Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Numb ❯ Chapter 1

 

Heyaz guys! FFnet doesn't like songfics so I'm posting it here ^^. This is a fic where the char gets fed up of being Seto's girlfriend because of his more... worse qualities and leaves. Now the char that is in first person is based on my char but you can pretend its yourself for the hell of it. The lyrics are incidentally 'Numb' from Linkin Park. There's also going to be two one shot songfic sequels as well. Hope ya'll enjoy

 

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I sighed as I looked up at the great looming building of KaibaCorp, feeling very depressed on being here. I didn't want to go in there... I didn't want to go up to his office... I didn't want him to look at me with those cold eyes of his... I didn't want him to talk to me, touch me, carress me or anything! But I couldn't escape... I never could...

 

However, if I didn't go in there he would get angry, hunt me down after his work and yell at me, beat me, force himself onto me. I shuddered as I pulled up one of my sweater sleeves to look disdainfully at the blue and black bruises he left when he gripped my arm tightly last night when I tried to leave him after an arguement. There were slight scar marks too thanks to how deeply he dug his nails into me.

 

And to think the bastard loved me... I don't even know WHY I bloody well fell for the fucked up asshole. Sure in the beginning I fell for his looks and his attitude but then I fell for much more... his personality... the way he cares for his brother... his passion of duelling... how he can maintain a company been still a young adult... what he went through as a child and much more.

 

I didn't even know why he fell for me. I was somewhat attractive but not as gorgeous as some other girls were in our school. Yet they were the rich bitches that I guess would annoy him everyday. Needless to say, I can't blame him if he hated them. So did I.

 

Just one day he came up to me and we talked about stuff. I don't know why he even talked to me since I was more of the silent, friendlier people that I know he usually ignores but he talked to me anyway.

 

And for some reason he kept talking to me every day for at least a good two weeks before he finally asked if I wanted to be his girlfriend. It was a dream come true to me! Like some kind of fantasy I always wanted. Oh was I in heaven then!

 

The first few days went ok I guess. His unusual niceness was still there but each passing day it seemed to fade more and more until finally he became his more ruthless self that everyone is accustomed too.

 

I thought he may of been tricking me, playing a hoax but when I tried to 'break up' with him he became vicious, saying no one can turn his back on him and said that I was what he 'wanted' and that he wouldn't let me leave, ever.

 

Every day I was forced to go see him. Every day I was forced to spend time with him. Its not like I was going to be missed at home anyway, seeing as I had no one to wait for me...

 

I glanced at the time. Shit. I better get up there now before he bitches at me for being late or him jumping to the conclusion that I wasn't going to see him.

 

As I made my way inside the grand corporation I passed by the receptionist's desk, the middle aged woman there not stopping my actions of going further into the building. She knew who I was, everyone in this company knew I was. I was one of Seto Kaiba's pawns... one of his toys... something that shouldn't be touched... except by him...

 

I'm tired of being what you want me to be

Feeling so faithless

Lost under the surface...

 

It seemed he wanted me to be a certain perfect... like his perfect counterpart. He didn't seem to like who I was, who the REAL me is... he told me once that he only used my original personality to gain my trust into being with him... he told me he chose me for he knew I had more potential and that I was perfect for him... yet right now I wasn't... too weak he said... too opiniated he said... too friendly he said... too everything...

 

I couldn't even be me around my friends. He'd watch me like a hawk, even in school. My friends knew what pain I was going through but knew not to mention it to Kaiba... knowing how he'd react... I didn't want them too either... I didn't need anyone who I cherish to be hurt...

 

I don't know what you're expecting of me

Put under the pressure

Of walking in your shoes...

 

I sighed miserably as I pressd the button to the elevator, the silver metalic doors sliding open for me to enter, to which I did before they closed behind me.

 

I don't know what he'll achieve from this, turning me into what he wanted. Does he want a trophy wife? Something to put on display so that others will admire and want it but never have it?

 

He was nearly killing me with all this stress! As if school was enough, I now need this?! I'm not him! I never ever wanted to be him! Be with him, yes, but not actually play the role of a CEO!

 

Caught in the undertow

Just caught in the undertow...

 

I'm being pulled under the surface of freedom and now I dwell under his dominion of power... I can't get free...

 

Every step that I take

Is another mistake to you...

