Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Origami Music ❯ Part 9 ( Chapter 9 )

Title: Origami Music

Chapter: 9/10

Author: Madyamisam

Rating: PG-13

Beta: Jennie B whom I've come to revere as my Beta Goddess…

Pairing(s): Joey/Mokuba (but not in `that' way) Joey/Seto

Spoilers: None

Disclaimer: Madyamisam doesn't own Yu-Gi-Oh. Nor the lyrics `Hello', `Everybody's Fool' and `Imaginary'

Summary: Two families, two children, two siblings, two friends… funny how an accident could make everything change…

 

---

 

The slow and gentle light of a new dawn crept through the closed curtains and roused him from his sleep. Shifting slightly beneath the covers, Kaiba groaned, and was mentally running through the business schedule for the day when he realised that he was not sleeping in his own bed. A whimper brought his attention to the warm, but tense, body next to him. Blond bangs were spread out across the large pillow whilst the sheets that covered the two teens were gripped tightly in Joey's fist, His face was creased into an expression of tormented sadness; the circles under the blond's eyes looking ever darker. Another whimper escaped the blond's lips as his hold on the sheets tightened even more. After being around an impassive Joey for nearly a year, it was a shock to see the intensity of hurt the blond showed when unconscious. `Is this what happens every night?' Seto thought, reaching over and drawing the blond to him, in the hope that it would provide some comfort from the torturous dream. Shifting to a more comfortable position, he ran his long fingers between the silk tresses, willing the nightmare plaguing Joey's dreams to disappear. He closed his eyes and listened as the short and anxious breaths gradually, became long and slow, and the younger teen started to relax. A few moments more of stroking the golden mane, and Joey's face became peaceful; the circles under his eyes lightened, and the tight grip upon the sheets loosened, much to the Kaiba's relief. Seto pulled the covers up a bit more and returned to stroking Joey's hair, brushing away the flaxen fringe from Joey's forehead and tucking it behind his ear. A surreal peace ran through the brunet. The creak of the bedroom door brought him out of his thoughts and a familiar mop of jet black hair peeped into the bedroom.

 

“Oh,” Mokuba whispered, first in surprise, and then concern. “I didn't know you were in here too, Seto. How is he?” The elder Kaiba sighed when the memories of last night flooded into his mind. It was obvious that Mokuba would be worried; after all, he had spent so much time with the blond that it probably seemed to him as if he had gained another brother.

 

“He'll be all right,” Kaiba replied reassuringly, glancing down at the still figure to check. “What time is it?”

 

“Five in the morning,” Seto smiled and raised an incredulous eyebrow at how deep his younger sibling's concern for the blond must be to wake up at such an early hour. “What? I needed to go to the bathroom… so I thought I'd check on Joey while was at it,” Mokuba answered in his defence, a hint of annoyance in the tone of his voice. With an indignant shrug he left the room, much to Seto's amusement. When the room was silent again, Kaiba closed his eyes again, listening to Joey's now slow breaths that were tickling the bit of exposed skin that was not covered by his silk pyjamas. Kaiba shifted slightly, pulling Joey closer in order to stave off the numbness in his arm when the weight upon his chest had lightened. He opened his eyes to stare into the deep and doleful brown ones of the other; the blond's gaze seemed almost childlike whilst the hand that had been gripping the sheets had moved to clench the silk pyjama top.

 

“Did I wake you?” The question was answered with silence. Joey turned his gaze upon the thin beam of sunlight that had slipped through the small gap in the curtain. “It's only five in the morning; we've got a couple more hours to sleep before we need to get up for school.” At the word sleep, Joey tensed again, his grip on the brunet's silk shirt, tightening between his fingers. Seto placed a hand over the fist, squeezing it reassuringly. “Mind telling me what your nightmare is about?” Joey didn't answer and, frustrated as the brunet was with the lack of communication since last night, he tried to not let it show. “I told you I'd be right here when you woke up,” he said, and to his relief, Joey's body relaxed again and the doe-like eyes reluctantly closed. Seto sighed, basking in the comforting peace. The two hours passed by in what felt like mere minutes, and Seto woke to a shake from his younger brother. Given the fact that the younger Kaiba was already dressed and ready for school, the two teens were going to have to wake up to now if they didn't want to be late for school. He sighed in resignation as he glanced at the blond resting on his chest, and cursed the hours of sleep that Joey obviously needed for being so short. The dark circles under Joey's eyes had lightened considerably, indicating that the two hours since they had last woke had passed blissfully, and Seto was reluctant to wake the boy up again.

