Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Paranoid ❯ Who's Diary ( Chapter 6 )

The day that was about to begin for Marik was not very good to say the least. They say that a good day is judged according to the way you wake up in the morning…well it was a really bad day for the blonde Egyptian.

 

“MARIK? MARIK? ANSWER ME!!! BROTHER!!!!??”

 

It was the loud shrill of his sister that pierced through his fuzzy brain. Then came loud banging noises from his bedroom door. What the heck?

 

“MARIK!! ARE YOU ALRIGHT??!” she screamed again, at the top of her lungs. Marik had to shove his head under the pillow to block out her cries. A very intelligent and very coherent thought went through the boy's sleeping mind.

 

`She WILL die. And I WILL be the one to KILL her.'

 

Isis's pathetic efforts to make her brother open the door continued for a few moments, until the shout of another person echoed around. Marik had heard that deep baritone before. In fact, it was the voice that had haunted his unpleasant dreams.

 

“MARIKU! Are you ok? It's Bakura!!”

 

Marik's head instantly popped up from beneath the pillow. What was this fuss, anyway? Is this how these people woke up every morning…? He slowly staggered to his feet and tried to hurry in opening the door.

 

Isis and Bakura's shouts combined could wake the whole neighborhood. He was just one step from unlocking the door. At this point, his sleepy mind could not really think about anything else except the primal instinct: make them shut up.

 

A hollow, red alert went out somewhere in his brain, warning him that he was forgetting something…He turned around quickly, only to come face to face with Bakura's little book placed on his night table.

 

`Oh shit, I better hide this before Bakura finds out I stole it from him!!'

 

With a choked yell that revealed his dizzy state of mind, Marik shouted. “I'm COMING!! JUST A SEC!!!!”

 

A momentary silence followed and Marik cursed himself inwardly. He had just sounded like a teenager who had done something bad and was trying to cover up the mess.

 

The silence continued for a few moments, while Marik clumsily ran to the night table, grabbed the little book and searched around for a proper hiding place. Damn, this was too early for him!!!

 

“Marik? Thank goodness you're all right! What's going on in there?!” Isis questioned as she heard Marik's clumsy thuds.

 

“UMM…NOTHING!! I…have no idea what you're talking about!!” Marik shouted back in a comical way, as he pushed the book under his bed. Then, with forced, spasmodic movements, he finally ran to the door and unlocked it.

 

A swish of wooden brown was all Bakura and Isis managed to see, as the door was suddenly opened with Marik standing in the entrance. His blonde hair was messy from the combination of sleep and his morning activities, while his amethyst eyes seemed slightly glazed over. He promptly and very pointedly glared at his sister.

 

“What's the matter, Isis? Why the morning riot?” he asked while stifling a yawn `I'm gonna kill you nice and slow…' he thought to himself and tried to prevent the maniacal grin from climbing onto his features.

 

Isis could only blink “Umm…sorry, brother…but we thought you were in danger…You never know…” she left that statement trail on cryptically.

 

Marik snorted loudly “With the way you're treating me, one might think I'm crazy and suicidal….” He let his piercing eyes roam over his sister and the albino who was standing next to her. They were both looking at the floor with guilty expressions.

 

Marik blinked slowly and finally understood the concept “Oh…” the tone sounded more disappointed than he would have liked “Of course…you DO think I'm crazy…”

 

And it hurt Marik like a stab to the heart, knowing that Bakura thought of him as a mere lunatic...while he cried for someone else at night…

 

“Well!!” Isis interrupted him very pointedly, as she plastered a nervous smile on her face “I'll just go and make some breakfast!!! See you in a minute!”

 

And with those words, she left the two boys, conveniently abandoning Bakura to deal with all the intensity of the situation. Only then did Marik fully register the exact standing position of Bakura and the fact that the albino had been watching him this entire time.

