Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Musings on V-day ❯ Valentine ( One-Shot )

Warm carpeting is on my back, keeping it warm as I lay under the stairs. Another car pulls in next to mine and I just lay there, my eyes on the bridge. The happy smile of a fluffy haired boy holding hands with an innocent girl. It is so very pretty. She laughs and smirks like a devil that sends him into hysteria. I wish I was her…able to be with him so effortlessly. She is innocent, so very cute…the kind of cute I want to be. Everyone says I am beautiful but it isn't true. I want to be cute because then people think of me as a person not just an object. They think I am all looks no brain. I hate it…I am smarter then they are and they don't seem to get it. When you are cute, you are acknowledged. I want to be her…just be loved by him….

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The bridge is in the moonlight, letting me to see by it. My sister is holding my hand, awing over the simple beauty of the fireflies that she can finally see. Maybe when you can't see them for years…you think they are cool but to me they are no big deal. I like the tiger thing…

The tiger reminds me of her…always alone…branching out when she wants something then going back to solitary. Her blonde hair flutters in the air effortless and the usual smirk on her face as she wipes out another opponent. She is over confident but it is one reason why I love her. She is always right in her beliefs and fights to the end…I want to be more like her…not caring if she is alone…I rely on people too much and she tells me that…I want to be strong like her….not giving into my emotions. That is what I want to be…

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The window whistles my hair, never moving the spikes that are upon my small head. The pond where I sit is shimmering…with the crescent moon hanging onto it as if it was a float that I would gladly jump on. I am too childish in that sort. Everything is a game to me…all fun and no pain. He only allows that for me…he is the dark…strong and silent…while I am the light…immature and people love. They don't love me…they love me because of my power…because he will get even with them. I am the champ because of him…I can't do anything without him…I am helpless. I fear someday he will get sick of me always counting on him and just kill me…taking my life. How can I tell him that I love him? Today is the day that all things good happen for it is Valentine's day but I don't feel happy. WE celebrated like always, letting me switch midway between the kiss with Anzu but it doesn't seem to get that that doesn't make me happy anymore. Only he can.

I throw a stone into the pond and it ripples.

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I see the light on the other side of that same pond which my aibou is staring out. I can see how he shivers and the moistness in his eyes…but I couldn't go there…I have to play the big old mean me…the one who is the local crazy person. The wind is blowing my white hair and my brown eyes are focusing on him. He can't sense my presence…he knows me as evil and when I come out to get even with him for not letting me take over in football. I could murder all those wimps that call themselves football players! He doesn't get that I do care…I love him but he always sees the bad in me though one would think he always saw the good. Yami is off with Anzu…somewhere and Yugi is sitting on the opposite side with Ryou…they speak no words but they have come to a mutual understandment…none needed to talk about the pain they felt.

All I want is to make him stronger, just a normal sparing match that I see Jonouchi, the puppy and Honda do…I don't hit him that hard…in fact I am not trying to hit him but he just doesn't block. Then he goes telling Yugi who sic the big mad Yami on me. Yami and me get into our usual fights. We once took out the street out because of the power generating between us…it was pretty funny. Ryou is the only ones who knows what goes on…we fight, punching then the fun stuff…trying to give painful pleasure…great fun. Yami looks as it for practice with Anzu as I do for Ryou…I hope someday I have that kind of relationship with my hikari…make him scream my name…feel him wither under my touch.

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My oni-chan lifts me onto his shoulders, laughing under his breath so he doesn't look weak. I keep laughing, trying to encourage him to light up, have some fun. He doesn't…his life is with the computer. His girlfriend is the computer which he has wired to sound like a female. Everyone thinks that he is the happiness person in the world…he has the money and any girl who wants him but they don't get it…he has to work for it. He is always looking out for me, making sure I grow up normal, with the usual play toys and food. I hate our father for making him this way. Father wasn't a good word for him…it was more like a tyrant bastard…Oni-chan will get pissed if he heard me use that language. His only love in life is his cards…the sign of his success in light…something he was good at with no work… I think it reminds him of simpler days when he was a child, when he was carefree… I see him sometimes in the middle of the night, lying on the front stair case which are wood, holding his blue-eyes in front of him, cuddling them like a baby…an old friend to him. He doesn't do that to the God…the god is in his deck…he admires its power but it means nothing to him in sedimental value.