 

“You know, I could phone up Téa and ask her and the guys to pick up any homework assignments you two have. She always carries her cell phone to school. After all, you both were out in the rain last night, and people catch a death of a cold from that.” Mokuba shuffled his feet as a crooked, devious smile appeared on his lips. Kaiba chuckled once he had gotten over his initial displeasure at the idea of skipping school. Looking back on the circumstances of last night, the idea did seem rather appealing.

 

“I'll tell the maid to bring you two breakfast, and I'll be on my way, ok?” The elder Kaiba blinked in alarm that his brother was would be travelling to school alone. “Don't worry about me; I'm sure I can survive 15 minutes alone in a limousine. Oh, and expect me to be a little late home; I'll be off with my friends to the arcade and the mall.”

 

“When did I approve of that?” Seto exclaimed indignantly.

 

“Just now, as a favour to me for helping you skive school. I don't do acts of altruism for free you know.” Mokuba giggled as he jogged out of the room, stopping short at the doorway, his attitude suddenly becoming serious. “Take care of Joey today, Seto. He's done a lot to help make us feel better about ourselves. Now it's time for us to do the same and let him catch up.” Mokuba smiled happily; the heavy burden of guilt had lifted to be no more than a distant smudge in his memories. The silence seemed almost strange when Mokuba had left for school and the blond continued sleeping on. Seto settled back into the pillows, gazing upon the golden locks splayed against the soft contours of the beautiful face against his chest. A soft groan came from the other's lips as Joey slowly woke up, eyes bleary with sleep. Kaiba chuckled at the dazed blond looking around the room as though he didn't recognise it, and he made a move to get out of bed. The young CEO was met with a weak whinge of protest when he pulled the blond to lie back down, but Seto knew that Joey had already fallen asleep again before his head had even hit the pillow.

 

“You really ~are~ exhausted,” he whispered, snuggling into the pillow next to the younger boy and brushing his wayward hair from his face, smiling when a soft sigh escaped the blond's lips. The silken, golden tresses were now catching the gleam of the sunlight, highlighting the soft contours of his face. A soft knock brought the young CEO out of his thoughts.

 

“Master Kaiba, your breakfast?” the maid asked, her large silver tray laden with toast, bacon, egg, and other assortments of food that Seto was not used to eating in the morning. He glanced at the sleeping figure beside him, and decided that he'd prefer it if they ate together.

 

“Bring it later,” he replied.

 

“Yes sir, oh and there's a phone call from Dr. Gibson.”

 

“Dr. Gibson?” Seto exclaimed in surprise upon hearing that it was the psychiatrist who had treated Joey nearly a year ago. He took the phone, vaguely able to remember the mellow tone of the doctor's voice. Mokuba had had calls from the man a few times a month to give him reports on Joey's progress.

 

“Hello, Mr. Kaiba. I received a message from Mokuba saying that he'd be absent for our appointment to discuss Joey's progress, but apparently, you wanted to fill in for him. I'll come to your mansion at five, alright?” Seto raised an eyebrow, curious about the timing of the appointment with respect to Joey's breakdown last night.

 

“Um… sure… I'll make sure Joey is ready by then. See you later.” Hanging up, he retrieved his laptop and started working, waiting for Joey to fully wake up.

 

---

 

He looked up from the blueprints of the latest Kaiba Corp project to see the blond shuffling in to the study in a blue, oversized shirt and long, black trousers that trailed, along the floor, threatening to trip him up. Seto looked confused when he recognised the clothes to be his own. He wondered if he should ask Joey why he was wearing them, but decided to not to. After all, the blonde looked quite adorable in his clothes. His long hair was tied in a loose ponytail, and the remnants of his old bangs were hanging by his cheeks like the floppy ears of a golden retriever.