 

Reluctantly, Marik turned his gaze to lock with the albino's. Oh yes. Bakura was watching him…and the albino looked quite tense. Marik wondered why…The blonde boy started wondering whether everything that happened last night was a simple dream. But of course not…the little book hidden under his bed was a confirmation that everything was real.

 

Today, Bakura looked absolutely normal. Well, save for the black bags under his eyes which had been there for as long as Marik could remember…Bakura looked just as tired, worn out and scrawny as ever.

 

Marik shook his head dismissively. Bakura was probably used to that vodka routine…But shouldn't he have an unbearable hangover? Oh well…another weird thing…

 

Curiously, Marik noticed that Bakura's eyes were not full of hope and understanding today. They seemed much more intense than usual and they also had an edge of pain in them.

 

Strangely, it looked much more like the Bakura Marik had known in the Yugioh world…

 

“Hey…” Marik started, acting very out of character and actually attempting to start a conversation. Those eyes were destroying his skull, he just couldn't concentrate.

 

“Hey…” Bakura answered, and Marik noticed with discomfort that the albino's voice sounded a bit gruff and hoarse. It hadn't been clear when the boy was shouting before, but it was obvious now.

 

It was strange for Bakura not to take the opportunity of engaging in conversation with Marik when given the chance. Marik focused on Bakura's face and clearly saw the boy's petrifying, red gaze sweep over his body.

 

Marik froze, and suddenly he was perfectly aware of the fact that he was only wearing a pair of scarlet, checkered boxers. Couldn't he have worn a t-shirt at least? But Bakura had seen him topless before, right? Then why was Marik freaking out like a god-damn WOMAN ???

 

A voice broke out in Marik's brain, telling him to go for the kill. He should ask Bakura about what he did in the attic every night…Maybe he should mention the book…

 

“Umm….” Bakura seemed to break away from a trance, while a fine pink hue spread over the boy's cheeks. It annoyed Marik to no ends, not being able to comprehend Bakura's thoughts at the moment. “Sorry about that…I just spaced out…”

 

Marik smirked harshly “Yes, I could see that.” He was tempted to mention the way Bakura had been staring at his flesh, as if checking him out, but thought better of it. Instead, he noticed the way the albino's eyes returned to their slightly hurt, pained gaze.

 

“Well…” Bakura started, and suddenly etched away from Marik “I'll go downstairs…You just come down when you're…um…ready…yeah…”

 

Marik didn't say anything. He just watched the albino nod at his own words and start walking slowly to the stairway. Bakura's legs looked like sticks in those jeans…barely able to support his crumbling figure.

 

Marik's eyes narrowed visibly. Who was the lost lover who had made Bakura like this? And why was Isis not doing anything to help the albino? Damn!!

 

Marik turned on his heels and walked in the guestroom. He shut the door behind him and looked around. He briefly remembered the weird sensation of having Bakura roam his eyes on his body. For goodness sake, Bakura was a GUY!!!

 

`So what?' a little voice in the back of the Egyptian's head piped up `You were all over him yesterday night.'

 

And at that dramatic moment, while thinking of those secret touches from last night, Marik blushed. He didn't realize it, of course, and so this moment cannot really be considered a giveaway of his unknown feelings.

 

`Well…I guess getting dressed would be a start.' He thought with a sigh. `Why does my face feel hot, again?'

 

 

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Marik descended the staircase slowly, his white shirt and beige trousers pooling around his body. Okay, he was a bit too thin. So what?

 

He came to stand tiredly next to the breakfast table and proceeded to watch Isis and Bakura prepare breakfast. He didn't even bother offering help. What was the use, anyway? He didn't even know where the coffee was located in this house.

 

“So sister, why did you wake me so early?” Marik asked in a somewhat annoyed tone, receiving startled looks from both Bakura and Isis.

 

“Marik, it's one o'clock p.m.! It's not exactly early!” Isis pointed out, receiving a growl from her brother. From behind her, Bakura grinned fondly.

 

“Let it go, Isis…Don't you remember what a late sleeper he is?” the albino questioned and Isis immediately nodded. Marik was absorbing every single wistful expression on Bakura's face.

