Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Possession ❯ Sad Clown ( Chapter 24 )

Disclaimer: Nope, still not mine. Must rectify this situation somehow...

AN: Otogi-ness. Did I screw him up?

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Roll.

Clink.

Pretending I don't see them.

Roll.

Clink.

I'm not looking at their little clan. I'm not.

Roll.

Clink.

My groupies are being annoyingly loud today.

Roll.

Clink.

Maybe I should date one of them to shut them up?

...nah, I have better things to do with my time.

Heh. Sure I do.

Which is why I'm sitting here rolling the dice between my fingers and doing my damnedest to not look at them.

I'm doing a pretty good job, so far, anyway... they haven't noticed me watching them.

They don't notice a lot of things, do they? Only those things that they should, only that which might threaten them, only deigning to look at others when they happen to stick their noses where they don't belong. Which is anywhere that they are.

Elitist bastards. Even that loser Jounouchi hasn't even looked at me for the past week.

And... I can't help but wonder just what it is that they've been hiding.

It's something huge, I know - with them, it always is. Hell, it could be the end of life as everyone knew it, and they'd be right in the middle of things, wouldn't they?

...what I really hate is the longing I have to be with them.

This is stupid. I don't need them. Hell, I don't even like them.

...neither does Seto Kaiba, but that stuck up bastard - he's a part of their little clan. He's the big rival in the group, their loner outlaw, and the whole thing just sucks because they're all so damn perfect together that it nearly makes me sick.

They're whole. They've got their layers of secrets and darkness and light and lies and deception and truth so pure it could kill a man, and what have I got? Well... there's my game... and me.

But I know what I've seen. I'm far from blind when it comes to them.

Magic is alive - freaky as hell, but it's alive - and it's all wrapped up in the hands of a few wild-eyed teenagers.

They scare me. I'm man enough to admit it. Hell, they scare everyone... and why not? Ancient homicidal maniacs... or so I've heard, anyway. Kinda makes me wonder, then, why they cling so tightly together, supposing the threat is so great...

And the hangers-on, the ones who aren't quite chosen - they're there just the same. To balance the madness of whatever the hell those creatures are - I know about the pairs, the soul bonded ones, the ones who make no sense and bow before no god and are so pure that they can't understand why they make so many people cry.

I've seen Mazaki stare at Yugi with tears brimming in her eyes, but she always looks away whenever Yugi notices.

It's that sly innocence of theirs - unsettling? Sure, yeah, I've seen what I've seen, I've fled the scene when quiet Ryou Bakura turns... frightening, but that was just disturbing...

Childish pranks? Maybe, perhaps, but maliciousness is tempered by understanding, and so they don't mind when their other halves play hopscotch with the empty corpses of those who were fools enough to challenge them.

Okay, so I don't know that, exactly, but I certainly wouldn't put it past any of them. They're scary.

Everybody else knows it too.

They just ignore it.

Or try to, anyway. I've seen the puzzled looks, the quiet bewilderment, the tension and the fear and the apprehension that even the bravest mortal shows when facing down cool Egyptian eyes - and even through all this, they stay together.

Maybe they're all riding out the heart of the storm.

I don't know.

I shouldn't care.

I don't like wondering why.

I don't want to be a part of their little gang of dueling madmen, do I? Why would I? I would never want to tag along like a cheerleader and bounce and squeal and act like a fool... except that I have. But... I wouldn't do it again... would I?

It's ridiculous how long it's been since I could honestly answer that question. What's so great about them anyway? They're far from the popular crowd - sure, Yugi and Kaiba are internationally renowned, and even Jounouchi's pretty well known, but for some reason, people tend to stay pretty damn far away from them. ...this could, of course, have something to do with the fact that they don't accept outsiders. Anyone who even tries to get to know one of them closely gets a slap in the face when they're snubbed for the sake or their happy little family.

...bastards.

That little niggling voice in the back of my head keeps whispering that there might be a reason for this - ancient magic and spirits and shiny gold things that can change the world might just require a little bit of secrecy - but they don't have to be so cold about it.

Strangers come up, they're nice, the gang helps out the stranger, the stranger leaves, life is good.

Funny how the strangers never really become friends. Sure, they get accepted, and sure, they get challenged, and sure, they'll help them out with whatever they need - beyond the point of reason and farther - but they don't belong, and they know it.

I know it.

It doesn't help that the dark ones - those strange wild ones with the feral eyes and the homicidal tendencies - seem to be just the slightest bit on the grabby side.

Okay, maybe a lot more than a bit.

That guy who shoved Bakura in the hall the other day was found last night at his home, in his living room, strung up with his own intestines.

And everyone knew who'd done it, and hadn't said a single word.

They might be fighting to save humanity, but they've got a hell of a way of showing it. Who knows, they're probably all crazy anyway.

And at least a few of them definitely are.

I'm playing with my hair again. Bad hand. Stop it. And eyes! Stop looking at them! They cannot be as happy as they look - even if they do love each other.

A few of them a bit too much, but it's not my place to judge, even though narcissism hits a bit close to me, after all - but my ego's not that big, is it?

And it's not like I have another half, either. But... aside from the power and the protection and the... um, right, that wouldn't work, I'm straight, but, an evil (or at least extremely amoral, like Yugi's other half) version of me would just be... creepy.

They do a lot of that creepy thing. A lot.

The three with other halves are just freaky, Jounouchi and Honda want to kill me for looking twice at Shizuka, Mazaki scares me, and Kaiba's an obsessive anal-retentive control freak.

I try to hide a snort, remembering a highly amusing afternoon calculus test. Make that an obsessive anal-retentive control freak with a tendency to be highly overprotective of his little brother.

...hm. Maybe they're human after all.

I blink, watching them laugh together from underneath my lashes. Maybe they're friends because of more than destiny?

Maybe they actually, truly, honestly care about each other?

Or do they just not have a choice?

Why do I so badly want to make sense out of this mess? Nothing makes sense!

...so maybe I'm just not worthy of being one of them.

I might be bright and handsome and popular and successful... but just not special enough to be one of them.

What's so damned special about them anyway?

I glance at them from underneath my bangs.

Laughing. Crying. Arguing. Living. Dying.

Oh.

I forgot.

Everything.

I close my eyes and grit my teeth and turn resolutely away.

Roll, clink.

I'll just ignore them.

Roll.

Clink.

For right now, I'll forget about it.

Roll.

Clink.

I won't ever think about it again. I can find my own destiny, I don't need the golden crowd, I don't need the blessed ones, I don't need the ones who don't need me.

Roll.

Clink.

Really.

Roll.

Clink.

I don't.

Roll.

Clink.

...shit.

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