Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Nocturne of Wander ❯ One-Shot

"Trust no one."

Victory.

"I'm all I need."

Success.

"I don't need help."

…victory…

"No one is worth my time."

…love…

"…I'm all I need!!"

There comes a point where winning becomes an easy task and one is not inclined toward happiness or negativity when it is achieved. Then it becomes an everyday sort of thing, worthy of only minimal attention. An arrogant gesture, a proud look, an almost imperceptible grin - they come to be commonplace and insignificant, feeling as natural as inspiration.

Eventually, even the environment itself becomes saturated with the stench of familiarity. The position of the mirror, the way the light reflects off the glass and finds its way around the whole of the room - the minute things all became blatantly obvious and irritating, almost as if they were flaring up and dancing with the shadows cast by the curtains.

Seeing the rays of the setting sun and the change of color that infiltrated the room, she felt it was early, early, too early still to be night, and she grew frustrated with waiting. Flicking blonde out of her face and continuing to shuffle the deck of cards she had held for nearly an hour, Mai Kujaku walked across the width of the space, eyebrows lowered and eyes near squinting because of the light. She scarcely bothered to pay attention to her cards' face value. She knew them by heart; there was no need to flit through them like some useless amateur. No, her sole purpose for holding them was one born purely of boredom, the sort of boredom that is only sated when the fingers are performing a menial task that the mind need not focus on.

She stood then, suddenly, and seemed to come to a decision. Decisions were something that came both easily and naturally to Mai Kujaku, and it was that same routine of nothingness that she so longed to break free of. But when one has long lived with little variation in their daily lives, one becomes so fixated with those happenings that it is nearly impossible to induce variety.

She felt that way sometimes. Most times. She felt like her world was falling apart around her, and she needed only to overstep her own boundaries to save it, but she couldn't. She couldn't move for fear of joining the descent, and so she would stand by, simply watching and waiting for her life to hit the ground, to shatter into millions of multifaceted surfaces, to leave her soul naked and bared to the world.

The world she had tried to hide from for so long.

She paused then, in mid-execution of her decisive action, and was aware -- perhaps for the first time in a long time -- that she held her cards. The same cards with which she had won many duels, collected the many purses for those duels, and had spent many years of her young life compiling. The cards had always held a natural allure to her, and perhaps that was why her life seemed so hollow now.

She had lost to Yugi. That shouldn't have changed things, as she truly hadn't lost…she had forfeited, because she knew that he had a better reason to win than she. She who dueled merely for the prizes offered. She who cared for no one and nothing. Except herself.

She was all she had ever needed. She had to be.

After her duel with Yugi, she had taken a step back, and evaluated all her victories before that. She could barely bring herself to say that she had ever enjoyed any of them. Hollow. Empty.

All of them.

Her jacket was nearby, draped over a chair, and that was her next destination. Deftly and without wasted motion, she was beside it, picking it up, and slinging it over her shoulder. She wouldn't wear it, it was still too warm for that, but she might need it later, and Mai Kujaku was the last person who would be caught unawares, by people or elements alike. Not a chance. Not again.

She didn't really know where she was headed, nor why she felt the sudden impulsion to suddenly leave her apartment, but she knew one thing. She knew she couldn't spend one more minute on the nothings that had existed in her life up to this point.

Her boots were where she had left them when she had taken them off the previous day. One was under the dining table, and the other had miraculously made it into the closet. Listlessly, she pulled them on, somehow disgusted with the predictability of her outfit. The only article that differed was her skirt and blouse, the former of which was a rich shade of crimson, the latter of which was a white shirt, a butterfly embroidered on the bottom right side, for she had grown rather fond of butterflies after her 'escapade' within Kaiba's virtual reality game.

Briefly, she mulled over that as well. During her time there…with Jou -- no, with Yugi, she had learned something about herself. Something she had thought to be nonexistent.

She had learned that yes…yes, she did care. And it frightened her.

When they had gone into that maze, and heard that 'princess' scream, Jounouchi had been the first one ready and willing to jump into danger. And jump he had. Vaguely, she could recall her comment at his departure. "Hn. Well, he must realize I'm way out of his league." She had struck a pose and forced a smile, but her feelings were quite the contrary.

She wasn't out of his league, no -- he was out of hers.

Which was why it surprised her so very much to open her door and run smack into him.

She didn't bounce off of him like she might have expected to do, but instead she fell onto him, and they both ended up on the floor amidst a tangle of limbs and scattered game cards.