 

“I always used to reprimand him, and that will never stop!! You men are such overgrown babies…” Isis stated with an air of finality, and Marik had to suppress the urge to STRANGLE her again…He settled for watching Bakura shake his head in disapproval.

 

“Not all of us. Only Mariku. He always dozes off after having his dinner. Just like babies with breastfeeding…All you have to do is give him some food, and then he goes out like a light!! It's really annoying, actually…” Bakura smiled at his own statement, and that high smile came over the albino's expression again.

 

Marik thought he should be annoyed at hearing that last comment, but felt a bit dumbfounded. `How did he know I always do that? How come he knows my habits so well?' Marik frowned slightly at Bakura's oblivious face, which was staring out in the distance.

 

`Why does he always look so excited when he talks about his memories of me?' Marik mused `And why does he never look at me directly when he's talking about me? He always stares at the distance, as if he's talking about another person, not me…'

 

Marik huffed in spite of himself `Why does he not look at me that way? Do I not QUALIFY for his best friend, Mariku?'

 

Marik had been a bit too caught up in his thoughts, and was only interrupted when a bowl of cereal was placed in front of his face. He raised his eyes to meet the usual kind, scarlet orbs.

 

“Here you go…” Bakura offered the plate and set it on the table before his friend “Your favorite…” he added. Marik raised an eyebrow at the last sentence. Now how could Bakura possibly know his food preferences? Actually, he had never eaten cereal in the world of Yugioh.

 

He smirked at his own thoughts, reassuring himself over and over that Bakura could never possibly be right for a second time. He watched the albino take a seat on the right side of the square table with a glass of coffee placed in front of him.

 

`Right…' Marik mused `It would only be logical with last night's hangover…He needs caffeine to stay awake…I wonder when he woke up. Not long before me, I suppose…'

 

Isis came to sit with them and started eating a toast. It wasn't long since she started small talk with Bakura, mainly. The forced cheer was evident on both parties, though.

 

“Rishid came home at about five in the morning…He's still sleeping, I think. Too bad he won't get the chance to see Marik real soon…” Isis mused “I think I'm gonna skip work at the library for today…We can afford it.”

 

Bakura nodded in agreement as he took a sip from his coffee, his eyes fluttering lightly towards the blonde. Meanwhile, Marik was fuming.

 

`Rishid? How could I forget about it? I'm doomed!!' But then he thought better of it. This would be the perfect chance to find out whether he was a real Yami or not. If he vaporized the moment he saw the glyph on Rishid' s face, that would mean that he was Yami Marik. Then, at least he'd have died less ignorant… If not…things got a lot more complicated…

 

Marik could still feel those red eyes burning holes in his head and suddenly felt the need to get away from that stare. Attempting to occupy himself with something else, Marik grabbed his spoon and tasted his cereal.

 

`Mmmm….' He thought, denying the fact that he sounded like a stupid teenager again `This stuff is gooood…Bakura was right…'

 

That thought froze everything else. Bakura was right…Marik blinked, and tried not to glance at the albino who was sitting close by. Bakura was right about his favorite cereal. Maybe Bakura was right about everything else too…After all, Bakura seemed to know who Marik was better than the blonde did himself.

 

`I don't even know if I am a Yami or not…' Marik mused disgruntledly `But Bakura even knows about my favorite food…Who should I believe in this case? Him…or myself?'

 

The blonde tried to kick out all worrying thoughts, and completely devoted himself to the task of eating. He managed to devour all his cereal, surprising even himself. Finally, anorexia seemed to be lifting off his shoulders.

 

He glanced at Bakura's direction, only to be reminded that the albino had not even touched any food. All he had was a dark, sugar-free coffee…That kid should learn to eat a bit more. Besides, what was the use? His lost lover would never come back if Bakura starved himself to death…

 

“Hey, Bakura, why don't you eat something?” Marik suggested while trying to hide the annoying concern from showing in his voice. Bakura looked surprised to say the least, but decided to brush it off as a regular occurrence.

