recess ... who remembers recess?

Right so before any one get's confused I will tell you who is who.

>Marik: Oh this should be enlightening.
>Sasha: *gets a notepad ready for this bout of enlightenment*

Bakura/ Yami Bakura

>Skye: Shouldn't you just call him Bakura? It's much simpler and less to type.

Ryou/ Bakura

>Sasha: Gah! She's been watching the dub!
>Bakura: *cracks his knuckles* Bitch is gonna die.

Malik/ Marik

>Marik: Well, I'm glad it's not "Merrick"
>Skye: Heheh...I love closed captioning.

Marik/ Yami Marik

>Sasha: *snicker* Why not call him "Evil Marik" like Closed Captioning?
>Bakura: Isn't that trying to be a bit too hip for CC?
>Sasha: Well they did say Duke laughed "wickedly".

Warning Yami Bakura and Tea is a couple in this fic.

>Bakura: DIE! *grabs a lance from somewhere and lunges at the screen*
>Sasha: *thoughtfully* Shouldn't it be "are a couple"?
>Bakura: *stops in mid-lunge* Is this REALLY the best time for one of your grammatical lectures?
>Sasha: There's never a bad time to refresh your m4d gr4|\/| |\/|4r s|{i11z.
>Skye: Stop reading webcomics, dear.
>Sasha: Hehe .. ph34r.

A tomb robber's daughter chapter 1

>Bakura: Chapter one!? There's more?!
>Marik: *pats Bakura's shoulder* You lucky bastard you.
>Bakura: *bangs head on the seat in front of him*

Tea returns to domino

>Skye: From where, hell?
>Sasha: Pfft, like I'd ever let someone that stupid into my dwelling.
>Bakura: Doesn't Duo Maxwell run that with you?
>Marik: Isn't it his shift now?
>Sasha: Yes it i ... damn you Maxwell.

Tea was in London with her mom and dad for four years, and they were getting ready to go back to Domino in Japan.

>Skye: Why was she in London?
>Sasha: Who knows? ... Or cares?
>Marik: I would love to see some description.
>Bakura: I would like to see some bloodshed, but you don't see that happening, skippy.
>Marik: .... Skippy?
>Bakura: Shut up.

Tea's daughter was not too happy about going to Japan, as she doesn't like traveling that much.

>Marik: Well that would explain it, now wouldn't it?
>Sasha: But then you get to meet dear old dad!
>Bakura: I refuse to be a father to anything that came out of Gardener.
>Skye: I bet she has your shining personality.

Tea: "Christina come on all ready are we will miss are plane"

>Sasha: .... that should be "or" and "our"
>Skye: Nope, it's "are" in this world. It's a multi-talented word y'know.
>Marik: *snicker* You named your daughter Christina?
>Bakura: Look, that thing isn't my daughter and that moron named her, not me.
>Sasha: Hee ... she should've been named "Cup" so they would all say "Hey, there comes tea, cup, and Malik!"
>Skye: That was bad, Sash.

Christina: "I don't wanna go mama"

>Bakura: Then don't! Impale the wench with a knife and run if you're my daughter!

Tea: "You know what your so much like your father"

>Bakura: *shudders* I am not a father.
>Marik: Oh yes you are, Bakura. *smirk*
>Bakura: At least I didn't bang Gardener and my sister.
>Skye: Where has all the punctuation gone?
>Sasha: *hoarding said punctuation in a secret cache* Uh? I mean ... I have no idea.

Christina: "And that's another thing, who's my father"

>Skye: Kinda lippy for being four. Damn kids.
>Sasha: (Tea) "Your father is a 5000 year old tomb robber."
>Marik: (Christina) "Ok"
>Bakura: I was the king of bandits in my day! I will NOT be reduced to such *goes into a hour long rant filled with many curses and random obscenities as possible*

Christina gives Tea an evil glare with her brown eyes, she look a lot like Yami Bakura. She had White hair and the same style as Yami Bakura's but more spikier.

>Marik: How is that fugging possible? The man has bat hair!
>Bakura: Shut up. Your yami is commonly known as "sunflower head"
>Sasha: Which reminds me. Sunflower head is my muse and he's been sleeping too much. Gotta wake that bastard up.
>Skye: Good luck with that.

