Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Not Again ❯ Suicide ( Chapter 1 )

Xpyne: Hey everybody, guess what? I wrote a story all by myself.

Solitaire: Which I typed, and also provided with some much-needed editing.

Xpyne: ::sticks out tongue:: Heehee, yeah, thanks, Soli... I despise typing.

Solitaire: Even though we really wanted to wait until this was finished before posting, I insisted. I wanted to post something NOW, because it's my birthday!

Xpyne: Yeah! Soli's 18. Scary, huh?

Solitaire: Yeah, well, I don't feel 18. And if you could've seen me watching Yugioh this morning, it's obvious I don't exactly act like it, either.

Yami/Yugi/Seto/Joey: Happy birthday!

Solitaire: ::sniffs:: I feel so loved. I didn't even have to threaten you guys.

Everyone: O_o`

Xpyne: ::whispering:: You guys? Don't tell her I paid you.

Seto: Psh. I don't need money.

Yugi: Yeah, you just let her bribe you with sex.

Seto: ::sweatdrops::

Xpyne: ANYway, I swear this story is (you're not going to believe me at first) comedy!

Yugi: If anybody can pull off angst and humor in the same scene, it's you, Xpyne.

Joey: ::cough::Suck up::cough::

Solitaire: Joey, you're just bitter because you only have a bit part.

Xpyne: What are you talking about? Joey was my inspiration for this story.

Joey: Really??

Xpyne: No.

Solitaire: But his bizarre behavior is based on Xpyne's best friend (not me, her other best friend). ::glares at Xpyne jealously::

Xpyne: Who we will code name 'Starfix'.

Solitaire: Yeah, whatever. No on cares, least of all, me.

Xpyne: Sorry if I Mary Sue'd this a little; basically, Yugi acts like me, and Joey acts like Starfix. You'll get it later. So...when you're feeling sorry for Yami, that's what poor Soli has to go through. Warnings: momentary angst, good gay fun, lots of really good "bad ideas" (don't let you're chil'un read this, folks).

Solitaire: It's not that bad...yet.

Xpyne: Okay okay, on with the story. ::elbows Joey::

Joey: Xpyne and Solitaire do not own anything in this story, except for the bad characterization and 'Abarth'. Don't ask. But don't be scared off-- Read this, damnit! I swear, it's good! ::looks around nervously::

Solitaire: Ooooo-kaaay... I think I need to go work on your scene where you realize you like Ryou in Return of the Demon.

Yami: ::smacks hand to forehead and sighs:: Just freakin' start it, already!

__________________________________

Not Again

by Xpyne

Chapter 1: Suicide

Yami sensed something was wrong.

"Yugi?" No answer. "Yugi?!" \\ Where is he? \\ Yami wandered through the shop, anxiety rising. A feeling of dread swept over him. \\ Yugi! \\ he tried mentally. Yami heard muffled coughing and choking coming from upstairs. He ran up to the room that he and his light shared. The door was locked. He pounded on it.

"Yugi? Let me in! What are you-- What are you doing?!" he demanded, pressing his body against the door, as if he could pass through it if he tried hard enough. He pounded again. "Answer me!" There was a pause.

"You can't stop me! It--" Yami broke down the door. "It's already done." Yami ran to Yugi's side in horror as his love collapsed onto the floor, empty tube slipping from his small fingers. The dark one gathered the boy in his arms and picked up the tube in shock. The floor was littered with them.

"You--you ate all of these??" he said softly, his voice low and terrified. The petite boy nodded weakly. His immense violet eyes were shiny and detached, pupils dilated.

"No!" Yami hugged Yugi fiercely. "No! How could you--?" The small one twitched and murmured quietly.

"It was Joey's idea." Yami lifted his head to notice the taller blonde perched on their bed for the first time.

"You!" he growled. "You pushed him to this, and now you're going to pay for it!" But then his crimson eyes spotted a similar tube clenched in Joey's hand. A similarly empty tube.

"By the gods..." Joey's eyes were wild and large as he laughed maniacally, shaking.

"Yer too late, Yami! We both had 'em!" he snickered, tears running down his cheeks.