 

Why is everything I do wrong for him? The way I eat, the way I talk, the way I walk, the way I laugh, the way I cry... EVERYTHING! I can't change over night! I am who I am! And yet look at Mokuba! I love the kid and all but he's not exactly perfect either but Seto leaves him be! But why me?! Why do I have to be his shadow, his every move... his EVERYTHING?!

 

Caught in the undertow

Just caught in the undertow...

 

I rested my head against the elevator wall as I closed my eyes tightly, holding the tears that threatened to fall tightly behind my eyelids. I can't take it... I just can't...

 

I've become so numb

I can't feel you there

Become so tired

So much more aware

I'm becoming this

All I want to do

Is be more like me

And be less like you...

 

For the past while, when Seto ever came up to me, touching me or doing whatever I seem to have lost feeling to it, not even realising when he comes up behind me or speaks to me.

 

I become more weak every passing moment by being with him. I'm realising what's hapening to me, for whether I like it or not I'm slowly becoming what he wants and yet I hate it.

 

The elevator finally reached the floor to which Seto's office was at and I stepped out as the doors slid open. I quietly walked down various hallways, finally coming to one which lead to large mahongany doors.

 

His secretary which sitting outside of his office, typing at her computer looked up and noticed me, giving me a sympathetic smile. I sometimes talked with her when Seto went off to do something. She too knew of my pains and my sufferings but said nothing of them. Nobody could save me from him... not even myself...

 

“You better get in there... I think he'll blow a fuse if he doesn't see you”she advised. I nodded, shuddering at the thought before quietly opening the doors, stepping in and then closing them behind me.

 

“If you came at least one more minute later you would have been in serious trouble” came his dark cold voice. I slowly lifted my eyes to meet his intense gaze, lowering my eyes to the floor there after.

 

“Sorry” I said quietly.

 

“Sorry isn't enough!” he snapped as I could sense he stood up and walked over to me swiftly. I backed up slightly, resting back against the doors.

 

“Tardiness I never tolerate! Never! And look at me to when I'm talking to you! Why do you have to be so weak and pathetic?!” he snarled.

 

I decided to remain silent at this. Like I usually did... of course he never liked meekness but whenever he was in a bad mood it seemed to please him.

 

His hand shot out and gripped my chin tightly, lifting it up so I'd meet his intense gaze. He looked down into my eyes for a moment before leaning forward and kissing me roughly. His tongue forced its way into my mouth as I tried to jerk free but he used his other arm to press me to him tightly, keeping my arms pinned to my sides.

 

Can't you see that you're smothering me

Holding too tightly

Afraid to lose control...

 

The way he was always near me choked me to the point I couldn't breathe. Whenever I was with him he'd never let me out of his sight, always being trapped within arms, never to find a way to escape from him... it was killing me...

 

It was like I was a dog on a short leash that was getting shorter still to the point I wouldn't be able to breathe, dying in this suffocation of his... oh I can't take it... why must he do this to me?

 

'Cause everything that you thought I would be

Has fallen apart right in front of you...

 

He releases me finally from the kiss, looking down at me with a smirk but with coldness in his eyes as well.

 

“I wish you would shape up. I expect you to be perfect, not some weak, bumbling fool like Yugi and the others. You don't need friends. All you need is me and power and then you'd be perfect... but so far none of that is turning out” he said disgustingly as he eyed me, sizing me up to see how more pathetic I've become.

 

Caught in the undertow

Just caught in the undertow...

 

Well thanks to him I am becoming more snappish and cruel... I already lost a good few friends thanks to this bastard... I'm already starting to become him! That's not what I wanted! I wanted to love and be love not to be cruel and heartless just like him!

 

“I don't know even why I keep you as my girlfriend. You're not becoming what I want and my patience is running thin...”

 

Every step that I take is

Another mistake to you...

 

“You know, by now I'd think you'd be at least half way to what I expected. But no... you've changed only slightly but otherwise you're still the old, fucking you!” he yelled at me. “Why can't you understand that I need perfection, every to go in a straight line under my leadership and you so far are straying pretty far away!”

 

Caught in the undertow

Just caught in the undertow...

 

He's usually go on like this for quite a while, always seeming to love pointing out my imperfections. Sometimes it was quite humourous to see him rant on lie this but not now... I've become so sick of it... so tired... so angry...

 

And every second I waste

Is more than I can take...