Tea: "That's enough Christina, and you will meet your father when we get to Japan"

>Bakura: Like hell you will! *tries to escape*
>Theatre: *is not so easily escaped and Bakura gets flung back to his seat*
>Bakura: ^&*(%$#@$%*&%!
>Marik: So I see you finally finished the theatre.
>Sasha: I told you I was working on it.

Christina; "But I want to meet him now"

>Marik: Look through the screen! Here he is!
>Bakura: *is hiding behind Sasha*
>Skye: The great marauding tomb robber hiding behind a fanfic author.
>Sasha: Whatever is closest makes the best human shield, right Bakura?
>Bakura: Damn right!

Tea: "You can't he lives all the way in Japan, but I will tell you how old he is in stead"

>Bakura: You never give out a spirit's real age!
>Skye: But everyone knows you're 5000 years old!
>Sasha: Hell, even Tea knows.
>Marik: Instead is one word. ONE! How does his age satisfy her curiosity anyway?

Christina: "How old"

>Skye: Really old! But he still looks good!
>Bakura: Pft, and I didn't use any of that wrinkle cream.
>Sasha: Considering you're a spirit and everything.
>Bakura: Mere technicality. *waves hand*

Tea: "He's a 5ooo year old sprit, ok, happy now"

>Sasha: And what four year old kid would take that as an answer?
>Marik: That one?
>Skye: Which begs the question. How did he get to separate from Ryou?
>Sasha: Maybe it happened while Bakura took over?
>Skye: Maybe.
>Bakura: It didn't happen at all you fools!

Christina: "NO"

>Bakura: Jeez, it's not my fault the stupid Pharaoh locked me away in that God-forsaken Ring.
>Sasha: Technically, it is. You wandered into his tomb when he locked the magicks away in the items.
>Bakura: SHUT UP.
>Skye: Well seriously, what kid is going to believe their father is 5000 years old?
>Marik: Who knows? *drinks a bottle of Molson Canadian*
>Bakura: Hey, where'd you get that?
>Marik: There's a case right there. *point*
>Sasha/Skye/Bakura: Yes! *each grab a bottle*
>Skye: Suddenly this is more tolerable.

Tea's mom: "TEA, CHRISTINA WE HAVE TO GO"

>Sasha: For the record, this doesn't count as a fic. It's a mixture of a really bad script and no mother fucking grammar. I want to find this person and force a dictionary down their throat. I mean, seriously! You can just say she yelled, called, screamed, something! But I refuse to believe that this person is actually serious by calling this a fic! It's not! A fic is a story that has actual sentences, quotation marks, tag words, ACTUAL STRUCTURE! I can't believe I'm subjecting myself to this below third grade quality of writing! It's not even that! It's a mass of bloody words strewn together! *breathes*
>Bakura: *a tad bit wide-eyed* Hatheway, you've talked to her more than us. What the hell was that?
>Skye: *matter o' factly* Sasha's an english nut. Therefore, if there's a monstrosity that ever crosses her vision such as this, sometimes she kinda spazzes.
>Marik: I see why my yami is her muse.

Tea: "I'M COMING MOM"

>Marik: *restrains Sasha from going balistic again*

Christina: "No way are you taking me to Japan"

>Skye: (Tea) Tough, brat. I'm dumping you off with your father when we get there. I'm going to get Yami, ooh, that cute bastard! *giggles and prances off*
>Marik: (Christina) *sweatdrop* I'm so glad I got none of her traits.

Tea: "Your coning if you like it or not"

Tea get's a hold of Christina's hand and drags her to the airport.

>Bakura: Always a sign of being a good mother.
>Sasha: Who are you kidding? You'd drag your kid in a potato sack.
>Bakura: *fondly* Yeah, I would.
>Marik: How does one "con" anyway?
>Skye: Going to an anime convention?
>Marik: *sweatdrop* Indeed. But ... can you own "coning"?
>Skye: Tis the powers of crappyness.

Mean while in Japan Tristan and Duke are fighting over Serenity, on who should date her first.

>Skye: *seething* DIE! *goes to lunge at Serenity*
>Bakura: What the hell?
>Sasha: Ya see, in our Yu-Gi-Oh! Role Play, she's got Joey. But she's stupidly jealous of the fact that Joey duels for his sister and blah blah blah. I keep telling her it's not the end of the world, but she doesn't listen.
>Marik: Well, it's not like she's doing anything. Serenity's useless. Just like most of the cast.