 

“What is it?” Joey didn't answer, but tugged the brunet off his seat. Joey led him to the front door, pointing outside. The blond then went towards the window, staring out into the distance, his face pressed against the glass before he turned to Seto again. “You can't really go out like ~that~ you know. Why don't you get changed before we leave?” Seto said as he looked the blond up and down. Joey blinked, and then started shuffling towards the stairs, somehow avoiding tripping on the long pieces of fabric that trailed along the floor. “We have to get back here by five for the appointment with Dr. Gibson though, Joey.”

 

Seto contemplated be putting a leash on the blond as he hurried after him. The walk had probably taken a good hour or so before Joey had finally stopped and Seto managed to get his bearings. He stared at the iron gates and black steel lettering of the St Martin's Cemetery. “I see, that's why you were in such a hurry.” They eventually reached the respective grave for the first time in nearly a year. Joey stared at the beautiful, yet cold, marble tombstone, and then he knelt down and stroked the coloured picture, which was the centrepiece of the stone structure. Joey's mouth quirked into an awkward smile as he ran a hand against the picture of his sister. Her bright red hair framed a sweet smile that was forever fixed in stone, and Joey took it in a deep but cumbersome, embrace. Seto felt a twinge inside of him, a deep tenderness for the young girl who had given her life for Mokuba, and then the familiar shame for the resentment he had cast upon her brother during the first few months he came to the Kaiba mansion. He left Joey alone in search of a nearby flower stand, and to contemplate on his own how much he really hurt the blond. The past year had been a history of ups and downs for Joey and the Kaiba brothers, and Seto came to realise that in the course of these events, the puppy had become more important to him than he could imagine. To earn a good a life for his brother had been a mission, an obligation to set the best possible path in life so Mokuba would be able to manage on his own. Seto knew that Mokuba would leave when he was ready, although had never thought of what he'd do after that time came. But, since Joey had become fully involved in their lives, he had had dreams. Dreams of what he, Seto Kaiba, wanted to do with his life, and for once, he was content. However, content turned to apprehension when he returned to the blond's side.

 

“Joseph? What are you doing here?” Annie Wheeler stared bewildered at her son, a large bouquet of lilies in her arms. The blond turned to meet his mother's gaze, Serenity's tombstone cold and dead against his back. A light summer breeze played with wisps of the blond's silken tresses, and his doe-like amber eyes were staring at his mother's guilty ones. Without a word, Joey got up and walked away before Annie found her voice. “Jo-” she began, realising that he had already left. She looked towards the blue-eyed teen that had been with him to console her. “Is he… is he angry at me?”

 

“No,” Seto replied. “And don't try to compare your own bitterness to what he's been through just so you can make yourself feel better for what you said to him last summer.” The older woman sighed, brushing away a stray strand of her frizzy hair, laying her bouquet of flowers next to where Kaiba had placed his, and kneeling before the gravestone.

 

“I know I haven't been a good mother. I've spent every day regretting what I failed to do the day before. I guess… I guess I was hoping-” Tears formed and fell down her face. “I wasn't sure why, but after the visit last summer, I looked at our old photo albums from before the divorce. I never realised how beautiful their smiles were but… I don't remember them smiling like that since. All I could think about was how much I hated their father. I never thought of Joey happily welcoming me home, only the eggs I accidentally dropped when he went to hug me. I never thought of Serenity screaming in the back seat for her brother, just the fact that I was getting away… I never… I never thought of them- either of them, just of myself.” Seto wasn't sure whether he should leave or comfort the woman who was now shaking with silent sobs.

 

“There are some things that can never go back to what they once were; he may not be angry with you but you can't expect him forget it all then welcome you with open arms as if it never happened.” He knew the words stung, but it was one of the truths he knew all too well. He had just never disclosed it as advice to anyone before. “The best thing you could do is-“

 

“Keep looking forward, or in my case, start looking forward,” Annie interrupted. “I've been told that before, surprisingly from my ex-husband.”

 

“Just because you can't go back to the way it was it doesn't mean you can't make a new start with him,” Seto said, knowing all-too-well of his own, similar situation. It appeared that the thought had sunk in for the woman before him. Annie took a deep breath, wiping the last of her tears from her face. Whether she had slipped on a mask to hide her deep guilt or she had been comforted by the advice, Seto wasn't sure. However, it seemed that, at least for now Annie had a purpose.

 

---

 

Joey was standing by the gates of the cemetery when Seto found him. The brunet smiled and took the younger boy by the hand.

