Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Not a Kid ❯ Chapter 6 ( Chapter 6 )

This chapter will start a little before the end of the last. Confused? What I mean is that I'll try to depict what Yami first saw as he entered the game shop and set his eyes on the transformed Yugi for the first time. So, here we go!

 

 

Chapter 6

 

Walking down the street towards the game shop, Atemu soaked up the last rays of the sinking sun with delight. The warmth reminded him of his once home in Ancient Egypt, when Ra would patrol the clear blue skies. Right now though, the sun was just about ready to kiss the horizon and step aside to make way for the stars and moon.

 

Atemu felt a bit jealous of the night, actually. At least that darkness had its light, the inky black sky was free to protect it in its velvety embrace, meanwhile basking in the soft, warm glow of the stars and moon. He…He didn't have that luxury. Not since…

 

He shook his head with a frown, desperate to get rid of the familiar by now sting behind his eyelids. He hated it, that weakening, selfish desire. Because he knew he was being just that- selfish. He wanted his light, needed him back. He didn't know how much more he could take of his own suffocating darkness. It was getting harder with each passing day to keep the shadows at bay and maintain his already fragile sanity. He had been his anchor to the real world, his candle guiding him home, he…Ra, he couldn't even say his name anymore. And he knew it was all his own fault. He was to blame his light wasn't here now. That's why he knew he was being selfish, because he realized he hadn't performed his duty as yami, guardian and protector and he still wanted his hikari back. Wanted him in his arms, in his possession, to hold, to take care of and to never, ever let go.

 

He continued walking; he was almost at the game shop now. It should still be open, but he fingered the spare keys in his pocket anyway. The game shop. His crimson eyes clouded over in remembrance, though his stride never wavered. He'd memorized the way long ago. So while his body went on its way on autopilot, his mind took a different route, to his hikari's emptied bedroom from five years ago.

 

He was slowly swimming towards consciousness, his mind hazy, his senses dull and his limbs unresponsive. His memories were telling him to pull himself together fast, that there was something important missing, but for the life of him, he couldn't put his finger on the problem.

 

“…mu! Do…u…hear…e…Atem…?!̶ 1;

 

Someone was calling him, but who? The voice sounded familiar and he could tell that it belonged to a man. A man he was supposed to know? Oh, but his mind was still so terribly muddled! And besides, something was telling him he shouldn't leave his hazy state. Something, someone had told him to stay in this dark, peaceful place. And if it was up to him, he'd do just that.

 

But it seemed that whoever was talking to him had other ideas. He could feel them shaking him now and despite his unwilling mind, he could feel his body and senses awakening.

 

“…ow! You…ear me?! Now!...Wake up already!...ease, Atemu!”

 

He could clearly hear the voice now and he wasn't a happy camper. He'd been told to sleep, and he'd been awoken! How dare they?! His hikari had told him to sleep, and now…

 

His eyes suddenly shot open and he sprang up from the bed he'd been lying on, already on the verge of hyperventilating. His hikari! Yugi! He remembered now! Oh, he remembered it all too clearly! He felt a like he was washed away by a massive wave of despair, confusion, anger and longing all at once. The intensity of all those feelings nearly sent him back into the dark void he'd just left. Next came panic and fright. He was terrified! How long had he been out? What if he was too late and his little light was already gone? A part of him (a very small part) still hoped and believed that it had all been a dream, a nightmare, that his Yugi was still here, safe and sound. But a quick check on the mental bond they shared literally squashed that small part. The bond was still there, but it was closed off, barely there to his senses.

 

He looked wildly around the room he was in and noticed Sugoroku sitting on a chair across from him, seemingly relieved, waiting for his panic attack to pass over. He realized that he had been lying on his hikari's bed. Last he remembered, he'd fallen on the ground…after…after the kiss…

 

Atemu groaned and trembled slightly at the memory of Yugi's soft lips on his in a soul-scorching, toe-curling kiss that had shaken his world. He didn't know what to think. What had his light's actions meant? There were so many confusing questions swirling inside his head, he soon felt himself loosing control of his shadow powers, causing every dark corner in the room to writhe and tremble. But he had more important things to do now! He could get his answers later. So, with a tremendous amount of will power, he reigned in his shadows and pushed his distracting feelings to the back of his mind. When he felt calm enough, he looked up and saw Sugoroku still sitting in the same spot, watching his face intently.

