Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Possession ❯ Possession ( Chapter 1 )

Disclaimer: Me no own characters of which I speak. Which is probably all for the best, all things considered. My mind does strange things sometimes, a prime example of such being the fic you are currently waiting for me to get to.

Warnings: Hints of shounen ai between Y/Y, if you are so inclined, a few bad words. Darkish and slightly twisted, if I do say so myself.

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I don't know when it started.

No. No, that's not right.

I don't know if it started. Has it always been this way?

Perhaps.

I don't know.

No one does. Not even Yugi. But then, why should he? Why should he even care? It's all the better for him. At least, as far as he's concerned. I have a different opinion on the subject.

Of course, he knows, but he's sure as hell not going to tell.

It's not like any of us have the courage to ask, anyway.

Sometimes it feels like it's breaking my heart, and I don't know why.

At least, I don't think I do.

It's confusing for us poor ignorant fellows, to see what we see, and yet not see what is there.

Right.

I'll give you an example, then. Of the ordinary life of a teenager, and how it can be expertly screwed up by someone who has been dead for millenia.

A girl - don't most stories start this way?

A girl, a shy girl, with ordinary brown eyes and ordinary brown hair and freckles on her nose. Just an average, quiet girl, witty whenever she rarely spoke, polite and calm. Not overtly popular, not shunned, just plain normal. A rarity, it seems, in times such as these.

At any rate, this shy, clever girl took a liking to Yugi. Understandable, I suppose - he's the soul of kindness, and quite adorable when he wants to be. Modest and polite - and shy.

So it came as quite a shock when they had lunch together.

We, of course, beamed with pride, teased him mercilessly, and offered the random noogie, all in the name of camaraderie. It was cute, she was cute, and Yugi kept laughing nervously whenever we put him on the spot. We thought he was embarassed, but now I wonder...

It lasted three days.

Three.

And on that third day, they sat under a tree together, ate lunch, and when the bell rang, she collected her things, walked quietly back into the building, went to the nurse's office, and was violently ill.

We suspected food poisoning, pms, or whatever. So when we caught up with Yugi after school, it was but a little matter to ask him what had happened.

He turned those wide, innocent eyes up towards us, blinked, and shrugged. "I told her," he said, his voice sweet and gentle as ever, "That it wasn't working."

I blinked several times in shock. Three days and you could tell? But still, that didn't seem any reason for the girl to go and be sick, they had hardly known each other, after all.

"Why?"

Yugi looked away and blushed.

"C'mon, you can tell us! Did she have really bad breath or something?"

He shook his head vehemently, gaze fixed firmly on the sidewalk. "It's not that."

"So what is it?"

He shook his head again, sped up, and went on his way, mumbling farewells as he dashed off towards home.

Something didn't click right with me, so after departing from our merry band, I darted off after him, intent on taking a few nice shortcuts - they would get me to the game shop before he could.

Much to my surprise, Yugi was taking the same shortcut - but not running. No, he was meandering along the secluded back alleys, perfectly content, idly chattering about his day, occasionally tossing cheery glances up towards the figure gliding alongside him.

Yami no Yugi doesn't walk. He stalks, he prowls, he flows, but he does not walk.

It's kinda creepy.

But what made me sick to my stomach, what made my mind churn and my heart ache wasn't that.

"I feel sorta bad about Rei, though," Yugi remarked softly, a saddened note coming into his voice.

"Why?"

That single, careless, unfeeling word hit me like a sucker-punch to the stomach. Cool, blank, disdainful - was she such a lowly creature in the eyes of royalty?

"Well, she was nice," Yugi replied, "I wouldn't have minded getting to know her better."

Yugioh paused mid-step and tilted his head - I was behind them, but couldn't see his expression. Whatever it was, it made Yugi start and reach for his counterpart's hand.

Something in my gut twisted as he wrapped himself around the pharaoh's arm and nuzzled up against his side.

"But she doesn't matter, really," he continued, voice suddenly more subued, almost shy. "I know you didn't like her."

The only reply was a softly-voiced, "Good." But I could hear the malicious smirk that deepened it.

It froze me in my tracks.

But I kept my suspicions to myself, and managed to corner the girl a few days later.

"What'd he say to you?"

She looked away, pale fingers clenching reflexively around her books.

"C'mon, it's really important!"

When she finally met my eyes, her gaze was tear-filled. "He said that part of him really liked me, but the rest of him absolutely loathed me, and he couldn't disagree with himself, even though he thought I was a nice girl, okay?" she hissed, brown eyes sparking in anger, "He said it so sweetly and gently, that he despised me to the point of wanting to kill me, and that we should keep away from each other for my sake. For mine!"

She stomped off in a watery-eyed huff.

I was left standing in the hallway and feeling worse than before.

Yugi hates no one. Yugioh, however, is another matter.

And it's still going on. Naturally, why would it stop? Even in school, Yugi will sit there and idly trace the glimmering countours of his millenium puzzle, and occasionally that glazed look settles over his features, whenever the pharoh feels the urge to chat.

I hate that look. It means he's drifting away from us. Funny how often we see it, really.

He's taken to lunching with his yami, racing off under the trees to have a cozy little repast. He doesn't eat, of course, but I think Yugi just likes having his physical presence around. When he comes back, he's all sweet smiles and gentle inquiries - but can't he dine with us, his supposed best friends for a while?