Duke: "Look Tristan she likes me, cause I have the looks and the pretty hair"

>Sasha: Amen! ^_^
>Skye: Mine!
>Sasha: Can it, you have Wheeler.
>Skye: And you're with Kaiba.
>Sasha: Yes, but he's not here. ^_~

Tristan: "Yeah but I meet her before you"

>Marik: Yet, that idiot used DICE to take out my rare hunters!
>Sasha: Yeah, you gotta watch those dice. They're dangerous.

Serenity: "Please will use's to stop fighting over me"

>Skye: *ahem* "Use's to"?
>Bakura: I'm going out on a limb and saying she meant "you two"
>Sasha: Like she's anything to fight over.

Tristan: "Ok Serenity, who do you like more me or Duke"

>Marik: Is there really a choice here?

Serenity: "Tristan, your going out with Bakura remember, so I say Duke"

>All: WHAT?!
*Loud pained yelling is heard from ... somewhere, voice belonging to Ryou*
>Skye: T_T Poor Ryou! *feels sorry for him*
>Bakura: Jeez, even I wouldn't wish that on Ryou.

Duke: "Yes"

>Marik: You'd think he'd be more enthusiastic.
>Skye: Serenity's not that much to be enthusiastic about.
>Marik: Good point. *searches for the missing punctuation*

Tristan: "Huh, well just think Joey's going out with Marik"

>Marik: WHAT?!?!?!?!
>Sasha: *blinks* Well ... um... that's new.

Serenity: "Well they do make a cute couple"

>Marik: *cursing unspeakably*
>Skye: Hey, get away from my puppy, Ishtar!
>Marik: Like I'd want something that ugly!
>Skye: He's not ugly!
>Marik: Well he's dumber than a post!
>Skye: I'm not with him for his smarts, y'know!
>Sasha: Shut up both of you!

Hours went by it was soon 2 o clock, Yugi was in the front of the game shop. Cleaning and dusting the floor.

>Bakura: Well that's all he's good for.
>Skye: How can you say that?! Yugi's so cute! And so small!
>Sasha: Look at who you're talking to, Skye.
>Skye: ... Good point.

Tea walks into the game shop dragging her daughter along.

>Marik: And promptly threw her through the game shop window.
>Sasha: Wee! Projectile youth!
>Bakura: Like Gardener is really that strong.
>Skye: In this world, anything impossible is possible.
>Sasha: Sherlock Holmes would have a fit.

Yugi: "Hi Tea, I'm so glad your back home, cause you've been on holiday for four years"

>All: .......................................
>Bakura: Holiday ....
>Sasha: ...for ...
>Marik: .... *four* ....
>Skye: ...YEARS?

Tea: "I know, we were just chilling out"

>Bakura: CHILLING OUT!?
>Sasha: FOR FOUR YEARS?!
>Marik: What the bloody hell?!
>Skye: Guys, calm down! Remember she's the one who said you could feel your child three days after conception?

Christina: "I'M GETTING SICK OF THIS, LET ME GO NOW MAMA"

>Sasha: You know, this would have so much more impact if there were exclamation marks.
>Bakura: *Throws some !!!!!'s about*
>Marik: Where'd you get those?
>Bakura: Sasha's been hoarding the punctuation in a cache under her seat.
>Sasha: Damn you marauding tomb robber.
>Skye: *grabs a ? and a few 's*

Yugi: "Tea, I didn't know you had a daughter"

>Marik: Well she's had 2 by now.
>Skye: I guess she's magical.
>Sasha: "coming down pregnant" and all in that other "Fic".
>Bakura: I need to kill something. *looks around* Damn it, you didn't even furnish this place with some random people that would be perfect fodder?!
>Sasha: *drolly* My bad.

Tea: "Yes I have she's only four"

>Sasha: And she's not one hell of a mouth to boot.
>Skye: Funny how she hasn't even met Bakura yet.
>Bakura: She wouldn't be that wussy if she was with me, I'll tell ya that.
>Marik: Hell, if she's with you, she wouldn't even be alive.
>Bakura: Heh heh. Yeah...

Yugi: "Now she looks very for miller"

>Sasha: *nearly chokes* FOR MILLER?!
>Marik: Who the hell is Miller?
>Skye: If she was going for "familiar" she missed it by a few thousand yards.

Yami walks in front of the game shop.

>Sasha: Woohoo! Pharaoh!
>Bakura: I curse you for cheering for him.
>Sasha: Curse me? With what? The curse of sleeping with Tea?
>Bakura: You little--*tries to strangle her*
>Skye: No, that curse belongs to Marik.
>Marik: Don't bring me into this!

