Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Paranoid ❯ Paranoid ( Chapter 19 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

By: Nehti

Aloha! I'll just be brief for now!! The long rant is coming in the next chapter, which will be the last! This chapter contains lyrics from Linkin Park, please don't ignore them- they are very important to the plot. Thanks to Winter P.Y for the lyrics of `Papercut'! I have changed some of the lyrics, so that they may fit the story…

I'LL SEE YOU ALL IN THE NEXT CHAPTER WHICH IS COMING TOMORROW!!!!

“Mmmm…this tastes good…” Marik's deep bass commented lightly.

“No duh! It would taste better if we didn't have to eat it in the middle of the street!!” Bakura's aggravated voice bit back sharply. Marik only let out a gruff laugh.

Quite predictably, Marik had been the cause of their problem yet again. Once they had reached the restaurant and ordered lunch, Marik decided he had to use the restroom. Somehow, on the way to the restroom he caught sight of someone who looked a lot like the Pharaoh- as he claimed. Consequently, Marik had grabbed the closest fire extinguisher -which had been conveniently resting on a wall nearby- and used it on the stranger's hair.

The shop owner's reactions were swift. Predictably, he kicked both Bakura and Marik out of the store in no time. Luckily for both of them, Bakura had already paid for the food and thus took hold of their lunch before they left.

Currently, the two friends were sitting and eating in front of a doorstep in the middle of the highway. At this point, Bakura honestly wanted to hit his bash on the wall.

“Remind me to tell Dr. Westman you're totally insane when we visit tomorrow.” Bakura murmured somewhat amusedly while chomping on his lettuce.

Marik groaned loudly “Geez, did you HAVE to remind me of that? Urgh…”

Bakura chuckled darkly, his red eyes shading with sadism. “Too bad, Mariku…I might just abandon you in the nuthouse again…”

“DON'T YOU DARE!!”

Bakura just shook his head dismissively and turned back to his food.

Marik blinked. All his problems and demons seemed so far away now. What Pharaoh? What Yami Marik? All he knew was Bakura's carefree face.

It was truly outstanding, the levels of intimacy their relationship could have. Their ways of loving and being with each other changed according to the environment.

Now that they were on public view, no bodily contact was made, whatsoever. However, Marik realized that they were sitting just close enough to feel the other's physical presence. It seemed to be automatic, the way they always made sure the other was close by 24/7.

For the eyes of the world, Bakura and Marik were two friends who had reached the level of brotherhood…but when night came, and their bedroom door closed, things were totally different.

Frantic kisses and whispered words, accompanied by hot touches and eager moans. All of this dirt would never pass to the minds of their friends and family -ok, well not family- who simply saw them as two inseparable siblings who competed in EVERYTHING except…women. To the eyes of others, Marik realized, it must have seemed like Bakura and Marik were just brothers.

But no one could really understand they had both found what everyone is searching for. What use could a woman's curves and charms do, when there was someone so alive, so close? What could compare to the mutual sense of understanding? It was like an agreement, a deal. Wait during the day, live during the night.

And it wasn't about sex. Anyone could do that- any woman. It was the feeling- the pressure. The excitement of secrecy, the tryst of lovers. Brothers to the eyes of the world, lovers in their hearts. It wasn't like their love was forbidden or anything, they had just chosen it this way.

Both of them loved to tease people, loved to see people's confused faces when the two of them exchanged dirty glances or blatant insinuations. They loved to perplex others with their dependence on one another and enjoyed watching people eye them somewhat wearily.

`What's wrong with these two?' or `What's going on here?' was a usual thought in people's minds when they watched Bakura and Marik. If thought about carefully, the situation was painfully obvious. It was just thrilling to watch people try and work it out in disbelief.

“So, since Isis won't let us back home, how `bout we go to the bar early?” Bakura inquired lazily, while biting into his hamburger.

Marik perked up immediately “The bar? Is it open at this hour?” he asked. He was excited to say the least, in the prospect of seeing Bakura as a barman again.

Bakura gestured negatively “Nope. But I always have the keys with me. Besides, there are always things to do…”

He let that meaningful statement trail on, catching Marik's attention completely. Immediately, the Egyptian's brain was littered with progressively dirty images of two naked figures sprawled on top of the bar counter. To Bakura's great amusement, the blonde shot up from his sitting position.

“Come on. We're leaving.” It was a statement, not a request.