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Blue eyes…the same color as my own. They are me as I am them. All power with no forgivingness but in chance…are nice people underneath it all. They say my eyes are of the ice…it's true. It's the icy patch over my heart. Mokuba is the fire that is slowly melting it…but I fear it wouldn't be fast enough to save me. Save me for the emotional death…with my life without love. I can't love…it would interfere with Kaiba Corp. I want to but they all want me for the money….they don't care about who I am…only how much they can inherit from me. I can't trust them…the only people I ever trusted, betrayed me. Maybe someday he'll betray me…defy my guidance and then I will be a failure. A failure in life. God helps me!

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I was something once upon a time…I had good intentions like all the rest of the winners in life but somewhere I failed in it. I am nothing now…been taken from the limelight and is alone. All I wanted was to see her again…I could have done it in such an easier way but that is no fun. Fun is watching your opponent cry in pity as they are sealed…turning their prizes into your own…it's so fun.

My white hair is hanging over my left eye where nothing remains. That was where my eye once was but it got taken twice and now it remains nothing. I see the car, the red convertible that you lay in. The long blonde hair, the prissed lips…you were the runner-up at my little contest…Ms. Mai. You look so much like her…she was softer looking but you would do just fine. Both of you are confident and care about others. I think they all thought you wanted to money for yourself and you did…but for your other self. Your little sister…the one who wanted no one to know about. You keep her in a boarding school so she doesn't have to face Daddy as did you and got beaten…

I see it in your eyes as you stare out at the falling stars that you wanted to be the one that someone adored. I know your little jobs you do to help pay the tuition for her to stay there. I wish I was one of them…you look like you do a nice job on me. You reflect mean but in the mirror I see within my mind…I see your pain, the wish of death. Valentine's Day has that sort of effect on people. You hate being alone…want to cuddle with someone but everyone forgets that we were born alone and we shall die alone…You are always alone even in the crowd of people or in the arms of someone who you love.

What is love? Is it just being friends with someone and caring about them? Is it the make-out sessions that give you pleasure? Isn't it just the natural need of people touching you? Aren't you supposed to care about everyone and love everyone because the world is to be friends? Then why are we always fighting? Why are we never at peace? It is because we need space…space equals alone.

I lost…so much…I cheated…but it was worth it. It has made people's lives nicer but it destroyed mine. I think I deserved it and I hold the sword to my throat and cut straight down the center of the face and down my body. My body is screaming in pain but the pain feels nice. Kind of like being with another guy…pain gives way to pleasure…I think they call this Seppuku…it is fun, ne?

I jump into the salt ocean, throwing off my red suit so the salt can cover my various wounds self-afflicted on times when I needed an escape. Pain is the only way to end the pain and I take the knife and stab myself in the stomach and my body fills with warmth as the blood runs down my body.

Sayonara…

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I shift positions so that I am lying on my stomach so I look at the moonlight and my surrounding. It seems everyone is here…everyone I care about…even that bastard Malik somewhere. I can never forgive him for imprisoning me…but Malik has changed. His light is alive and surprisingly Malik and Yami get along great now that the whole mess with Yami killing Malik's father which wasn't true. Yami Malik, no one knows where he has gone since the defeat of him. Lucky snot…I wanted to kick his ass with my high heels and then borrow some power from one of my Yami friends and paralyze him…hehe…that be so much fun!

We are in lover's lane in the park. We are at the section that overlooks the huge pond and is right next to the ocean where couples are getting it on, stinking up the air. Not a smell I like particularly. A bridge goes over the pond and there is where Jonouchi stands. We did have a chance together…I love him so much but he was chicken. He couldn't admit it…and here I am lying here watching him go around happily with his sister. He was perfect…nice body and very gentleman like…I want to kiss him right now…feel that slight twinge of adrenaline course through my veins and feel his velvet lips against mine…soft but effective. Things that will never be…so I will lay here alone…alone under the stairs…on the supposed romantic night.