 

“Are you alright?” The blond's large brown eyes turned to stare into his own. Seto smiled when the blond acknowledged the question with a nod. The younger teen tugged him by the arm, and they walked past the park and the school, finally stopping outside one of the many apartment complexes. Seto had never come to such a place, but he knew almost instinctively what Joey had been intending. They climbed up the narrow flights of stairs, passed a few doors in the narrow hallway, and faced the front door of Joey's old apartment. Seto could tell that the place had been cleaned out, but there was still a lingering smell of alcohol permeating the newly painted walls. The shorter of the two teens reached for the handle, hand shaking slightly. The door had been left unlocked, and he easily pushed it open. The emptiness inside was intensified by the weak groan of the door hinges. Seto recoiled slightly from the stronger smell of alcohol in the small apartment, but like the rest of the building, it seemed to only linger like a distant memory. A snort drew their attention to the figure resting on the nearby couch. Joey strode forward and knelt by his father's side, listening to the older man's feverish breaths. It was the first time that Seto had seen Mr. Wheeler, and although there had been some similarities between father and son, he could immediately see the elder's face was harsher and worn out. His arms were bulky- twice the size of Joey's, and there was an evident beer belly bulging out from under his shirt. Seto wasn't sure what to make of the man except from what Mokuba had told him. The man was having trouble with alcoholism, and as far as the boy knew, he had been trying to get help for it whilst entrusting his son's care to a rich billionaire 11-year-old. Although the young CEO himself never visited Joey much when the boy went to the institute, he had noticed that the elder man had never seemed to come at all. However, despite the supposed neglect, his heart warmed at the tenderness on Joey's face when he shuffled to a small airing cupboard to pull out a large blanket and lay it over the large man. The elder man's laboured breathing suddenly turned into a fitful cough as he was brought out of his feverish sleep.

 

“Joey?” he croaked, staring bleary eyed at his son. He coughed once more as Joey got up and headed towards the small shower room, coming back with a wet towel to place on his father's burning forehead. Adrian Wheeler tried to prop himself up into a seated position only to be pushed back down by the younger blond. Although Joey didn't say anything, his father understood his son's concern and stayed where he was. It was only when Joey left once more, this time heading towards the kitchen, that the man realised Kaiba was standing there. “You're the elder one, huh?” Adrian croaked, drawing up the blanket towards his chest. Kaiba shifted slightly to get better look at the man, recognising the warm, doe-like eyes that Joey had inherited, the exception being Adrian's aged weariness compared to his son's fresh, youthful glow. “You'll have to excuse my condition; I wasn't expecting anyone to be coming here. Have a seat.” Seto accepted, and sat on the armchair next to the couch Adrian was lying on. “How's your brother?”

 

“He's fine...” Seto replied curtly, wondering what Joey was doing in the kitchen. However, the older blond was looking to start a conversation.

 

“That's good… we didn't exactly meet on good terms the first time. I promised I'd pay for the glass in his arms and… I'm sorry…” Adrian muttered, the guilt apparent in his voice. Seto merely glared at him. The brunet had often wondered how Mokuba had gotten hurt that day, but no matter how much he had pestered the boy, Mokuba had always avoided the subject, even going so far as to silence the limo driver as well. Perhaps he had merely wanted to protect the man, but now that Seto realised who was the cause of the boy's injuries, he had immediately formed a dislike of the man.

 

“I heard from him that you are dealing with an alcohol problem…”

 

“Yeah…. Have been for years… Haven't had a drop of beer, whiskey, or anything else for six months and running. I never want to go back to that… not since that time Joey wound up in hospital.”

 

“Hospital?”

 

“Hmm… during the first few months of high school, I had had a hell of a hangover when they called. Said that that Hirutani kid and his gang had beaten him up. Five boys had tied him to a hook at a warehouse and electrocuted him with those phaser guns… caused second degree burns on his ribs when they'd rammed those things at him.” Seto sat back in alarm. He had never heard of the blond ever going through something like that. He could only vaguely remember that the boy had been absent for a few weeks, but had never thought much about it. “He was going through all that… while I was here… going through one can of beer after another….” Adrian made a snorting noise, somewhere between laughing and crying. “I thought I was getting better; I went to my meetings, I was gonna get myself a better job. I thought I'd be able to take some responsibility at last… then… just as I thought things were getting better… Serenity… my sweet, sweet… little girl.”