Bakura resisted the urge to guffaw his guts out. “Marik is Marik no matter what, right?” he commented, as he drowsily started to stand up. “Just try to control your urges…”

Marik narrowed his eyes at the evil comment, but chose to ignore nonetheless. What was the use of denial? Bakura was right and Marik knew it.

“Common, get on the bike…” Marik eagerly watched Bakura walk by him in those tight, black jeans, and a seductive grin came to his face. He jumped on his bike, accompanied closely by Bakura, and revved it up.

Enjoying the feeling of his friend's arms wrapped around his torso, he started the motor.

“What's the way, again?” he asked hastily, making Bakura grin.

“Just make a right here….”

And so they continued, Bakura showing Marik the road to the bar, while the Egyptian followed directions eagerly.

Marik grinned, unbeknownst to his albino. He felt the -by now- familiar fluttery feeling in his chest at hearing Bakura's voice.

It hit him suddenly.

He was back. The old Marik was back. He was living HIS life. This WAS his life. He was no psycho. He had a life and this was it!

And finally, Marik understood Bakura's words- the words the albino had said that morning.

`No matter if your memory comes back or not…nothing will change…coz you're the same person.'

Marik blinked in confusion at his own prodigious revelation. No matter whether he was with or without his true memories…he had finally reached the stage where he could make Bakura laugh brightly; just like the Marik in those old pictures could.

That had to mean…it had to mean…

That even if he never got his memory back, his life would stay just as blessed. Bakura would be with him and they would be just as happy, just as `connected'…

Marik only wanted his memory back for personal gratification. But…even if he could never find it…he would still be the same. Still.

He turned a tentative gaze to the boy sitting behind him on the motorcycle and smiled giddily.

Still and forever.

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It was already seven o'clock when the boys reached the bar. Marik reveled in the fact that it seemed deserted. He prompted Bakura into opening the doors and leading them in.

The corridor that had been suffocating and loud the last time was now empty and quiet. Marik was convinced that no one was in the bar.

But of course, dreams don't always come true. When Bakura opened the door to the main dance floor, Marik greeted the sight of at least six people rushing around on the stage.

“What the…who are these guys?” Marik questioned in blatant aggravation, earning a grin from Bakura.

“Oh, I probably forgot to mention that the band comes early every day for rehearsals…” the albino watched his friend's eyes darken in irritation “…Sorry.” But he didn't seem to mean it one bit, considering he was smiling cruelly.

“MARIK??!!! OH MY GOOOOOD!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!!” a high-pitched screech was heard, and Marik had to cover his ears for protection. The blonde didn't know what hit him as he was suddenly crushed in the embrace of a woman he didn't even know.

“Ummm….hello?” he offered, looking at Bakura for a little help. He certainly couldn't recognize the woman who was currently hugging him. All he could make out was a mop of sparkly, blonde hair.

“Mariku…this is Mai Valentine. She's the bar director I was telling you about, remember…?”

Marik froze. `Mai Valentine'?

The woman let go of him finally, and he got a chance to stare into her recognizable, unmistakable amethyst eyes.

`That woman! The woman I sacrificed to the darkness on the Battle ship!! WHEELER'S girlfriend!! What the heck…'

“Marik! I'm so glad you're better! I was worried sick, you know! You must learn that some pranks are totally not cool!” she chirped in an overly excited voice.

Marik sighed inwardly `Seems like I know her in real life too…damn, this is confusing…'

“Mariku, everything ok?” Bakura inquired somewhat worriedly, seeing Marik's flabbergasted expression. The albino then turned to the girl “Sorry, Mai, he's just not feeling totally well yet…Could you please get him something to drink?” he inquired.

Marik noted how funny it was that Bakura answered in his place, saying all the things he had wanted to say for himself. Their telepathy was getting weirder and weirder…

“Sure!! Hey Marik! Don't forget! You have to play for us tonight! The club hasn't got half the customers it once had without you!!” Mai cheerfully said, before she sauntered back towards the bar.

It took Marik a minute to realize what she was referring to. Guitars. She wanted him to play the guitar in the club!! Shit…he didn't even know how to touch that thing…

Bakura probably understood what his love was thinking, because he rushed to speak.

“Don't worry, Mariku…We can always say that you don't feel comfortable playing without your own guitar or something…You don't have to…”

Marik nodded a bit drowsily “She was in Battle City, you know…” Marik suddenly blurted out, making Bakura furrow his brow in confusion.

“Who?” the albino asked after a moment or two.

Marik turned a pointed glance towards Mai's bouncing form “'Mai Valentine'”

Bakura's eyes widened for a second, but recovered immediately. “Really? What was she like?”