"...Yami?" Yugi voiced, panting. His deep purple orbs forced themselves on the pharaoh. "I think--I think it's starting to take effect now." Yami's stomach dropped. Fear seeped through his features. Unnoticed by either, Joey fell off the bed.

"Are you sure, aibou?" A slow smile crept over Yugi's lips. He began grinning like crazy and shaking. He leapt to his feet.

"Hell yeah! Sugar high!!!!" he cheered and ran over to his best friend, who was on the floor, cracking up for no apparent reason. Yugi pulled the larger boy to his feet and they began jumping around in circles, jabbering at 300 miles an hour.

"Heeheeheeheehee-- Whadda ya wanna do? Heeheeheehee."

"Idunnohowboutyou?Lookatthecolors!"

"Heeheehee--never seen dat one before-heeheehee!"

"Hahahaheeheeha-yeah, let's name it!"

The two ceased their jumping for a moment to stare intently at a black pen. Yugi kept twitching and Joey's hand shook as he reached out and picked up the object.

"How about--heeheehee--pink?"

"Hahahee--no stupid that'salreadyacolor."

"Okay den, heehe, you name it, hot shot, hehe."

"Abarth! Heeheehahaha!" Joey dropped the pen and looked up spicily.

"...Cooool..." he nodded very slowly. "...Abarth..."

Yami cradled his head in his hands from where he still knelt on the floor. \\ Oh Ra, what did I do to deserve *this*? \\ He sighed.

"LetsgototheparkRIGHTNOWokay?Comeon!"

"RIGHTNOWAlright!"

Yami's head shot up. \\ What?? \\

"No!" he cried, but it was too late. The pair had already streaked by him and were halfway through the shop. He scrambled to his feet and ran after them.

\\ I curse the man who invented Jumbo Pixy Stix!!! \\

~***suGARsugaRSUGArsUGArSuGARsugarSugASUgarSuaRsUGArSUgarsUGar***~

Seto picked up the empty box of "Lucky Charms Limited Edition: Marshmallows Only!" cereal. <Huh? Where did this come from?> He glanced around his kitchen. Whoever had eaten this made a mess. There were little hearts, stars, and horseshoes all over the floor and table, splotchy milk spills as well.

"Mokuba?!? Anabel!?!" he yelled for his brother an the boy's babysitter. A black and red blue streaked into the room, haggard young woman in tow, a blue cord connecting them. Seto's eyes widened in surprise.

"Mokuba?" The small one ran into a cabinet and bounced off, heading in another direction until he hit a different obstacle and continued in a third direction. Kaiba narrowed his ice blue eyes. "What is wrong with him and why is he on a leash?" Said boy's head snapped up, revealing clovers and little pots of gold plastered to his face. He grinned evilly.

"Seto!BigbrotherhowareyounicetoseeyouhomefromworkearlytodaycanIhaveanew shoe?"

It took the older boy a moment to decipher what had just been fired at him. He turned to Anabel.

"I'm so sorry, sir, but it's the cereal!" She pointed at the box in his hand accusingly. "He said you always let him get it-- He's so hyper Phil Collins couldn't get him to calm down!" She shoved the end of the kid leash into his hands. She pushed back her messy hair with one ripped sleeved arm.

"You take him, I'm out of here!" As she rushed out of the kitchen, she called back, "Don't bother asking me too come again!! You can't pay me to do this once more!!" And with that she was gone.

Seto looked down at his brother, who was straining against the chest straps of his leash, attempting to run across the room.

<Where'd she get a leash??>

"Alright, Mokuba. Mokuba? Mokuba? Mokuba!!!" He grabbed his little brother to get his attention. "Will you calm down please?"

"CalmdownsurethingwhatifIrodeinsideagiantplasticbubbledownahillcanIdoth atpleaseIlikemarshmallowsandwhatareyoulookingatbigbrotherlet'sgetmorecereal !!" A wet rainbow fell off his cheek.

"I don't think so." Mokuba darted suddenly and bee lined out of the room. Seto was yanked along as the leash end was still wrapped around his wrist.