 

“You never went to see him when he went to the institute?”

 

“Oh, I did go to see him, nearly every day. I just didn't want him to see ~me~.” Adrian shook his head as he recalled what state he was in at the time. “Not like that… But it turns out that I ended up showing him anyway when he got back home.”

 

“I was wondering why you never came to claim him when Mokuba took him away.”

 

“I did panic when I was sober and realised what had happened; the drops of blood were more than enough. I called your brother… he was a bit apprehensive. I couldn't blame him… I promised him I'd try again as long as he took care of Joey for me… He hasn't been too much trouble, has he?” Seto bit his lip, wondering if he should inform the man of his own misgivings about his son.

 

“To be honest, we've had quite a few… major misunderstandings… this past year… mostly on my part,” Seto said, not daring to elaborate. Adrian merely gave him a lopsided grin, reminiscent of the trademark smile that Joey used to have.

 

“No one really understands how special he is until they get to know him- him and Serenity both,” the man explained proudly just as his son came in with a tray. A warm and rich smell wafted across the room as Joey laid the tray in his arms on the coffee table in front of the couch; a large bowl of vegetable soup and couple of slices of bread were neatly laid out in the tray in front of him. The elder Wheeler sighed contently, raising an incredulous eyebrow at the boy. “C'mere and let me take a look at you,” he whispered, brushing away the gold, silken hair from Joey's face. His eyes immediately saddened when Joey stared back at him. Cupping Joey's face with both hands, he stared at him intently. “Don't forget her,” he whispered. Joey remained speechless and merely acknowledged his father's words with a nod of his head before turning and pushing the bowl of soup closer to the man. It was at that time that Seto interrupted.

 

“It's four o'clock. We'll need to head back home to meet up with Dr. Gibson. Joey.” Joey gripped the leather couch tightly, his only sign that he wanted to stay.

 

“I'll be fine son… go on back,” Adrian urged, slowly spooning the warm soup to his lips. Joey shook his head and was met with a stern look from his father. Seto took the moment of hesitation as an opportunity to lead the blond away. Joey had been reluctant as he had glanced back at his father, who only responded with a smile.

 

---

 

“Welcome, Dr. Gibson. Master Kaiba and Mr. Wheeler are waiting for you in the study,” the maid said before leading the psychiatrist to them. Seto was busy typing a paper on his next project whilst Joey sat on a couch next to him, working on another paper creation.

 

“Dr. Gibson, have a seat,” Seto greeted, shutting down his computer immediately.

 

“There's no need for the formalities, Seto. This is a casual meeting. Call me Gil,” Gibson replied warmly. The blond shuffled to his side and pressed a crane into the psychiatrist's hand. “Oh, thank you,” Gil said happily, playing with the origami and watching it flap with delight. He glanced over at the blond who had gone back to his corner, as if oblivious to his presence once more. “How is Joey doing? Last I was told by your brother, there had been some tension between you and his friends.”

 

“There was; most of the issues have been resolved and those that haven't are being… met halfway,” Seto explained, thinking back to the delicate truce he had with Tristan.

 

“Good to hear, good to hear. Is there something wrong?” Seto looked startled as the man peered up at him, his glasses tilted down the bridge of his nose, the concern obvious in his eyes. The brunet wasn't sure if the man was exceptionally good at reading people, or if spending time with Joey over the past year had made him go soft. Nevertheless, he told the man about the previous night.

 

“Joey has had trouble sleeping. He seems afraid to, and also…” Seto paused, wondering if he should address that point. He looked at Joey, who seemed too preoccupied with his origami to pay attention. “Last night, he went out in the rain and was mumbling about something.”

 

“What did he mumble about?”

 

“I can't really remember; something about waking from a dream, living a lie, and telling himself or someone not to cry.” Seto blinked while the psychiatrist pondered his words.

 

“Hmm… sounds like the lyrics to a song to me,” Gibson mused. “If I close my eyes and don't believe, soon I'll wake up from this dream.” Joey, for the first time since Gibson had arrived, looked up from his paper crane, his eyes filled with wonder. “Don't try to fix me, I'm not broken, I'm the lie living for you so you can hide…. Don't cry,”

 

“Don't cry,” the blond echoed. Dr. Gibson smiled at Seto's wide-eyed reaction to Joey's response; it was the first time he had talked that day.