 

Why am I even here? This is totally wasting my time! I should be spending it with the friends I've neglected for so long! But no, I have to come see this fucked up asshole. That's it! I've had it! If he thinks he can continue treating me this way then he is the one who's a fool.

 

I've become so numb

I can't feel you there

Become so tired

So much more aware

I'm becoming this

All I want to do

Is be more like me

And be less like you...

 

He had continued talking to me and I had taken no notice of it. He also had a hand on my arm, squeezing it, supposedly, painfully but yet that too I took no notice of. And on and on he talked. But I had enough of his talking for at least more then a month. Its now my turn.

 

“Shut up” I said.

 

This definetly caught him off guard, the reaction I was expecting. Then, just as I suspected his eyes narrowed dangerously.

 

“What did you say to me?”

 

“I said shut the fuck up asshole!” I snapped. He glowered at me dangerously.

 

“How dare you talk back to me that way! But at least you're starting to shape up a little more...”

 

“I'm not shaping up because you want me too Kaiba! I'm getting sick and tired of being your fucking pawn, doing what you want, being what you be! I'M SICK OF IT!” I yelled at him, hands clenched in tight fists. He eyed me with a dark glare as he approached me threatingly, coming close to press me into the doors.

 

But before he could I brought my knee up, slamming it against his groin before shoving him back really hard, making him smack hard against his desk as he groaned in pain, looking at me with infuriated and wide eyes.

 

And I know

I may end up failing too

But I know

You were just like me

With someone disappointed in you...

 

“So what if I'm not going to be a success?! I don't give a damn! People suceed and fail all the time, its part of life Kaiba! Its part of my life too! I may be a failure to you but I know you were just like me and you had your stepfather disappointed and disgusted with you! And as much as you hated him you wanted him to believe you were better and greater with each passing step but you never were! Even when you overthrew him he was always better then you!” I yelled at him again. He stared at me, face pale and eyes widen in realisation.

 

“I...” he started, unsure of what to say. Wow, a first for the mighty Seto Kaiba.

 

“Don't bother making your witty comebacks Kaiba, I'm through with them, and you” I growled, anger shaking through my every vein, my every nerve, beaitng in my heart, beating through my whole body...

 

I've become so numb

I can't feel you there

Become so tired

So much more aware

I'm becoming this

All I want to do

Is be more like me

And be less like you...

 

He stood up again slowly from his slightly crouched position against his desk and slowly approached me. I turned away from him, not wanting to be look or be anywhere near him anymore.

 

I've become so numb

I can't feel you there...

 

He placed his hand on my shoulder, a firm grasp. I could sense anger and somewhat hurt feelings beneath this grip but I seemed to have become unaware of it.

 

“Listen-” he started to say, his voice low but firn, about to force his control over me like he usually did but I stopped him from saying anything further.

 

“Don't even bother Kaiba. I'm through with you” I said firmly myself.

 

I'm tired of being what you want me to be...

 

“W-What?” he said, surprised by my answer as his hand shook slightly on my shoulder, sending anger, agitation and every known unhappy emotion from him to me. I could sense his pain and confusement and I was glad.

 

I've become so numb

I can't feel you there...

 

I turned to him slowly, brushing his hand off of me in disgust, eyeing him with a cold, dark gaze, rivalling his own he used so many times on me before.

 

I looked him straight in those cold azure eyes, which were now wide and more clear... like the first time he talked to me when he was supposedly nice... yeah... supposedly...

 

“You heard me Kaiba” I stated firmly.

 

I'm tired of being what you want me to be...

 

“We're through”.

 

A look of more defeat and hurt ran through his features but anger definetly came up. I knew he was going to blow up on me but I wasn't going to stand around and wait to hear it out like I usually did.

 

“Goodbye Kaiba” I said before swiftly turning around, opening the door and walking out.

 

“Wait a second, I SAID WAIT!!!” he yelled after me.

 

I passed by his secretary who was looking at me in shock yet I could tell she was pleased. I smiled at her before passing by, heading to the elevator. I could hear him coming after me.

 

“No one turns their back on me, no one” he snarled angrily from behind.

 

At this I turned my head to glance at him slightly, smiling softly.

 

“Well Kaiba, I just did and I always will, from now to the day I die” I said calmly, causing him to freeze in his tracks. Happy by the reaction, I continued walking away from him till I was finally out of KaibaCorp and out of his sight.

I'm still numb to everything he does and always will be. I left him for good. For I was tired of being what he wanted me to be.