 

Sugoroku! The old man had to know where his Yugi was! He was the boy's only family, he was bound to have told him of his plans! Feeling hope return to him, Atemu surged forward and grabbed the startled man's shoulders.

 

“Sugoroku! Sugoroku, quickly!” He was frantic, he knew, and judging by the older man's facial expression, he knew it too “There isn't much time! How long was I out?”

 

“I don't know, Atemu. I came back about an hour ago to find you asleep on Yugi's bed.” He answered, laying a calming hand on the distraught ex-pharaoh's arm “It's dinner time now and I came to get you. You wouldn't wake up though, so I got a bit worried.”

 

“Do you know where Yugi is? Have you seen him?”

 

“No, I'm sorry, Atemu. I haven't. Why? Is something wrong?”

 

At that, the one time ruler of Egypt paled further and dashed out of the room before Sugoroku could say another word. But no matter how many of his friends he got searching with him, no matter where he looked, he couldn't find him. There wasn't a trace as to the whereabouts of his precious hikari, his heart, his soul.

 

And the worst thing was that the entire time he searched, the guilt and self-loathing never left him, but hung over his head, like an ax ready to descend. He remembered that night weeks ago, his light's eyes when he'd called him week, that bitter little smile expressing a strange mix of determination and resignation… And he couldn't help but blame himself. What if he'd been more persistent and made Yugi talk, what if he'd paid more attention, what if he'd noticed the closed link sooner… What if he'd never see his little love again?

 

And when his friends finally gave up the search and dragged him back to the game shop to get some rest, the ancient spirit of the Millenium Puzzle did something he'd never done before. He allowed his despair and guilt to consume him, broke down, and cried.

 

The sound of a tuck horn brought Atemu back to the present and he jumped out of the way of the speeding traffic just in time. He noticed, a bit startled, that while his mind had been wandering, his feet had carried him back to the small game shop. Sighing, he shook his head to clear it of the last of his depressing thoughts and looked at the sky. The sun was halfway sunken in the distance. He honestly didn't know what had brought those memories back. He'd long ago come to terms with the fact that his hikari couldn't be found. The only thing that had kept him going had been the knowledge that Yugi was at the very least alive and well.

 

He was a little surprised to find the door locked, but didn't pay much attention. Sugoroku had probably just been tired and decided to close up earlier. So, he fished his key out of his pants' pocket and opened the door. Distantly he noted the sleek black bike parked on the other side of the street. Atemu pushed open the door and called out:

 

“Grandpa! Why is the shop closed? It's still pretty early.” There was silence “Grandpa?”

 

He didn't get an answer though, and he frowned slightly. Maybe the man was just tired and had decided to go upstairs for some rest. Yes, that was probably it. But he still decided he'd check, just in case. He grabbed some papers he needed to go over later this evening from beside the cash register and headed for the stairs, his heart beating faster and harder with each step he took for some reason.

 

He reached the second floor, but paused and stared at the direction of the kitchen. Some kind of strange feeling was telling him to head that way. He hesitated for a second, but then frowned again and strode purposely to the slightly ajar kitchen door. He could see light now, it was pouring in the dim hallway, and the tug was getting stronger. His heart was by that time thumping wildly in his chest. He was confused and agitated when he reached his destination, though as he finally pushed the door open all the way, none of his inner turmoil was visible on the outside.

 

The first thing he saw was Sugoroku, sitting at the kitchen table, a cup of green tea and some pastries in front of him. The old man was pale and looked ready to bolt. His eyes were even wider than usual and he was clutching his tea cup so tightly, his knuckles had gone white. As strange as Sugoroku's looks and behavior were, Atemu didn't linger on them for long. For beside the old man sat someone he was positive he'd never seen, but caused his right then insanely beating heart to literally stop for a moment.