 

“My daughter listens to their album so much that even ~I~ know the words. Music is, after all, a way of expressing your feelings through art. So, I think you can find quite a few answers if you listen to it. The paper cranes as well; they represent quite a few things in the oriental culture; a show of love, hope, an unfulfilled wish,” the doctor explained to Seto before he turned to the blond opposite him, Joey's attention now fully on him. “So what is it you wish for, Joey?” The blond blinked, stroking the delicate wings of the paper bird. He didn't answer the question, but Gibson wasn't one to pry too deeply. “That's ok, you don't have to tell me. But, I know Seto can help you in whatever it is.” Gibson looked at his watch and stretched. “I'll be leaving in a few minutes, but if possible, Joey, could I spend that time alone with Seto, please?” Joey shuffled away, gathering his cranes in his arms and heading towards the dining room.

 

“So, you really believe that the music he listens to will help clue me in to what upset him that night?” Seto asked incredulously, glancing at the huge pile of CD's near his stereo. They all belonged to Joey, for Seto only ever listened to the radio for traffic conditions and news reports. Music wise, he preferred classical music, Tschaikovski and the like to relieve stress. He had never really bothered with the popular music of today. Thinking about it, he pondered the irony of it, given the fact that he was the most technologically advanced as a computer and games developer, yet he remained quite old fashioned as far as his musical interests were concerned.

 

“As I said, music is the art of expressing feelings,” Gibson explained, picking up one CD and passing it to the young CEO. “You just need to listen. Track nine.” Seto pursed his lips as he looked at the cover of the CD, noting the gothic lettering of the band name, and the black and white shading on the lead singer's face, silhouetted against a blue background. He recognised that it was one of Joey's favourite CD's, but he was still sceptical about the psychiatrist's theory. He blinked at the title of track nine, `Hello', and wondered what it was about. Nonetheless, he slipped the disc into the stereo, skipping ahead to track nine, and listening to it intently. It was a slow, sad song that began with a delicate and simple piano intro. Seto suddenly imagined himself, standing in the middle of a crowded street, people passing by him as they went about their daily lives, whilst for him, time had stopped, and all the sadness and fear was swallowed up by emptiness.

 

~Playground school bell rings… again. Rain clouds come to play… again.

Has no one told you she's not breathing?

Hello… I'm your mind, giving you someone to talk to… Hello~

 

Seto gasped, as he recognised first the singer, and then the words that seemed to tell Joey's story through ~his~ eyes.

 

~If I smile and don't… believe

Soon I'll know I'll wake… from this dream

Don't try to fix me I'm not broken

Hello, I'm the lie living for you so you can hide… Don't cry~

 

“Don't cry,” Seto repeated as he listened to the instrumental bridge before he reached the final verse.

 

~Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping. Hell~o? I'm still here… All that's left of yesterday…~

 

“What does this song make you feel?” Gibson asked, sitting back against his seat, his fingers knitting together when Seto paused the disc. All of a sudden, Seto felt that Joey had become an open book to him. It suddenly all made sense.

 

“Like time stopped, and there is nothing but emptiness. Grief, fear, anger and chaos are swallowed up. That's what this song conveys, this song that… must have been going through his head that day. The day of the accident…” Seto went back to the lyrics sheet and pushed the buttons again to listen to a new song. He [didn't recognize any of the other tracks until he heard the heavy guitar riff at the beginning of the song, and then the stabbing words of the singer,

 

~Never was and never will be

You don't know how you've betrayed me

And somehow you've got everybody fooled~

 

“This one… conviction and bitterness.” Seto listened on.

 

~Without the mask where will you hide?

Can't find yourself lost in your lie?

I know the truth now
I know who you are

And I don't love you anymore~

 

“Self loathing,” Seto concluded sitting back and almost reeling from the information the song gave. Joey had been listening to it just before their first dinner sitting together, and he remembered all too clearly how that had ended. He visibly shuddered as the memory played back in his mind, the scornful remarks he had said, and now that he understood, he realised in hindsight, that his words were an extra rub of salt in an already deep and painful wound. Flicking away from the song, he skipped ahead some more as the ghostly voice carried on, revealing the various emotions that he had formerly been ignorant of. Seto closed his eyes, silently cursing himself for not having noticed before.