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Jonouchi stares out, trying not to look at her but I sense his eyes moving, looking at the alone Mai-san. Mai has done so much for me…encouraging me to get the bandage off…telling me Jonouchi will win. They deserve to be together…but he wouldn't. It's my fault. I made the mistake of telling him that I was in love with her. I was so afraid that he would reject me but he smiled and hugged me, kissing me on the forehead. He told me it was okay and he supported me completely. I was stunned and he winked at me and told me that Mai was a person who it took awhile to love. That is why he pulled back from her…he didn't want to hurt me. I want to be like her so much…she is so confident and a true champion. She carries herself like a lady and even refused a marriage proposal so she could be with Jonouchi but he was stupid but I still love him to death. She is everything I want to be…maybe that is why I love her…maybe it is more of admiration.

"Oni-chan…tell Mai that you love her…" I whisper, staring at his same colored eyes and snuggle my small body next to his warmth.

"That would hurt you," he muttered, stroking my hair.

"When you love someone, you want them happy…Mai, she deserves that happiness…and you are the one she wants it from. I want to see you and her together because that would make you both happy. My happiness means nothing," I say, cheerfully.

He stares at me in surprise and he grins, laughing that familiar grin. He kneels beside me so we are staring directing even.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah…I'll be fine…I'll just find someone to love…" and I laugh, as he is already half way across the distance to Mai. They will both are happy and I will be sad but I'll find happiness tonight, as would Mai…

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My opponent stands in front of me with his brown hair spiked to the front, holding his bouquet of flowers as I hold up mine and flash them. Mine are all roses that I had made from my dice game that I created, one of my finer games, and his are simple flowers, a varying white and blue colored. I laugh at his for they are pathetic compared to mine and he scowls at me.

"Give it up, Honda!" I yell. "The flowers will never get her attention. I have even got chocolate roses mixed in, in a different bouquet."

"Shut up," he whispers and clasps the flowers tighter, letting me hear the sound of his knuckles cracking. "We wouldn't want you to look dirty for her. She is coming…"

I spin around and Shizuka is standing in front of us, dressed in a simple wife-beater shirt that came around her ankles because of it being her brother's and that was it except for her black panties and bra which they could see through the shirt if in the right light.

" Hiya," she yells and both of us jump forward, offering our flowers and she looks confused

"Uh…are these for me?" she asks, ever so innocently and we nod. "Thankies!" she yells and leaps to Honda, hugging him, hanging from his neck then she moves to me and gives me a very feminine hug, very tight and unsure.

"So why are you all here?" she asks, smiling, her long bangs curling around her lips.

"Will you be my valentine?" I ask, before Honda could spit out the words. A kick in the groin area stops me and I kneel over in pain, my dice earrings scraping the grass and kicking up the dirt. Honda smiles evil at me and he spoke, "Shizuka…do you want to be... to go somewhere on a date since it is Valentine's day and you deserve to be with someone."

Shizuka nods and my heart leaves my body and I feel the pain of being rejected. I see a lilac sneaker come within my view with white laces. I follow up the leg and I see a hand reaching down to me and I grab it, smiling at Shizuka.

"Hmm…um…don't take this the wrong way but I love you and all…but Jonouchi…." She didn't need to continue, I knew. Jonouchi hadn't forgiven me for making him put on the puppy costume. Honda was his best pal…Shizuka could go out with him without any worry. Never should had pissed off Yami…I would have gotten the girl…

I nod and Shizuka hugs me, throwing herself into my arms then she locks hands with Honda and they go off, Honda giving me a wink and a nice smirk.

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Her lips brush against mine but I don't feel the passion…I never do! It is one-sided…she loves me, me don't love her. I hate being cruel but this is a game. I am the king of games…me and Bakura have a bet going on who can get their light first. Love is a bad emotion to play around with but this is the only way. I am the strong one…admitting I love yugi…it is weak…being gay is weak. I always had trouble admitting it to myself. It was awful and the one time I did kiss him, it was because he was drunk asleep and I had to know…what I was.

Will they accept me? Is my main question to think of. They wouldn't, Jonouchi is homophobic, I fear but he doesn't mind Shizuka loving Mai? Maybe it was only to guys…

Yugi couldn't be…he loves Anzu…he loves Mai…all girls! He would reject me! I am scared…so scared…I couldn't tell him. Maybe making out with the women he loves might trigger some jealously towards me, giving me attention.

This isn't right…this isn't fair to Anzu.