 

The stranger was just an inch or two shorter than himself, but it was obvious he'd turn heads wherever he went. His eyes caught site of smooth, unblemished skin, only a shade lighter than his own. Sinuous curves and athletic built that were covered in leather tight enough to show off, instead of cover up. His gaze traveled over the narrow hips and lithe waist, lingering on the glint of silver near the pierced belly button, only to continue up to a chiseled chest and torso. The red eyes took in the dip of the slim neck and their owner had to swallow the sudden desire to allow his tongue to follow the same path. Atemu could feel his breath hitch in his throat. Whoever this person was, they were stirring things in him he hadn't felt since his days as pharaoh, when the most gorgeous concubines and pleasure slaves had been at his deck and call, ready to respond to his every whim and fetish. As his eyes traveled further up though, his mind went completely blank. Every blood sell in his body decided to travel south for the season. Pink, full lips, a straight nose and high cheekbones covered by skin that appeared as soft as silk, all framed by wisps of what looked like liquid silver contrasting with the rest of the hair that was as dark as the Shadow realm itself. It all made for a stunning picture on its own, but, oh Ra, those eyes! Those glorious pools of violet specked with grey and silver! They pulled you in them, hypnotized you with their inner glow!

 

He didn't know how long he just stood there and stared. Maybe it was hours, maybe it was but a few seconds. What he did know though, was that this person was oozing sensuality from every pore of his body and it curled and twisted around him, somehow soothing his Shadows and healing his turmoiled mind with his very presence. Everything about him seemed erotic. From the thick, curved lashes to the long, slender fingers that looked like their only purpose was to give pleasure. Atemu had never been aroused this quickly and easily before. He caught himself longing to touch that glowing skin, yearning to caress the sensual curves, aching to lick, kiss, bite, squeeze, thrust…

 

With all the will power he had left in the face of this seductive stranger, Atemu managed to wrench his mind out of the gutter and come back to the now and here. It took him a moment to collect himself and another to remember he wasn't alone in the room.

 

“Grandpa? I didn't know we were having guests.”

 

He was proud his voice didn't waver, but he couldn't force his eyes away from the stranger, who seemed to be having the same trouble since the moment their eyes had locked. Still, something kept nagging at him. As sure as he was that he'd never seen the person before, he somehow felt as if he should know him. He absentmindedly noted Sugoroku nervously clearing his throat, before answering him.

 

“This isn't a guest per say, Atemu…”He trailed off, seemingly not knowing how to continue.

 

But it wasn't necessary, because the familiar stranger chose that moment to move and slowly stood up. And Atemu found himself out of breath again. The person had the grace of a feline, purposeful and confident. His muscles rippled under that incredibly soft looking skin, stretching to accommodate the movement. And the pair of red eyes soaked it all up with startling intensity.

 

It took Atemu a moment to realize he was being spoken to. When he did, he felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end. The voice was low and husky and he found it fit this creature before him that seemed to be created for sinful pleasure perfectly. He was brutally brought out of his delirious high though when the words registered.

 

“Hello, Yami. Long time no see.”

 

That name…That name that was at the same time a definition of his existence…'Yami'…Only one person ever called him that instead of his given name…He felt his eyes widen and hands go lax, as the papers he had forgotten he still had fluttering to the ground, landing at his feet.

 

He didn't care though. He didn't care. All he cared about was…

 

“Yugi…”

 

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On the outside, Kouga remained calm and collected; on the inside though, he was a reeling mess. He'd never considered the kind of impact a simple occurrence like his former name being uttered by Atemu could have on him. Hundreds of distracting thoughts and emotions assaulted his senses. He felt anger; he was Kouga now, not the (by his yami's own words) weak Yugi. Joy; he apparantly hadn't been forgotten in the five years of his absence. Longing; he wanted to be held in those tan arms, drown in his Atemu's musky, spicy scent…

 

How he managed to keep his cool, he didn't know. He was rather proud of himself, actually. Instead of running in his other half's arms, he just looked at him coyly through his thick lashes and smirked slightly. He didn't smile. His real smiles had become so rare and in between, that he seriously doubted he remembered how to perform the simple action nowadays. Not looking away from the still form of the man that had plagued his dreams and thoughts for so long, he sashayed over until he was standing a foot or two away from his yami. He was so nervous, that he did the only thing that he could think of to prevent himself from glomping the man- he firmly pushed the traits that were solely `Yugi' far, far behind, and made sure only `Kouga' remained.