Marik smirked unceremoniously “Just as loud, if that's what you mean…”

Bakura grinned secretively “Why don't you tell me about it…?”

Marik grinned back.

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It had taken a while to unravel Mai Valentine's story from his false memories. It had taken so long, in fact, that the first customers had started filling the bar.

In a while, Marik and Bakura were back behind the bar counter, serving drinks to hordes of eager youngsters, who had come either in the prospect of getting drunk, or just dancing their heads off.

Sin, the girl from Marik's old band, had shown up yet again, making curious inquiries about why Marik didn't want to play a guitar solo for them. Marik had watched Bakura deal with the problem, telling everybody valid excuses.

But Marik didn't fail to see the exasperated look in his lover's eyes and wondered if he could ever give Bakura the pleasure of playing music again…The Egyptian turned his eyes to the stage, where a group was starting a new song, rock by the looks of it. Marik watched them touch the chords of their guitars softly, then wildly, and wondered if he could ever do that again.

Would he? Could he?

His movements paused unconsciously, as he dazedly stared at the singers. That song…it rang a bell…the melody…he had heard it before…

Why does it feel like night today?

Something in here's not right today…

Why am I so uptight today?

Paranoia's all I got left…

I don't know what stretched me first, or how the pressure was fed…

But I know just what it feels like, to have a voice in the back of my head…

By now, Marik was staring, motionless, at the singing man. He had heard those lyrics…he'd read them somewhere before…Actually, he could hear someone singing them in his mind. It wasn't the man that was singing them in the bar…It was someone else…He knew that voice- he'd heard it before…He didn't exactly remember where, though…

Slowly, he started walking towards the stage, abandoning the busy bar and Bakura who was working behind it. The albino didn't notice him leave his side and Marik walked slowly amongst the wildly dancing crowd. He came to stand near the stage. So near, that he could hear the deafening combination of all woofers hitting him. He could practically read the next lyrics, as they were uttered from the singer's lips.

It's a face that I hold inside,

Aface that awakes when I close my eyes…

Aface that watches every time I lie…

A face that laughs every time I fall.

So I know that when it's time to sink or swim
That the face inside is hearing me
Right beneath my ssskin

Marik gasped all of a sudden, as something fuzzy enveloped his lungs. He chocked on his own saliva and gripped his head in both hands. White light attacked his brain form all sides, as images came crashing down on him one after the other. Familiar voices racked through his mind, hitting his nerves and provoking even more images.

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“You have long hair! You must be a girl! HA!”

“Do I know you, blondie?”

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“I don't KNOW why, okay? I just love bikes!”

“Yikes! Fine! It's not like I meant it in a bad way…”

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“Piss off, will ya? We've got better things to do than mow your lawn, Rishido!”

“Behave yourself, Marik…”

“But nee-san! Didn't you hear what he said?! Bakura, didn't you hear!!?”

<whistle>

“Why you!!!”

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“Just, don't touch me, okay?”

“I don't get it, Mariku…What's your problem? You're all jumpy around me nowadays…Is something wrong…?”

“No…just…don't touch me…I don't know…Just forget it, ok?”

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“Why won't you tell me what's wrong? Do you hate me now, or something??!!”

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“So…do you like it?”

“I-I…it's great…”

“I wrote it for you.”

“Huh?”

“The song…it's for you…”

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“Back then, when you said you didn't want to touch me any more, Mariku…I thought you hated me…Ever since I met you in the clinic…all I wanted to do was make you love me…you were the only one who ever cared about me… ”

“…I wanted you from day one…”

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“Oh please, Isis, don't be like Father!”

“You have responsibilities, Marik…Life isn't just rock. It's something you have to accept…”

“Then I'll take my responsibilities with Bakura.”

“Marik! You can't run a library with Bakura!”

“Wanna bet?”

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“How `bout a bar?”

“Huh?”

“She wants you to be responsible, right? Why not be responsible with a bar?”

“What the…”

“I've always wanted a bar. I wish I could be like one of those guys…You know, with the bottles…”

“…Are you serious?”

“Totally. Just imagine: you rocking the stage, me rocking the bar…that way you'd play your songs…”

“…I…I never knew…”

“Huh?”

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“Bakura? What on earth are you wearing?!?!”

“Don't you like it? Mariku chose it for me…”

“That's right…And whoever has a prob with my taste can piss off, thankyou very much…especially you, baldy…”

“Watch your mouth, little brother…”

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“….I love your lips…”

“…why?...”