I pull away and I stare Anzu in the eyes. "Anzu…I been using you…" I whispered, massaging her cheeks with my thumb.

"I know…" she whispers. "I knew it all along…I love you and I wanted you to figure it out. I enjoy it and I was being selfish, not letting you realize your emotions. Maybe if I kept kissing you…you might change your mind and just love me…" and her eyes lowered to tears.

I kiss her eyelids. "I am sorry…" and I hug her one last time.

"Thanks for the fun…" she whispers as I run away…to the pond where I know my light is…

I watch him go…I blew it again but at least he thinks everything is normal…I gave the infamous friendship speech. I hate those speeches…they are so fake of me. They all think that I think that friendship is the solvent of everything wrong in life but it isn't. It makes you sad…sad in the end. You are the happiest and the saddest when you have friends. The good times come but when they break that trust…you cry.

I was played because I was a good friend. I cared about him being happy. They say that if you love someone, then let them be happy. I want him to be with Yugi despite I loving him. I should have been a better friend to Yugi when he told me how he felt about Yami. He confessed he loved him and me being selfish, failed to tell that to Yami! I am a bad friend…

His kisses were nice…too nice in fact. I may never have that again…but at least someone is happy.

"Anzu…" I hear a voice and I turn around and there is Otagi, standing there looking sad.

"What's wrong," I ask, standing up and putting a hand on his shoulder.

"Shizuka…" was his only response and I nod, understanding it. "We're in the same boat," I comment and he smiles at me, his white teeth shimmering against his tan skin and his pale green eyes.

He leans closer and we kiss….same boat as before with Yami but that's life…no one can ever kiss someone who loves them one and only and say the same for their partner.

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The footsteps vibrating into her back alerted her to the nearing figure. The blonde haired girl looked up from where she was and in front of her, stood Jonouchi…looking beautiful with his blond e hair tousled by the wind…fluffy, the way she loved hair and his eyes were the color of chocolate…a color that made her hungry, wanting to taste it.

"Hi," she whispered and he nodded in return, jumping over the door of the red car which had no top half and landing like a klutz he was, landing on top of Mai.

Mai gasped at the sudden weight on her body but it made her happy and her mouth went into a smile, pure.

"So what brings you over here?" she whispered, her breath itching his nose and he fought to keep his mind clear. He kept one of his hands to prop him up so he didn't hurt her.

"I just wanted to see you…" he whispered and he felt Mai grab his wrist and pull him down so his body was completely on hers.

"Don't worry, you are not hurting me…it hurt more when you were away from me," was her response.

"And what did you want to see me about?" she whispered, leaning closer to his lips which were like a red bull-eye in her sight. His arm snuck its way around her shoulders and she felt the fire spreading through her veins.

"Do you want me to answer that?" he whispered and crossed the distance between them, capturing her lips with his own. Her eyes fluttered open as she leaned into it, wrapping her arms around his face, using her thumbs to stroke his temples as she ran her tongue down his lips, savoring the taste of butter popcorn that was there and suddenly she jerked away, her eyes open in fear.

"What's wrong?" he asked immediately, rolling off her so he could look better into her eyes.

"I am not worthy of your affection…" she whispered.

"What do you mean? You are enjoying this as much as me…" Jonouchi asked, snaking his hand around to hold her waist and leaned his head on her shoulder.

"You deserve better…this isn't fair for you to go out with me, a prostitute…" she spit out and her body trembled in tears and Jonouchi kissed the side of her neck, feeling its velvet texture against his lips.

"I don't understand…" he whispered and tilted her chin so she was looking at him.

"I don't like being this way but it's the only way…the only way my sister can end up normal unlike me…I had to drop out of school so I could support her full time. I don't have the education to get a good job and I been doing it since I was …6. You don't deserve someone who will do anything someone wants for a little cash…" and the tears streamed down her face.

"That is why you duel?" he muttered and sat up, leaning over to kiss her eyelids, the color of roses.

Mai sobbed a yes and he held her to him, letting her soak his white wife-beater to the core.

"Mai-chan, I don't care! I love you and I know you love me…we can make this work…"

Mai looked him in the eye, the tears shining in her eyes and a finger working its way from her closed fist and it traced the line of muscles that were shown through the shirt.