 

“Well, glad to see you haven't forgotten me. Though `Yugi' isn't exactly right anymore.” He stepped a little closer and leaned over until he was sure Atemu could feel his breath on his ear, and whispered, his voice low and husky “It's `Kouga' now, Yami.”

 

He had just enough time to revel in the obvious shiver that wracked Atemu's body, before he was grabbed firmly by the arms and pushed away roughly. He once again locked eyes with his dark and was a bit startled to see the shock and hope in the ruby depths replaced with scorching anger and accusation. The face was still pale, but when the yami spoke, his voice had a dangerous ring to it, like the owner was about to explode at the slightest catalyst.

 

“You were gone. For five years.” More of a statement than a question, really. Kouga bit his lower lip subconsciously “Where? Why?!”

 

Atemu was lost. He couldn't believe that the sensuous person before him was his once innocent little light. The man was obviously anything but innocent. At first he'd been understandably shocked and happy. After all this time, he'd gotten his hikari back! But the moment Yugi had leaned in to whisper in his ear in a decidedly intimate fashion… His previous emotions had been replaced by a blinding, consuming anger. What had his light done to himself?! This was not the Yugi he'd known! His Yugi would never have acted, dressed or talked this way, he was certain. He wanted answers and he wanted them now!

 

Kouga broke free of the arms still holding him and stepped back. From the corner of his eye he noticed his grandfather making a hasty retreat, no doubt understanding the need for privacy. His eyes darkening, he turned his attention back to his now fuming yami. He felt his own anger rising, but managed to keep his cool outwardly. If anything, he hadn't been expecting this reaction, nor did he like it. The time when anyone could demand anything from him was long gone.

 

“Away from here.” His voice was just as low and collected as Atemu's “I told you last time we…talked.”

 

Atemu's eyes flashed dangerously at the reminder of their last meeting, but he made no move to grab for his hikari again.

 

“We didn't talk. You ran away for no reason.”

 

“I gave you your reason. Actually, you gave it to me in the first place. I was weak, remember?”

 

Atemu took a step forward, the anger on his face giving way to guilt. Kouga took a step backwards.

 

“You know perfectly well I didn't mean that, Yugi, how can you…”

 

Kouga cut in sharply.

 

“I told you, it's `Kouga' now. And don't lie to me. I know you meant it, even if you don't want to admit it to yourself. I was weak. You were just the first to voice what we both knew to be true.”

 

Atemu reached out a hand, getting desperate. This was not the way he'd imagined this reunion.

 

“Please, Yu…Kouga, don't…” He didn't know what exactly it was that he was asking his hikari. To forgive him, to stay, to believe him that if he could turn back time, he'd take back everything he'd said or done to upset him… He did know though, that he'd do anything in his power to keep him here, even call him that strange new name, if he had to. After all, a wise pharaoh has to choose his battles carefully.

 

Kouga held out his hand to stop whatever it was Atemu had to say. He hadn't come back to point fingers. He'd come back for a fresh start. Relaxing his features, he spoke softly.

 

“Don't, Yami. I didn't come here to determine who is at fault. The important thing is that I accomplished my goal. I am stronger now. I'm not the same person you once knew.” The overwhelming misery and guilt in those red eyes he loved so much tore at his heart, but he was determined to say what needed to be said, so he pushed on “I'm still your hikari, Atemu. I'm still your light. But you'll find out that you'll have to get to know me all over again. I'm not naïve, nor am I innocent anymore. I never have been. I don't think you've ever known the real me, yami. Whether it was because you didn't want to believe I'm not all purity and childish ignorance or just couldn't see it, I don't know” He reached out and gently caressed his yami's smooth cheek “but I'm giving you a chance to meet the real me. Please, don't disappoint me again, Yami.”

 

Slowly, Atemu lifted his hand and covered the slightly lighter one still on his cheek. He gazed deep into those captivating purple eyes he'd once thought he'd known so well, eyes now flecked with silver and grey, more narrow, but just as beautiful, if not more so. And he saw there a part of himself, of his very soul. He saw a spark of light and purity, shadowed by wisdom that came from having to face the harsh reality of the world on a daily basis, but still there, shining, bright and strong. He saw a flicker of the old Yugi, the person that had come to mean more to him than anything else in the world. And he vowed to himself that he would not repeat the same mistake twice. He would not let his light slip from his grasp a second time. He realized that it wouldn't be easy, that he'd have a lot to come to terms with, but he never was one to give up a challenge. If nothing else, the feelings of fulfillment and rightness that came from his light's touch told him as much.

