Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Possession ❯ Out of the Shadows ( Chapter 14 )

Disclaimer: No, I still don't own them.

AN: Ficcage. Malik. Stuff. Extreme shortness. Don't hurt me.

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Lunacy. It's quite fun.

Tumble down into it.

Go ahead. Don't be afraid.

Fling yourself off the goddamn bridge of so-called normalcy and laugh while you do it.

Yeah, you might be crazy, and hell, you probably are, but does it really matter? Madness isn't so bad, really, not when it's all you've ever known and everything you've dared to dream of.

Who cares? If the world is there, why not take it? If the night is waiting, why not embrace it? If evil runs so rampant, why not catch it in your arms? What's to stop you except your own cowardice?

Splattered blood under the dim glow of streetlights, and wild laughter ringing through an unholy night.

Who wouldn't relish it?

Forever and eternity, amen! If I could race the wind and challenge all the stars, I would do so gladly. If the sting of youth be poisoned, why not fling yourself into it wholeheartedly? The antidote lies within your soul, all you have to do is find it. And though tumbling down might loom on the horizon, the horizon is still far away, and I might never reach it.

I can't imagine growing old.

I can't see myself all proper and upright and married with kids at age forty.

Of course, that's probably 'cause I'm sleeping with a guy, but what the hell! He doesn't think about it either, and why should he? He's been the same for never and for always.

Nah, that's not for us. Eternity, yes, that's what we're gonna race along and keep trying to find 'cause stopping would kill us both - but time to grow up? Impossible! For those few who were chosen so long ago, age froze beneath the desert sky with a last gasping breath - and it hasn't bothered them since. And we, the so-called innocents, are them just as much as they are us.

So I fell in love with my own darkness.

Big fucking deal. Because damn everything, he's beautiful as hell and even though I hate him I can't dream of not having him in my arms.

Contradiction? Hell yes, but then, isn't that my purpose in life? To be what he isn't? We're a weird match, we both know it - we're not quite like the other two, but he's me and I'm him and I love him regardless of everything.

So he's psychotic, a raving lunatic, a homicidal maniac who dances with the dead and lusts for destruction. So he's swept me off my feet and sung me around with glee in the wake of a brutal murder, scarlet staining his possessive hands and sliding over my skin like a caress from an angelic demon. So what if I've laughed to see his glee? Who cares if I drown in his passion? He's mine for life and life might last forever so why not embrace it?

He kisses like fire and loves like sheer madness and it's the most wonderful thing in the world. To thine own self be true, said some dead English guy, and why the hell not? Best damn advice I've ever heard.

Evil isn't so bad when it loves you.

He's cuddled me and kissed my hair and brought me flowers and fed me breakfast in bed and tickled me and showered me in soft embraces and given me exotic gifts and taken me dancing and seduced me and watched the stars with me and giggled and chased me around the house and hugged me so hard I couldn't breathe.

He's shrieked and raged and destroyed and reveled in carnage. I've seen him laugh over the empty bodies of those who dared to challenge him. I've seen him flaring with deadly jealousy when someone had the nerve to give me a second look. I've seen his quiet envy as the pharaoh and his hikari triumph again and again. I've sensed his amusement at the tomb robber's infatuation with his pretty little Ryou.

I've seen the tomb robber beat him over the head with a table.

They're both weird as hell - and weirdly enough, they're friends. I guess psychosis draws its own together - the tomb robber's not quite stable, either. But then again, who is? Even the pharaoh has had more than his share of "Hello, I am the living incarnation of Ra on earth, goodbye puny mortal!" moments.

The pharaoh's kinda scary sometimes. But Yugi's pretty lucky. It's sort of glaringly obvious that they're involved with each other - it's fucking hilarious that nobody else seems to have noticed. Or if they have, they're too damn shy to mention it. Heh. Maybe they're scared. Pharaoh's pretty damn possessive of his hikari... hell, every yami is pretty grabby. Even mine has been known to physically pick me up and toss me over his shoulder and stroll smugly away from potential dates. Thank the gods nobody I knew saw that. Yami carried me all the way home, damn him, cackling all the way. Amazing how quickly the sidewalk cleared...

Yeah. Yugi's lucky. His yami isn't insane. Well, except when he's angry. Then... well, when he's well and truly pissed off, he's worse than Ryou's yami and my yami combined. But at least Yugi keeps him in the realm of sanity for the most part. My yami, however, is just plain bonkers.

I refuse to mention the pancake incident. Suffice to say, Isis kicked us out of the house for a week.

The stupid tomb robber nearly busted his gut laughing at us. Feh, just because there was syrup in Yami's hair... and in my hair... and all over our clothes and dripping onto the sidewalk... I'm getting off the subject, though I'm not really sure I had a subject to begin with.

You know, I think my yami's rubbing off on me. He's pretty strange... but who am I to talk? Who are any of us?

Just because shadows rule our lives doesn't mean we don't feel the pressure of outside at least a little.

Oh hell, what am I talking about? Maybe this is all just a dream... it could be a nightmare, but nightmares can't be so sweet as waking in his arms in the early light of morning and tasting honey breath against my lips, or the way that he smiles when he sees me.

Yes, I love him. I hate him and I love him forever and ever amen.

Crazy?

Ride into the night and see how sane you are. Breathe in eternity and see how long you can resist its allure.

Run into the daylight and be blinded. I'm not a jealous person, but to see them walking in the sunlight like they do - the almighty pharaoh and his darling aibou - it almost makes me wish...

What am I saying? The others will never accept him. They don't even accept their precious Yugi fully, not when the pharaoh walks and lives in shadow, as he does and always shall. As every yami does.

Why don't they recognize the balance? Can't they feel it? How can they not sense the completion when the light embraces the darkness?

Maybe they're the crazy ones, who shrink away from the boldness of one stronger than they. He's not afraid to claim his own - he has no need to skulk in midnight shadows.

Jealous? Perhaps a bit. The thief is too cautious, my yami too... uh... unstable to wander freely among men without me there to balance him. But the pharaoh? What has he to fear from mortal men? What spirit would dare stand against him?

Mine, perhaps, and Ryou's, but they both know their limits. At times I wonder if Yugioh even has any limits.

I wish my yami would walk down the street with his arm around me - but I know he can't. I wish we could run around in daylight and hug and kiss and touch - but we can't. Not yet - not when the world still thinks I'm a child. Not when our so-called friends fear my other half so much.

But someday... some long-off day I'll walk just as freely with my yami as Yugi does right now.

Madness and chaos and blood. Coldly flashing lavender eyes and desert-browned skin, wild platinum hair flying like a demon's shadow around him. Gold glinting in sunlight. Passion and hungry darkness.

And the sweetest, most innocent smile a man could ever see.

Always for me.

Forever and ever.

Amen.

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AN: Yep. That was odd, ne?

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