“…uh…because they're red?”

“…beep!!…wrong answer.”

“…I see…so what's the right answer…babe?”

“… `because they fit on mine'…”

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“What would you do without me, Bakura?”

“…I would die…”

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Marik gasped and tried to steady his crumbling form, his own voice echoing in his mind. And behind it all, the song lyrics were there, sang by a voice all too familiar…a voice he didn't dare recognize…

It's like I'm paranoid, lookin' over my back
It's like a whirlwind inside of my head
It's like I can't stop what I'm hearing within
It's like the face inside is right beneath my skin

His own voice. Singing that song.

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“Look Bakura! We can make a group! I'll play the solo, you do the bass!”

“What are you talking about, Mariku? I can't sing and you know it!”

“Yeah, right…”

“I can, however, be a cheerleader…”

“…now that I'd like to see!!”

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“Chichiue! Please! I-I don't want to!...”

“Shut up, boy! You need to train for this! How else will you become a man!!”

“No chichiue!! Please!”

“Shut your mouth, Marik!! What would your mother say if she saw you now!?”

“But…but I can't do it…”

“You have no choice! It has to be done!”

“I don't want to, chichiue! I can't kill Suppe…”

“It's not `Suppe' you little fag! It's a friggin' mouse!! Now KILL IT!!”

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“Otou-sama!! Please! Please don't hurt him!”

“Shut up, Isis! Learn your place as a woman! Now…Marik…where were we?”

“No…no, please don't, chichiue…please…please…”

“Stop begging you prat!!”

“CHICHIUE!!”

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“He's going to die, you know. Father is going to die….that's why we're here, in the clinic, Marik…”

“…I couldn't care less.”

“Marik…”

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Marik gasped and tried to steady his heart. Suddenly, he didn't need to listen to the song. He knew the lyrics beforehand. They were sung in his brain…He was singing them…on the stage…

I know I've got a face in me
Points out all my mistakes to me
You've got a face on the inside too and
Your paranoia's probably worse
I don't know what set me off first
But I know what I can't stand
Everybody acts like the fact of the matter is
I can't add up to what you can but

Everybody has a face that they hold inside
A face that awakes when I close my eyes
A face watches every time they lie
A face that laughs every time they fall
And watches everything

So you know that when it's time to sink or swim
That the face inside is watching you too
Right inside your skin

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“What do you mean by that?”

“I'm sorry Mr.Ishtar. We were sent from your father's sister in Egypt. Your aunt said that now that you have graduated from school, you can deal with such matters…”

“I don't understand…”

“Mariku! What's going on!!”

“Bakura!...Go back inside, okay? I'll be back in a sec…”

“Mariku…”

“Just go back inside…I'll be back right back, I promise…”

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“Just tell me if I get this straight…I have to go to jail for something that my Father did??!?”

“I'm sure you realize that rape is not to be taken lightly, Mister Ishtar…When your father raped your aunt- his own sister- he also blackmailed her. We never got the chance to arrest him, for he fled in America right away. He got an alibi immediately, but now that he has died and you have come of age, we can take your aunt's requests and accusations into full consideration … in our homeland, Egypt, justice is served either way…You have to understand that you have the right to remain silent…”

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“I-I don't believe it...How could he go this FAR?!?!My Father raped with my aunt so many years ago and now I have to pay the price??!”

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“Either I go to jail in Egypt or I give her my whole fortune...”

“I-I don't believe it…How could he go this FAR?!?! Your father raped his own sister!!!”

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“They had a child??!! I can't believe he had a child by rape!!”

“It's she who wants revenge, isn't it? The daughter…”

“I…I'm not the one who did this to her mother…she has no right to ask me this…I-I'm not my Father…”

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“I'M NOT MY FATHER!!!!! I WILL NEVER BE!! DO YOU HEAR ME??!!”

“MARIKU!! SNAP OUT OF IT!!”

“I'M NOT!! I'M NOT HIM!!! I HATE HIM!! HATE! HATE! HATE! HATE HIM!!!! I'LL NEVER BE LIKE HIM!!!!!!”

“MARIKU!!!!”

“I'LL KILL HIM…I'LL KILL…I'LL KILL YOU!!! I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!!!!!!”

“Bakura!! Watch out!!”