"You have a nice body?" she whispered and he gave a whimper as she touched right near his neck. "You have a cut there…" Her hand was on his shirt instant and he felt the soft fabric leave his skin, exposing him to the cold. Mai crawled on him, shielding him from the coldness of the air and she winced at the sight of the dried blood there.

"Your father beat you tonight before you came here?" she whispered, kissing it, licking up the blood which continued to spew out.

"Jonouchi…get in here right now!" yelled a male voice and Jonouchi got up from lying on his bed and pounded down the stairs.

A smack greeted him and he felt the knife against his throat.

"I have had it. You have took out all the candy!" he screeched, slicing between his shoulder blade and his neck.

"Candy doesn't deserve in the hands of a candy addict like you…the one who is drunk right now!" Jonouchi fired out before feeling the knife slice at his body and he ran out of the room and down the street without a shirt on so he could mop up the blood.

Jonouchi nodded and Mai stared at him. "It seems we have some wounds that need healing tonight," she whispered and she climbed off him and lay next to him, fitting her small body into the contours of his. Her head rested on his chest and she could feel the heartbeat that resided there, a calming noise like the sound of a clock going off.

"Hold me…" she whispered and Jonouchi's hands wrapped around her body and they snuggled, using each other as their blanket and they slept that way to the snow falling down from the sky.

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I look over this town…the town I was banished from…I was beaten, sent to a realm where I am no more but I do see this world once in awhile. My sprit needed to go searching…even when you are evil…you want the purity of love. I don't regret the things I did to everyone…but it means I am alone forever and unlike the other holder of the EYE, I have no intention of killing myself. I can't die…the fate that everyone fears in upon me. I see my light walk around and I despise that he got off so easy even though he did most of the horrible things with me! I don't love as the other lights and Yami's do…I despise him. He is weak…having your light as someone you love makes you weaker…now the Pharaoh will remember everything and go psycho. What is your light going to do? Kill you? I would enjoy that…I was punished, as should he!

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Another day in the life of a bandit like myself. It is just a simple day that is designed to make people who are in love more in love and the people who have none…sad. I lost my only love…my dueling. They all think it is so I could beat the Pegasus but that was their mistake. I fight for a different reason…to save myself. I am sick of stealing in order to live; dueling is my way of making something out of myself. Pegasus gets all the honor but we are the same, both cheaters…after a dream which we could have if willing to sacrifice our values…but choosing the path of the cheater to avenge something. Everyone knew he cheated but no…he's the big mighty man while I get disqualified because I cheated. That brat Jonouchi deserved it…he should had been wiped off the face of the arena but he has his little Yugi to back him out. Yugi was someone I'd like to beat along with Kaiba…both strong and fearless. We are of the same heart…it is true, we are all connected. We are duelists…true ones…not like Jonouchi.

I think the reason I hate Jonouchi is because I want his life…having friends and something to care about in life. He gets to play the puppy and gets away with it while when I am the puppy, everyone thinks I am mean. The scarf on my head was my little puppy Bandit's. That was why I took the name. While my mother was getting pregnant every 9 months, Bandit caught me food to eat and gave me warmth and happiness. One of Mother's men shot him because he led the police to where we kept the drugs in our little box home. That is why I am named Bandit Keith…Keith as in my first name and Bandit, after him…he gave me life and so will I. I want to revive him…so there can be other bandits for the other people in the world that need that special something. I can't love…I only loved Bandit and he is gone.

Maybe me and Pegasus are more alike then we all thought. The ocean is the color of the sky now…stormy with traces of red clouds in it.

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I was born to this purpose for one reason…to be the Judge. I am to be alone and even now, though I have lived for eternity, today makes me sad. I realize my mortality and how I will be alone. Some say it but it is the truth. I have wandered for almost a million of years and have yet to find it. I see the souls of people and I know the evil that all possess within themselves. I can't be with evil, therefore I am alone. I know all…I made it my life to keep the items safe but at what cost? I would give up my life as the keeper of them to be normal once…to be in love.

~ Love is a fickle emotion, meant to bring happiness and sadness…how it affects you, no one does know, but it impacts your life… don't take it for granted…~

A/N…this sucked big time but I had to write it…it was an idea which never fully formed, o well. If you want to know about my idea on Mai, read my story Need