And on those rare occasions when Yugi does decide to fraternize with us, he does his damnedest to drag his yami along.

Yugioh doesn't like people.

He'll tolerate us for Yugi's sake, but when we're out together, all he does is glare. He'll tag along if Yugi begs, melt a little if Yugi gives him a reproachful look from those big eyes, and concede just about anything to his aibou under the right circumstances.

That doesn't mean that he likes us.

If we're out among strangers, it's even worse. He and Yugi - I don't like thinking about how closely they mirror each other. Yugi is never far from Yami's side.

Strangers passing by have remarked on their similarities, and asked if they were brothers. Yugi has always smiled and nodded, latching onto Yugioh's waist with a cute smile, looking much younger than his sixteen years.

That trick works wonderfully on girls. They swarm the two whenever they're together, the adorable Yugi causing many a delighted squeal and invitation to the movies, and the colder and more commanding Yami causing more than a few squeals of his own.

That chilling crimson gaze freezes possible dates in their tracks.

And the fact that those ruby eyes more often than not drift towards an attractive young man like Yugi Moutu helps to fend them off as well. Yami no Yugi does not look at his hikari the way one regards a brother. No - his is the look that screams 'Mine!' - the look of a jealous lover, the look of a fierce guardian, a look of pure ownership - something far darker than any glance you would give a family member.

They're more than family, I suppose. Two halves of a whole. Maybe that's what scares me. The fact that they belong together. Don't they? It seems like it.

Now that I think about it, he's awfully possessive.

In a truly awful way.

I've seen them together, while Yugi stuffs his face and silently babbles to his dark side about the day. Seen the patience within the older boy's posture, seen the elegant fingers that stroke sun-gold bangs away from his violet eyes, seen the large hand clasped over his shoulder, seen the cold smirk as he tore someone's soul to shreds.

Not a companion for the purest of the innocent - yet there he was. There he is, always. Always. It's both unnerving and infuriating.

At the movies, he sits on the outside, at Yugi's side. At the arcade, he plays the games, but keeps a guarding eye out for his hikari. He beats the hell out of anyone who looks at Yugi crosseyed.

People have died for harming Yugi. People have gone mad for threatening Yugi. People have been emotionally destroyed for teasing Yugi. And may God have mercy on the poor souls who dared to touch a hair on his head.

We are his friends. By default, then, we are Yami's. But he regards us with a cool, otherworldly detachment that makes you feel like you're the scum of the earth. If one of us were to die today, I'm pretty sure that his only worry would be how his precious aibou was taking the news.

I sound bitter, don't I?

Maybe I am.

I respect him, admire his courage and undying loyalty, am awed by his power and strength, all these things are true.

It's also true that he's cruel, cold, calculating, and sometimes just plain evil. It's true that since he showed up, Yugi's been drifting slowly away from us. Truth hurts, doesn't it?

Truth is, Yami no Yugi acts as a repellant to all that Yugi himself attracts. There's some kind of twisted irony in all of this, if only I could find it.

Yugi Moutu, a child of sweetness and light, finds the missing half of his soul in the imprisoned spirit of a 3,000 year old pharaoh. Not you average coming of age story, is it?

Do I like him?

Hell no.

Yami no Yugi, as far as I am concerned, is a complete bastard.

But that isn't the worst part.

Far from it. I can handle petty dislikes, minor things, whatever. I can be nice and polite to someone I despise. I am.

No, the worst part - the most horrible, mind-boggling, terrifying thing of all is one simple, glaring, painful fact.

Yugi knows.

And he doesn't care.

He doesn't give a damn.

Sweet, gentle, caring Yugi Moutu doesn't mind it at all.

He embraces it.

Embraces it! Looks that darkness in the eye and cuddles into it, coaxes it into the real world, lets it coax him back to its side.

That, then, must be why they are together. No one else could be bright enough, or dark enough, to handle either of them. They're practically soulmates - hell, I don't know, maybe they are!

And there's not a damn thing any of us can do about it.

Because that would break him. Even if we somehow survived his wrath, it would break him.

We can't do that.

No one can.

So we sit and watch him - no, watch them...

Why save him from himself?

He protects him better than any of us can.

He cares for him more than any of us can.

He knows him better than any of us can.

Devotion? Love? What else could it be?

No - I couldn't take that from Yugi. No matter how much I wanted to, no matter how much I felt in the right, no matter what anyone said - I couldn't.

Who could keep them apart?

No one.

Damn it all, no one.

Bitter? Me?

Hell yes.

I wish I understood.

I wish I were more ignorant.

I don't know.

I don't know anything.

I guess this means I'll be watching them again.

Just watching - but of course I don't let them know. I know the rules: Whatever you do, don't get caught. Not if you want to keep your sanity and yourself.

Nobody can save souls once they have been shattered.

I would be a fool to think he wouldn't do it.

He takes threats very seriously - and doesn't hesitate to kill.

But only for his aibou, of course.

Anything for his aibou.

The rest of us can go to hell.

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AN: Hiroto Honda, I finally identified you.

Feedback: mjalta@yahoo.com

Onwards to Journal #2 : Sweet Surrender
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