 

“Umm…I'm just…not really hungry…I guess…” the boy squirmed a bit under Marik's imposing stare.

 

“You're never `really hungry'…Are you bulimic or something?” Marik asked in a fake oblivious tone.

 

“Umm…n-no…” Bakura seemed even more nervous.

 

“That's right, brother! Tell him! I've been telling him for so long now, that my tongue is starting to ache!!” Isis interrupted and egged Marik on at his task to force Bakura to eat.

 

Marik grinned and nodded confidently while turning back to Bakura. “Come on, Babe! A little food won't hurt you…” He stated with a teasing tone. Immediately, Bakura and Isis both turned to him in an alerted fashion.

 

“What?” Marik asked with a frown “Did I say something wrong? That's my nickname for you, right, Babe?”

 

Bakura's wide eyes flashed with something incomprehensible for only a second. That dazed, loving look took over his features again as he stared directly at Marik.

 

“No…It's just that…for a moment there, you almost sounded…sounded like…” the albino mused in an overly dreamy tone. Marik was internally rejoicing. He finally had what he wanted. Bakura was staring at him with that wistful look. Just for him! Staring directly at him! Marik could not believe he was getting so excited about this.

 

“Like who?” Marik rushed to ask a bit too eagerly.

 

Bakura blinked and shook his head disappointedly. To Marik's chagrin, his moment was lost, only to be replaced with that hurt, tortured look in Bakura's eyes again.

 

“…like…yourself…” the albino answered.

 

Heavy silence choked the company of three, as Isis slowly continued to munch on her omelet, trying to make as less noise as possible. Marik was confused and suddenly very…disappointed. He watched Bakura gaze in the distance with a lost, pained expression.

 

“Excuse me…for a moment…” Bakura merely said in a choked whisper. He kicked away from the table and stood up. Marik didn't even have time to realize what was happening, before Bakura had run up the staircase. The thud of a closing door was heard and Marik instantly knew that Bakura had retreated in his lonely attic.

 

`Damn. What did I do wrong?' Marik thought a bit confusedly `Why did he go back in the attic? To drink his brains out, again? Why? I hardly said anything…And what did he mean by that last phrase? I AM myself. Doesn't he know that? What does he see me like, an alien? Why does he see me as a different person? I am Marik, right? Right?'

 

He tried to tune out the voices that kept denying this in his head. He WAS Marik. The one and only. He turned to look at Isis, who was sipping some water quietly on his left. It wasn't too late to ask her. It would be the smartest thing to do, anyway…

 

“Hey, sister…” the blonde boy started, and she silently turned to him in apprehension “What does Bakura do in the attic, all alone?” he asked, earning a sigh on her behalf.

 

She seemed reluctant to answer “You must understand Marik…that Bakura has problems…” this sparked Marik's attention. Problems?

 

“He's been through a lot since you…you know…left us. And well, the two of you used to be really…close…And he's been very lonely ever since…” her eyes slid to Marik subtly “Well…just give him time…It's not easy to have you back here -so close to us…and yet so far away…He's trying to come to terms with the idea of a different Marik…”

 

Marik felt confused “But I'm not different…I'm Marik. I'm back now, right? Doesn't that mean that Bakura isn't lonely anymore? I am Marik, right?”

 

That last question sounded so wrong, even to his own ears. He didn't know what he was saying…he had probably lost it completely. All he could think about was a way to find out how to pull Bakura out of his misery. He didn't even care why he was feeling like this. He just wanted to help the other boy -out of curiosity only, of course….

 

Isis sighed dismissively and shook her head. She patted her brothers hair thus tempting Marik to KILL her then and there. “Sometimes you're very foolish, Mariku…” she commented, making her brother writhe in anger “Don't you see that you're not the same without your memories? How do you expect Bakura to act the same around you when you can't remember a single thing about him….? You used to be his whole world…he must feel so lonely without you…”

 

Marik's eyes widened at what he heard. `I used to be his whole world? Lonely without me? Now where did that come from?' Marik decided he'd had enough of this mushy sap. He wanted answers and he wanted them now. And Isis would give them to him. Clear, rigid answers.