 

Before he knew what was happening, Kouga found himself gasping for air in his yami's bear hug, his dark's face buried in the crook of his neck and his frantic Ancient Egyptian babbling in his ear. He hesitated for just a moment before returning the embrace just as fiercely, wrapping his arms around the strong shoulder amidst the never ending apologies and other incoherent nonsense without uttering a word himself. He hadn't opened their link yet, and he wasn't sure when he would, but he didn't need a mental connection with his other to know that despite his initial reaction from just a few minutes ago, Atemu was deliriously happy and relived to have him back. Kouga himself knew that their relationship was far from what it once had been, but was pleased with how things were going so far, despite the bumpy start. He doubted Atemu realized just how much he'd changed and the debths to which this change reached, but he hoped that when he did, he wouldn't be disappointed in his dark.

 

Several minutes (or hours, neither men were entirely sure) later, the initial shock of their meeting had worn off and given way to a slightly uncomfortable silence. They were now seated at the kitchen counter, Kouga in his previous seat and Atemu in Sugoroku's. There was tension in the air now, neither of them were sure where to begin. Five years of separation couldn't be erased with just a few apologies and endearments, after all. Both avoided looking at the other for long, instead settling for sneaking glances at one another from time to time. Finally, Atemu couldn't handle it anymore and decided to break the silence. They had to start talking at some point.

 

“I tried to look for you.” He couldn't help the tiny amount of accusation that leaked into that statement.

 

Kouga looked at him at that and again Atemu found himself lost into those stormy pools of violet.

 

“I know.” Was the quite reply.

 

“But I couldn't find you.” The read eyes met the purple ones and the latter turned away at the formers' intensity.

 

“I know.” Came the even more quite answer.

 

Atemu squeezed his tea cup a little tighter, his face darkening. They were dancing around the subject and he didn't like it. Even if it was his fault Yugi had left, he still wanted to know where his hikari had been for all of those years. There were so many questions, and no answers…

 

“Yugi…” Kouga looked up sharply at the mention of his old name, but let this one slide. He didn't want to get into another argument. “Yugi, don't do this. Where were you?”

 

`So,' thought Kouga. `going straight for the kill, are we?'

 

Aloud, he said:

 

“You couldn't find me because I wasn't in Japan, obviously. You may have once had the entire known world and its resources at your disposal, Yami, but nowadays…It's pretty easy for someone to disappear and hide, even from you.” Taking a sip from his tea, Kouga looked straight at his dark and muttered “I was in the U.S.A Yami. On another continent altogether. No wonder you couldn't find me.”

 

He noted that Atemu was now holding his cup so tightly, his knuckles had turned white. After a momen's silence, the yami spoke up again.

 

“And the link?” His voice was slightly hoarse and strained, as if he was barely restraining himself “Why was it closed?”

 

Kouga hummed a bit and smiled a bitter little smile.

 

“I couldn't have you using it to track me now, could I? Not before I was ready in any case. I still left enough of it for you to know I was safe and sound though. You just wouldn't be able to get anything more specific out of it.”

 

Atemu looked down again at this and muttered, more to himself than to anyone else.

 

“That's what kept me going.” At Kouga's curious look, he clarified “Knowing that you were at least alive and well. It's what kept me sane all those years.”

 

At this the tension-filled silence returned. After a few more minutes, Atemu asked something that had been on his mind ever since the initial shock of his hikari's disappearance had worn off.

 

“Who, though?” Kouga tilted his head at this, silently urging him to clarify “Who helped you? I'm vaguely aware of how much it takes to create a new identity as you've obviously done, and I doubt you could have done it alone. Who helped you?”

 

Kouga frowned slightly at the underestimation of his abilities, even if back then it had been true. He wouldn't have been able to disappear so thoroughly on his own even if he could do it now. But he still didn't like it that Atemu was so sure of his deductions. No matter, he wasn't going to tell on Seto, the man had done a lot for him and he wasn't about to set an angry (very lightly said) yami with Shadow monsters at his disposal on him. So he remained silent, sipping his tea and returning his dark's piercing stare.