 

~Don't say I'm out of touch

Of this rampant chaos, your reality

I know well what lies beyond my sleeping refuge

The nightmare I built my own world to escape~

 

~In my field of paper flowers

And candy clouds of lullaby

I lie inside myself for hours

And watch my purple sky fly over me~

 

“He was withdrawing inside himself… to stop it hurting.”

 

“Looks like you've got a lot of information on how Joey's been feeling lately, then?” Gibson mused picking up his coat.

 

“Thank you for the advice,” Seto whispered, suddenly feeling very tired. The psychiatrist answered with a small smile.

 

“You're welcome.” After running through all the other songs, he sighed heavily. He had heard enough and was ready to retch from what the songs implied, either through words or mood. He headed towards the dining room where Joey was waiting for him. The blonde sat alone, staring out through the window just as the setting sun was bathing the world in an orange and red glow, and the dark shadows emphasised the deep, soulful brown eyes staring out into the distance. He felt like he had wandered into a dream. Blinking, the younger teen turned his eyes to the depressed brunet.

 

“I'm sorry,” Seto said suddenly, putting every ounce of emotion he possessed into the two words. “For everything that I've said to you in the past… I never realised how deeply I had- I'm sorry.” Seto gasped when the blond gently brushed away the tears from his face. Without warning, the brunet pulled him into an embrace, whispering his apologies over and over, feeling the weight of his guilt lightening as he said them. They pulled back when the maid came in to announce that dinner was ready. Kaiba nodded in acknowledgement, and the two boys sat down just when she came back in and laid out the plates. She gave them a small smile before leaving them to sit in an embarrassed silence. The meal seemed uneventful after Seto's revelation, however, despite the silence, the brunet's mind was reeling with emotion. Finally, the blond spoke.

 

“I…” It was as if his words had died, and his voice could not form a sound.

 

“What is it?” Seto whispered, desperately wanting to hear the boy's beautiful tenor.

 

Joey stuttered. “I've wanted, since the accident, to talk to you… to tell you everything… how I feel.” Warm, brown eyes met with cool midnight blue, almost as if Seto had opened a small window for him to escape the confining darkness that he had put himself in. “I never thought badly of you”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because I knew… you would understand… It didn't matter to me if you hated me. I didn't want love, comfort or pity. I wanted to talk to someone who was capable of seeing me for who I am. Who understands me,” Joey explained. “I'm tired… I'm too tired of hiding it like I used to. So, that's why… I never thought badly of you, and I never will.” All of a sudden, all of the turmoil seemed to be pacified by the soft tenor voice.

 

“After dinner, do you want to show me how you're feeling right now?”

 

Joey looked somewhat taken aback, his beautiful, amber eyes expressing emotion that was so rarely seen these days. Seto shifted awkwardly when the blond cocked his head and stared at him as though he was a particularly puzzling enigma that needed to be solved. Kaiba knew, instantly, that the blond hadn't expected to be offered his help. All that Joey had expected was for someone to at least see him for who he was. He had been thrown into a dark world, a hideous reality that he couldn't escape from, and he had not deserved to be there in the first place. Yet, despite all this, he had searched continuously for the light to bring him back, and he was still floundering for his lifeline. This wasn't just something that had come about over one year. It had been going on for almost all of his life, stemming from a young age when he was forced to grow up and abandon his childhood. As a child, he would fear for the impending loneliness that would surface in his later life, desperately trying to save himself from it, all the while trying to please his parents, friends, gods and deities, searching for the warmth and safety that was denied him. Serenity had been his only source of that warmth, yet their time together had not been long enough, and those who tormented him had violently torn them apart for their own selfish means. Seto could understand this, but unlike Joey, he ~had been~ offered a lifeline, and from the looks of things, Joey had never expected the favour to be returned. “I want to know… I want to help you…” Seto added, a little unsure of his capability to console someone. The other boy looked away as though ashamed, and he shook in his seat as unshed tears began to appear in the corner of his eyes. He looked up, and the two corners of his mouth perked upwards in a smile that spoke of something beyond gratitude. For the first time in a long time, Joey had finally found his lifeline, and Seto vowed to himself that he wasn't about to fail him.

 

TBC