 

“Isis, what is he doing up there?” Marik asked bluntly, in a voice that suggested authority. Isis paused suddenly, clearly recognizing the demanding tone in her brother's voice. There was no use fighting it. She would have to answer anyway eventually.

 

“I suppose he's just…umm…thinking! Yes…thinking about the past...Thinking about…the past he had with you…” that last phrase was an undertone, but Marik managed to hear it nonetheless. Bakura thinking? Nah…he was probably drinking and crying…

 

`The question is…is he drinking and crying about what Isis said? About his past…with me? What past? Damn! But then again, he was hearing love songs yesterday…so he can't be crying over…me…' a small lump of disappointment and jealousy bubbled up within Marik's throat. Bakura would be probably crying over some beautiful, long-legged, blonde girl…not some skinny, crazy, pathetic Egyptian guy…

 

When exactly did Marik start thinking like this about himself? Was it when he met this kind, sweet Bakura? Or was it when he realized that the whole world he had believed in was possibly a hallucination? Oh yes…that's right. In a mere two days, Marik had been assaulted with feelings of confusion, guilt and shock. Had his whole world been a lie?

 

Was it all one big, fat hallucination? Was he a nutso? Or maybe schizophrenic -with the whole Yami Malik double identity thing…?

 

As if this wasn't enough…Marik also had to endure these weird feelings concerning Bakura…why was he so worked up about this, anyway?

 

As if on cue, a loud shout was heard form upstairs. Marik and Isis turned around to come face to face with the image of a frantic albino descending the stairs. In a mess of limbs and arms, Bakura found himself at the bottom of the staircase.

 

He ran to where Marik and Isis were sitting and stopped right in front of the woman. Marik took notice of the boy's disheveled appearance, his red, puffy eyes and the curious wet trails on his cheeks. The boy's eyes were altered in desperation, and for once he didn't even shed a glance at Marik, who felt strangely hurt.

 

“Isis!!” Bakura's clearly tear-muffled voice said in a desperate tone. His bloody eyes were solely focused on Isis, ignoring Marik's presence completely.

 

“ISIS!! Have you seen it?! I lost it!” Bakura was saying frantically, clutching desperately on his own clothes. Marik had the fleeting feeling that the boy was slightly intoxicated yet again, because Bakura didn't seem to register the fact that tears were sliding freely from his eyes.

 

Marik never thought he'd see the day when demons would weep.

 

“Calm down, Bakura!! What did you lose?” Isis questioned hurriedly as she stood up and supported the albino's shoulders.

 

“The diary! It's lost! Isis! It's the only thing I have left!! It's lost, Isis!!” Bakura positively cried in hysteria as Isis pulled him in her embrace and let him fist his hands in her clothes. Marik had also stood up and was watching the scene intently.

 

Diary? Could it be…The little book?

 

“It's all I have left, Isis…I-I can't lose it…please…make it come back…Isis…I'd left it in the attic…” Bakura wailed in misery, and Isis tried to soothe the boy as best as she could.

 

“I know…I know…We'll search for it together, okay? I'll help you…I'll help…” she said, and received a spasmodic nod from Bakura.

 

Okay. Now Marik felt really guilty. His damn curiosity had caused more suffering to the very person he had been trying to help. Bakura was obviously referring to the book Marik had stolen from the attic…Maybe he could sneak it back somehow…

 

But then…Marik was confronted with an ethical dilemma- who would've known he even had ethics? It was either his curiosity or Bakura's happiness. If Marik returned the book, then Bakura would be relatively content again, but Marik would never learn the albino's secrets. But then again…if he DID find out what was written in that important book, then Marik could possibly discover the way to help Bakura once and for all…

 

It was a hard choice…And Marik was frustrated at himself for feeling weak enough to be confused about it. He was heartless, right? He shouldn't be worrying about peoples' feelings.