Yami: "That kid reminds me of that tomb robber, cause I could hear her shouting"

>Marik: That Pharaoh, so brilliant.
>Sasha: Well he had his six priests think for him.
>Skye: Heh .. so have you told Seto yet that his High Priest self was the Pharaoh's cousin?
>Sasha: No, not yet. I don't want him having a heart attack.
>Bakura: Jeez, I thought at least Yami would be able to speak properly.

Tea: "So where's the others"

>Sasha: Where ARE the others! Not IS!!
>Marik: Breathe!
>Bakura: They jumped off a cliff.
>Skye: (Tea) "Ok" *does so too*
>Marik: (Christina) *loots the place and runs off*

Yami: "Their in back playing computer games apart from Yami Marik and Yami Bakura who are dueling"

>Skye: Is it a shadow duel?
>Sasha: I hope so. Hehehe ... Bakura with no arm, no stomach and arguing with his wuver Marik.
>Bakura/Marik: *glaring*

Christina: "Mint theirs a duel"

>All: ............................................
>Sasha: ... Mint? ... AHHH! It's MR. BISSOON! *runs*
>Marik: What the hell?
>Skye: That was her grade 7 teacher. He always used to say "mint" in place of "good work". It drove Sasha up the wall.
>Bakura: ... "There" .... not "Their" .... that means they posessed a duel ... and you can't do that.

Christina runs in the back of the shop.

>Marik: Soon finding out there is no back and ran straight into a wall.

Yami: "So Tea, whose Christina's father"

>Sasha: (Tea) Bakura!
>Skye: (Yami) *laughs* Okay, no really.
>Sasha: (Tea) Bakura!
>Skye: (Yami) And you think he loves you, right? ... you do? *laughs*

Yugi: "Yeah that's what I want to know to"

>Marik: Who the fug does it LOOK like is her father you fools?
>Bakura: Remember, everyone in this God-forsaken show apparently don't know how to use their eyes. They see someone who is less than four feet transform into someone scrawny and taller than five foot and don't even notice.
>Sasha: "Too" ... not "to" ... or "two" ... "TOO!!!"
>Skye: Poor Yugi ... afflicted with bad characterization. *Sniff* HAVE YOU NO SOUL, AUTHORESS?!

Tea: "Yami Bakura"

>Bakura: *bangs his head a few more times against the seat in front of him*
>Sasha: *rubs his back* There, there .... it's only fiction.

Yami and Yugi's jaws drop.

>Marik: Literally. And from there on, they couldn't speak anymore.
>Skye: Heh .. it's funny because Tea fell in love with Yami in the manga because of his manly voice.
>Bakura: *nearly dies laughing*
>Sasha: Well at least something's amused him.

Yugi: "Yami Bakura, who would thought he would have a daughter"

>Bakura: Here's the thing, he doesn't know! And he would rather not know!
>Sasha: When you do, I hope she at least lets you go on a homicidal rage.
>Skye: Who are you kidding? She'll probably make him into a sap.
>Bakura: Urge ... to ... destroy ... world ... rising ....
>Marik: Calm down, have some b33r.

To be continued

>All: Aw, crap. -_-;

Well theirs my new fic, Please leave a review, Oh and no flames cause they make me angry and upset.

>All: *nearly die laughing*
>Skye: Angry and upset?
>Marik: *laughing*
>Bakura: *laughing too*
>Sasha: *seething* Well maybe you wouldn't get flames if you could fucking WRITE! Maybe, just maybe if you learned the English language just a little bit you wouldn't get flames! Weaving a not so fucking obvious plot might have a better effect on the populous than this crap! Who the hell do you think you are? How could you not get flames for this crap? Only people as stupid as you are would think this is good! I should come over there and kick your ass with a dictionary!
>Bakura: Should we stop her?
>Marik: Is there an off button?
>Skye: Ah, she'll stop soon. *waves a hand, unconcerned* At least she's not complaining about her own writing.
>Bakura: Jeez, now you'll start her off on that too.

Note: About my rants, it was late at night when I wrote this, hence the redundantcy of some of them. *ahem* That is all.

Malik: (Yay sunflower head) Get your ass back here and work on Millennium Dark!
Sasha: Wai .. but .. but ... *gets whacked with the Rod* Oww ... Okay ... *shuffles off*