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The sun
I feel the light betray me
The sun
I feel the light betray me

It's like I'm paranoid lookin' over my back
It's like a whirlwind inside of my head
It's like I can't stop what I'm hearing within
It's like the face inside is right beneath my skin

And as Marik watched his whole life snap in front of him, not once did he realize that he had climbed the stairs to the stage. Not once did he realize that the crowd stopped dancing and the music stopped playing when he took the guitar from another man's hands…He didn't even see Bakura, as the boy stared at him from the bar, red eyes wide and frightened.

All Marik could see was his pain. His whole life, from beginning to end…And only one scene stayed in his mind. Only one.

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“I had a weird dream yesterday…You know, I dreamed I was different…a Dark personality…I dreamed it was me who raped her…me who…”

“Mariku…”

“And so I wrote this song…”

“Mariku, just…”

“I want you to hear it…coz I'll only sing it for you…I want you to know what I feel…when I think…”

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Marik grinned comfortably, suddenly feeling the tension fade away from his nerves. He let his fingers roam over the familiar strings, hitting the guitar in just the right places. It took a few moments for everyone to realize what was going on…The band around Marik decided to join in, playing the tune that had become familiar in that bar.

When this began
I had nothing to say
And I get lost inthe nothingness inside of me
I was confused
And I let it all out to find
That I'm not the only person with these things in mind
Inside of me
But all the vacancy the words revealed
Is the only real thing that I've got left to feel

Nothing to lose
Just stuck/ hollow and alone
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own

Bakura was staring, shocked and frozen, as the song of their past rang loud and clear in his ears. The voice that had sung it to him so many times echoed just like in his sweetest dreams.

I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm close to something real
I wanna find something I've wanted all along
Somewhere I belong

And I've got nothing to say
I can't believe I didn't fall right down on my face
I was confused
Looking everywhere only to find
That it's not the way I had imagined it all in my mind
So what am I
What do I have but negativity
'Cause I can't justify the way, everyone is looking at me
Nothing to lose
Nothing to gain/ hollow and alone
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own

And as Marik reopened his eyes, they were brighter and more startling than any other time…for Marik was complete.

I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real
I wanna let goof the pain I've held so long
Erase all the pain till it's gone
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm close to something real
I wanna find something I've wanted all along
Somewhere I belong

I will never know myself until I do this on my own
And I will never feel anything else, until my wounds are healed
I will never be anything till I break away from me
I will break away, I'll find myself today(1)

I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm close to something real
I wanna find something I've wanted all along
Somewhere I belong

As Marik finished his song and the bar erupted in frantic cheer, Mai's loud voice echoed louder than all others. But Marik ignored them all; for his eyes were forever stuck on Bakura's; neither of them moving.

Only when Marik descended the stairs quietly and the crowd rushed to lift him up with their hands did Bakura awake from his trance. He ran to his friend, abandoning all puzzled customers of the bar.

When he reached the Egyptian, he simply stared at him. Marik stared back, only silence enveloping their hazy minds.

“You were right.” The blonde suddenly commented. They had long since exited the bar and were now standing on the sidewalk, outside.

Bakura just looked at him.

“Right about what, Mariku?”

“I don't feel different.” Was the simple answer, accompanied by a mysterious glint in his eye.

Bakura was tentative, since he didn't want to push his luck.

“Different about what?”

But Marik just grinned somewhat serenely and turned to gaze at the starlit night sky.

“Did you like it? Did I sing it well?”

Bakura was silent, frozen with shock.

Marik grinned, and turned around to watch his albino as he spoke again.

“I thought so.”

Bakura took a small step towards his love. He was startled to say the least, when Marik spoke up again.

“You know…I never did understand what was so wrong about changing Isis's wedding cake. So what if we paid the baker shop an extra 100 bucks to write “BALDY” all across the cake in big, protruding, red letters? I thought it was cute…”

Marik turned a meaningful stare towards his friend. “Don't you?”

Bakura was immobilized. He'd never told Marik about that, had he? That could only mean one thing…Marik…Marik…

“Y-You remember?”

A small tug at the blonde's lips.

“Let's just say it was an unforgettable experience…”

Marik thought he'd never seen his lovely albino's red eyes glow so red, or the other boy's wild hair, spike up so much.

“MARIK!!!” the silver angel shouted in tears, as he fell in his love's arms.

Marik sighed blissfully in the other boy's hair, taking in that heavenly smell he adored to the brink of death.

“I know where I belong”

And for once in his life, Marik felt complete.

TBC

THE NEXT CHAPTER IS THE LAST!!!!! PLZ REVIEW!!!!

(1): These are my favorite lyrics in the entire rock realm. Maybe it's because they just express my entire essence.