 

But then again…this was Bakura, not `people'…

 

`Just wait until I learn your secrets, albino…just wait a little longer…' Marik thought as he watched the miserable form of Bakura crying on Isis's shoulder, completely ignoring Marik. `And if I help you…you might see me as a friend again…' Marik thought strangely `And cry on my shoulder…and come to me for help…'

 

“Why don't you lie down for a while Bakura…you need your strength. ” Isis advised in a motherly manner, only to receive a declination from Bakura.

 

“I-I…I must look for it, Isis…” he countered.

 

She nodded wearily “Don't worry, just take a nap, and we'll search for it afterwards...It can't have disappeared! Here, come with me…”

 

And with these words Marik watched her lead Bakura's wobbly figure to the upper floor. It was now the greatest moment for Marik to realize that he was not really a part of this family. These people didn't see him as a brother or a friend…they saw him as a lunatic. Simply their brother gone crazy. Maybe that was all he was, after all…

 

And to think that he used to mean so much more to them, once…

 

His lavender eyes sparkled with new-found resolve. He would become a part of their world no matter what. Since the memories of his own Yugioh realm were slowly slipping away, he had better tried to understand what was going on in this world.

 

With quick strides, he ascended the stairs and ran to his guestroom. Isis and Bakura were upstairs in the attic, and Marik supposed Isis was helping Bakura or something. Meanwhile, Marik slammed the door behind him and locked it quickly.

 

He vaguely wondered what a heavy sleeper Rishid probably was -the man hadn't woken up with any of the noises!! But then again, maybe he was used to it…

 

And to think that Isis was married to that bald fool!! Marik huffed. He was still a bit itchy about that…

 

With a sudden lunge towards the bed, Marik rushed to pull out the leather-covered diary. Hmm…. So this was Bakura's diary…Now Marik would learn all the secrets that kept him apart form his friend's mind. Now he would finally find out why Bakura was so dependant on this little book and why the albino kept getting drunk night after night while reading it.

 

Marik noticed begrudgingly that his own hands were shaking in excitement about his investigation. He scolded himself inwardly. What was wrong with him anyway? He was simply reading a diary, nothing special…

 

Marik reached out a trembling hand and opened the cover. There was a small sign in the middle of the first page `Journal', it wrote.

 

Marik eagerly turned the page, his trepidation rising in sync with his now wildly beating heart. This was it! This was Bakura's secret!!

 

Marik observed the text written with sloppy handwriting. The Egyptian vaguely noticed that he had seen this writing style before…Marik had never seen Bakura write something in Yugioh, though, so he didn't really know Bakura's writing style…

 

He did recognize the font of this diary text, however…He recognized it as the same writing he had seen yesterday, carved on that football…Slowly, in a frightened, anxious motion, Marik ran his finger over the trail of the letters of the first word in the diary, observing the way his finger moved in relation to the letters of the text.

 

Perfect match.

 

Marik froze. He utterly stopped breathing. Instantly, he turned the page backwards in order to come back to the page with the `Journal' sign. Marik squinted his eyes in order to better observe the page. There, on the lower right corner of the page, written in small, almost invisible letters was carved the inevitable, tell-tale sign.

 

His own signature.

 

M,Ishtar 05/14/2000

 

Marik blinked. And blinked again. If this diary was written in 2000, then he was 16 years old when he started writing it.

 

Shit.

 

Marik's fingers were trembling even more by now. This wasn't Bakura's diary…it was HIS.

 

Why had Bakura been holding his diary while drinking vodka yesterday night? Why was Bakura so obsessed with MARIK'S diary?? Nothing made sense…

 

The answers could be found in only one place.

 

Marik took a determined look and flipped the page of the book. He would read his own journal. He'd do it…just to see what kind of person he used to be, and what his private thoughts were…

 

He'd do it, just to learn why Bakura loved the words of this diary so much.