There were no awkward moments of silence for Mai, though. She was immediately on her feet and bashing Jounouchi over the head with her folded jacket.

"Jou!" She snapped irritably, fisting her hand in his jacket to haul him to his feet. He was wearing a nervous grin, his painfully neon green jacket notwithstanding. He made as if to speak, but words had failed him. Instead, he dropped back to his hands and knees and began gathering her strewn deck, mumbling haphazard apologies as insubstantial as air.

They worked in efficient silence -- or rather, Jou worked in efficient silence; Mai detested it. By the time she had picked up what she could without having to crawl around in the undignified matter that Jou was now subjecting himself to, he had gotten every other card and was standing again, shifting from foot to foot in obvious anxiety.

Why was he--?

"Thanks," she mumbled, taking the proffered deck, brushing past him without further conversation. She could have sworn she felt his hand brush her sleeve, but dismissed it. She was at the top of the stairs to her apartment complex before she felt inclined to turn around, and possibly even say something to him, but something about his posture warned her against words. He was so young, and so…so…unlike her…

Though her place was only two floors off the ground, she almost felt like she had walked enough stairwells to be in hell.

But why--?

It was almost cold enough to warrant her jacket, but even so she didn't quite feel like putting it on. The sun still glittered occasionally through the trees lining her suburban lane, and that was enough for her. Wind was something that could be ignored if needed, and her current need was to move only as little as necessary. Unnecessary movements would have included putting her jacket on, and so she refrained from doing so.

Random questions and answers were popping up before her mind's eye, pestering her insistently, begging and vying for her attention. She spent as little time as possible giving them thought, solving which queries she could and dismissing what she couldn't.

What was he--?

He had probably wanted to duel her. A rematch, perhaps, as their last duel in Kaiba's virtual reality game had been cut short. He had likely just been waiting there, outside her door, steeling his gaming skills to defeat her. Not that he could have. He was too much of an amateur.

But then again… he had almost beaten Yugi.

Yes, but she had almost beaten Yugi as well. His mind had been elsewhere in their duel; it was possible it had been the same with him and Jounouchi.

Why--?

She smiled slightly, curling her fingers in the magenta fabric of her jacket against the wind. The sun had chosen that moment to duck behind some clouds, and the warm, inviting rays had disappeared as though from the face of the planet.

How very fortunate.

For a flicker of a moment, she felt tempted to let herself be exposed to the breeze that would surely bite her fingertips. After all, being sick was not something that happened every day. The discomfort might actually be a blissful break from routine. If she was lucky, her fever might rise high enough to render her incapable of movement for a day -- at the very least, a day -- and she would be able to sleep. In sleep, dreams were never predictable -- surely a nearly-delirious mindset would make them more entertaining, right?

How is that lucky? she scolded herself. Shortly after, she decided not to allow herself said 'luxury' -- It's NOT a luxury! -- and sealed this thought by slipping her arms through the sleeves of her jacket and accomodating it to its usual comfortable resting place. Almost instantly, she congratulated herself on having made the right choice. The last thing she needed was for Jou to come over with hot soup and a thermometer --

She stopped dead in her steps, her facial features set in a fierce glare. Jou would not come over with hot soup and a thermometer. Yugi might -- MIGHT -- but the vastness of the odds showed an evident fact -- no one would show up at her apartment with hot soup and a thermometer.

So why was Jounouchi the first person to pop up in her mind?

Because I just saw the idiot.

…but why a…thermometer?

Quickly, she pushed the mental image of Jou -- then Yugi, and then, for some bizarre, inexplicable reason, a Harpy Lady -- in a frilly white apron with a steaming bowl in one hand, a thermometer in another, out of her mind and forced herself to listen to her half-stomped steps. After all, only friends did that for each other, and she couldn't really say she had friends -- not that she needed them.

No, I don't need them.

So then why was Jou there?

It doesn't matter why he was there.

…maybe Yugi knew…

Yes, surely, Yugi Mutou knew why one of his best friends was at Mai's door. And he would tell her about it, because that was just who he was. Somewhere deep within the confines of herself, a whispered plea made itself known to her consciousness.

I wish I had a friend like that.

After a few minutes of thoughtless pacing, Mai made sure to turn at the corner. She passed numerous stores before reaching Suguroku Mutou's game shop; when she did, she wasted no time in 'mustering up courage' -- she was Mai Kujaku, a young woman who was always sure of herself. So in she walked.