 

After a while it seemed that Atemu understood he wasn't about to get an answer and thought it wise to change the subject.

 

“Alright then, can you at least tell me what you've been doing all of this time?” There, that seemed like a safe enough topic.

 

At this, Kouga smirked. He could answer that one. Sort of.

 

“Actually, I thought it best if I showed you, instead of telling you. It would be ever so much fun!”

 

Atemu waited, staring at him, but when his hikari did nothing more than take another sip of his tea, he raised an eyebrow and asked, his voice betraying his confusion.

 

“Well? I thought you were going to show me?” He was confused, was Yugi playing tricks on him?

 

“Oh, I couldn't possibly show you here!” The eyebrow rose higher “Hold on a second.” He put his tea cup on the counter and slid his hand to the back pocket of his pants. His back arched a little in the process as he wriggled his fingers in the tight material. Atemu's ruby-red eyes glazed over a bit and that didn't go unnoticed by Kouga. With a wicked little smirk, he pulled out a small envelope and handed it over, breaking his dark from his trance-like state.

 

“What is this?” Asked the confused yami, fingering the envelope, the light flush on his cheeks still present.

 

“Don't open it until after I've left. Just know that I want you to come.”

 

But Atemu wasn't satisfied.

 

“Can't you tell me anything?” He asked, his patience running thin.

 

“Well,” Kouga hesitated “ I can tell you that I grew up, in a way. I wasn't a kid when I left in the first place, but I met some people, learned some things…Generally, I finished the process.”

 

He could tell his yami wasn't satisfied with the answer, but that was all he was giving away for now. He didn't want to completely terrify his poor dark and he knew that was exactly what would happen if he told him of the wild nights (and early mornings) he'd spent back in Miami at this point. He'd let him find the clues by himself, over time. After all, Kouga knew perfectly well how much his pharaoh loved riddles and games. He could already see the familiar spark of an accepted challenge burning in the red eyes.

 

Sighing, Kouga stood up and grabbed his jacket.

 

“It's getting late, I have to go. It's been a long day and I have to get up early tomorrow.” It wasn't a complete lie. It had been a tiring day, what with all the bitching from Jonathan for breakfast, a moody Seto Kaiba and hyper Mokuba for lunch, and emo-filled few hours with Atemu for dinner. It was also true that he had to get up early in the morning (perfect concerts didn't just make themselves, you know!). He just let out that if he didn't leave now, his yami was in danger of being tackled and raped. Gently, of course.

 

“What? I thought you were staying here!” Atemu sounded genuinely surprised.

 

Kouga froze for a second, but regained his control and spoke, his voice calm and cool, not giving away any of his inner thoughts.

 

“You thought wrong. Let's not kid ourselves, Yami. Our relationship is nothing like it once was. Heck, I don't even know if it will ever go back to the way it was. There's too much you don't yet realize about me. I wouldn't feel comfortable staying here.”

 

He threw on his jacket and paused at the kitchen door.

 

“I'll see myself out.” In a slightly softer voice, he continued “Open the envelope once I've left. If you decide to come, you'll get some of the answers you're looking for, even if you don't like all of them. Think of it as a game.”

 

And he left.

 

Atemu didn't move from his place at the kitchen counter, too stunned for words. He stood there, gazing at his now cold tea with unseeing red eyes, the envelope Yugi had left next to his still hands. Only when he heard the sound of an engine from the outside did he move. He walked over to the window and peered out, noting the now familiar willowy form astride the sleek black bike he'd noticed earlier.

 

`Hm, at least I know we don't have any new neighbors.' He mused distantly.

 

Long after that he stood staring at the night sky with its shining stars, thinking of the questions he'd never gotten around to asking. Questions like had that kiss from five years ago meant as much to the light as it had to the dark? Had it meant anything at all?

 

 

Author's Notes:

I am SO sorry for the long delay. It's been REAL hectic here. We had death in the family, my computer broke down (twice!), and my mother had to go through a pretty dangerous surgery. Not to mention all the exams I have hanging on my head. So, sorry about the long wait. I did what I could and hope you liked the chapter. Feel free to review!

 

Disclaimer:

I DO NOT own Yu Gi Oh!