"Ahh! Mokuba!!" The hyperactive sugar state was making him abnormally strong, and he was practically dragging his taller brother through the mansion.

"That's it, young man! I'm taking you outside, where you can blow off some energy, and then we're going to have a nice, long talk about lying to babysitters!" He grunted at the effort of hauling his bouncing brother through the front door and was grateful for the leash, wherever it had come from. He had to jog to keep up with Mokuba, who was running and jumping around in a roundabout path that was somewhat leading in the direction of the park. When they finally arrived, Seto exhaustedly let go of the leash and plopped down under a shady tree, watching his charge's spastic retreat towards the park equipment. He sighed. He glared at the little black haired boy across the field.

<He is so grounded for this.> A deep, sensual, and very exasperated voice interrupted Kaiba's thoughts.

"I am going to commit suicide. I can't take it anymore!"

Seto's blood froze as he recognized the voice. <Yami???> He jumped to his feet and glanced around. He spotted his multi-colored hair rival some yards away, standing on the edge of a rock that dropped off through the trees. Yami leaned forward and stepped off the ledge.

"NOOO!!!" Seto screamed, running to the ledge. He stumbled, and barely managed to stop at the drop. He looked down into Yami's confused crimson eyes, which were mere feet below him.

"Uh, hi Kaiba." Seto blushed.

"I--I thought you committed suicide. The edge looked a lot, um, higher from over there." He motioned to where he had been sitting.

"Oh. Well, I'm close to it, if you care."

"I don't!" he growled. "Other than the fact I'd be losing my greatest opponent, of course." Yami frowned. Seto twitched.

"Uh--why are you close to suicide?" He bit his lip worriedly, unable to look unconcerned as he attempted miserably to be casual. Yami laughed.

"It's Yugi and Joey. Every damn month they go to the American candy shop and buy giant Pixy Stix together. Then they come home, and I have to deal with it." Seto looked confused.

"What's a 'pixy stick'?"

Out of nowhere, blonde, black and red launched itself at Seto, knocking him off his feet, followed closely by Joey, who was laughing hysterically. Yugi was squirming and wrestling Kaiba, smacking him with tiny fists and cackling maniacally.

"Artificial flavoring and super-sugar," Yami replied in a bored tone. Seto looked shocked, as Yugi laughed his head off attempting to beat him up. His short legs were wrapped around Kaiba's waist and he was sweating as he pummeled Seto's arms that were shielding him.

"OW! Why is he--ow--hitting me?" Yami shrugged.

"My angel is a little high-strung normally. On Pixy Stix, he's insane." Seto snatched Yugi's wrists and pinned his arms to his small sides. His laughter stopped abruptly. His glazed plum eyes blinked. "Uh, it's not a good idea to restrain him. Better to let his work it off." Seto frowned.

"He's fine, now." Yugi began to quiver and twitch. "Um, maybe not." He let go of the petite boy, but he only fell over on top of Seto's chest and lay there, shaking, while Joey giggled and rolled contentedly in circles on the grass.

"Look what you did!" Yami sighed. "Now that's just creepy." Kaiba looked terrified.

"He's okay, right?" Yami nodded. As much as he was enjoying the sensation of the boy wriggling against him, Yugi's mental state didn't appear healthy.

"Give him a minute." Sure enough, about ten seconds of mindless rocking later, Yugi jumped up and ran off.

"Yami! Seto! Joey! Look what I can do!!" he hollered. Seto propped himself up on his elbows, and Joey sat up. Yami raised an eyebrow. \\ He had better not moon me again...Kaiba's here! \\

Grinning like an idiot, Yugi did a handstand.

"COOL!" Joey shouted. Kaiba stared, looking confused. A strange emotion passed over him as Yugi's shirt slipped up, revealing his thin chest. <...Lust??>

Yugi fell over and sat up, grinning, cheeks red from the blood that'd rushed to his head.

"That was so--" Joey seemed to forget what he'd been about to say. "Uh, hey! Look what I got!" he giggled. Smiling slyly, he drew a black pen out from behind his back. Yugi's eyes widened and he gaped.