And, lo and behold, Yugi was there, albeit just starting to go up the stairs. He turned his head in the direction of the door and, upon seeing Mai there, went down the few steps he'd climbed and walked until he was a few feet away and in front of her, lifting his head up to smile at her.

"Hello, Mai, how are y--"

"Do you have any knowledge of Jounouchi being outside my apartment door?"

Caught off guard by both the abruptness of the question and the actual question, the boy took a step back, blinking several times as he did so.

"Well…ah…"

"Well, do you?"

It could be said that Mai was blunt whenever she desired, yes, but perhaps it would be more accurate if it were said that Mai was blunt whenever she saw it fit -- or, simply, whenever she felt like being blunt. Of course Yugi knew of Jounouchi's numerous attempts to knock on Mai's door. But it wouldn't be a best friendly thing to tell Mai this. Try as he could, it was impossible to keep a blush from blossoming at his round cheeks; this and his stuttering was clearly not helping him keep the blonde from becoming suspicious.

"You do. I know you do."

"Ah, no, I don't know…"

"Yes you do!"

It was there that his willpower betrayed him and let the brightest of blushes light up most of his face. He quickly turned away, his fingers non-rhythmically beating against one another, and mumbled, "I have to help Grandpa upstairs…" before bowing politely and nearly dashing up the stairs.

Mai blinked twice.

That kid has issues.

But he knew about Jou. And he was blushing about it. That could only mean one thing.

Give me a break!

The obvious answer to Mai was that Jounouchi -- who, she had always thought, wanted to date her -- wanted more than to date her. She whirled to face the door, glaring daggers, her hands shaking fists at her sides.

Pervert!

And she marched outside and retraced her steps back to the building in which she resided. Taking advantage of the fact that her guard was down, Mai's thoughts drifted to the front of her mind, not needing to demand attention to receive it. Her walk, her fruitless attempt at clearing her mind had merely been a break from routine and nothing more. It had been such from the start -- the minute she'd stepped out the door, she'd run into the person she had least wanted to see for at least the rest of the month.

She would never, ever admit to herself that she (May have! she told her thoughts) wanted to see him.

The previously long way seemed to shrink on the return trip, as did the flight of stairs to her floor. Slowing down as she neared the end of the steps, familiarity swept over her, and it almost felt like a helplessness which made her feel desperate. Desperate…for what…?

Because whenever someone goes back along a familiar path, they know everything about the route -- all its secrets, its twists and turns -- and it becomes like a book read a second time: everything is shortened, and all reactions are taken away.

Frowning, Mai opened the door to her apartment and stepped inside, only to slip on something and fall sideways on the floor. Her hip and arm hurt immensely, and, for a brief moment, a lingering thought tainted with dark humor made her grin: she was never usually clumsy -- surely this was an escape from routine.

Quickly, she rose to her feet, locked the door, and scanned the floor for whatever it was that caused her to fall. Almost immediately her gaze came to a white piece of paper and a face-down card. She bent down and picked up both things. The card was a Harpy Lady. The piece of paper was a note from Jounouchi.

"We missed one -- to save you the trouble of waiting to get it, I just left it for you. -Jou"

All the while she had been frowning thoughtfully. Now she frowned somewhat angrily.

"Hmph. Idiot."

She gave a bit of a shiver and her expression changed. The light reflecting off her eyes seemed both scattered and magnified. Absently crumpling the note in her lowered hand, she could not and would not stop herself from mumbling, "You could have waited."

Suddenly mad at herself, she placed the card back into her deck tossed the little note away, not caring where it landed, all things done on the way to her room. She kicked off her boots and shrugged out of her magenta jacket, placed her deck on her bedside table, and let herself fall onto her undone bed. She stared at the ceiling listening to the ridiculously large number of random thoughts floating around her conscious mind until her eyes were tired and closed without her noticing this. The sound of gentle breathing filled the room, a darkness which was not complete because of the city lights that passed through Mai Kujaku's window.

* * * * * * * * * *
Owari.
* * * * * * * * * *

AN:
Written by Chevira Lowe and GataFairy (though it was mostly me ^~). Concept by Chevira Lowe and GataFairy. Characters not owned by Chevira Lowe and/or GataFairy. We are not responsible for any depression caused by the reading of this fic.

…and now I feel warmfuzziness creeping up… *snivel* ^_^;; If you're really REALLY curious, Chevira's gonna be writing a companion Joupiece. So…yeah. ^_^