"Abrath!!" he shouted gleefully.

"I thought it was 'Abarth.'" Yami commented, rolling his eyes. Yugi and Joey ignored him, snickering randomly.

"Huh?" Seto glanced at Yami.

"Don't ask."

Joey was waving the pen back and forth, and Yugi's eyes were tracking it sharply.

"Give me the pen, Joey," Yugi commanded.

"You heehee want it? Heeheehee. Go get it! heehee!" Joey threw the pen over his shoulder. Yugi was up in a flash and dove after it.

\\ Uh oh. \\

The pen landed on Seto Kaiba's crotch, and Yugi's hands followed it.

"Ahhh-hh!!" Seto cried out and curled up as the small boy's grabby hands squeezed his member. <Oh my god--! Oh god!> The billionaire moaned, and Yami, horrified, yanked his hikari off the other.

"Yugi!" he admonished the struggling teen in his arms. He glanced down, distressed. "Are you okay, Kaiba?" he asked uncertainly. Kaiba's eyes were wide and he was holding himself. \\ Oh crap. You hurt him, Yugi! \\

\ HuhWhaddIdo?? \

\\ You hurt Seto's dick. \\

\ What?HowdIdothatnoIdidn'tdon'tmakeupstuffYamitisn'tnice. \

<Oh crap. Yugi touched me. And now I have an erection. Shit. Can they tell??>\\

Yugi squirmed out of Yami's arms and took off with Joey.

"Kaiba?" Yami knelt beside the taller brunette. He placed a hand awkwardly on Seto's shoulder. "I am so sorry. When Yugi snaps out of it and realizes--" Yami paled. \\ Great. Aibou will be so embarrassed he won't come out of the puzzle for a week. \\ "--and realizes what he's done..."

"I'm okay. Really," he managed. Oh, the torture. He concentrated on getting his loins to listen to him.

\\ Gods, he looks hot right now... \\

\ Who lookshotright now?! \ Yugi, a distance away, looked back at Yami as he ran.

\\ No one. \\

\ Are you cheating on me with Anzu?! \

\\ No! Hell no. What's wrong with you?? Oh yeah. Sugar. \\

\ Good, cuz I-- \

::SMACK::

"Ow!!"

"Owww!!" Yugi had run into Mokuba, and both were sprawled out on the grass holding their heads.

"Yugi!" Yami abandoned Kaiba and ran over to his light. He helped him sit up. "Are you okay?"

"Yessss..." he shook his head slightly. Suddenly he looked up, clarity entering his violet eyes. "Oh my god. I grabbed Kaiba's d--" Yami clamped his hand over Yugi's mouth as Mokuba sat up.

"My head hurts! And so does my stomach!" he whimpered. Seto, who'd managed to get up and jog over, knelt by his brother.

"Little brother! Are you okay?"

Joey puked. Everyone stared at him. Then Mokuba puked. Then Yugi just passed out.

~***suGARsugaRSUGArsUGArSuGARsugarSugASUgarSuaRsUGArSUgarsUGar***~

Xpyne: Buwahahahaha! See, that wasn't that bad. Yeah, yeah, there probably would've been less fluff if Soli wrote half of it. We work well together. ^_^

Solitaire: @__@ Oh my gosh, was that a compliment?!

Xpyne: Okay people, if you want to know what happens next, you have to review. I'm greedy and holding out for ten.

Solitaire: Yeah, we've noticed that even bad stories get lots of reviews if the author begs for them enough. I'm still really pissed that all 42 reviews from Return of the Demon are GONE!! Bastards...

Xpyne: Yeah, so you don't get to find out what happens unless I get ten reviews. Heehee. I love sugar.

Yugi: I'm okay, right…?

Xpyne: You'll just have to wait and see. Feel free to tell me if it sucks, or if it wasn't funny at all, which I was trying to be... Yeah, I'll, uh, just go off and cry.

Yugi: ::pets Xpyne's head as he gives the audience a warning look:: Be kind.

Yami: Or flame. It's funny when she gets all worked up.

Solitaire: ::shakes head sadly at Yugi:: Your poor pancreas.